Current Events > My dad isn't doing well

(+) Yeah! (+)

Trying not to worry too much because its useless. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in November, he did radiation and finished that up a month ago. Started chemo and was doing fine, but stopped eating suddenly. Had to take an ambulance to the hospital today. Pneumonia in both lungs. Im trying not to be down about shit because I havent allowed myself to give in to sadness or feel anything bad this whole time. I have kind of thought that if I was strong then he can be strong, and I think its kind of worked. I encourage him when hes been sad when I drive him to his radiation every day, and when he was scared about chemo and its been so fucking hard. Probably the hardest thing Ive ever gone through and thats saying a lot

I just feel like a mess tonight. He doesnt want anyone to come to the hospital tonight and I get that. I dont want to go up there either, Im sick of hospitals, and hes tired of having people gawking at him and hes uncomfortable. Fuccck. I just hope this isnt the end because I have felt like hes going to pull through this the whole time. I wasnt even that sad when he was diagnosed because I just felt like he was going to be ok, and I was so confident. I told him that even, and now I feel like an asshole.

Im so sorry youre going through that. It sounds really awful. But if I were you Id be at that hospital right now.

Prayers to you pal. I just lost my dad almost 2 years ago and it's a shock to the system. He was the first of my immediate family to pass. Not a great feeling.

I'd say make your peace with him. Visit and talk to him as much as possible. You don't want to hold anything back as you never know when the next time is the last time. I wish I could have said somethings that now I'll have to hold on to for the rest of my life. Don't make the same mistake.

Good luck bro.

yea, I'm sorry you're both experiencing that, and I agree you should be at the hospital, if you can

I cant do overnights at the hospital with my back unfortunately. Im disabled. And hes going to be there tomorrow. Im going to go there, also the roads are frozen and my truck is a rear wheel sadly. Ill go up there with my son when he gets out of school. I dont want to upset him either, he really would be upset with a bunch of visitors because he is so stubborn. He does not like visitors. We have got to spend a lot of time together though, I have taken him to radiation every weekday in November and all of his chemotherapy appointments so far as well.

Im going to try to manifest him being well by continuing my normal life until my son gets out of school tomorrow and then going up there. Hell just have to get over it then I suppose lol.

Thanks for the support guys. Honestly.

SMT_Masochist posted...

Prayers to you pal. I just lost my dad almost 2 years ago and it's a shock to the system. He was the first of my immediate family to pass. Not a great feeling.

I'd say make your peace with him. Visit and talk to him as much as possible. You don't want to hold anything back as you never know when the next time is the last time. I wish I could have said somethings that now I'll have to hold on to for the rest of my life. Don't make the same mistake.

Good luck bro.

Sorry you lost your dad. That is awful. I really hope mine pulls through. He looked really good about a week and a half ago I think the chemotherapy is what is kicking his ass. He needs to eat for one but food just isnt appealing.

MotaroRIP619 posted...

Sorry you lost your dad. That is awful. I really hope mine pulls through. He looked really good about a week and a half ago I think the chemotherapy is what is kicking his ass. He needs to eat for one but food just isnt appealing.

While it's pretty possible he will pull through this round of pneumonia, lung cancer is pretty rough. Has he spoken to you at all about his oncology team's expectations for the future? Given that you didn't mention surgery I am assuming he has had a terminal prognosis right from the get-go

My mom was diagnosed with Stage IV spinal cancer a little over a year ago and has fought harder than any human being I've met. She got pneumonia once, sepsis once, all sensation in her legs for two months (it came back) and keeps fighting like hell, but there isn't much left in the tank, I can tell.

Fuck cancer so much man. Forever.

It sounds like youre being there and hold his hand metaphorically (and physically if he wants it). Thats good. It sucks one day we all will be able to relate to your father in some way, and for you it sucks even more that your fathers time is now.

They think it is treatable but they have to shrink it down. The location of the tumor makes it impossible to do surgery though. They did say that they think that it is a very treatable cancer though because they caught it super early. They seem to think he has a decent chance of pulling through from what Ive gathered.

Hoping for the best for your dad. Also, being sad doesn't mean you're not strong still. A brave face is good and all, but you feel what you feel, and that's ok. It's ok to be worried, and he understands that. I know you do, but just let him know you love him. That'll give him just as much strength as a brave face would.

SMT_Masochist posted...

I just lost my dad almost 2 years ago

condolences, it's been about 10-11 years ago since i lost my dad. he got a stroke one night. tried to plead to him to go to the hospital and he wouldn't. lasted until day 3 when he went to the bathroom and keeled over on the bathroom floor. my uncle found him (very emotional night).

lost my uncle in april last year. he went crazy from taking a dose of meth (he had the psychosis before when he taken it). stayed up for 4 days until he decided to end himself with a gun because of the voices he was hearing

and as a bonus, learned my mom died from COPD one year (natural causes) she has been sick for a long time but i made peace with her for not being in my life since middle school.

