Current Events > What dumb or wrong shit did you think as a kid?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I thought I could do dick stretches and it would get bigger

Forest_Temple posted...

I thought I could do dick stretches and it would get bigger

... You mean I've stretched that skin to the point it resembles sunburnt leather for nothing?

I thought that cremated people were fashioned into urns that the family got to keep.

EmilyTheCEman posted...

I thought (the first syllable) was simply short for Japanese like Jew is short for Jewish

Isn't this the case in non-America Anglosphere countries? Or am I mistaken?

When I was in 2nd grade, one day the students were asked what their parents did for a living and one girl said that her dad delivered babies, and I thought that meant directly taking a baby to their parent's house.

When I was a few years older, I didn't think other countries had TVs or airports.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


... I have to go tell my mother that I was right then.

Okay, so this is based on a false memory I had. This must've been one of my earliest memories, so I was probably like 3 or 4 when I saw this movie. There was a ghost that goes down a hill in a wheelbarrow and crashes into a fountain, and it was George Washington's ghost. A couple of years ago, I saw the scene again and recognized it immediately... it was The Money Pit with Tom Hanks where he gets covered in plaster, but George Washington had nothing to do with it.

The only thing I can think of is that maybe I was watching the movie and got scared of the "ghost," which is why I remembered it so vividly, and maybe a family member was talking about George Washington in the background and my mind mixed these two things together.

https://youtu.be/nJPju1f6p0E?t=30

I never picked up on the Beat-les before I was 20 because my headcanon was that they wanted to be The Beetles but another group had already taken the name

Trickle-down economics.

My across-the-street neighbor (very easily) convinced me that Brittany Spears was his cousin.
My mom always told me to keep the light in the car off in the dark, because it was illegal to have on for more than a few seconds- I wanted to read at all times. I only just in the last few years went . Wait a minute!
I never connected that germs were bacteria until high school. One day was like, huh, kinda weird how germs are a big deal yet they never teach us about them, right? And a friend said his science teacher was in the middle of good and bad bacterias and Im like okay?

I thought if you jumped off a really high building with a chair under your feet, you could jump off the chair at the last second and mitigate the fall damage.

I also thought that the gurgling sounds caused by watering plants was the sound of the plants drinking the water.

I also used to think I could keep running faster as long as I think about increasing my speed. I played sonic adventure 1 demo a lot during this time lol.

I found out I had a speed cap when I raced against the fastest kid in my class during recess. he was too fast

Blue_Thunder posted...

I also thought that the gurgling sounds caused by watering plants was the sound of the plants drinking the water.

Whats the cause of the sound?

As a kid I thought past dead cops controlled the traffic lights.

UnholyMudcrab posted...

I thought drinking and driving applied to any kind of drink. I once freaked out when my dad took a drink of Mtn Dew while driving because I thought the cops were going to pull him over for it.

I said the same to my mom once when she was sipping from a McDonald's cup while driving lol. She was like "...that's not what that means"

Also thunder was angels bowling. My grandmom told me that and I believed it until I was like 8 or 9.

When I was really young I thought playing a vhs meant the actors had to get together and perform for me.

I watched a man die of a heart attack

I maybe could have helped him by getting an adult but I completely froze.

Shit still fucks with me.

Forest_Temple posted...

Whats the cause of the sound?

The water fills any air gaps within the soil, and the displaced air gets pushed to the surface and creates little crackling noises as it escapes.

El_Marsh posted...

I watched a man die of a heart attack

I maybe could have helped him by getting an adult but I completely froze.

Shit still fucks with me.

Try not to blame yourself for that; experiencing someone dying would be traumatizing to most kids.

That thoughts or prayers or even hopes were worth spending even a modicum of your brain energy into. I knew it was all bullshit around the age of 10 but never really looked into philosophically until much later in life.

So one of the early first person shooters, I think Wolfenstein, had a bad guy that would say "comin' for ya!" And kid me believed that he was gonna come out of the TV and get me... I was too young to be watching that game lol

InTheEyesOfFire posted...

As a kid I thought past dead cops controlled the traffic lights.

Lmao. You were a moron as a kid.

EmilyTheCEman posted...

Speaking of which, im probably not alone, but I thought Led Zeppelin was a person.

I thought the same about Pink Floyd lol

the south pole is super hot

I used to hate the Beatles till I heard a day in the life
I didn't believe Bart Simpson was voiced by a woman
I thought the sopranos was a garbage show

Wat a fucking dumb ass I was
Frankly I've never been more depressed and ashamed.

I thought the "up" button in Super Mario was how you jumped. That kept me on Duck Hunt for at least a year.

I pictured God as looking like Mr. Wilson from the B&W Dennis the Menace

Justin2Krelian posted...

I thought the "up" button in Super Mario was how you jumped. That kept me on Duck Hunt for at least a year.

I was so used to the controls in Turok it took me forever to get into Goldeneye. C pad movement is a hell of a habit to break.

I used to think that green m&m's were lucky if you ate them last. Pretty sure a commercial is the reason for me thinking that.

Forest_Temple posted...

Lmao. You were a moron as a kid.

Big talk coming from Mr. Dick Stretches.