Current Events > So why is it a red flag to some dudes if a girl says she likes to travel?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Some dudes I know pass on girls once they see that as one of their interests in their profile for whatever reason

and I really dont get why

is traveling that bad? it can be pretty fun depending on the kind of traveling you do

Because traveling is the inverse of what "modern society" says we should do, which is securely build a nest, and only "visit" other places, but always return to the nest and stay there.

My guess is that its expensive, and with limited holiday available maybe they just want to chill at home sometimes instead

Because I dont have the money to be constantly traveling

because some guys don't like girls who like to travel

This video sums it up perfectly:

https://youtu.be/WZk1WHJ_fwo?si=Ja_DKj7ZRMzTStZ_

For me, living in Japan, it is usually a red flag for take me to live in another country so they can bounce later

Also it is really normie.

Travel
hiking
gym

Those arent personality traits. It doesnt say much about you at all, especially when every profile says this.

not everyone has the time and money to keep visiting other countries or far away places.

hiking and gym are okay because you are at least bettering your body and showing commitment. :)

They might think its code for "you better have lots of money if you want to date me"

Itd be a red flag for me if somebody doesnt like to travel.

They think that she bounces from dick to dick

I don't like to travel.

And probably don't have much in common with someone who does.

_____Cait posted...

For me, living in Japan, it is usually a red flag for take me to live in another country so they can bounce later

Also it is really normie.

Travel
hiking
gym

Those arent personality traits. It doesnt say much about you at all, especially when every profile says this.

But it is a hobby, which is what it's generally listed under.

Ok but realistically

people who claim i am a traveller are often

-Rich and supported by parents, so they have no responsibilities
-Just nomads who dont stick around long, which not everyone is into
-Bored people looking for someone to take them on trips

Sometimes these traveller people are also just young naive kids who are enlightened and will more likely get you in trouble than be a good time.

Most people have full time jobs and can travel maybe once a year. Travelers wont be satisfied.

Most people like to travel, so to make it your personality on a dating app raises some suspicions.

Glob posted...

Itd be a red flag for me if somebody doesnt like to travel.

That depends on the type of travel. Does she like to travel on vacations? Holidays? Or is it all year round? Year round has a bit of a red flag, but up to the individual.

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

hiking and gym are okay because you are at least bettering your body and showing commitment. :)

But as was said earlier in the topic, just about everyone says they have it as an interest. I'm not convinced that they are all legitimately into hiking.

i don't understand how someone wouldn't like traveling. obv traveling year round isn't feasible but taking a vacation a couple times a year is always fun

But maybe its just where i live. We are often told and encouraged to avoid them because it means they are hunting for foreigners to help them escape.

andel posted...

i don't understand how someone wouldn't like traveling. obv traveling year round isn't feasible but taking a vacation a couple times a year is always fun

It is normal, which is why it raises questions when people make their personality all about it

Because it's really basic. Everyone likes to travel. The same girls say they like food.

_____Cait posted...

It is normal, which is why it raises questions when people make their personality all about it

i guess i have never seen anyone who makes traveling their entire personality

_____Cait posted...

Ok but realistically

people who claim i am a traveller are often

-Rich and supported by parents, so they have no responsibilities
-Just nomads who dont stick around long, which not everyone is into
-Bored people looking for someone to take them on trips

Sometimes these traveller people are also just young naive kids who are enlightened and will more likely get you in trouble than be a good time.

Most people have full time jobs and can travel maybe once a year. Travelers wont be satisfied.

Most people like to travel, so to make it your personality on a dating app raises some suspicions.

I have never had any support from parents, financial or otherwise, at any point since I was 16. Im not nomadic and I have a full time job. I think youre overgeneralising.

Glob posted...

I have never had any support from parents, financial or otherwise, at any point since I was 16. Im not nomadic and I have a full time job. I think youre overgeneralising.

So you like traveling like a normal person does, and dont make it your entire personality?

_____Cait posted...

So you like traveling like a normal person does, and dont make it your entire personality?

do you have any examples of this? i have never seen anyone make traveling their entire personality

You know some of those old Family Guy episodes where Lois books surprise trips to Italy and the Caribbean to help the family gain culture and such, and Peter is always pissed because he's the one paying for it?

That's why. A lot of guys are scared they'll fall into a trap where the girl spends all their money on lavish vacations while he works his ass off.

It's not always a fair assessment, but it's a big reason as to why guys are wary about it.

_____Cait posted...

Ok but realistically

people who claim i am a traveller are often

-Rich and supported by parents, so they have no responsibilities
-Just nomads who dont stick around long, which not everyone is into
-Bored people looking for someone to take them on trips

Sometimes these traveller people are also just young naive kids who are enlightened and will more likely get you in trouble than be a good time.

Most people have full time jobs and can travel maybe once a year. Travelers wont be satisfied.

Most people like to travel, so to make it your personality on a dating app raises some suspicions.

