Current Events > Do you have a joint account with your SO?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Me and the wife have a joint account where all bills etc are paid from.

We then have our own for personal stuff. Every month we put in X amount into the joint account. X into savings and the rest is ours. I see a lot of people saying joint accounts are bad. Do you use them?

Absolutely the fuck not.

Absolutely....

Yep we have a joint checking account that bills are paid out of, we also share a credit card that's used for most regular purchases.

I have 4 accounts...

Joint Savings
Joint Checking attached to our debit cards that we use for our day to day purchases (groceries, toiletries, etc)
Joint Checking used strictly for household bills (Mortgage, Cable, Electric, etc.)

Then I have a solo account that's attached to all my "online payment methods" Paypal, Venmo, Zelle, etc. I basically use it for hobby sales and purchases.

I do (as a married couple), both our paychecks deposit into the shared and there is a regular "allowance" that pulls out of that into individual accounts so that we can have our "own" money to spend as we wish.

To be married and not just seems crazy to me. I think a lot of it is shifting attitudes on co-habitation in general and that people are less inclined to believe they will be with someone for the long haul and therefore avoid going all in (which of course just perpetuates the eventual failure of the union). I'm pretty sure money is still the number one thing couples fight over and anything avoiding transparency of your finances is just going to make that worse.

Yeah. We stopped caring about who's money was who's before we even got married and had a joint account opened after we got engaged and that's where all our money goes.

Would never. My mom felt justified in taking it but after splitting with her husband she snatched that stimulus check of his as soon as it hit. They hadn't been separated long so he hadn't gotten around to taking her off.

I think her reason was because she bought the washer and dryer in his the oven and even a used van for him when they first got together. Which he still had all of that. She told him I'm keeping the stimulus or I'm taking everything I bought for that house.

He was mad as fuck but he knew she wasn't bluffing

I know guy though he gives 95% of his earnings to his wife he doesn't have access to her account. He just has his job cut him a check for 5% of his pay and he uses strictly cash.

Edit. Oh with my mom and step father I've seen it cause so many arguments where would accuse her of spending too much.

She literally had pull out his statements and show where he was nickle and diming himself getting fast food and multiple sodas and snacks a day when he could just buy the shit from thr grocery store and take it to work with him. He woulda just need to buy a cooler. He drove alot doing his job.

realnifty1 posted...

I do (as a married couple), both our paychecks deposit into the shared and there is a regular "allowance" that pulls out of that into individual accounts so that we can have our "own" money to spend as we wish.

To be married and not just seems crazy to me. I think a lot of it is shifting attitudes on co-habitation in general and that people are less inclined to believe they will be with someone for the long haul and therefore avoid going all in (which of course just perpetuates the eventual failure of the union). I'm pretty sure money is still the number one thing couples fight over and anything avoiding transparency of your finances is just going to make that worse.

Well said

yes

realnifty1 posted...

I do (as a married couple), both our paychecks deposit into the shared and there is a regular "allowance" that pulls out of that into individual accounts so that we can have our "own" money to spend as we wish.

To be married and not just seems crazy to me. I think a lot of it is shifting attitudes on co-habitation in general and that people are less inclined to believe they will be with someone for the long haul and therefore avoid going all in (which of course just perpetuates the eventual failure of the union). I'm pretty sure money is still the number one thing couples fight over and anything avoiding transparency of your finances is just going to make that worse.

+1

We do, but we really just use it to send each other money and as a place for our joint tax return to go. We have very different perspectives on spending, so I would never ever pool my earnings with his.

We have a joint savings account. I pay all of the main bills out of my own account. Not that theres much to pay.

Yes, everything is joint. It would be very strange for us if it wasn't. I made more than her before she stopped working to be a stay at home mom. It would feel weird to pay her essentially an allowance if we held separate accounts.

No, we chose to keep separate

I guess it depends on the people. My brother ended up kicking his wife off his account because she was a major drain on it buying shit they didnt need. Almost every day she'd come back with some silly trinket she or their daughter thought was cute. Or run up a 50 dollar bill getting pizza delivered when thr house had plenty of food.

No she doesn't work so it was all his money

Not combining all your finances as a married couple just doesn't make any sense to me. You'd have to just have a completely, radically and fundamentally different view from me on pretty much everything.

I'll share my DNA with you. I'll literally sleep inches away from you in a house full of murder weapons. Literally exchange body fluids with you to get closer.

