Current Events > Another emotional breakdown at work, yay

(+) Yeah! (+)

I've been pregnant for 4 months and my INTJ ass can't handle these mood swings and feelings of femininity. It's really making my gender dysphoria out of control - I eventually came to accept that I could basically live like a male even if I didn't have surgery or pills but this pregnancy sure is a thing I underestimated.

FML

Oh hey I'm crying right now fuck me what the fuck is going on

Yeah, I imagine pregnancy is really kicking hormones into overdrive.

it's ok to be both man and woman. that's how i see myself.

You got this. You're strong. We believe in you.

Those maternity clothes make me so mad. Legitimately mad. I'm angry that I have to wear them.

I used to wear a chest binder but now I can't because all this progesterone and prolactin is surging through my system.

::Gives you a BIG HUG::

You'll be fine, in the end, you'll have a child that you love for the rest of your life.

Kamen_Rider_Blade posted...

::Gives you a BIG HUG::

You'll be fine, in the end, you'll have a child that you love for the rest of your life.

Its not hers
It's for her best friend
i forgot what its called off the top of my head

No it's mine and my wife's. My best friend was the donor. It was and still is awkward af.

coolpal23 posted...

Its not hers
It's for her best friend
i forgot what its called off the top of my head

No, you have it backwards. She and her wife wanted a baby. IVF wasn't working so she had her best friend help.

Edit: Ninja'd by TC lol

Honestly, he's the only one I was even comfortable with. I spent nearly every day of my childhood with him - from the moment we met at the school sandbox in kindergarten. We swapped SNES and Genesis consoles/games. He bought a PSOne and I got a N64. He got a Gamecube and I got an Xbox. It was like that for 15+ years.

So yeah it's weird but I'm glad it's him.

I'm really sorry, Roast. I've heard how hard it can be, I hope it'll get better for you.

Leanaunfurled posted...

I'm really sorry, Roast. I've heard how hard it can be, I hope it'll get better for you.

You getting Childe will make me a lot happier.

Would you want a 2nd child, or maybe have your wife give birth to a child?

Hopefully your emotions settle down sooner rather than later TC. I know pregnancy hits every woman a little differently.

Kamen_Rider_Blade posted...

Would you want a 2nd child, or maybe have your wife give birth to a child?

My wife is too thin and she also is a very strict lesbian, to the point where she won't even allow IVF.

Me being bisexual and having wider hips made it a much easier and safer choice.

And fuck no I'm not doing this again.

Whoops my bad, I misremembered sorry

DarkRoast posted...

You getting Childe will make me a lot happier.

I'll do what I can! One more week.

Do you have any names planned for the baby?

I don't know yet. I'm going to discuss names with my best friend. It'll be his child too, even though he won't be the primary caretaker.

If it's a girl I like the name Jade - since I'm half Chinese it has a special meaning to me

What about the kid's last name?

Are you going to Hyphenate the last name?

Who's last name will your child take?

• Your own Last Name by itself?
• You & Your Wife?
• You & Your Bestie?
• All three combined with double hyphens?
• A original newly created Last Name?

My wife is going to take on the maternal role and I'm going to be the father role. Which is going to make breastfeeding pretty awkward ngl.

And it's gonna be my last name

DarkRoast posted...

My wife is going to take on the maternal role and I'm going to be the father role. Which is going to make breastfeeding pretty awkward ngl.

And it's gonna be my last name

Why can't both of you have the Maternal role and your bestie have the father role?

Because I don't feel comfortable identifying as a mother / female

Imagine if you had to wear a dress and act feminine in public. That's how I feel.

Don't answer if the question is uncomfortable or incentive, but how would you define a mother and father role as?

emblem-man posted...

Don't answer if the question is uncomfortable or incentive, but how would you define a mother and father role as?

feminine versus masculine mannerisms, that sort of thing

if the world were just a LITTLE different... it's not too hard to imagine birthing a child as being manly af

DarkRoast posted...

Because I don't feel comfortable identifying as a mother / female

Imagine if you had to wear a dress and act feminine in public. That's how I feel.