You're doing a great job in the toughest of circumstances.

Take care of yourself, and best wishes to you and your dad.

My brother was up there this evening, which does make me feel better. I dont know if he stayed overnight. We kind of share the load on things, he works full time so he cant take him to his appointments, but if I have something come up he takes him to appointments when I cant because I do have my son full time and sometimes stuff does come up. He is really great for real, they probably watched some of the playoffs if dad was feeling up to it. He helps dad with his sports gambling which I dont know shit about, I watch for the game. I hope they got to watch some of it. I need to get to bed, I gotta be up early but I am anxious.

I'm rooting for him.

My well wishes to him.

He had been improving, until this morning. He started puking blood, they had to sedate him and hes going to be sedated until he can get better but it does not look good. We got the scary phone call today from the hospital. Its crazy because he looked and sounded so good yesterday. They said the next 24 hours are crucial.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Thank you.

They are flying him to another hospital now that they think can do a surgery that will close up his lung. He started bleeding again, it was bad. I guess blood was coming out of the tubes. Theyre going to try to cauterize the lung from the inside. Idfk.

Still hoping for the best. They'll be doing everything they can.

Hope your dad is able to pull through TC. All you can do is be there with him as he fights. I'm sure he's happy to have you there.

I hope everything works out for your dad!! I hope he pulls through this and never have to deal with it again! Take care of yourself too TC!

Cancer fucking sucks.

Sorry to hear and what ever comes, I hope it pans out well.

Best wishes mate. Look after yourself too, it's easy to forget about yourself when things are tough so please make sure you try your best to stay well fed, hydrated, and get as much rest as you can (the latter's always the hardest, especially when you're lying in bed with the lights off).

That fucking sucks. Hope your dad pulls through.

WTF is going on at that hospital, man. I would never put a breathing tube into someone in that situation just to do what sounds like stretching things out for another couple of days. If he legit was bleeding from his lungs, I don't really understand what they're trying to achieve with this other proposed (interventional radiology maybe?) procedure.
People so focused on saving lives they are completely forgetting about saving deaths

I lost my mom last year and it is hard. I hope your dad can recover, but do not pass up this opportunity to spend time with him, be by his side, even if you're just sharing some fun stories for nostalgia's sake or maybe watching a TV show you both enjoy or playing some Monopoly or something.

It can be hard but you do also need to make sure you know what he wants for when he does pass. We still don't really know what my mom wanted and I've heard half a dozen different stories about it and thankfully her husband is like there to take care of her ashes for now but I don't know what to do if anything happens to him.

And if you have family make a group chat and be active and talk to each other, too, if you aren't already.

Sorry for sounding preachy but it is hard and like it's way too easy to let opportunities pass by.

I seriously hope he gets better.

I hope your dad pulls through and kicks this thing to the curb.

His surgery went perfectly and now they are tapering him off of some of the meds. It was kind of a Hail Mary and hes still in induced sedation so they are going to see how it goes with pulling him out of that. Theyre pretty optimistic that the bleeding should stop now. We had to have a really tough call to even have the surgery today and I think Im glad we did. There are some risks about what state he will be in when he comes out of this all, but they said we should try to be optimistic.

That sounds encouraging. Glad things went well.

KogaSteelfang posted...

That sounds encouraging. Glad things went well.

Thank you!

Sounds like some good news, glad to hear!!

Glad things are looking up.

Fabulous to hear my friend. It's always one step at a time but this sounds like a pretty big step forward.

Keep your chin up and be yourself, sounds like you're telling your dad the good news so be happy to do so.

As you've seen mate, we've all got your back. Once again, best of luck.

Hopefully his health continues to improve.

GGuirao13 posted...

Hopefully his health continues to improve.

hoping for the best tc

My dad passed away this evening, he had been getting better every day but had a bad night. It was a tough day.

Damnit!!

I'm so sorry TC!!

RIP

TC I'm so sorry to hear that.

I lost my Mom to lung cancer back in 2013 - so I can relate a bit to how you're feeling. It doesn't feel real. I didn't have a big cry for days and days.

Do whatever you need to do to grieve. There's no right or wrong way to be feeling right now.

I'm already crying, but I'll lament for you as well

I'm very sorry Motaro.

Im so, so sorry TC.

I hope you are as gentle with yourself as you were with your father.

I'm very sorry

I'm so sorry

I'm really sorry to hear about all this TC. There's no platitude that can make loss easy. Just know as corny as it sounds it really does get a little better and a little easier each day.