Current Events > A small, sassy cat stands in your path.

(+) Yeah! (+)

domranguay posted...

A random vending machine in a cave, with warm drinks? I get the feeling there may have been another cat/God inside...

This feels like a reference to something, but idk it. The closest thing I can think of is TWEWY.

Pani Poni Dash. There's a cat who likes to sit inside vending machines and warm the drinks to body temperature.

https://youtu.be/drTtHFTQJO4

Oh okay, I was never gonna guess that. I DO love that cat now though.

Ask Mike to lead.

Then ask if he knew we were a ninja this whole time.

Then pet him.

Hambo this topic has been amazing! Thank you again for it, and all the great/fun art you made for it.

Mistere_Man posted...

Hambo this topic has been amazing! Thank you again for it, and all the great/fun art you made for it.

It's easily the best topic on CE.

Hambo is a national treasure

Thanks, everyone. It's been been to write and draw and turn everyone's ideas into an adventure. I'm really glad you're enjoying it.

*It's been fun

It hasn't been been. That would be stupid.

And reiterating what everyone else has said, this is my favorite topic you've ever done and that field has some tight fuckin' competition.

DrizztLink posted...

Ask Mike to lead.

Then ask if he knew we were a ninja this whole time.

Then pet him.

You ask Mike to take the lead. With his amazing cat vision and cat-like reflexes, he'll keep the party safe from whatever lurks in the shadows. He nods confidently. His bravery inspires you to offer him more pets.

You reach over to pet when suddenly a miracle occurs. Your patented pet technique evolves into an almighty snuggle!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/ea6d47e8.jpg
Wow! Your mastery of petting Mike's head and the strength of your mutual respect awakens the power to show him the kind of affection all kitty cats deserve! This is definitely a gold trophy on PS and like a LOT of points on Xbox. Or however achievements work there. You wouldn't know cuz why would anyone bother to own an Xbox? Also if you're playing on Switch then you get NOTHING for this. Also sorry about the frame rate.

You compose yourself. Suddenly you wonder if Mike always knew you were a ninja. He pulls out some crayons and snatches the invoice from you. After a moment, he's composed a photorealistic image of the moment he learned you were a ninja.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/427d307d.jpg
Oh, that's right. You used your ninja skills to sneak him extra fish at C-Food. And then again to sneak out of the restaurant. And then AGAIN to sneak back IN to the restaurant and steal a pirate costume. You've been a ninja ALL ALONG. This is like a Sixth Sense moment for you.

Mike snaps his paws and urges you to follow him deeper into the caverns. You follow dutifully.

The torch light is running low, but Mike's vision is uninhibited, and following his footsteps, you avoid walls and stalagmites. You do occasionally bump your head on hanging stalactites that only you are tall enough to hit though.

After a while, Mike stops, holding out his paw to stop you as well. You come screeching to a halt just in time.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/7d8de01b.jpg
Aw jeez, it's a huge chasm with spiky rocks at the bottom. You almost walked right over the edge.

You don't think you can jump it, even with your ninja skills and Mike's agility. You've got to find a way across.

Hey, maybe it's time for Wormy to shine again! You ask him to cast a water spell to flood the chasm so you can cross it. He begins to charge up...
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/f90b77d9.jpg
Harbinger of the Depths! Long before the dawn of life on earth, eldritch horrors from a far-off dimension cast this curse upon the dry planet, and the millenia of rainfall that followed formed the first ocean. It's said that if it were ever to be cast again, all terrestrial life would meet its end.

A rain cloud forms before your very eyes and water begins to pour out.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/de5be497.jpg
It's enough to refill your empty soda can. So like. You've got that going for you.

You're still gonna need another way to cross this gap though.

One of these days, Wormy is gonna cast a low level spell like spark or zap and just annihilate the universe by accident.

Also bonus image added to the gallery.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/5d803dca.jpg
For all the die-hard Love Actually fans out there.

DrizztLink posted...

And reiterating what everyone else has said, this is my favorite topic you've ever done and that field has some tight fuckin' competition.

Thank you for BOTH of those compliments. That's very kind. :]

evilpresident posted...

One of these days, Wormy is gonna cast a low level spell like spark or zap and just annihilate the universe by accident.

No no no no no. No way. I'm sure that won't happen. There's definitely nothing to worry about with Wormy's power scaling.

