Current Events > Hypothetical: A massive bear kidnaps your son.

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UnfairRepresent 10/04/22 3:50:22 PM #1:	You're walking along one day in the middle of no where with your young son When suddenly before you could spell your name a gigantic bear comes charging from out of sight and barrels right into you with authority, sending you flying ass over teakettle and landing awkwardly on your side, crushing your phone so badly it breaks. You try to get you BEARings when it smacks you with a big bear paw, hurting like hell and pressing your face into the dirt. You're bracing yourself for a mauling but it never comes, you look up to see the bear has instead grabbed your son in its mouth and started to run away. "Help me! DAAAAAAAD HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLP!" you hear your struggling son screech helplessly as the bear runs off carrying him like a trophy, out of sight and into the wilderness. https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/3/8/AAZiH8AADqe2.jpg There is no one around, your phone is busted and the bear is getting further away with each passing second. How do you react? What do you do? --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! http://i.imgur.com/yPw05Ob.png <cite>UnfairRepresent posted [p:968487731] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>You're walking along one day in the middle of no where with your young sonWhen suddenly before you could spell your name a gigantic bear comes charging from out of sight and barrels right into you with authority, sending you flying ass over teakettle and landing awkwardly on your side, crushing your phone so badly it breaks.You try to get you BEARings when it smacks you with a big bear paw, hurting like hell and pressing your face into the dirt. You're bracing yourself for a mauling but it never comes, you look up to see the bear has instead grabbed your son in its mouth and started to run away."Help me! DAAAAAAAD HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLP!" you hear your struggling son screech helplessly as the bear runs off carrying him like a trophy, out of sight and into the wilderness.https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/3/8/AAZiH8AADqe2.jpgThere is no one around, your phone is busted and the bear is getting further away with each passing second.How do you react?What do you do?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Touch 10/04/22 3:52:42 PM #2:	I make three bowls of porridge and take back my son while the bear is distracted trying to see which porridge is just right but really there's c4 in one of them --- Did anything ever really count Or was I just a two year practice round? <cite>Touch posted [p:968487786] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>I make three bowls of porridge and take back my son while the bear is distracted trying to see which porridge is just right but really there's c4 in one of them</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
ZevLoveDOOM 10/04/22 3:54:23 PM #3:	i prepare a picnic basket to him and offer in exchange for my son. otherwise i'm going Leo DiCaprio on his ass!! <cite>ZevLoveDOOM posted [p:968487820] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>i prepare a picnic basket to him and offer in exchange for my son.otherwise i'm going Leo DiCaprio on his ass!!</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Priere 10/04/22 3:56:01 PM #4:	Cancel him on twitter by bringing up off color comments he made against beavers. --- https://imgur.com/iQep35u https://i.imgur.com/PmX8smn.gif https://i.imgur.com/mwTy0iF.gif https://i.imgur.com/FCER80e.gif <cite>Priere posted [p:968487861] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>Cancel him on twitter by bringing up off color comments he made against beavers.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Shotgunnova 10/04/22 3:56:58 PM #5:	I climb a nearby telephone pole and use the rotary to call Clete, noted tracker and bear thwarter. I just hope he's interested in bears that don't (as far as I know) communicate in perfect English. --- Take me down from the ridge where the summer ends And watch the city spread out just like a jet's flame <cite>Shotgunnova posted [p:968487885] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>I climb a nearby telephone pole and use the rotary to call Clete, noted tracker and bear thwarter. I just hope he's interested in bears that don't (as far as I know) communicate in perfect English.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Gobstoppers12 10/04/22 3:58:22 PM #6:	Shrug and go home. I woke up this morning without a son, I'll go to bed tonight without a son. --- I write Naruto Fanfiction. But I am definitely not a furry. <cite>Gobstoppers12 posted [p:968487922] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>Shrug and go home. I woke up this morning without a son, I'll go to bed tonight without a son. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Ratchetrockon 10/04/22 3:59:34 PM #7:	Id call the cops Oh wait I forgot the phone broke --- I'm a Taurus I like collecting headphones and iems. My fave game of all time is DMC 3 SE on PC w/ style switch mod. IMO it the best button masher on earth <cite>Ratchetrockon posted [p:968487957] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>Id call the copsOh wait I forgot the phone broke</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
