Poll of the Day > In the lead up to my move: Things my Housemates have done/said

(+) Yeah! (+)

1) one time, I found housemate 1s gfs period blood under the toilet seat while cleaning. I told him about this, while cleaning it. He told me Oh [girlfriend] just wants to spend SO much time with me here :( and then just walked away

2) I left behind some tide pods next to the laundry when I went in a trip, with the expectation that my housemates would just use them. Coming back, I found a bunch of sticky, empty baggies just sitting on the water heater next to the washer/dryer along with a razor blade. Didnt really question it until I saw Housemate 2 slicing the pods open. When I asked him what he was doing, he went These things are SO stupid! The liberals! They make things like thing to reduce the plastic in the ocean, but what am I supposed to do with THIS! (Gestures to the pile of empty pod bags). And also, the bag is just plastic!!! Liberals dont THINK when they make things like this. They just want money from STUPID people

I told him you just throw the entire pod in the washer

How was I supposed to know that?! Nobody knows this! It makes NO sense to throw plastic in the washing machine

I told him to just read the instructions and he said no

3) Housemate 2, before getting his gf, would routinely go on Twitter, look up vegan shit, and then when his algorithm changes to almost exclusively showing people making their meals, would go into womens DMs (and it was only women) and tell them that they were idiots and also he was going to cook a steak just to spite them (he doesnt cook anything more complex than boiled eggs in a slice of bread)

4) Came back from a long trip, like close to 30 days, and when I came back, the house, specifically the bathroom I share with Housemate 1, was a mess. I cleaned it, then gave 1 shit about it while his gf was there and he scrambled to get a bucket and fill it with water to mop. Then he told me I dont know how it got that bad I cleaned it 4 days ago When I told him that definitely wasnt the case because the bathroom never got that bad even when I was there and didnt clean for 2 weeks, he looked around the room all confused and went What the fuck???? But but [girlfriend] you know I cleaned. What the hell?!?!

5) Housemate 1 joined in on a small gathering I had with friends. Are the food we brought too. Not a problem, we had a grand old time, really not a big thing at all, and I try not to keep score on stuff like this. Fast forward weeks later, Housemate 1 has a DND party at the house. He had previously told Housemate 1 and I that he was totally planning a campaign for us. Like months before. Doesnt allow Housemate 1 and I to join in because it doesnt make sense. Whatever, its not my game so its not like I have much of a horse in this race, but then he invites his entire party to use my bathroom instead of the little one downstairs, and theyre all messy, smelly nerds who dont give a shit. The next day I tell him that barring me from playing the game is one thing, but letting 12 people exclusively use my bathroom that he does not clean is supremely screwed up, especially because he wont even take 4 minutes to pick up a vacuum to clean up his girlfriends hair (nice girl, but I think she pulls the hair out of her comb to hide it around places and leave her mark so other women know he has a gf) he signs and tells me Im sorry its just my job is really hard right now (stocker at a grocery story) and also, Im $1000 dollars in debt :( and then just left the conversation at that!

Additionally, that campaign he planned for us was like a 1 hour session, where none of his friends were in for, and then he ended it randomly and never played with us ever again. But still found time and energy to invite his friends over half a dozen more times.

move out in less than a week

Well this certainly makes me feel like I have my shit way more together than I give myself credit for

I think I heard about #1 before.

#1 I wouldn't care about. everything else, sounds like a useless chode.

#1 is probably my second favorite story to tell, other than the tide pod thing

PK_Spam posted...

#1 is probably my second favorite story to tell, other than the tide pod thing

I'd suggest the Tide Pod story as the better story, personally.

not understand how tide pods work is a somewhat excusable ignorance but a woman not cleaning up after her menstruation is just disgusting

My college suitemate would 'finish' in all of his socks then leave them around the dorm

ReturnOfFa posted...

I'd suggest the Tide Pod story as the better story, ppersonally.

His post says he prefers the Tide Pod story to the period blood one

#6: Housemate 1s gf really is a sweet girl, but she absolutely enables the hell out of him. The man isnt really the type to, like, sleep. Just like to sit in his bed and stare at his phone for 10 straight hours or play games at night.

GF is like [Housemate 1], you need to sleep :(. Youre going to get sick. Youll get heart problems if you dont.

