Current Events > The stigma with living with your parents in adult years needs to die.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Now, it's one thing if you are a leech, burdening your parents by refusing to grow up, or even contribute while you stink up a basement. However, what of those who share burdens with their aging parents all the while helping with bills while saving a shit ton of money on the side to prepare themselves? for independence?

Life isn't. fucking. fair. So, logically you play every card you have in your hand while you can.

Isn't it worse to move out before you were ready, have to constantly ask your folks to bail you out every month, and then end up moving back home anyway because you couldn't hack it on your own?

Rode out college in mom's basement, and would do it again with the place being down the street from the home. Help set me set up with financial security/stability despite disability. American culture is messed up for this if you ask me as hard as life is.

Always thought...Life is easier when you stop giving a fuck what other people think.

Isn't it pretty much dead already? Millennials/Gen Z living with their parents well into their 20s is pretty normalized it seems.

Id rather focus on making it easily possible for anyone to live without assistance from their family. You know like the times when this stigma was created.

Millennials and Gen Z have mostly kicked that stigma now. Lots of adults moved back in with family in the last few years.

NoxObscuras posted...

Millennials and Gen Z have mostly kicked that stigma now. Lots of adults moved back in with family in the last few years.

Pandemic had a big hand in that too

It's already normalized. There's just no way you'll be able to purchase and own a house unless you're making six figure, which means you're renting. As long as you can contribute something by living at your parents place and not be a leech, there's really no stigma against living with your parents. 90% of the time, it's the smartest decision you'll make.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

Always thought...Life is easier when you stop giving a fuck what other people think.

Yeah, you shouldn't care what other people think unless they promise to help support your situation materially or financially.

While the stigma is still there, it is dwindling away, and I believe it's mostly a N.A. thing. I'm Canadian and a lot of my co-workers who are either 1st, or 2nd generation immigrants often live with their families until well into their late twenties. I think they put a bigger premium on family than those of us from N.A. originally do.

It was never for me. I was happy to move out at 18 because I wanted to be independent. I understand, however, that it's not for everyone.

My wife and I moved in with her dad about a year ago. We are saving an absolutely enormous amount of money despite being lower income and should be in a place to buy our own home in another year and a half with about 30% down.

Torgo posted...

Yeah, you shouldn't care what other people think unless they promise to help support your situation materially or financially.

Best try to avoid that situation.

The nuclear family has destroyed America

In my experience, the stigma is now on people that can actually afford their own homes.

They're the ones that are "out of touch" and don't understand how the current world works for most people under the age of 40.

bigblu89 posted...

In my experience, the stigma is now on people that can actually afford their own homes.

They're the ones that are "out of touch" and don't understand how the current world works for most people under the age of 40.

At my old job, one of my coworkers was this lady in her mid 50's. Her parents bought a 2 story home in the 60's for 35k and gave her the house when she got married.

She had the audacity to say that no kids should ever be raised in an apartment, only in a house. She didn't even buy her house, it was given to her. Entitled older people man

man i lived with my parents for a while when i was 31 and it was pretty rad tbqh

i wasnt even saving money or anything, i was still paying rent on my apartment. it was just chill and cool.

Can't you people just let TC be mad about this, jfc

DipDipDiver posted...

Can't you people just let TC be mad about this, jfc

Yeah. Let me bitterly rage about old people god dammit!

On another note - what's a clear perk of owning a house compared to an apartment? seems to me you can complain to the owner if anything goes tits up as you pay the rent, but something will wreck in your home, and it's on you to fix it.

I agree but it becomes a harder argument the older the individual becomes.

Mid-late 40s perhaps being the cutoff point for passes in said regard.

I accept and welcome the shame of being a 42 year old leech. I don't care.

asian and hispanic families do this all the time.

I know a filipino couple who took over their family home from their parents. Allowed the parents to stay there, had children, the grand parents looked after and raised their grand kids while both parents could work.

mind you this couple is in their mid-30s living in a three bedroom, two-bath home.

free daycare and anyone with children know daycare is not cheap.

That would be nice. I moved back in with my parents in late 2016 when my getting fired happened to coincide with my mother having a terrible wreck. Im still living with them. But I was born legally blind, so I cant drive without technological aid (and Im working on that, but its a process). So its a symbiotic relationship where Im physically dependent on them to get around but theyre financially dependent on me to make ends meet.

