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Current Events > Catholic preist faces backlash for saying Jesus had an erection when crucified.

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UnfairRepresent
08/24/24 4:25:18 AM
#1:


A Catholic priest has been reprimanded after telling his stunned worshippers that Jesus Christ had an erection when he died on the cross.

Father Thomas McHale, the priest at Our Blessed Lady Immaculate in Blackhill, Consett, County Durham, took to the pulpit as normal on Good Friday.

However, the 53-year-old, who is from America, is understood to have told the congregation, roughly 100 Catholic residents, that blood would have rushed to the lower body of Jesus as a result of the violent execution method of crucifixion.

A parishioner told The Times: 'He told people Jesus died with an erection. The church was shocked. There were young families there.'

Father McHale is understood to have not lost his job despite complaints from parishioners about the 'vulgar' Easter weekend sermon.

A spokesman for the diocese of Hexham & Newcastle told the publication: 'A complaint was received and has been investigated in keeping with our diocesan complaints policy. The investigation has been very recently completed and the complaint is upheld.'

In April, a Catholic ministry hastily pulled the plug on the world's first 'AI priest' after it suggested baptizing a baby in Gatorade and solemnly advised one woman on how to prepare for marriage to her brother.

Full Article: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13407635/Catholic-priest-stuns-worshippers-telling-Christ-erection-died-cross.html

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/1fa6eece.jpg

I mean there's a decent chance he was right, there is a known established history of this happening to people during executions.

But who the fuck asked? Why would you say that to your congregation? You have no way of knowing for sure and it has no basis on the religious idealogy.

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Baron_Ox
08/24/24 4:30:36 AM
#2:


probably makes sense, biologically speaking (I don't feel like checking), but that's kinda inappropriate due to the environment.

if it was in a classroom, talking about how executions might affect people's bodies, then it would make sense, or if you wanted to share some "interesting" facts.

in this case, though...

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ROBANN_88
08/24/24 4:30:52 AM
#3:


What the hell does the part about AI have to do with any of the rest?

And, of course
There gotta be an original erection for there to be a reserection

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dummy420
08/24/24 4:41:52 AM
#4:


Was this when he told the church to rise in the name of the lord?

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Smashingpmkns
08/24/24 4:42:36 AM
#5:


Jesus was a masochist confirmed

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Foppe
08/24/24 4:53:08 AM
#6:


We have to remember the ugly truth... Jesus died for our sins while having an erection!

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BrohammedAli
08/24/24 4:55:30 AM
#7:


Smashingpmkns posted...
Jesus was a masochist confirmed

everyone knows the Lord is primarily a Service Top.

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BDSMKane
08/24/24 4:57:39 AM
#8:


Wow, Christianity just got interesting.

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TomClark
08/24/24 5:00:37 AM
#9:


Just because you're probably right, doesn't mean you need to say it.


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nocturnal_traveler
08/24/24 5:09:09 AM
#10:


I wonder if he was trying to get fired? If so, he didn't get his wish.

The AI part seems out of left field, but quite funny.

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Mad-Dogg
08/24/24 5:10:37 AM
#11:


UnfairRepresent posted...
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/1fa6eece.jpg


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Ranlom
08/24/24 5:18:09 AM
#12:


He has risen

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Turbam
08/24/24 5:20:28 AM
#13:


UnfairRepresent posted...
In April, a Catholic ministry hastily pulled the plug on the world's first 'AI priest' after it suggested baptizing a baby in Gatorade and solemnly advised one woman on how to prepare for marriage to her brother.
Based

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GrandConjuraton
08/24/24 5:26:13 AM
#14:


preist

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Ricemills
08/24/24 5:27:24 AM
#15:


Ranlom posted...
He has risen

Heh

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#16
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Nukazie
08/24/24 6:23:07 AM
#17:


how was jesus crucified if he was rock hard

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AceMos
08/24/24 6:28:46 AM
#18:


ok yea this is stupid but can we hear more about this AI priest

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BlueKat
08/24/24 6:34:27 AM
#19:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Freudian slip there...

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Shotgunnova
08/24/24 6:39:13 AM
#20:


UnfairRepresent posted...
In April, a Catholic ministry hastily pulled the plug on the world's first 'AI priest' after it suggested baptizing a baby in Gatorade and solemnly advised one woman on how to prepare for marriage to her brother.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/628098cc.jpg

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Foppe
08/24/24 6:45:19 AM
#21:


I mean, have you read te Bible?
It got rape, multiple times, incest, murder (many innocent), mutilation, sex (!), a bear slaughtering 42 kids because they made fun of a guy being bald, infant killing, dismembered bodyparts, genocide, cannibalism, etc etc. All this are alright but an erect penis is where they draw the line?