But no way are you getting my money. Also it's my house because I bought it and my name is on the deed. >_>

How do you even share goals if you don't share money? Like, how would Mrs. Devsman stay home with the boys without my paycheck? I guess that's just not on the table at all? Or else she would be indebted to me literally forever for most of a decade of living expenses and spending money? Literal debt between spouses. ???

What if YOUR car breaks down; do YOU have to pay for the repairs? So am I allowed to drive it? Do we have to get two sets of car seats so that we can each take the kids places, instead of just keeping one car reserved for their transport?

Why do people want to live such complicated lives..?

Nope. The husband and I have our own accounts. He pays the mortgage out of his, I pay everything else out of mine. We regularly communicate about our finances and occasionally transfer money around, but it's just easier this way (for us).

Joint for bills, everything else is separate.

RetuenOfDevsman posted...

Why do people want to live such complicated lives..?

We each like handling our own money. That's pretty much the short of it. We do collaborate on savings amounts since we save for the same things, we just do it separately. We pay our own shares of the bills, too. That being said, I handle overall household accounting and budgeting because it stresses her out too much.

Yes. I sometimes think I should have kept it separate but I have broken her down a bit and got her to start saving and trying to avoid excessive unneeded expenses.

Separate accounts but we opened a joint account for vacations, etc.

realnifty1 posted...

I do (as a married couple), both our paychecks deposit into the shared and there is a regular "allowance" that pulls out of that into individual accounts so that we can have our "own" money to spend as we wish.

To be married and not just seems crazy to me. I think a lot of it is shifting attitudes on co-habitation in general and that people are less inclined to believe they will be with someone for the long haul and therefore avoid going all in (which of course just perpetuates the eventual failure of the union). I'm pretty sure money is still the number one thing couples fight over and anything avoiding transparency of your finances is just going to make that worse.

Agreed, but we do it the opposite way; deposit into our separate accounts and then transfer to the shared account for bills etc

i know its different in some other states but in wisconsin were my wife and i to divorce are assets would be split 50/50 so it literally does not even matter where the money is

Yes. Checking, savings, and hysa all joint. We don't care who makes more money and we make enough to be able to save a good percentage each month and also spend money on personal things without worrying about who's spending too much.

It's been pretty easy.

Right before we got married, we had asked our brother in law what was the best advice he received for marriage. He told us his pastor(lol) told him to keep all of their money separate. Him and his wife are constantly fighting about who's paying what, who's spending more money, who needs to get a better job, who needs to sell their car because the other can't afford payments any more, etc. Immediately we knew that to take that advice

Xenogears15 posted...

Absolutely the fuck not.

Unless you have a stringent prenup it doesn't matter either way, learn the concept of marital assets. Legally all income belongs to both parties.

voldothegr8 posted...

Unless you have a stringent prenup it doesn't matter either way, learn the concept of marital assets. Legally all income belongs to both parties.

I wouldnt really see why anybody would be so against pooling assets with a spouse anyway.

Ar0ge posted...

Yes. Checking, savings, and hysa all joint. We don't care who makes more money and we make enough to be able to save a good percentage each month and also spend money on personal things without worrying about who's spending too much.

It's been pretty easy.

This. Our checking and savings accounts were originally mine but then converted to joint. We're both pretty stingy in most areas so there isn't much need for allowances.

Ar0ge posted...

Yes. Checking, savings, and hysa all joint. We don't care who makes more money and we make enough to be able to save a good percentage each month and also spend money on personal things without worrying about who's spending too much.

It's been pretty easy.

Right before we got married, we had asked our brother in law what was the best advice he received for marriage. He told us his pastor(lol) told him to keep all of their money separate. Him and his wife are constantly fighting about who's paying what, who's spending more money, who needs to get a better job, who needs to sell their car because the other can't afford payments any more, etc. Immediately we knew that to take that advice

Yep. Same here. Plus, my Wife works from home so she is basically my accountant since she can pay all the bills and manage the money during down time. I dont have to worry about shit, I just keep working and all the bills stay paid. Oh, she has me drop off the gas bill at the City Hall drop box once a month.

Yeah
Joint savings and checking
I have a personal savings and checking

Glob posted...

I wouldnt really see why anybody would be so against pooling assets with a spouse anyway.

If you marry someone financially irresponsible

Mentioned my brothers issue already

Then the co worker I mentioned who willingly gives his money to his wife to an account he can't touch says its because she is far better with money than him and claims it'd his money paying for the house they had built for them but he knew if he had access to the money it woulda never happened.

