Current Events > I'll come clean. I'm a transgender woman.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Steffenfield posted...

I honestly don't understand.

Your marriage seems to be soon dissolved and your family will probably become unstructured for quite some time.

Your two children will most likely need long therapy on how their biological father is now lesbian.

And you've spent most of today posting selfies and boob pics of yourself on a gaming website?

It's so odd.

You try coming out.

Steffenfield posted...

I honestly don't understand.

Your marriage seems to be soon dissolved and your family will probably become unstructured for quite some time.

Your two children will most likely need long therapy on how their biological father is now lesbian.

And you've spent most of today posting selfies and boob pics of yourself on a gaming website?

It's so odd.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/5/7/AAa0vfAAEthx.jpg

Steffenfield posted...

This seems mod worthy.

Also, I learned my lesson to not quote mod worthy things...

I hate it when people try to gaslight me into feeling bad / believing I'm selfish for transitioning. It's what my dad tried to do repeatedly, and no matter how many times I pleaded with him to listen, he didn't care.

Being transgender isn't a choice. The only choice you have is whether or not to transition.

DarkRoast posted...

I hate it when people try to gaslight me into feeling bad / believing I'm selfish for transitioning. It's what my dad tried to do repeatedly, and no matter how many times I pleaded with him to listen, he didn't care.

Being transgender isn't a choice. The only choice you have is whether or not to transition.

IME for most people that's not the choice. The choice is transition or die.

Tyranthraxus posted...

IME for most people that's not the choice. The choice is transition or die.

...that was true for me in December of last year. I'd rather not talk about that time, though. Darkest time of my life, by far.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I never really understood this language. It sounds pedantic to me. Sure, she was always a woman, but nobody else knew that until she transitioned.

And sex isn't "assigned" at birth. It just is.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]



There was a moment, near midnight. I was doing locums shifts at an outlying hospital. It was freezing rain outside. I had to find a private physician meeting room, close the door, and literally sit under the table and cry. And I cried for several hours. I had just come out to my best friend, who was supportive, but I told him I was too afraid to transition, because my family wouldn't understand.

hey congrats OP I hope you can live your best life as your best self going forwards :)

Its all too common for family members to try casting a negative light on transition and make it all about their transphobic feelings or hang ups.

Trans people deserve love and support, not judgement and scorn for existing.

Transition is not something harmful for the children. Whether or not they need therapy is not predicated on their parent being gay or trans, but navigating and processing their own feelings as necessary.

Trying to make trans people feel shame for being themselves is a terrible thing. We deserve to be happy and healthy, to flourish and blossom.

Congrats TC. I wish you luck in your new life.

KitKats posted...

Its all too common for family members to try casting a negative light on transition and make it all about their transphobic feelings or hang ups.

Trans people deserve love and support, not judgement and scorn for existing.

Transition is not something harmful for the children. Whether or not they need therapy is not predicated on their parent being gay or trans, but navigating and processing their own feelings as necessary.

Trying to make trans people feel shame for being themselves is a terrible thing. We deserve to be happy and healthy, to flourish and blossom.

I still don't present at home because I've internalized the shame that my dad threw at me. I shouldn't be ashamed of being who I am - especially since this is something I literally cannot change. I -am- transgender. It can't be "cured." It can only be accepted.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


I feel like I've done so much in the past half-year. I started HRT, laser hair removal, bought a lot of new women's clothing (but andro enough to pass as male with a guy shirt). I present almost every day. And when I present... it's just so wonderful. I want it to be all the time.

DarkRoast posted...

I hate it when people try to gaslight me into feeling bad / believing I'm selfish for transitioning. It's what my dad tried to do repeatedly, and no matter how many times I pleaded with him to listen, he didn't care.

Being transgender isn't a choice. The only choice you have is whether or not to transition.

If not clear, I do support you. Just because I didn't like the pregnancy lie, doesn't affect whether I support you.

bsp77 posted...

If not clear, I do support you. Just because I didn't like the pregnancy lie, doesn't affect whether I support you.

