Board 8 > If technology allowed you to crap your pants would you do it?

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Grand_Kirby
04/11/24 9:22:08 PM
#1:


Hypothetical situation. Imagine if in the future they invented underwear that, if you go to the bathroom in them, it automatically teleports the waste away from your drawers in an instant leaving no trace of your leavings. Meaning you'd never have to go to a specific room to "go to the bathroom" you could just do it whenever you were. If such a thing existed, would you be okay with pissing and shitting yourself or would you find the idea too uncomfortable even if it wasn't physically unpleasant?

And if you would be okay with this, would you still step aside to a private area to do your business or do you think you would be able to let loose while in a crowd or in the middle of a conversation? Would it make a difference if you could do it subtly or not?

I feel like an invention like this would change the world but few people would want to be the first adopters...

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NFUN
04/11/24 9:25:15 PM
#2:


Ah, the Harry Potter Dilemma

I have played too much Don't Shit Your Pants to do this. I've been conditioned very hard

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MrSmartGuy
04/11/24 9:28:51 PM
#3:


My answer is both, I guess. I would absolutely use it at home, just to save time. They'd also be really nice for road trips or going to events. But at work, having a nice little bathroom break to calm down and have a little me time can redeem an entire day.

That said, I'd definitely not poop around people. Surely the stink would get out there, even if briefly, and that'd be fucking horrible.

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greengravy294
04/11/24 9:45:30 PM
#4:


absolutely

and if it was transferred into LMS's pants id say double absolutely

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MZero
04/11/24 9:52:25 PM
#5:


Absolutely. I'm sure it would take awhile to get used to, but after that I'm all in.

Grand_Kirby posted...
And if you would be okay with this, would you still step aside to a private area to do your business or do you think you would be able to let loose while in a crowd or in the middle of a conversation? Would it make a difference if you could do it subtly or not?

100% depends on if the smell gets out. I would think if we have the technology to teleport poop we would have some smell proof tech as well though

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Sheep007
04/11/24 9:53:21 PM
#6:


I have Crohn's so this isn't a theoretical question but the answer is absolutely yes even if you don't know it yet.

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mnk
04/11/24 10:10:25 PM
#7:


Assuming "no trace" means it leaves my butthole totally clean and there is no smell, then yeah I don't see why not. I'm sure over time I'd get good at doing it without it being noticeable.

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Wanglicious
04/12/24 2:08:01 AM
#8:


my only concern of this is 1) employers would find a way to make bathroom breaks be unnecessary somehow, and 2) piss breaks when drinking help you know how far you've gone. without that uhhh... bars are tricky.

this would however be the #1 hit with women around the world and would be the fastest adopted piece of underwear ever. given the chance, every parent would put this on their newborn too, so the next generation would grow up with this guaranteed. would legit be a 1 generation switch.

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Brayze_II
04/12/24 2:15:08 AM
#9:


I'm not sure that I can shit standing up

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iiaattgg
04/12/24 6:42:08 AM
#10:


Absolutely not.

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Obellisk
04/12/24 9:12:46 AM
#11:


Technology is advanced enough to teleport shit out of my pants but not out of my anus before it leaves the body?

This future tech is garbage.


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pjbasis
04/12/24 9:15:59 AM
#12:


Does it stop the farting noises?


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SeabassDebeste
04/12/24 9:17:59 AM
#13:


nah, i'd just continue shitting in my regular pants and then cleaning my whole body afterward

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Hardcore_Adult
04/12/24 9:33:30 AM
#14:


Hell no.

Some of us have *Standards*.

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Emeraldegg
04/12/24 9:55:37 AM
#15:


MrSmartGuy posted...
My answer is both, I guess. I would absolutely use it at home, just to save time. They'd also be really nice for road trips or going to events. But at work, having a nice little bathroom break to calm down and have a little me time can redeem an entire day.

That said, I'd definitely not poop around people. Surely the stink would get out there, even if briefly, and that'd be fucking horrible.
Counterpoint: Don't tell your boss you have this tech, take bathroom breaks anyway even if you don't need them

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catesdb
04/12/24 10:32:24 AM
#16:


i don't understand the downside

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ExThaNemesis
04/12/24 10:36:20 AM
#17:


catesdb posted...
i don't understand the downside

Oh word? So you don't get how american corporations would harness this to maximize productivity by eliminating bathrooms from the workplace. You'd be locked in at your desk/station all day. Especially when they also stitch up something to either inject or feed you a ration at selected times.

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Emeraldegg
04/12/24 10:52:05 AM
#18:


ExThaNemesis posted...
Oh word? So you don't get how american corporations would harness this to maximize productivity by eliminating bathrooms from the workplace. You'd be locked in at your desk/station all day. Especially when they also stitch up something to either inject or feed you a ration at selected times.
I assume catesdb was thinking more with regards to the mechanics rather than outside forces. IE as stated in the OP "Would you be okay with pissing/****ing yourself" which would be the downside, it'd be purely mental and whether you could adapt to the idea of doing this.