Sufferedphoenix posted...

If you marry someone financially irresponsible

Mentioned my brothers issue already

Then the co worker I mentioned who willingly gives his money to his wife to an account he can't touch says its because she is far better with money than him and claims it'd his money paying for the house they had built for them but he knew if he had access to the money it woulda never happened.

I also cant see why you would marry somebody who you cant trust with something important. Finances are important.

RetuenOfDevsman posted...

Not combining all your finances as a married couple just doesn't make any sense to me. You'd have to just have a completely, radically and fundamentally different view from me on pretty much everything.

I'll share my DNA with you. I'll literally sleep inches away from you in a house full of murder weapons. Literally exchange body fluids with you to get closer.

But no way are you getting my money. Also it's my house because I bought it and my name is on the deed. >_>

How do you even share goals if you don't share money? Like, how would Mrs. Devsman stay home with the boys without my paycheck? I guess that's just not on the table at all? Or else she would be indebted to me literally forever for most of a decade of living expenses and spending money? Literal debt between spouses. ???

What if YOUR car breaks down; do YOU have to pay for the repairs? So am I allowed to drive it? Do we have to get two sets of car seats so that we can each take the kids places, instead of just keeping one car reserved for their transport?

Why do people want to live such complicated lives..?

Yeah this pretty much. Especially with kids involved.

We have a joint account to pay stuff, but most of the checks go into our personal accounts. As long as we pay the bills, we each use our money as we see fit. Though my wife makes a bit more and its more trigger happy spending which is fine by me, but dampens plans to remodel the house.

What if YOUR car breaks down; do YOU have to pay for the repairs? So am I allowed to drive it? Do we have to get two sets of car seats so that we can each take the kids places, instead of just keeping one car reserved for their transport?

Why do people want to live such complicated lives..?

We each pay for our own cars stuff, except if one person is short on cash then we help each other.

Glob posted...

I also cant see why you would marry somebody who you cant trust with something important. Finances are important.

Ever hear the saying love is blind?
My brother and his wife get along really well on a personality level they also have a child. He's not gonna leave her willingly.

They got their flaws. But I think they got a great family dynamic. He has provided a game console to himself her and his child and they will literally all be on at the same time playing as a team in a game online. They all go out and do stuff together on a regular basis. He just literally could not afford to afford her spending habits. I know him well enough to know he'd be fine with it could he afford it.

He did what he had to for the sake of the family as a whole. She's just really impulsive. She never really goes out looking something to buy. Just she sees something and wants it she will get it if she can.

voldothegr8 posted...

Unless you have a stringent prenup it doesn't matter either way, learn the concept of marital assets. Legally all income belongs to both parties.

See my next post. We understand the concept, we just like handling our own money.

We each retained the checking accounts and credit cards we came into the marriage with, and we roughly split major or recurring expenses. Our investment accounts are joint, where possible. No savings accounts. We recently created a small (not planning to exceed $1000) shared joint checking account linked to Venmo, for fraud isolation.
EDIT: As others have said, nothing is separate for trust or hedging reasons. We just never bothered to merge and it's working out this way. We have a shared spreadsheet of our finances.

No, that would be a conflict of interest between myself and my superior officer.

We have separate accounts but theyre connected. All the house and grocery bills come out of mine and then I just tally it up once a month and she transfers her half over to my account.

We both have vastly different savings/spendings/earnings. She makes like double what I make and saves nothing. I save a lot. I'm older but odds are I'm retiring well before her.

Sufferedphoenix posted...

Ever hear the saying love is blind?
My brother and his wife get along really well on a personality level they also have a child. He's not gonna leave her willingly.

They got their flaws. But I think they got a great family dynamic. He has provided a game console to himself her and his child and they will literally all be on at the same time playing as a team in a game online. They all go out and do stuff together on a regular basis. He just literally could not afford to afford her spending habits. I know him well enough to know he'd be fine with it could he afford it.

He did what he had to for the sake of the family as a whole. She's just really impulsive. She never really goes out looking something to buy. Just she sees something and wants it she will get it if she can.

Good for them if theyre happy, but I just wouldnt be with somebody like that myself. Different strokes I guess. Some of my colleagues think Im mad for being with somebody who earns so much less than me, but it doesnt bother me at all. I guess we all have different hang ups.