IC

:( sorry you're finding out first hand that reproduction is horrible. Like, did you know that for the first few weeks the amniotic fluids mostly come from the pregnant person but after that it's mostly the baby's own urine?

gunplagirl posted...

:( sorry you're finding out first hand that reproduction is horrible. Like, did you know that for the first few weeks the amniotic fluids mostly come from the pregnant person but after that it's mostly the baby's own urine?

Yeah I went to medical school

If one of the lesbian homies told me they wanted to have a baby with my genes then I would be like "fuck yeah I'll give you a nut"

But then they were like "nah, bro we fucking" idk be like idk bro I gotta think about it. Kudos to your boy.

Just think, one day you'll be able to teach your child to play with Childe!

...I just got home and broke down in tears again.

Fml

I need to call the on-call psychiatrist wtf

I literally threw this maternity dress in the trash fuck this shit I'll just wear scrubs instead

Thanks guys

I'm still a guy inside no matter what this shit does to my body. You guys have always treated me like a guy and not a CEgal and it's always given me a sense of belonging I don't get in real life.

Only read your original post, but I'm sorry to hear that. Hope things improve sooner rather than later.

A woman I worked with had those wild mood swings when she got pregnant. One minute we'd be laughing. The next she'd be crying. Then enraged because she was crying. It was so fucking hot.

I don't want to be hot and I don't want to be female. I was born a guy on the inside and this stupid fucking world never gave me a chance until it was too late

DarkRoast posted...

I'm still a guy inside no matter what this shit does to my body. You guys have always treated me like a guy and not a CEgal and it's always given me a sense of belonging I don't get in real life.

We're here for you fam =D

Bruh give me the fucking dress I'd wear the shit.

Do a whole strip show for CE too.

watching the crypto and elon/twitter meltdown is always a good way to cheer up

Here's something random / non-related to lift your spirits.

AMD EPYC Genoa Gaps Intel Xeon in Stunning Fashion
https://www.servethehome.com/amd-epyc-genoa-gaps-intel-xeon-in-stunning-fashion/

AMD Just "GAPPED" Intel with the brand new EPYC 9004 launch.
There's a new term for how behind the Enterprise side of the CPU business Intel is.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/2/7/AAAFvAAAD3zz.jpg
Also, Intel just hit 0% Profit margin last Quarter for it's Data Center division.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/8/0/AAAFvAAADkPg.jpg
AMD has rose like a Phoenix and came back in the Server/Enterprise market from 0.5% in 2016 to 22.7% in 6 Years.
ARM came back from 0.1% in 2016 to 7.1% in 6 years from 2016.

Intel went from a dominating 98.6% Market Share control to 69.5% and falling.

Hopefully we get to see Intel bleed long enough that they'll be so financially bankrupt that they have to sell their Foundary Business and spend a decade or two rebuilding itself into a "Chip Design" only business.

They deserve that after the BS Illegal Anti-Trust crimes they commited back in the day that nearly killed AMD.

Karma is gonna bite Intel in the arse.

I'm sorry this is so rough for you. I can't even imagine how it feels. You'll get through it, though, and I'm sure happier days are ahead in the future.

Im so sorry youre going through this. I obviously cant relate to the kind of feelings that youre processing but I can sympathize. Pregnancy hormones can dredge up bottled feelings. In my case it was my abusive upbringing and it hit hardest after birth. I cried nonstop.

All I can suggest is to let the feelings all out. Dont bottle them. Cry as much and as hard as you need to. You need to process these emotions that youve buried. I know I felt so much better after and I feel like I was really able to let go of a lot of hurt that I held on to without realizing.

At the end of the day, whether you identify as male or not you are more than your gender or your body parts. You are a wonderful person and youre bringing a life to the world. That is an amazing and incredible thing. Your body is simply a vessel in the end.

Cleo thank you so much. I had no idea what I was getting into. It's too much to handle alone.

These are old memories that I thought I'd conquered. I was satisfied with my lifestyle. But all these emotions, feelings and stuff. It's crazy.

I spent 20 years of my life hating myself for not being the girl my parents wanted me to be. It hurts so much.

I hope I go back to normal after I give birth. Being forced into the wrong gender for nine months has been humiliating and emotional and way beyond what I expected