It's time to sleep. The snuggling power-up has unlocked more menu options, including a tent complete with sleeping bag and feather toy for Mike.

After playing with Mike with the feather toy, go to sleep with Mike cuddling behind your knees.

Wormy gets to be the lookout.

I'm not really sure what's going on here, but your drawings are on point

_Valigarmanda_ posted...

I'm not really sure what's going on here, but your drawings are on point

Thank you. It is admittedly a lot to read through by this point, but I'm glad you like the pics lol.

EPR-radar posted...

It's time to sleep. The snuggling power-up has unlocked more menu options, including a tent complete with sleeping bag and feather toy for Mike.

After playing with Mike with the feather toy, go to sleep with Mike cuddling behind your knees.

Wormy gets to be the lookout.

Your bond with Mike has unlocked camping! And just in time. You've had a long day, you're tired, and you don't wanna deal with this goddamn ravine right now.

You set up your new luxury tent and staple Wormy's robe to the outside so he can be the lookout.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/e13bb11b.jpg

Inside, you cuddle up with Mike in your comfy new jammies.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/caca8d7e.jpg
The camping set was supposed to include a cat toy, but you can't seem to find it, so you just settle down and play on your phone for a bit.

You open the Samsummon App. You still haven't had to use it, so you decide to poke around.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/9/9a9459f6.jpg
Your friends list only has the mechanic who dolled up your car. Wow, level 50. She's no joke.

Below that you see a list of some free summons that anyone can use. They have a bird available. That's kind of like a feather cat toy, right? You give it a click, hit the summon button, watch an ad for home insurance, and then a portal appears before you. Out pops a round, unsettling bird. It runs around the tent and Mike chases after it until he's tuckered out.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/85d3cce4.jpg

Once you've all had your fun, you dismiss the bird and go to sleep.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/3690773d.jpg
The party is fully restored.

Now, about that spike pit...

What if Mike accidentally evolves into Alolan Persian?

HighSeraph posted...

What if Mike accidentally evolves into Alolan Persian?

Blocked

Maybe we could Samsummon a higher level bat that we could ride on through the cave.

Look online to see if the doctor has a website with a Venmo account. He seems like he doesn't really want visitors and maybe we should respect that.

I'm sure the ghost worm whose tomb we raided in order to lure in a pack of hornless hounds would appreciate our newfound moral code.

Giacomo_Hawkins posted...

Look online to see if the doctor has a website with a Venmo account. He seems like he doesn't really want visitors and maybe we should respect that.

I'm sure the ghost worm whose tomb we raided in order to lure in a pack of hornless hounds would appreciate our newfound moral code.

With your mind refreshed from a good night's sleep, you wonder if there's an option to simply pay your bill online. The hostile layout of the veterinary clinic suggests that maybe the vet simply doesn't want company and perhaps there is a moral high ground you can use as a shortcut.

You open your Firetype Fox web browser.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/82022764.jpg

You search for the clinic online and find an official website. Curiously, it consists of a single page.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/c2057fcd.jpg
Blah blah blah, you skim over the boring intro. You don't give a shit about this guy's life story. You just wanna see where you can--oh! Pay Online! You read the instructions for online payments:

No. Stupid kids n there newfangled computers. Come and pay me in person face 2 face.

Well, you guess paying online isn't an option after all. He must be one of those old-fashioned types what hates computers and such. It seems morality is not back on the menu, boys.

ooger posted...

Maybe we could Samsummon a higher level bat that we could ride on through the cave.

You open your Samsummon app once more, hoping to find some kind of familiar to fly you across the gap. Mechanic, no. Round flightless bird, no. Rock, no. You scroll down further.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/7ea40200.jpg
Horny demon, no. Bat, maybe? It looks like there's a range of levels and sizes available to summon. You click the listing and select the largest sized bat available. You select the free summoning option. You wait for around five minutes as the app shows you an ad for a VPN, another home insurance ad, and six political ads. Finally, a portal begins to open over the pit.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/14faf203.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/4b310040.jpg
It's a big ol' bat! Complete with a saddle for easy mounting! Dang this app is convenient. You take to the skies! Or like, the air underground. That's not the sky. Whatever, you fly!

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/243cddb3.jpg
Yeeeaaaaaaaahhh!!!