I make a good living (not six figures, but close), so I could afford to live alone, but it makes no sense without being able to drive, so Id rather just save for a down payment on a home. The government also slapped us with a $50K debt due to a clerical error they made in 2012. Im 37 now, so way behind, but as said, life isnt fair.

TuxedoCyan posted...

I accept and welcome the shame of being a 42 year old leech. I don't care.

Still in line with my ideals. >_> No shame in your game. Free and easy.

The 2020 year forced a lot of people to move back into their parents place, covid hit hard for people just starting out or barely getting by.

It's certainly not ideal for dating

oh yeah I've worked with a lot of immigrants over the years and this just feels like an entirely american thing.

rich people can pay to have someone take care of their parents, most people have to put their parents in a home if they can't live on their own.

pretty much everywhere that's not america, families take care of each other.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

Still in line with my ideals. >_> No shame in your game. Free and easy.

Feel your pain - legally blind myself, but MS has affected my split thinking so much, too scared of hurting someone to even do more bioptic driving training. Someone close to me got slapped with that clerical error fee too, and that is the biggest load of bull that you be held for them messing up.

Edit: I told my gf a couple of nights ago that adults need to spend at least a year alone to learn what they are made of, and truly find themselves, but she disagreed. What are your guys/gals thoughts on that? Personally, i think not learning to survive alone makes you more prone to abusive relationships as the abuser has another tool to keep you.

I got a new bioptic Friday so thats what Im banking on if I want to have any form of independence. But I think I have to have it for 60 days before I can try to get the ball rolling again. The low vision specialist who helped order it also left to start her own practice farther away, so I dont know if theyll even have another one by then. Our vehicle wouldnt pass inspection either.

i tried this once in 2012 and it didnt work out, because theres nothing but regular driving schools in the whole state as far as I can tell. I am well past the legal limit vision wise with it, I just sucked at driving. Fingers crossed for this time.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

On another note - what's a clear perk of owning a house compared to an apartment? seems to me you can complain to the owner if anything goes tits up as you pay the rent, but something will wreck in your home, and it's on you to fix it.

It obviously varies person to person, so I can only give my personal account, but for me, it was matter of size.

When I moved out, of my parents house, I was in a 1 bedroom apartment. My GF (who eventually became my wife) moved in, and once we realized we were in it for the long haul, knew we needed a larger place.

Any apartment with 2 or more bedrooms STARTED at $2000 (and this was back in 2005), but a mortgage at the time was $1700. We (thankfully) had a decent amount of money saved up to use towards a down payment, so it was a no brainer for us. 2 bedroom for $2000, or 4 bedroom,2 bathroom house for $1700.

Yes, there are added expenses in owning a home, but I'm pretty handy and can fix 75-80% of the problems that occur in my house.

Plus, If we were to decide to move, we'd make a pretty hefty profit when selling. As opposed to living decades in an apartment, leaving, and getting none of the investment back.

Nah. The lack of ability to be independent with "minimum wage" or most types of wages needs to die.

Yeah it's a dumb stigma. Both of my parents have passed away, if they were still alive I'd consider it a blessing to live with them. It's better to live with people who actually love you than roommates who are strangers or friends/associates who may not have your best interest at heart

bigblu89 posted...

It obviously varies person to person, so I can only give my personal account, but for me, it was matter of size.

When I moved out, of my parents house, I was in a 1 bedroom apartment. My GF (who eventually became my wife) moved in, and once we realized we were in it for the long haul, knew we needed a larger place.

Any apartment with 2 or more bedrooms STARTED at $2000 (and this was back in 2005), but a mortgage at the time was $1700. We (thankfully) had a decent amount of money saved up to use towards a down payment, so it was a no brainer for us. 2 bedroom for $2000, or 4 bedroom,2 bathroom house for $1700.

Yes, there are added expenses in owning a home, but I'm pretty handy and can fix 75-80% of the problems that occur in my house.

Plus, If we were to decide to move, we'd make a pretty hefty profit when selling. As opposed to living decades in an apartment, leaving, and getting none of the investment back.