Within the month, the guy is leaving work early (and getting his gf to drive him back) because hes getting heart attacks at work, and theyre bad enough that he needs to leave work after 3 hours, but not so bad that he has to go to the hospital.

And now when shes around, he cant find the energy to go upstairs to his room, but when shes not here, Ill wake up at 3 AM and here him cheering at the top of his lungs from his room as he continues to play cod. Additionally. He REALLY plays up the fact that he has to eat healthy when shes around, but hell down an entire pint of Ben and Jerrys (hes lactose intolerant) the moment shes out the door. Then says that talking a walk around the community in the evening is too much for him, and the doctor said hes not allowed ANY exercise, even walking, and that he can only stay inside.

The guy works like 12 hours a week and his gf texted me a few weeks ago to ask for Housemate 2s number for a reason she couldnt state, which I assume is because shes paying his rent, as 2 is the one who handles all that (hes the only one on the lease). Housemate 1 has told me hes borrowed a lot of money from her, and he even got some really good seats at the Taylor Swift concert a few weeks ago.

coming off as a fat fucking rat

potdnewb posted...

not understand how tide pods work is a somewhat excusable ignorance but a woman not cleaning up after her menstruation is just disgusting

This was close to a year ago, and I havent seen it since. Neither of them clean ever, but I havent found any blood, so at least that encounter seems to have stuck

7) Like I said earlier, Housemate 2 is the only one on the lease, so hes the only one who can call the property manager when things get fucked.

Im a little ignorant on the specifics here, but I believe something was wrong with the AC, and water was leaking through the ceiling into the first floor. I was on a work trip, so Housemate 2 set up a bucket to collect the water. I come back like 2 days after the fact, ask whats going on, and Housemate 2 says its not a big deal since we were already all gearing up to leave in 3 months (this was in April). I told him, no, you dont want to fuck with water damage, but he seemed unbothered until I let the bucket overfill and his gf fell on her ass. It got fixed a month after it first appeared and the guy had no inclination to fix it until it affected his girl. But the story doesnt end there.

Our washer/dryer went down in May. Again, I was on a work trip and when I came back I was informed what happened. From what Housemate 2 told me, it was my understanding that this was a recent issue, like maybe 2 or 3 days.

Fast forward to the next day and Housemate 1 is telling me hes been washing his clothes in our shower, and had been doing that for a while. Keep in mind that we have a standup shower, not a tub.

Housemate 2 was there. So I talked to him about it and that he misled me about how long this had been doing on, because I had been gone for close to 2 weeks. The washer dryer was down basically the entire time.

Me: Hey, you didnt tell me this had been going on since I left. You made it seem like it just happened. You went 2 weeks without contacting the property manager?

Him: Yeah, its not a big deal. I can wash my clothes at my brothers house

Me: well what am I supposed to do?

him: is it really that hard for you to go to do your laundry outside?

me: no its not, but Im not paying $700 to live in a house without a washer dryer because you can do yours without a problem. [Housemate 1] has been washing his clothes in my shower this entire time.

him: Oh. I didnt know that.

It still took an additional 3 weeks to get that washer/dryer replaced.

8) This one was like maybe 2 years ago

Housemate 1 woke up one morning and started telling us he was Jewish now. Like, not as a joke, he would get indignant about Palestine shit, and when I would tell him that its weird he was suddenly getting personally victimized about it, he kept saying Im JEWISH!!!!

the man has never gone to a synagogue, never picked up the Torah, and likely got all of his information about being Jewish from YouTube videos. If you ask him if he can read Hebrew, he says yes, but hell never speak it or demonstrate that he can read it if you show him text. The story has been Im trying to learn but every time I try to sit down and learn, my computer acts up, or I get sick :(

SilentSeph posted...

My college suitemate would 'finish' in all of his socks then leave them around the dorm

His post says he prefers the Tide Pod story to the period blood one

thanks. words!!!!

9) this was like a week ago, and it wasnt really that big a deal, but it did bug me.

I think Im on good terms with Housemate 2s brother and sister, who both visit pretty often. And they seem to be reasonable people from what Ive seen the last 4 years.