This isn't true at all. People who post are generally just letting others know they don't want to sit around the house and only occasionally go out to eat or a movie. They enjoy actually living. And no, I don't think that's something everyone automatically assumes. Most people don't do a lot of travelling (for a number of reasons.)

andel posted...

do you have any examples of this? i have never seen anyone make traveling their entire personality

I have a co-worker who has taken 9 vacations this year and pretty much all she talks about is where she's been recently or where she's going next. It is hilariously frustrating because the rest of the crew is struggling to get by during slow season and she's off to Milan for a week with her bestie because the trip has been on their bucket list since high school (she's 28).

No, she's not from a rich family. Parents are a couple of old school hippies. Mom sits and home and makes herbal remedies (the Essential Oil kind, not the fun kind) and her dad works for FedEx. She married a dude whose family owns like half the car lots in the state and her husband makes bank selling ridiculously overpriced crap to people with more money than sense. Honestly, from the outside looking in on her life it is dumbfounding how out of touch with normal reality she is. She basically only has a job for a hobby

electricbugs2 posted...

You know some of those old Family Guy episodes where Lois books surprise trips to Italy and the Caribbean to help the family gain culture and such, and Peter is always pissed because he's the one paying for it?

That's why. A lot of guys are scared they'll fall into a trap where the girl spends all their money on lavish vacations while he works his ass off.

It's not always a fair assessment, but it's a big reason as to why guys are wary about it.

And most guys who worry about that are also the ones who couldn't afford to go anywhere to begin with nor have the personality to get anyone to want to travel with them. It's kind of like the guys who worry about pre-nups and divorce but are broke as hell and perpetually single. It's a completely irrational fear.

_____Cait posted...

So you like traveling like a normal person does, and dont make it your entire personality?

Ive been to ten different countries so far this year. Ill have been to 13 by the time the year is out.

andel posted...

do you have any examples of this? i have never seen anyone make traveling their entire personality

I dont really care or consider it a red flag, but I think of, for example, girls who get tattoos that say like Wanderlust or some shit like that. Or who describe themselves as having a g*psy soul. People whose instagrams are nothing but travel photos. Those are the types I think of when I think about making travel ones entire personality.

As to why thats considered a red flag by some I think there are a couple reasons. The first is that girls like that tend to be a bit more crusty? Like they have a vibe to them that I think some guys (particularly the traditionalist weirdos) find unfeminine. The other fear is that a potential girlfriends love for travel, especially visiting different places rather than going on say a yearly trip to one place, suggests an obsession with seeking out new experiences, which I think some guys find intimidating because they are worried that a girl who constantly wants new experiences is also going to eventually get tired of them as lovers/partners and abandon the relationship for the thrill of a new experience. I havent found that to be the case, but I think the fear is there nonetheless.

Aeriis posted...

damn she's living the life, no wonder her coworkers are jelly

Nobody is jealous lol. I'm happy for her. I have no ability to relate to her in any meaningful capacity when she comes in complaining that the fridge in her new car got so cold her water bottle froze in it and broke. That's not a problem I want to have. My issues with her are more "You need to spend less damn time on vacation and more time doing your actual job". She didn't even get the schedule made for her staff this week until Friday (and our weeks run Thursday to Wednesday) so literally none of them knew what shifts they were supposed to work and it was a needless scramble to get everything ready on time

Its coded language meaning you need to make big coins for her

Big red flags to me include but are not limited to the following, in no order:

No hobbies
Into astrology/gemstones/tarot cards/etc.
Supports Trump (this covers a lot on its own)
Poor nutrition and/or extremely picky eater
Poor spending habits

I'm not fond of traveling but I can understand that desire. There's nothing wrong with wanting to see the world and all that. It's just not really my thing. I've done my fair share within the States and it's just exhausting and expensive.

Most guys take it as an indicator of her basically saying "I'm not going to be happy if you don't take me on trips regularly".

So you got to be wealthy enough to take this girl on trips and you got to be wealthy enough where you can afford to take off work to go on them with her.

LoveLikeJazz posted...

Big red flags to me include but are not limited to the following, in no order:

No hobbies
Into astrology/gemstones/tarot cards/etc.
Supports Trump (this covers a lot on its own)
Poor nutrition and/or extremely picky eater
Poor spending habits

I'm not fond of traveling but I can understand that desire. There's nothing wrong with wanting to see the world and all that. It's just not really my thing. I've done my fair share within the States and it's just exhausting and expensive.

I would agree with all of your red flags, but Id also consider your attitude towards travelling one too, personally. Not that it makes you a bad person or anything. Just that Im going travelling a lot, so my partner has to be into it.

Luckily, she is.

dioxxys posted...

Most guys take it as an indicator of her basically saying "I'm not going to be happy if you don't take me on trips regularly".

So you got to be wealthy enough to take this girl on trips and you got to be wealthy enough where you can afford to take off work to go on them with her.

Why do you assume that she cant pay her own way?

For me it's not a red flag so much as an acknowledgement that I'm too poor to be compatible with that lifestyle.