I opened the Bible at a random page and got Dinah. She got raped by a prince that later returned to her father and wanted to marry her. He knew about the rape, and allowed the wedding if the prince and every male mutilated their penises. They did. After the wedding, the father and his many sons killed the prince and every male in the city, raped every woman and took the women and children as slaves.
I mean, there are strange lines drawn here...

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The_Korey
08/24/24 6:47:12 AM
#22:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/4c78666e.png

Yeah. That definitely the face of someone who kould not wait to share this with a kongregation.

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DarkMarc009
08/24/24 6:53:13 AM
#23:


Foppe posted...
I mean, have you read te Bible?
It got rape, multiple times, incest, murder (many innocent), mutilation, sex (!), a bear slaughtering 42 kids because they made fun of a guy being bald, infant killing, dismembered bodyparts, genocide, cannibalism, etc etc. All this are alright but an erect penis is where they draw the line?

I opened the Bible at a random page and got Dinah. She got raped by a prince that later returned to her father and wanted to marry her. He knew about the rape, and allowed the wedding if the prince and every male mutilated their penises. They did. After the wedding, the father and his many sons killed the prince and every male in the city, raped every woman and took the women and children as slaves.
I mean, there are strange lines drawn here...
You make a good point. Clearly, we should be teaching this book to children.
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lilORANG
08/24/24 6:59:56 AM
#24:


Meh. We weren't there. Can't say for sure. This isn't any weirder than the cannibalism practiced by Catholics weekly.

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UnfairRepresent
08/24/24 7:03:25 AM
#25:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

It *is* a thing

I remember being taught it happened a lot during hangings

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UnfairRepresent
08/24/24 7:05:55 AM
#26:


lilORANG posted...
This isn't any weirder than the cannibalism practiced by Catholics weekly.
You know they're not eating people right?

it's bread and wine

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The_Popo
08/24/24 7:20:25 AM
#27:


https://youtu.be/qNQVLtqOcrc

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ROBANN_88
08/24/24 7:29:55 AM
#28:


UnfairRepresent posted...
You know they're not eating people right?

it's bread and wine
I don't know if it's practiced now, but in medieval/Renaissance time, some denominations believe that it literally turns into the blood and flesh of christ

It might have been discussed in either the Reformation or the Ecumenical councils
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_presence_of_Christ_in_the_Eucharist

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Baron_Ox
08/24/24 7:56:01 AM
#29:


UnfairRepresent posted...
You know they're not eating people right?

it's bread and wine
iirc, when Christian missionaries first tried to "spread the Gospel", they had a difficult time converting people in some countries because it took them a little while to understand the concept of transubstantiation

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PeteyParker
08/24/24 7:58:35 AM
#30:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJbgBQQgpaA

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DnDer
08/24/24 8:01:21 AM
#31:


UnfairRepresent posted...
It *is* a thing

I remember being taught it happened a lot during hangings

So, when someone is well-hanged, everyone looking on would definitely be able to tell if the condemned was well-hung?

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Persona
08/24/24 8:13:01 AM
#32:


congregation be like "how could he say that"

nobody be like "let him cook"

what's his game plan, his endgame

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Sayoria
08/24/24 8:15:55 AM
#33:


Priests just love talking about sex.

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Irony
08/24/24 8:17:12 AM
#34:


Everyone there probably did

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Cemith
08/24/24 8:32:48 AM
#35:


Praise be to be bricked up on the cross

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Ulfar
08/24/24 8:37:38 AM
#36:


Angel lust
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Foppe
08/24/24 8:45:45 AM
#37:


Ulfar posted...
Angel lust
Now that is my kind of poison.

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Hyena_Of_Ice
08/24/24 8:57:59 AM
#38:


that blood would have rushed to the lower body of Jesus as a result of the violent execution method of crucifixion.

Okay, I do not and have never owned a penis, but I'm going to wager a guess that it really doesn't work this way.
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Hyena_Of_Ice
08/24/24 9:12:21 AM
#39:


Foppe posted...
I mean, have you read te Bible?
It got rape, multiple times, incest, murder (many innocent), mutilation, sex (!), a bear slaughtering 42 kids because they made fun of a guy being bald, infant killing, dismembered bodyparts, genocide, cannibalism, etc etc. All this are alright but an erect penis is where they draw the line?

I opened the Bible at a random page and got Dinah. She got raped by a prince that later returned to her father and wanted to marry her. He knew about the rape, and allowed the wedding if the prince and every male mutilated their penises. They did. After the wedding, the father and his many sons killed the prince and every male in the city, raped every woman and took the women and children as slaves.
I mean, there are strange lines drawn here...

