Current Events > Ever feel like a failure you never got married and in your 40s?

(+) Yeah! (+)

TuxedoCyan posted...

Try focusing on other things that make you happy instead of focusing on something that you either can't obtain or have too much trouble obtaining.

And I say this as someone that would really really like to be in a relationship. (I feel like my libido is that of a 20 year old.) I know very well that 99% of adult women out there would not tolerate my current lifestyle and I don't want to just get laid or have a one night stand. So I just have to focus on myself instead. I exercise daily and play video games and watch tv. That's what I enjoy doing and I'm just going to stick to it until I am forced to change.

I hate the fact that I'm getting older and are missing out on a potential youthful relationship. I don't want to be in my first relationship at age 60+ (I already feel like 40+ is too late). But at the same time, I don't care enough to do anything about it. *shrug*

We just have to accept the fact that not everyone has someone out there for them. Sometimes life sucks. Play the hand your are dealt.

Only quoting this as it's your most recent message. Be honest and say you are trying to improve yourself. You'll find girls who dig that. Women aren't a monolith. Chat online first, since you seem so shy.

KogaSteelfang posted...

What if what I want to do is to date someone, but can't?

Just chat with someone. I'm not the most attractive guy, but apparently I had several girls behind the scenes that liked me. Only knew because a bestie knew all of the gossip at my store.

You are fucking awesome. Stop denying that is what I wish to say.

chaos_knight posted...

Only quoting this as it's your most recent message. Be honest and say you are trying to improve yourself. You'll find girls who dig that. Women aren't a monolith. Chat online first, since you seem so shy.

Nah I'm never going to pursue a gf until I have a job and a car and my own place, which at the moment I have no plans on ever having. It would be absolutely foolish of me to try dating right now as I am. I am not trying to improve myself and to say that I was, would be a lie. I had an online/long distance relationship for 4-5 years and she tried her best to help me improve myself and I never did so she gave up on me and left me. There is no reason for me to repeat that again.

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Bumping with a platitude. Nice

Always better to try and be positive to others, especially nowadays

Entering mid forties and getting close to the twenty year point for marriage. Two kids, a mortgage, realizing I am one of the last to live out the traditional american family. I work pretty long hours but also make a fairly decent salary, clearing six figures now in a non tech field. I may get basically no personal time (not including sleep I have around two hours of down time a day when I get home and usually work six days a week 12+hours). It is tough but things economically aren't really going to get better likely in my lifetime. Just keep pushing forward, things suck but occasionally you get something nice out of life. It took a while and had to work on me but I might even get to retire even with the way the world is going and my kids are turning out pretty good, even getting to take beach vacations every year and not just be on shoestring budget. And it isn't like I was born wealthy, I have been homeless and money always was random when I was young on whether my dad had got in a fist fight with his current boss or not. Rambling aside, it never gets easy and you never feel like you have made it but if you work hard and dig down deep you can at least taste a somewhat better life.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Now I feel bad. Sorry, I just assumed a 2 day bump to be something more nefarious.

Well Im 45, not married but have been with the love of my life for decades with no plans to necessarily ever games married so no I dont feel like a failure there. Perhaps in other areas.

Cory898 posted...

Well Im 45, not married but have been with the love of my life for decades with no plans to necessarily ever games married so no I dont feel like a failure there. Perhaps in other areas.

Why not get married? Seems like you essentially are.

Early/mid 30s, but no. Took quite a while to get to that point though. I'm at a point where I'm doing what I want, so I can't really be mad at that. While it would be nice to have a partner again, I don't feel like my life is incomplete.

chaos_knight posted...

If it helps, I graduated from college and work at Walmart. In the same boat.

I work at Walmart too.

chaos_knight posted...

If it helps, I graduated from college and work at Walmart. In the same boat.

I had a meager graphics design degree and was able to find a better job than Walmart. I think if you look in unexpected places you'll find something better. Unless you like Walmart. Ignore this then.

Not really. I always wanted to be married, however, and fortunately I'll get to soon since I'm engaged for the first time.

I should try to date but I'm stuck living with my dad (California rent be like that) so that feels like any dating I do will be DoA

Not in my 40s, but yeah sort of. All of my cousins are married. Like on my Moms side and my Dads side. I have like 9 cousins.

The-Apostle posted...

Not really. I always wanted to be married, however, and fortunately I'll get to soon since I'm engaged for the first time.

Congrats! How old are you btw? And do you have a wedding date?

bsp77 posted...

Congrats! How old are you btw? And do you have a wedding date?

I'm 46, and not yet because we need to find an apartment first.