What I did was wrong, even if it was to "feel" like a woman. I don't have excuses for it, but I will say that I have chosen to live my truth instead of projecting it.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Next season of CE is gonna be trash because of the writer strike and everyone's using chatgpt now to make the next season.

Steffenfield posted...

Your two children will most likely need long therapy on how their biological father is now lesbian.

If they do, it likely won't have anything to do with TC, but with nominally righteous people who are actually 100% trash and raise their children up to be the same kind of trash so that they bully other kids for such things, and all go on pretend that they're decent people on Sundays.

I mean, I used to hear folks say the same thing about having two moms or two dads, and before that people would say the same about kids having a white mom and black dad (or vice versa.) The problem was never with the parents that these people were "concerned" about, the problem was the "concerned" people themselves being utter fecal golems and raising their kids up to be the same.

Family is something that is earned daily, weekly, monthly. Don't be afraid to distance yourself from people who would feign to care for you, but only if you follow their exact idea for who you are.

My wife cut off all contact with her family when they refused to believe her medical problems. While not exactly the same thing as you are experiencing, to make an exceptionally complicated issue into one easier to digest... they won't accept the truth of you and your experience.

Gain support from your chosen family, the ones who do understand your experience and choose to embrace it.

Steffenfield posted...

The thing that really gets me about people posting stupid shit like this is the implication that a parent transitioning is such a traumatic experience to a child that they'll need "long therapy."

Kids are pretty good at adapting to changes like this, even more so when they're young. They don't see us as horrific monsters, we just end up as another mom or dad. You projecting your feelings onto someone else's kids is about the slimiest, shittiest thing a person can say in this situation.

Or in simpler terms: fuck off

Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...

Family is something that is earned daily, weekly, monthly. Don't be afraid to distance yourself from people who would feign to care for you, but only if you follow their exact idea for who you are.

My wife cut off all contact with her family when they refused to believe her medical problems. While not exactly the same thing as you are experiencing, to make an exceptionally complicated issue into one easier to digest... they won't accept the truth of you and your experience.

Gain support from your chosen family, the ones who do understand your experience and choose to embrace it.

That sounds almost exactly like my parents. But every day I'm making new chosen family, and I do feel their support. It's not as painful as it once was. Although it still is painful.

My parents refuse to believe that being transgender is intrinsic. They think it's a choice. And nothing will change their mind. So I've had to cut them out of my life.

This post gives me feels. I just hope you're ok and wish you the best. You look good.

CARRRNE_ASADA posted...

This post gives me feels. I just hope you're ok and wish you the best. You look good.

Thank you, unfortunately it's almost impossible for me to tell if I look good or not because that's just how gender dysphoria works, but I do know that I've vastly prefer the person I see in the mirror now than I ever did the previous. And day by day, I'm starting to see myself in a different light, maybe someday I can call myself pretty or beautiful.

Tyranthraxus posted...

Next season of CE is gonna be trash because of the writer strike and everyone's using chatgpt now to make the next season.

Meh, I bet AI could write vastly superior to 99% of current day writers.

DarkRoast posted...

That sounds almost exactly like my parents. But every day I'm making new chosen family, and I do feel their support. It's not as painful as it once was. Although it still is painful.

I cannot even imagine that type of pain. Living through it with my wife, she would often lament how her family gaslit her and wished only for them to just support her and choose to accept what was happening.

You are a very strong person. Having to lose so much to be who you are is simply not fair. It is unfair your bio family refuse to support you. It is unfair you had to hide yourself for so long, and it is unfair you cannot celebrate the best things about transitioning and being you without them.

For what it is worth, while I imagine it is never going to be easy to do what you are doing, you will be an inspiration to others who were in the same spot as you. Your strength will be a strength others can cling onto in order for them to face a similar situation. There is something inspirational about that and feel proud about it.

DarkRoast posted...

Thank you, unfortunately it's almost impossible for me to tell if I look good or not because that's just how gender dysphoria works, but I do know that I've vastly prefer the person I see in the mirror now than I ever did the previous. And day by day, I'm starting to see myself in a different light, maybe someday I can call myself pretty or beautiful.

You look great!

Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...