UnfairRepresent 10/04/22 4:04:32 PM #8:	Ratchetrockon posted... Id call the cops Oh wait I forgot the phone broke I mean I guess you could try calling them literally by shouting very loudly. Probably won't work tho --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! http://i.imgur.com/yPw05Ob.png <cite>UnfairRepresent posted [p:968488070] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>Ratchetrockon posted... </cite><quote>Id call the copsOh wait I forgot the phone broke</quote>I mean I guess you could try calling them literally by shouting very loudly.Probably won't work tho</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
BloodMoon7 10/04/22 4:05:58 PM #9:	I thank the bear, now I didn't want kids anyway. --- My maid will hear about this. <cite>BloodMoon7 posted [p:968488114] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>I thank the bear, now I didn't want kids anyway.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Were_Wyrm 10/04/22 4:09:04 PM #10:	Stab the bear in the face with a soldering iron and head home with my son --- I was a God, Valeria. I found it...beneath me. - Dr. Doom https://i.imgur.com/0EJvC4l.jpg <cite>Were_Wyrm posted [p:968488203] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>Stab the bear in the face with a soldering iron and head home with my son</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
UnfairRepresent 10/04/22 5:02:24 PM #11:	Shotgunnova posted... I climb a nearby telephone pole and use the rotary to call Clete, noted tracker and bear thwarter. I just hope he's interested in bears that don't (as far as I know) communicate in perfect English. Who the fuck is Clete? --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! http://i.imgur.com/yPw05Ob.png <cite>UnfairRepresent posted [p:968489528] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>Shotgunnova posted... </cite><quote>I climb a nearby telephone pole and use the rotary to call Clete, noted tracker and bear thwarter. I just hope he's interested in bears that don't (as far as I know) communicate in perfect English.</quote>Who the fuck is Clete?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
DCinGA 10/04/22 5:02:37 PM #12:	Kidnap? Nah, your son is dead or Bare-ly alive (knee slap) Seriously, I'd do the porridge one. I've read somewhere that works on bears <cite>DCinGA posted [p:968489533] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>Kidnap? Nah, your son is dead or Bare-ly alive (knee slap)Seriously, I'd do the porridge one. I've read somewhere that works on bears</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
UnfairRepresent 10/05/22 4:25:25 AM #13:	DCinGA posted... Kidnap? Nah, your son is dead or Bare-ly alive (knee slap) Seriously, I'd do the porridge one. I've read somewhere that works on bears I imagine motherfucking C4 works on most animals. --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! http://i.imgur.com/yPw05Ob.png <cite>UnfairRepresent posted [p:968500453] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>DCinGA posted... </cite><quote>Kidnap? Nah, your son is dead or Bare-ly alive (knee slap)Seriously, I'd do the porridge one. I've read somewhere that works on bears</quote>I imagine motherfucking C4 works on most animals.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
VampireCoyote 10/05/22 4:32:29 AM #14:	Defeat the bear using my knowledge of bear anatomy to perform rapid, pinpoint strikes to disrupt its nerves and disorient the mightful beast --- She/her <cite>VampireCoyote posted [p:968500501] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>Defeat the bear using my knowledge of bear anatomy to perform rapid, pinpoint strikes to disrupt its nerves and disorient the mightful beast</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Gobstoppers12 10/05/22 4:33:21 AM #15:	VampireCoyote posted... Defeat the bear using my knowledge of bear anatomy to perform rapid, pinpoint strikes to disrupt its nerves and disorient the mightful beast Roll a d20 for bear knowledge. --- I write Naruto Fanfiction. But I am definitely not a furry. <cite>Gobstoppers12 posted [p:968500508] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>VampireCoyote posted... </cite><quote>Defeat the bear using my knowledge of bear anatomy to perform rapid, pinpoint strikes to disrupt its nerves and disorient the mightful beast</quote>Roll a d20 for bear knowledge. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