Nice.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

It's certainly not ideal for dating

Not to sound sexist, but women can get a pass on that easier than a man could. Hate to say it, but another reason i detest society.

alfred_ashford posted... Nah. The lack of ability to be independent with "minimum wage" or most types of wages needs to die.

Damn

"It's certainly not ideal for dating"

Hah yeah that's for sure especially when your family that didn't like me having girls over at all. Not that I was looking for a girlfriend in high school but certainly as I got older it was a massive hindrance.

2Pacavelli posted...

Yeah it's a dumb stigma. Both of my parents have passed away, if they were still alive I'd consider it a blessing to live with them. It's better to live with people who actually love you than roommates who are strangers or friends/associates who may not have your best interest at heart

Yeah but not everybody is fortunate enough to have a family situation that is ideal. Also, living solo is a third option, though many find it hard to manage. Worked pretty well for me, after a very tough adjustment period.

Im jealous af of people that have the option to live with their parents

I get it saves money, but you wouldn't like my parents well especially my older brother literally acted like a parent most of my life so that was a bust too.

You better go to church every Saturday or Sunday too and act right.

Now I am making this topic about myself, gawd what is wrong with me.

Kamil posted...

I get it saves money, but you wouldn't like my parents well especially my older brother literally acted like a parent most of my life so that was a bust too.

You better go to church every Saturday or Sunday too and act right.

Now I am making this topic about myself, gawd what is wrong with me.

Was raised by a narcissist parent, but she's still family and would take a bullet for me, as would i for her. Better the devils you trust?

Nintendo_Porn posted...

On another note - what's a clear perk of owning a house compared to an apartment? seems to me you can complain to the owner if anything goes tits up as you pay the rent, but something will wreck in your home, and it's on you to fix it.

I think it's ultimately personal preference. In some cities it makes sense to rent, especially if you're just someone who moves around a lot. And honestly, owning a home can be expensive.

Ideally, we should have such an abundance of housing choices, that real estate and home ownership ends up not being the kind of investment it currently is.

But currently, owning can definitely have positive financial rewards

Or just accept that people will always judge others for a variety of things and you can't control what others think, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter.

I moved back in with my mom to support her after my father passed away. My brother is an alcoholic and emotionally abuses her, but she defends him for everything. She treats him like a damn baby, I regret moving in and will be moving out the end of the year.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

Yeah. Let me bitterly rage about old people god dammit!

On another note - what's a clear perk of owning a house compared to an apartment? seems to me you can complain to the owner if anything goes tits up as you pay the rent, but something will wreck in your home, and it's on you to fix it.

Renting is basically setting your money on fire. When you buy a home, its an investment that grows in value over time, and if you ever move, you can sell it and get enough money to buy another home. If you pay a mortgage for decades, you own it free and clear and its an asset. If you pay rent for several decades, youll have nothing to show for it whatsoever.

Not to mention a mortgage payment is typically cheaper than rent to boot.

PraetorXyn posted...

Renting is basically setting your money on fire. When you buy a home, its an investment that grows in value over time, and if you ever move, you can sell it and get enough money to buy another home. If you pay a mortgage for decades, you own it free and clear and its an asset. If you pay rent for several decades, youll have nothing to show for it whatsoever.

Not to mention a mortgage payment is typically cheaper than rent to boot.

All of this. Also a mortgage doesn't have the risk of suddenly skyrocketing the way rent can. Like my apartment where the landlord gave us notice that the rent would be increasing from $1500 to $1800 (a 20% increase).

Gotta have (real amounts of) money/credit to make money credit too. This place my family moved into does kinda fucking suck now. The first year they raised the rent 8 bucks. Who cares wow that's like one less fancy hamburger. Now they've been raising the rent 30 to 40 every year. They'll probably raise it even more in May.

Also the guy who moved in below me is a real pos. With his loud parties music and sometimes arguments for hours.

Kamil posted...

Gotta have (real amounts of) money/credit to make money credit too. This place my family moved into does kinda fucking suck now. The first year they raised the rent 8 bucks. Who cares wow that's like one less fancy hamburger. Now they've been raising the rent 30 to 40 every year. They'll probably raise it even more in May.

Also the guy who moved in below me is a real pos. With his loud parties music and sometimes arguments for hours.

Id have killed for raises like that, as in 2 years my rent went from around $1250 in October 2014 to $1380 in August 2016 when I moved.