You land safely on the other side of the ravine, then thank and dismiss the bat. What a sweetheart.

I say we give wormy a can of Monster. Maybe that'll get his energy flowing again so he can cast a spell to cross the spikes

Gonna need one of those ghost cans though, otherwise it'll pass right through him

Ninja'd. You're already past the spikes. Don't waste your drinks on that little shit.

Damn, poor fella doesn't even get to experience the glory of Monster

Meh, you can give him some later if you're so inclined. Though he is the ghost of a mummified giant ass snake and embodiment of a curse, so he has at least experienced the glory of being a monster by several definitions.

We simply must befriend this bat.

I'm calling him Grotto Martinez personally but dealer's choice.

==>!!!

DrizztLink posted...

We simply must befriend this bat.

I'm calling him Grotto Martinez personally but dealer's choice.

The real treasure is the friends we make along the way.

DrizztLink posted...

We simply must befriend this bat.

I'm calling him Grotto Martinez personally but dealer's choice.

Giacomo_Hawkins posted...

The real treasure is the friends we make along the way.

sauceje posted...

==>!!!

You just can't get over the exemplary customer service during that last summoning session. You open your Recent Summons tab and favorite the bat so you can find it again later.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/cbc7d596.jpg
You also type "Grotto Martinez" into the personal notes field as a reminder for a possible name, even though you KNOW that isn't gonna fit in the naming menu. Oh well. You figure that if you do end up recruiting him as a party member or personal summon, you can fine tune the name then.

You take a moment to contemplate the allies you've accrued already. "You know, guys?" you say, "I think the real treasure we've found on our journey is the friends we made along the way."

Mike punches you in the gut and admires the shiny coin he's holding.

You proceed into the cave and eventually spot a sign. https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/5dc69884.jpg
The sign reads "BOSS" with an arrow pointing forward. Nice! You were hoping the vet's office would be up ahead. Nice of them to put up a sign. Although calling him "boss" seems a bit informal for a veterinary facility.

He's obviously the boss of his own private practice. I trust the obviously trustworthy surroundings and proceed with full confidence in veterinary medicine.

Walk in and loudly announce our presence.

"Hello Mr. Veterinarian sir, Mike Hawk and I are here to thank you for servicing us in the park and have come to settle the tab for services rendered."

Maybe "BOSS" is Dr. Furkenstien's first name.

Tyranthraxus posted...

He's obviously the boss of his own private practice. I trust the obviously trustworthy surroundings and proceed with full confidence in veterinary medicine.

Giacomo_Hawkins posted...

Walk in and loudly announce our presence.

"Hello Mr. Veterinarian sir, Mike Hawk and I are here to thank you for servicing us in the park and have come to settle the tab for services rendered."

The tunnel leads to a large open room.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/0ddd5436.jpg
The room is littered with strange stone sculptures and what you assume are replicas of animal bones. For veterinary purposes. At the far end is Dr. Furkenstein himself, sitting on a grand throne--uhh, you mean office chair.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/08aef6c7.jpg

You greet the doctor. "Hello Mr. Veterinarian sir, Mike Hawk and I are here to thank you for servicing us in the park and have come to settle the tab for services rendered."

"Welcome, welcome," he replies. "I'm glad you made it. I hope the trip wasn't too perilous."

"Oh no, sir, not at all. Well, it is awfully dark in here and there are an awful lot of spikes. Also I think the vending machine might need repairs cuz our drinks--"

"Yes, yes, well I'll be taking my fee now," the vet interrupts.

"Oh yes, sir." You pull out the $2000 you counted out back at camp. A table made of definitely plastic bones rises up in front of the vet on its own. Wow, this office is fancy. You place the money on the table.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/db24cbf2.jpg

"And the rest of it?" The vet asks.

"It's all there. That's two thousand dollars," you assure him.

"Ahh, but you collected much more than that during your little pyramid scheme, now didn't you? You're still holding out a couple grand. And I'll be having that Hornbreaker Medallion while we're at it."

"Huh? How did you know about all that?"

"Let's just say I have my connections with the Horny Police Force." As he says it, another shape rises from up from beneath the ground. A familiar figure. It's...