When I think of a red flag I think of something that's an indication that someone isn't a good person. Liking to travel isn't that in the slightest.

Because they never come in travel size anyways

Glob posted...

Why do you assume that she cant pay her own way?

Because If she loved trips so much and could afford them herself, she'd be going on them already not posting about it on a dating app. Only reason she's on the app is to get her ticket.

dioxxys posted...

Because If she loved trips so much and could afford them herself, she'd be going on them already not posting about it on a dating app. Only reason she's on the app is to get her ticket.

Thats just misogynistic bullshit.

I say I like to travel. And you know what? I already do it, on my own dime.

If you assume women wont purely because theyre women, that reflects more poorly on you than them.

specialkid8 posted...

Because it's really basic. Everyone likes to travel. The same girls say they like food.

This is exactly why.

It's code for "I'm painfully basic and have dry af conversations"

Glob posted...

Thats just misogynistic bullshit.

I say I like to travel. And you know what? I already do it, on my own dime.

If you assume women wont purely because theyre women, that reflects more poorly on you than them.

It's really not. The ideal of men being the provider has not died out yet. Women using men as their wallets is not some sort of rare occurrence.

Good on you that you like to travel? Must be nice to be so rich, you probably have plenty of opportunities to meet partners while traveling so much. Probably don't need a dating profile but if you did I'm sure you could rope in a lot gold diggers if you made one and said you like to travel a lot.

dioxxys posted...

It's really not. The ideal of men being the provider has not died out yet. Women using men as their wallets is not some sort of rare occurrence.

Good on you that you like to travel? Must be nice to be so rich, you probably have plenty of opportunities to meet partners while traveling so much. Probably don't need a dating profile but if you did I'm sure you could rope in a lot gold diggers if you made one and said you like to travel a lot.

So you are a misogynist. Just own it dude.

I met my current girlfriend through a dating profile. And yes, I didnt struggle, but I never have in real life either. Not a gold digger though. She pays her own way.

You can resent me for having money all you like but I earn it all without exploiting anybody or coming from a position of privilege, so I dont feel bad about it.

Naw you're just wrong. Would have a different perspective if I haven't seen a hundred girls use men financially.

"Hey guys who can pay my phone bill this month" girl on Snapchat story for the 4th time in one year (lists cashapp).
-met through dating site

"I'm dating this guy only because he bought me a phone and he's trying to get me a car, I'm also sleeping with four other men currently".
-friend off dating site

"My guy friend is trying to get my car fixed for me because he's a mechanic and I can't afford it."
-coworker

"My guy friend is paying for my concert ticket for the 3rd year in a row. He likes me a lot but I'm only into girls right now."
-coworker

A bit sick and tired of it by now. Yeah it's possible that girl who likes to travel can pay her own way but not optimistic about it, easier just to avoid them all together.

I mean good for you that you got a woman who isn't digging in your pockets, never claimed all women were or that all women that like to travel gold dig just that that's the perception of women who use that line on dating sites.

I guess we're playing pretend land where women don't expect men to pay for shit, and acknowledgment of such is hatred of women. I'll get my crayons.

I like to travel, and I pay for it with my own money. The idea that it's only for the rich or the fickle is bullshit.

The 'make it your whole personality' thing is an accusation that can be levelled at anyone with a pastime they are enthusiastic about: music lovers, car enthusiasts, gamers, artists . . .

I think there's a little bit of insecurity going on: 'if they're so into their hobby they won't pay enough attention to me', coupled with 'uh oh, no way a person who likes to travel is going to want to stay at home, look after the kids, cook my meals, and spend every night on the couch watching TV with me (which maybe happens to be my whole personality)'.

dioxxys posted...

Naw you're just wrong. Would have a different perspective if I haven't seen a hundred girls use men financially.

"Hey guys who can pay my phone bill this month" girl on Snapchat story for the 4th time in one year (lists cashapp).
-met through dating site

"I'm dating this guy only because he bought me a phone and he's trying to get me a car, I'm also sleeping with four other men currently".
-friend off dating site

"My guy friend is trying to get my car fixed for me because he's a mechanic and I can't afford it."
-coworker

"My guy friend is paying for my concert ticket for the 3rd year in a row. He likes me a lot but I'm only into girls right now."
-coworker

A bit sick and tired of it by now. Yeah it's possible that girl who likes to travel can pay her own way but not optimistic about it, easier just to avoid them all together.

I mean good for you that you got a woman who isn't digging in your pockets, never claimed all women were or that all women that like to travel gold dig just that that's the perception of women who use that line on dating sites.

Except you are claiming that all women are like that, or at the very least almost all women. Saying that its just that way on dating sites doesnt stop your view coming across that way, given the sheer number of women on dating sites.

shnangyboos posted...

I guess we're playing pretend land where women don't expect men to pay for shit, and acknowledgment of such is hatred of women. I'll get my crayons.

No, were very much in the real world where generalising and assuming that all women expect you to foot the bill for their lifestyle is hatred of women.