Apparently Housemate 2s car battery went kaput. The man REFUSES to chat with our neighbors, and gets skeeved out when I tell him I know the people who have lived around us the last 4 years because he seems to think theyre gonna go and tell the property manager that Im not on the lease and get him evicted? Either way, he had no contacts at all to help him with this battery thing, so he called his siblings over. I was home as well, working from my laptop and listening to a meeting, so I wasnt aware of any of this happening.

The three people spent like $70 on jumper cables because none of them had any available. Once my meeting was over and I chatted with them about it and told them that I couldve just let them borrow mine, because I have them in a toolbox in the closet. Like if you open the closet door in the kitchen youll see it!

I apologized out of courtesy since I was busy with the meeting to even know anything was going on, but they shouldve just knocked on my door and I wouldve pointed them at where to find it.

Housemate 2 went Oh, look at me! Im in a meeting! Im so important! Im in a meeting!

I can take a riff, so it was whatever, but then they left and him and gf were lounging around the living room, and he was STILL doing it.

I didnt argue or anything. Was just funny because he knows I have all sorts of tools (or maybe he doesnt, because he wont even put 2+2 together when he sees me leaving the house with my luggage for a trip and thinks Im still around, and doesnt even know what my car is even though I park it in front of the house every day!)

10) Was making some burgers for myself, and Housemate 2 saw me putting rosemary and breadcrumbs into the meat and honestly got confused and thought I was making bread inside the burger and told me how weird that was, because hes never heard of anyone doing that.

I tried explaining that it makes the burgers have a better mouthfeel and keeps a lot of moisture in, and all he could think was that hes never personally cooked beef that way.

All he does is throw a lump of ground beef on a stovetop, no oil, no spices, and then puts it on top of lettuce he tore apart with his hands, and eating it all just like that. With all the grease

11) this one was roughly a year ago, give or take. I went on another work trip (I do a lot of travel for work), and left with my toilets flush valve having a bit of a leak, so it was constantly draining a bit of water from the tank in the back, and maybe refilling itself once every few hours. Really not a big thing at all.

I came back after this 18 day trip and noticed that the bathroom door was closed shut with the fan on (housemate 1 NEVER leaves that on even after he blows up the bathroom) and initially assumed maybe someone was just using it. But hours later, it was still shut so I thought maybe he forgot to turn it off before leaving.

The toilet was barely holding water now, so a constant stream of water was constantly falling into the bowl from the tank, which at this point was maybe like 20% full.

I talked to Housemate 1 about this, and he played dumb, saying that he had no idea something was wrong, he said he thought it was ALWAYS like that, and that he wouldve fixed it if he knew there was a problem. But I asked him why he left the fan on, because it seemed like he was just masking the issue from Housemate 2 for some reason.

For the record, we dont pay utilities, because Housemate 2 loves to keep the AC on at full blast all day, and take hour long showers, and we dont pay internet because 2 wants high speed Internet for browsing Twitter shit. So for weeks and weeks, the toilet was draining gallons of water every hour and he really couldnt be bothered to let Housemate 2 know about it.

I decided to fix it myself because changing the flush valve really isnt that hard. Housemate 2 made fun of me the entire time, saying he didnt think Id be able to fix it (I worked in maintenance through part of college). Hes generally pretty dismissive of others (he got his degree in programming but just sells phones now) of others, but I believe he was specifically putting me down about this because of the whole gay thing.

And it wasnt like he would just walk down the hallway and poke his head in, he was standing right outside the door and telling me I was going to break the toilet when he saw me unscrewing the back tank from the bottom of the toilet. Like simple shit you could figure out with a YouTube video.

I had the toilet fixed in an hour of work once I had all the materials I needed.

It was funny when he freaked out once I brought out the sawzall, since the nut on the bottom of the tank wouldnt come off no matter what I did, so slicing it down the middle was the only option. He just about unplugged the thing from the wall while I was in the middle of cutting it off lmao

At least his girlfriend was impressed. Shes kinda cool.

Unscrewing the tank was funny because it had been so long, there was some decent mineral buildup on the screws (easily chiseled away) and he thought I was literally putting my screw driving through the metal of the bolts lol

you made meatloaf burgers real burgers only need salt and pepper

If you aren't at least adding garlic to your burgers, you're dead to me.

This makes some of my previous living situations seem like a godsend.

