Poll of the Day > Itt:monkey paw the above wish

(+) Yeah! (+)

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, AND I dont want any zombie turkeys, I dont want to turn into a turkey myself, and I dont want any other weird surprises. You got it?

Ogurisama posted...

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, AND I dont want any zombie turkeys, I dont want to turn into a turkey myself, and I dont want any other weird surprises. You got it?

the turkey is a little dry

Plus, the mustard is expired.

I wish for peace, prosperity and free health care for all.

Firewood18 posted...

Plus, the mustard is expired.

I wish for peace, prosperity and free health care for all.

Granted, but only because everyone is dead and therefore no longer fights, wants for anything, or has to spend anything on health care.

I wish for a cookie.

Granted, but the cookie is stale

I wish for a new coat

Ogurisama posted...

I wish for a new coat

Granted but the coat is made of porcupine quills.

I wish for the entire SNES library factory sealed complete with boxes.

Dmess85 posted...

Granted but the coat is made of porcupine quills.

I wish for the entire SNES library factory sealed complete with boxes.

All of the games are in Spanish.

I wish for the Simpsons to be rich and famous.

You get the entire SNES library but the Earthbound scratch and sniff corroded all the cartridges making them unplayable.

I wish for self driving electric vehicle.

Firewood18 posted...

You get the entire SNES library but the Earthbound scratch and sniff corroded all the cartridges making them unplayable.

I wish for self driving electric vehicle.

Granted, but its a defective Tesla that will catch fire once its turned on

GameLord113 posted...

All of the games are in Spanish.

I wish for the Simpsons to be rich and famous.

Granted, but everyone hates them.

I wish a black hole will consume the earth

Ogurisama posted...

I wish a black hole will consume the earth

it does, but everything comes out exactly the same on the other side except everyone is inside out and nobody can control their bowels

i wish my sister was still alive

Nade_Duck posted...

i wish my sister was still alive

damn thats dark but ok.
So shes back alive and well but shes dating dirtbasedsoap and you never get to see her.

I wish for partial memory erasure so I can enjoy all childhood games for the first time again.

Firewood18 posted...

damn thats dark but ok.
So shes back alive and well but shes dating dirtbasedsoap and you never get to see her.

I wish for partial memory erasure so I can enjoy all childhood games for the first time again.

Granted, but you also lose all important memories are gone, and only bad ones remain.

I wish for another season of Simpsons

Granted but it's the worst season ever

I wish for Halloween all year round

Granted, but there are rotten pumpkins everywhere.

I wish all glaciers are restored to their 1500AD levels

Ogurisama posted...

I wish all glaciers are restored to their 1500AD levels

granted but all geological features revert to that timeframe causing the collapse of most foundations and infrastructure.

I wish for nachos. Extra cheese and no jalapeos.

Firewood18 posted...

granted but all geological features revert to that timeframe causing the collapse of most foundations and infrastructure.

I wish for nachos. Extra cheese and no jalapeos.

Granted: its Casu martzu cheese and ghost peppers.

I wish for mashed potatoes and gravy.

Granted, but they are boxed mash potatoes and canned gravy.

I wish that every living creature gain the ability and knowledge of the ability and how to use it, to cease to exist in all ways and forms, at will, permanently.

wolfy42 posted...

Granted, but they are boxed mash potatoes and canned gravy.

I wish that every living creature gain the ability and knowledge of the ability and how to use it, to cease to exist in all ways and forms, at will, permanently.

Granted, but all life in the universe disappears at the same time using this new found knowledge

I wish for a wallet with unlimited cash

Granted, but the day after society has officially moved away from cash and become completely cashless.

I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine.

I wish for world peace

JigsawTDCII posted...

I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine.

Granted.

JOExHIGASHI posted...

I wish for world peace

Also granted.

SoreChasm posted...

Also granted.

You're supposed to add some sort of negative side effect. Like world peace makes us non violent and therefore susceptible alien invasion

JOExHIGASHI posted...

You're supposed to add some sort of negative side effect. Like world peace makes us non violent and therefore susceptible alien invasion

and youre supposed to do the same to the wish above yours and not skip it, jerk. so much for world peace

JigsawTDCII posted...

Granted, but the day after society has officially moved away from cash and become completely cashless.

I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine.

Granted, but the Pizza dough is still raw, and the wine had a rotten cork ruining it

I wish I to meet Inanimate carbon rod

JigsawTDCII posted...

and youre supposed to do the same to the wish above yours and not skip it, jerk. so much for world peace

I didn't insult SoreChasm so I'm not sure what your problem is

JOExHIGASHI posted...

I didn't insult SoreChasm so I'm not sure what your problem is

His problem is you didnt corrupt his wish!

JOExHIGASHI posted...

You're supposed to add some sort of negative side effect. Like world peace makes us non violent and therefore susceptible alien invasion

Granted.