I cannot even imagine that type of pain. Living through it with my wife, she would often lament how her family gaslit her and wished only for them to just support her and choose to accept what was happening.

You are a very strong person. Having to lose so much to be who you are is simply not fair. It is unfair your bio family refuse to support you. It is unfair you had to hide yourself for so long, and it is unfair you cannot celebrate the best things about transitioning and being you without them.

For what it is worth, while I imagine it is never going to be easy to do what you are doing, you will be an inspiration to others who were in the same spot as you. Your strength will be a strength others can cling onto in order for them to face a similar situation. There is something inspirational about that and feel proud about it.

Thank you, and if nothing else I hope I at least put a human face on being transgender. We aren't freaks, we aren't monsters, we are just normal people trying to live our lives. We just want people to believe us. Everyday I'm a little happier than before, because I'm living my truth.

KitKats posted...

You look great!

That makes me feel great

I've kind of latched on to a tomboy aesthetic, seems to work well with my freckles lol.

MabinogiFan posted...

And sex isn't "assigned" at birth. It just is.

and what about people who aren't born 100% male or 100% female?

thronedfire2 posted...

and what about people who aren't born 100% male or 100% female?

The medical saying, or so I hear...

"If there's a pole, seal the hole. If there's no pole, dig a hole."

I wish I could describe to you guys the joy I get from just looking down and seeing that I have breasts. There's nothing sexual at all about it, it just feels right. Like this is how my body was supposed to be. I'm actually comfortable in this body now. And to see myself in the mirror, with curves and feminine features, oftentimes I can't stop staring because I can finally see the person I always wanted to be.

It's lovely. One of the best feelings I've ever had.

The happiness is visible in the eyes.

Foppe posted...

The happiness is visible in the eyes.

Going back and seeing how I looked before I transitioned, I looked dead inside.
I wish my father would see the wonderful daughter he has now, but his hate has blinded him.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Horrible people tend to have this view of the world that everyone is as horrible as they are. And they're not happy unless they're sharing that misery with other people. The reality that TCs kids are gonna love her as a mother regardless would shatter that dude's brain if he accepted it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y395z7TGCyo

DarkRoast posted...

Going back and seeing how I looked before I transitioned, I looked dead inside.
I wish my father would see the wonderful daughter he has now, but his hate has blinded him.

Perhaps he will one day. Or not.
You cant chose your parents, but you can chose your family.

DarkRoast posted...

Going back and seeing how I looked before I transitioned, I looked dead inside.
I wish my father would see the wonderful daughter he has now, but his hate has blinded him.

It's fucking insane that people will turn on their own flesh and blood that sprung forth from their loins, over something like gender or orientation. They care so much about some bullshit religion or politics that their child being happy literally pisses them off. To only love your children if they "agree" with your personal views is bullshit.

Even if these things were a choice, which they aren't, it's so cruel and heartless to disown someone over.

Foppe posted...

Perhaps he will one day. Or not.
You cant chose your parents, but you can chose your family.

I want to share an experience I had at work. I apologize if this is a little... I dunno, maybe overwhelming?

We had a 16 year old living in our group homes (I'm a supervisor for group homes for at-risk teens and young adults). His placement with his father broke down to a number of things but one of the big ones was he was FtM transitioning. He wanted to be addressed as he/him, with a new name, and dad didn't understand and was mad about it.

This youth struggled a lot with mental health conditions and back in like... May or June? He made the decision to end his own life in our homes. It's only ever happened twice in the 30 year history of our organization.

We decided to hold a vigil for him as an organization. His father showed up and had made "programs" for us all, with he/him pronouns and his chosen name on them, rather than the ones given to him at birth.

It was... powerful. We all knew the struggles the father had in accepting this and while it was unfortunate it took their passing for them to accept who their son was... like, he did. So much growth, so much acceptance. It was one of the most beautiful things I've experienced in this job honestly.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/9/1/AAeEwGAAEvH3.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/9/2/AAeEwGAAEvH4.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/9/3/AAeEwGAAEvH5.jpg

Amber takes her ass to Buffalo Wild Wings!

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Omg, we need to make more