12) I believe this one was around February 2022? It was shortly after 1 and 2 got their GFs and basically moved them in.

We had a small gathering of a few friends each. Housemate 1s gf brought along her ex-roommate, a tiny little guy who was pretty obviously gay, but overall a nice guy.

Housemate 2 is just a weirdo. He basically hounded gay boy about the whole gay thing, going This just doesnt make any sense, because how is there a gay gene in people? Because its genetic, but how does it pass? Because if every human being was gay, wed go extinct! It just doesnt make any sense!

He played it off like he was just curious (and not doing a very good job) and little gay boy basically just nodded along, but Housemate 2 was definitely just trying to get one over on the little guy. Hes extremely weird about masculinity in men. Hes very vocal about the fact that hes never won a fight, ever, but I distinctly remember the time we watched the newest Mortal Kombat movie, and he seriously spent the entire time saying that the Asian men in that movie, the lean ones with no facial hair, looked like women and, additionally, no woman could ever be attracted to them, because women want manly men, and any that were into them were lesbians.

Star Wars also doesnt make sense because the lasers would move so fast you couldnt realistically see them, so obviously the VX team didnt know what they were doing.

13) During Covid, in Animal Crossing Mania, Housemate 2 got livid about the success of the game, telling me that it looked like shit and he couldve made that in 15 minutes.

I asked him why doesnt he do it then, since its so easy, and he gave me a story about how he spent 2 years doing work on some indie kart racer, but bailed out midway through. I asked him what the title of the game was, and he told me he couldnt remember.

me: You cant remember a game you spent 2 years of your life on?

him: No

and then went back to listening to Ben Shapiro

Fresh text

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/1/7/AAc2z0AAElqB.jpg

This drives me crazy because Housemate 1 and his GF wont even LOOK at 2 and his GF when they walk in, but hes always asking them to do shit for him.

14) The other month wasnt the first time weve had AC issues. At one point, and again, my understanding is incomplete because Housemate 2 straight up wont give information sometimes, but as I know it, there was an issue where the condensation from the AC unit wasnt draining properly, so it just straight up wouldnt turn on.

2 went to take care of it quickly, since this inconvenienced him. No problem there. The issue was that, months prior, the window in his room would repeatedly slip out of its frame and fall onto his dresser. Rather than get that fixed, he decided to just tape it all up with duct tape. And it wasnt like he did a proper job of it, it was like if Spider-Man shot webbing to hold it. Just really messy.

AC repairman fixes the issue, but Housemate 2s room is right next to the washer/dryer, and rather than keep it closed when hes out, he just leaves it right open. The repairman sees this, and justifiably contacts the property manager about this, who sends us a letter demanding that we take pictures of every room in the house so they can assess any damage thats taken place.

Housemate 2 freaks out and we take an entire day to get everything ready for pictures. My room is fine, since I actually vacuum it more than once a year, but Housemate 2 tells me and 1 that we have to move our beds out of our rooms because they cant know other people live here

I tell him Im not doing that. Theres no way Im deconstructing my bedframe to move everything out for a picture and then bringing everything back. I told him to just say my room was the guest room and leave it at that. I still clean up. Whatever.

But then I see him bringing boxes into my room, and telling me to strip my bedsheets. He tells me that apparently, at his parents house, their guest room is filled with boxes and nobody uses it. Ever. Im not letting him put dirty boxes onto my sheetless bed. He tells me thats weird because everyones guest rooms are like that. Theyre not.

He convinces Housemate 2 to just empty everything in his room and turn it into a computer room and then gets incensed because they only have one lamp to put in there.

Housemate 2: Do you think its going to look suspicious?

Housemate 1 and I: What?

Housemate 2: That we only have 1 lamp in here. Theyre going to think its suspicious that this room only has one lamp! Theyre gonna know Im lying!

Me: They probably already know youre lying. They just want to make sure every room isnt as trashed as yours.

Housemate 2: But its only 1 lamp in a whole room! Who only has one lamp!? If they find out other people live here, Im going to get evicted!!!

Me: On paper, you are a single guy renting a 3 bedroom house. Do you think they think you just have empty space here and rent these rooms for fun?

We did the picture thing, he fixed the windows, and we never heard from the property manager again.