SoreChasm posted...

His problem is you didnt corrupt his wish!

If he's that upset about it I'll do it now

JigsawTDCII posted...

I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine.

Granted but the pizza is the school lunch pizza and the wine is expired

Ogurisama posted...

Granted, but the Pizza dough is still raw, and the wine had a rotten cork ruining it

I wish I to meet Inanimate carbon rod

Granted

but you're meeting Inanimate carbon rod along with many other fans so you have no time to say anything or get close to it

I wish I had a dental plan

JOExHIGASHI posted...

If he's that upset about it I'll do it now

Granted but the pizza is the school lunch pizza and the wine is expired

Granted

but you're meeting Inanimate carbon rod along with many other fans so you have no time to say anything or get close to it

I wish I had a dental plan

Granted, but it only covers adult teeth in utero.

I wish I wasnt hungry.

Granted. You no longer are hungry for anything, enjoy anything, want anything, and nothing satisfies you.

I wish they would make a squirrel girl movie.

Granted and the movie is amazing but due to it's success, every piece of media released from here on out is a squirrel girl related.

I wish I could think of a wish to make.

trodi_911 posted...

Granted and the movie is amazing but due to it's success, every piece of media released from here on out is a squirrel girl related.

I thought there was supposed to be a negative consequence.

trodi_911 posted...

I wish I could think of a wish to make.

granted, but now you can only think about wishes.

I wish I had a pudding can.

Granted, but it is empty

I want boobs.

Granted but they're fake.

I wish I had the ability to teleport.

Granted, but you cant choose the destination, or when you teleport

I wish I never had to sleep

Granted but the simpsons show never existed.

I wish brownies taste exactly the same but are the healthiest food you can eat.

wolfy42 posted...

Granted but the simpsons show never existed.

I wish brownies taste exactly the same but are the healthiest food you can eat.

Granted but they're now the rarest as well

I wish my job was as easy as Homer's

granted but they now pay you in fart jars

i wish i had no arms or legs

DirtBasedSoap posted...

granted but they now pay you in fart jars

i wish i had no arms or legs

Granted, but you also gain knowledge of the truth, allowing you to do clap alchemy

I wish I had every LEGO set, complete in box, in perfect condition for free.

Granted, but you wont know where theyll be.

I wish I had a side of delicious gravy to go with my biscuits.

KJ_StErOiDs posted...

Granted, but you wont know where theyll be.

I wish I had a side of delicious gravy to go with my biscuits.

Granted but your biscuits are now rock hard and highly irradiated. (they also glow slightly green).

I wish the monkey paw never existed and no other monkey paw like item replaces it and makes all the wishes made on the monkey paw still come true.

wolfy42 posted...

I wish the monkey paw never existed and no other monkey paw like item replaces it and makes all the wishes made on the monkey paw still come true.

Granted but now everyone is happy with their wishes due to just not noticing the unexpected downsides. Also a race Djinn has taken over the earth since no one is wise to their trickery either and just think of them as generous people.

I wish the women I failed at having at a romantic relationship with are happy and healthy despite things not working out between us.

Granted. They've become happy, healthy KARENS!

I wish that several geographic locations were magically teleported right next to each other, so I could easily visit my wife, family and childhood friends without having to travel for hours at a time, and spend big $$$.

JCvgluvr posted...

Granted. They've become happy, healthy KARENS!

I wish that several geographic locations were magically teleported right next to each other, so I could easily visit my wife, family and childhood friends without having to travel for hours at a time, and spend big $$$.

yeah sure granted, but this sort of geographic upheaval causes massive damage to ecosystems, weather systems, etc. creating a drastic increase in climate change and ocean acidification. The homogenization in climate and the relative ease that most animals have in traversing what was once vast distances leads to a catastrophic decrease of biodiversity which in turn leads to a critical collapse of sustainable life as we know.

enjoy the week youve got left with your loved ones; at least youre all near each other.

I wish I had a hyperbolic time chamber but it didnt have the effect of aging me when I went in there to catch up on work and media and working out

Granted, but due to budget constraints its implementation is delayed until 2122

i wish for perfect physical and mental health and lack of death for the next 100 years of my life

What_The_Chris posted...

Granted, but due to budget constraints its implementation is delayed until 2122

i wish for perfect physical and mental health and lack of death for the next 100 years of my life

Granted but you're incased in stone 1000 feet below the earth for the entire time.

I wish the next president of the United States would be a really hot chick.

Granted, but her VP is dangerously grotesque.

I wish for the price of crypto to jump to record new highs.

KJ_StErOiDs posted...

I wish for the price of crypto to jump to record new highs.

granted but it destabilizes the worlds economy spiraling every country into the third World War.

I wish I had instant teleportation powers and could conceivably warp to any place in the universe I desired