Don't forget where God compares the Israelites' idolatry to an adulterous wife who "shuns her own people" and only has sex with big-dicked foreigners. Then God describes how the adulterous Israel will be raped, mugged, her breasts chopped off (yes, seriously), then she's lit on fire, and finally hacked to pieces by an angry mob of her former lovers, and how this is totally just and deserved. Yes, fucking seriously.

Speaking of chopping off body parts, though not nearly as sick (at least the victims were dead... I hope...), people back then (both Iseaelite and non-Israelite) chopped off the foreskins of their "kills" to keep as trophies.
Imagine a couple of barbarians stabbing each other as they fight over who gets to keep a dead enemy soldier's foreskin -- you know it happened.

Oh, yeah, parents could bring their lazy teenage son before the council for judgement to determined whether or not he's eligible to be stoned to death for being disobedient. How sick would you have to be to apply to have your own son executed for being consistently disobedient? Egads, our entire species were nothing but a bunch of sociopathic savages, back then. How does it feel knowing that these kinds of people were your ancestors, CE?
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ZevLoveDOOM
08/24/24 9:13:22 AM
#40:


we do not kink shame Jeebus in this house!
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#41
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Fluttershy
08/24/24 9:20:15 AM
#43:


I'm going to wager a guess that it really doesn't work this way

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection

Other causes of death may also result in these effects, including fatal gunshots to the head, damage to major blood vessels, and violent death by poisoning. A postmortem priapism is an indicator that death was likely swift and violent.

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Foppe
08/24/24 9:32:55 AM
#44:


Hyena_Of_Ice posted...
Speaking of chopping off body parts, though not nearly as sick (at least the victims were dead... I hope...), people back then (both Iseaelite and non-Israelite) chopped off the foreskins of their "kills" to keep as trophies.
Imagine a couple of barbarians stabbing each other as they fight over who gets to keep a dead enemy soldier's foreskin -- you know it happened.
My favorite is the last story in the Book of Judges, a man hunts down his escaped second bride and stays the night at a town. The men in the town comes to the house where he stays and demands that he comes out, because they want to rape him.
So he throws out his second wife and locks the door. The angry mob rapes her to death and goes home.
The next day, he takes the dead body with him home, chops it up in 12 pieces and sends it to the 12 elders of the 12 tribes, as a "look what that town did to my wife!".

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SSj4Wingzero
08/24/24 10:18:12 AM
#45:


ROBANN_88 posted...
And, of course
There gotta be an original erection for there to be a reserection

10/10

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UnfairRepresent
08/24/24 11:15:12 AM
#46:


The_Popo posted...
https://youtu.be/qNQVLtqOcrc
Apparently they censor the "Catholic " on streaming services

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Irony
08/24/24 11:15:50 AM
#47:


UnfairRepresent posted...
Apparently they censor the "Catholic " on streaming services
That just makes it more dirty

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divot1338
08/24/24 11:28:56 AM
#48:


BrohammedAli posted...
everyone knows the Lord is primarily a Service Top.
*idly googles*

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Hyena_Of_Ice
08/24/24 11:36:41 AM
#49:


Fluttershy posted...
I'm going to wager a guess that it really doesn't work this way

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection

Other causes of death may also result in these effects, including fatal gunshots to the head, damage to major blood vessels, and violent death by poisoning. A postmortem priapism is an indicator that death was likely swift and violent.

Yeah, Jesus's death definitely was not this. They forced him to carry his cross to the hill while flogging him, then they hammer nails through his wrists and ankles. Do note that when Jesus was initially hoisted on the cross, he and the other two condemned were in decent enough shape to hold a conversation. Then after Jesus bakes in the sun for awhile and one of the female NPCs gives Jesus some vinegar to sip from a sea sponge (or was it a rag?), a Roman soldier stabs him in the liver.
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UnfairRepresent
08/24/24 12:07:41 PM
#50:


Hyena_Of_Ice posted...
Roman soldier stabs him in the liver.
Talk about the Spear of Longinus

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Ricemills
08/24/24 12:13:12 PM
#51:


Hyena_Of_Ice posted...
Yeah, Jesus's death definitely was not this. They forced him to carry his cross to the hill while flogging him, then they hammer nails through his wrists and ankles. Do note that when Jesus was initially hoisted on the cross, he and the other two condemned were in decent enough shape to hold a conversation. Then after Jesus bakes in the sun for awhile and one of the female NPCs gives Jesus some vinegar to sip from a sea sponge (or was it a rag?), a Roman soldier stabs him in the liver.

From that article:

In popular culture
  • In The Sexuality of Christ in Renaissance Art and in Modern Oblivion,[6] art historian and critic Leo Steinberg alleges that a number of Renaissance era artists depicted Jesus Christ with an emphasis on his genitalia including after the crucifixion with a post-mortem erection a motif which Steinberg named ostentatio genitalium. The artwork was suppressed by the Roman Catholic Church for several centuries

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