"A Shiba Inu?"
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/88c4aa6d.jpg
Indeed, the figure is a Shiba Inu in the remains of a police uniform. But while it is standing up before you, you see it clearly isn't alive and probably hasn't been for a long time.

"Yes, but it's not just any old dog. This is the esteemed Horny Police Sheriff. A handy little tool for controlling the rest of the pack."

The conversation goes on for a painfully long time. The plot twists and tangles. The flashbacks flash. Loose threads connect in mindblowing ways. It's the most insane and clever backstory you've ever seen and yet it all makes sense in a very satisfying way.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6b7d83bc.jpg
By the end, you learn about the vet's use of animal necromancy to establish and command the Horny Police from the shadows, ultimately creating the puritanical dystopia that exists in the world today.

"You're a monster!" you cry out. "YOU took the horny away! YOU'RE the reason Mike grew up in constant fear of bonking by rabid dogs!"

"Guilty as charged," Furkenstein replies smugly.

"We'll expose your dastardly deeds! We'll show the people all you've done!"

"I'd be delighted to see you begin to explain all of this to the world. But sadly, you won't live long enough to try."

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/5f798d50.jpg
Battle time!

Aw jeez it's a boss fight! Who could have seen this coming?! You're positively flabbergasted. But you've got to pull yourself together and fight!

Leave the vet a one star review on Bark

In the one star review, we write "Veterinarian was very horny 1/10" then log out and show the review to the doge.

Hambo posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/cb11d9da.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/e9381ae6.jpg

Let's use Camouflage since we can totally blend into the cave features.

Amenosnek can try to Possess the zombie'd chief

Giacomo_Hawkins posted...

Leave the vet a one star review on Bark

Tyranthraxus posted...

In the one star review, we write "Veterinarian was very horny 1/10" then log out and show the review to the doge.

Dr. Furkenstein and Zombark appear.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/5da49922.jpg

You open your Bark app and leave a nasty review for Furkenstein's practice.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a4823052.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/a/a362c2c5.jpg
The Sick Burn to his reputation deals minor fire damage to the doctor. You show the Zombark your review. The Zombark's loyalty temporarily wavers.

Michael uses Cat Nab on you.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/4c9d50bd.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/61cbf147.jpg
Michael steals your Squeaky Hammer!

ooger posted...

Let's use Camouflage since we can totally blend into the cave features.

Amenosnek can try to Possess the zombie'd chief

The Zombark attacks you.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/bf4701fe.jpg

Dr. Furkenstein attacks Michael.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/b1cbad8c.jpg
Michael dodges the attack.

Amenosnek uses Possess on the Zombark.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/9/96226035.jpg
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/0f413052.jpg
Amenosnek temporarily possesses the Zombark.

Use Zombark as part of unlocked team attack: Mass Hysteria

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9NMt42il4Q

Yes!!!

Let's check the menu of zombark and see what this guy can do!

ooger posted...

Let's use Camouflage since we can totally blend into the cave features.

Giacomo_Hawkins posted...

Use Zombark as part of unlocked team attack: Mass Hysteria

ooger posted...

Let's check the menu of zombark and see what this guy can do!

You use Camouflage.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/b69546f9.jpg
Camouflage
Class Skill (Ninja)
Blend in with your surroundings, decreasing likelihood of being targeted and increasing evasion and defense.

Michael attacks Dr. Furkenstein.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/da050e8a.jpg

Dr. Furkenstein attacks you.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2f8b006b.jpg
Damage is reduced by your ingenious bone fort.

You attempt a team attack with Amenosnek. You don't have enough TP for a team attack! What's more, Wormy's grasp on the Zombark isn't strong enough. The vet's necromancy interferes with Wormy's possession of corpses.

However, Wormy doesn't have the same strong, independent personality that Mike does, so he'll probably obey whatever command that he DOES have available. You examine the commands available for the possessed Zombark.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/1ee99353.jpg
Chomp
Possession Skill (Zombark)
Bite a target with sharp, decrepit teeth.

Decay
Possession Skill (Zombark)
Zombark allows its own body to rot, poisoning its target. Immobilizes Zombark, lowering its defense and preventing it from evading attacks.

Release
Possession Skill
Amenosnek leaves its possessed vessel, returning to spirit form.

Chomp the Doctor!

THE SHARIF DON'T LIKE IT

ooger posted...

Chomp the Doctor!