008Zulu 10/05/22 4:41:30 AM #16:	Training montage. Then recite a memorized monologue at it, before beating it up with nothing more than the power of love. --- If you're not smart enough to survive, you are basically just food for something smarter. <cite>008Zulu posted [p:968500554] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>Training montage. Then recite a memorized monologue at it, before beating it up with nothing more than the power of love.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
UnfairRepresent 10/05/22 8:24:35 AM #17:	VampireCoyote posted... Defeat the bear using my knowledge of bear anatomy to perform rapid, pinpoint strikes to disrupt its nerves and disorient the mightful beast Someone's been playing Witcher --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! http://i.imgur.com/yPw05Ob.png <cite>UnfairRepresent posted [p:968502269] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>VampireCoyote posted... </cite><quote>Defeat the bear using my knowledge of bear anatomy to perform rapid, pinpoint strikes to disrupt its nerves and disorient the mightful beast</quote>Someone's been playing Witcher</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
MabusIncarnate 10/05/22 8:27:26 AM #18:	Sounds selfish, but it's basically 1 dead or 2 dead if you try to rescue the kid. Not gonna pretend I can fight a bear and win, running at it and trying is suicide. --- I feel sorry for the earth's population, 'cause so few live in the U.S.A. At least the foreigners can copy our morality, they can visit but they cannot stay. <cite>MabusIncarnate posted [p:968502305] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>Sounds selfish, but it's basically 1 dead or 2 dead if you try to rescue the kid. Not gonna pretend I can fight a bear and win, running at it and trying is suicide. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
rexcrk 10/05/22 8:43:41 AM #19:	So do you make up these or do you get them from some book or something? --- Fifty years from now when you're looking back on your life, don't you want to say you had the guts to get in the car? <cite>rexcrk posted [p:968502504] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>So do you make up these or do you get them from some book or something?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
UnfairRepresent 10/05/22 3:12:32 PM #20:	MabusIncarnate posted... Sounds selfish, but it's basically 1 dead or 2 dead if you try to rescue the kid. Not gonna pretend I can fight a bear and win, running at it and trying is suicide. so what would you do? --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! http://i.imgur.com/yPw05Ob.png <cite>UnfairRepresent posted [p:968509945] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>MabusIncarnate posted... </cite><quote>Sounds selfish, but it's basically 1 dead or 2 dead if you try to rescue the kid. Not gonna pretend I can fight a bear and win, running at it and trying is suicide.</quote>so what would you do?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
uwnim 10/05/22 3:17:21 PM #21:	I head back home. If I run into someone Ill tell them about it so they can call an emergency number, otherwise I call when I get home. Nothing I can do about a bear that already showed how easily it can defeat me. --- I want a pet Lavos Spawn. [Order of the Cetaceans: Phocoena dioptrica] <cite>uwnim posted [p:968510058] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>I head back home. If I run into someone Ill tell them about it so they can call an emergency number, otherwise I call when I get home. Nothing I can do about a bear that already showed how easily it can defeat me.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
UnfairRepresent 10/08/22 6:05:46 AM #22:	uwnim posted... Nothing I can do about a bear that already showed how easily it can defeat me. Well it did catch you off guard --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! http://i.imgur.com/yPw05Ob.png <cite>UnfairRepresent posted [p:968570357] in Hypothetic... [t:80187394]...</cite> <quote>uwnim posted... </cite><quote>Nothing I can do about a bear that already showed how easily it can defeat me.</quote>Well it did catch you off guard</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > Hypothetical: A massive bear kidnaps your son. (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > Hypothetical: A massive bear kidnaps your son.