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MacArrowny
04/12/24 10:53:04 AM
#19:


Being able to pee my pants would be a bigger positive. I pee way more often than I poo, and it's annoying during stuff like movies.

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foolm0r0n
04/12/24 10:57:22 AM
#20:


Emeraldegg posted...
Counterpoint: Don't tell your boss you have this tech, take bathroom breaks anyway even if you don't need them
They'll fire you for being the only idiot in the world without the magic bathroom tech

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catesdb
04/12/24 11:05:02 AM
#21:


ExThaNemesis posted...
Oh word? So you don't get how american corporations would harness this to maximize productivity by eliminating bathrooms from the workplace. You'd be locked in at your desk/station all day. Especially when they also stitch up something to either inject or feed you a ration at selected times.
innovation is so complicated nowadays

damned second-order effects

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MZero
04/12/24 11:10:49 AM
#22:


ExThaNemesis posted...
Oh word? So you don't get how american corporations would harness this to maximize productivity by eliminating bathrooms from the workplace. You'd be locked in at your desk/station all day. Especially when they also stitch up something to either inject or feed you a ration at selected times.

work from home master race

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Dancedreamer
04/12/24 11:30:35 AM
#23:


No. Imagine if it failed! Technology is imperfect at best. Plus I'd be uncomfortable going to the bathroom while people watched, even if they didn't know, I would know!

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SHINE_GET_64
04/12/24 11:38:25 AM
#24:


I would be pooping 24/7

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mnk
04/12/24 1:17:14 PM
#25:


Obellisk posted...
Technology is advanced enough to teleport shit out of my pants but not out of my anus before it leaves the body?

This future tech is garbage.

You have to wear a buttplug for that technology.

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Johnbobb
04/12/24 1:20:38 PM
#26:


mnk posted...
You have to wear a buttplug for that technology.
Worth it

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Bitto
04/12/24 1:35:14 PM
#27:


I'd use it for niche situations like hiking or road trips, but otherwise no. Bathroom breaks are good.

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Isquen
04/12/24 2:00:34 PM
#28:


Nah, no thank you. Dumping on company time is a right.

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HaRRicH
04/12/24 2:10:29 PM
#29:


Question: how do you turn the underwear off and on, and how do you know when the battery is low?

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Grand_Kirby
04/12/24 2:45:40 PM
#30:


HaRRicH posted...
Question: how do you turn the underwear off and on, and how do you know when the battery is low?
You'd probably use an app

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Wanglicious
04/12/24 3:00:07 PM
#31:


oh no, we're gonna have microtransactions in our always online underwear.
"To enable teleport poop function please pay $3.99!"
"We're sorry your credit card was declined."

and that's how you ruin your reputation forever.
would it be just by area or could it detect the kind of waste? if the latter, even more microtransactions. and what if i'm a spot with awful reception? will it still work or will it teleport things away slower to match the data speed.

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MacArrowny
04/12/24 3:37:26 PM
#32:


Wanglicious posted...
oh no, we're gonna have microtransactions in our always online underwear.
"To enable teleport poop function please pay $3.99!"
"We're sorry your credit card was declined."

and that's how you ruin your reputation forever.
would it be just by area or could it detect the kind of waste? if the latter, even more microtransactions. and what if i'm a spot with awful reception? will it still work or will it teleport things away slower to match the data speed.
It'd work the same way apps that work with modern day implants, pacemakers, etc. work.

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Wanglicious
04/12/24 4:02:03 PM
#33:


those are items/devices inside of you that already work regardless. the app doesn't control the usage or function, it's just monitoring.

this is external, it's underwear with additional features. it has more in common with DRM infested cars, trains, or other appliances as a result.

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swirIdude
04/12/24 10:55:19 PM
#34:


Always crap your pants to assert dominance.

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Uglyface2
04/12/24 11:05:01 PM
#35:


It's too ingrained in me to do my business away from other people. I wouldn't.
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#36
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Obellisk
04/13/24 3:38:26 PM
#37:


mnk posted...
You have to wear a buttplug for that technology.

Frankly if the hole is no longer going to serve as an out, might as well be an in. I support and will donate to this cause.

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Leonhart4
04/13/24 3:47:17 PM
#38:


Next thing you'll tell me that there will be technology to teleport food directly into my stomach

There's something satisfying about taking a giant dump that technology can't replicate

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StealThisSheen
04/13/24 4:26:54 PM
#39:


I assume call center people would absolutely love this, because from my former experience, call centers don't allow you bathroom breaks, you need to just go on your regular breaks.

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Hardcore_Adult
04/16/24 1:50:03 PM
#40:


swirIdude posted...
Always crap your pants to assert dominance.

Over what, Your underwear?

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HaRRicH
04/16/24 4:42:51 PM
#41:


Over those witnessing your facial reactions while you try to play it cool changing PowerPoint slides in the boardroom.

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