Current Events > I'm probably gonna get in trouble over a woman at work

(+) Yeah! (+)

"Hello, HR?" The topic.

This sounds like a really good idea, keep it up.

Stupid if true. Why are you shitting where you eat?

This can either go well or horribly. The choice is yours.

I would be exceptionally careful ... or even just, you know, not.

It could be possible you're seeing things that aren't there and she just wants to work with you professionally.

Worst case is you date and then stop dating. That shit is not fun.

But this is just creepy behavior. Dating you direct employees is a bad idea.

Hows the ass

but seriously dont do this if you value your future at this company

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

This in particular is a big "hell no" from me. Flirting with or starting a relationship with a coworker is one thing, but actively involving your position at work (in a dishonest way, no less) in the process of trying to date them is a red flag.

This sounds as bad as the first time you brought this up a few weeks ago. Its not just a co-worker where there are no issues with supervisor dynamics. Its someone assigned under you to train right? Its like Dont do this 101 and you know it.

Actually I'm re-evaluating what I said, don't do it. I misread and didn't realize you were employing her. Don't do it. Thats an abuse of power to put it mildly.

Don't shit where you sleep, yo

Yeah, you could potentially get the company sued over that shit.

Run, run away now

Generally speaking I find the idea that people shouldn't pursue relationships at work a bit silly in this society that has done away with many of the places and opportunities for people to meet organically, but...

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


That's gonna be a no from me dog

Are you her supervisor, or training her in any capacity? If yes in any way, don't. And if you are and you actually try anything you deserve to be fired.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


You can't actually be this naive...

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Even if you don't think thats the case, she might and may feel coerced into it. It would look bad on you even if your intentions were genuine.

If you really don't want to make a mess of it but still want to persue her the better thing to do would to wait till shes on your team and has been there a while so you will be on equal footing.

TC, you say she wants to be on your team.

TC, you say you have dropped hints you want a private relationship with her.

This is not a match.

Hopefully she has the common sense and disinterest to reject you if you go through with it.

Don't do it, she might have bad intentions

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Then its coercion into a relationship she might not want. Again the logical thing to do is simply not do it or wait till you are both on equal ground.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


It's not about sex. And you know this.

Sonic_Cannon posted...

This in particular is a big "hell no" from me. Flirting with or starting a relationship with a coworker is one thing, but actively involving your position at work (in a dishonest way, no less) in the process of trying to date them is a red flag.

Yeah, this. Dating a coworker is risky but nothing wrong with it. Doing this though... yeah, has some yikes vibes.

So....should we start saving up for TC's bail now or just tell him we told him so when he gets his 1 phone call?

Dont listen to cancel culture tc, life is short you gotta take risks sometime. If it was up to people on this board youd never date anyone

There's taking chances and then there is being the creep they warn you about in the mandatory harassment training video.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Er. The point is you're in a position of trust and authority. Just the appearance of quid pro quo or any impropriety is you in the wrong.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Could do a lot worse than just fire you mate.

What the fuck is this topic

taking the coworker you want to fuck for a mock interview during work hours is how you get fired

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


And that would be an instant firing and blacklisting in my profession. Its massively inappropriate. Stop being a creep.

I dont know man.

self control?

Nobody to blame but yourself when this goes bad

In Japan some companies actually encourage you to date your coworkers (they have intra-company dating events). I find it interesting how anti dating coworkers so many people are.

https://japantoday.com/category/features/lifestyle/over-75-percent-of-japanese-women-say-they%E2%80%99ve-slept-with-a-male-coworker-survey

This like a copy of tc's walmart girl topics where everybody was telling him no and he did it anyway. I don't think it actually matters in any way what CE thinks. Hope it goes better than that, I guess.

ssjevot posted...

In Japan some companies actually encourage you to date your coworkers (they have intra-company dating events). I find it interesting how anti dating coworkers so many people are.

https://japantoday.com/category/features/lifestyle/over-75-percent-of-japanese-women-say-they%E2%80%99ve-slept-with-a-male-coworker-survey

Dating coworkers is fine to me. It can very easily become a shitshow, but as a concept its fine.

This is not simply dating a coworker tho. Tc inviting a coworker out on a lunch date under the guise of a mock interview is crossing several lines, not to mention the implication that theres a power imbalance.

If youre gonna get after your coworker, do NOT go on dates during work hours and claim its work related

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

You're literally using your position of power to "interview" her with underlying intentions.

__aCEr__ posted...

There's taking chances and then there is being the creep they warn you about in the mandatory harassment training video.

This. Dont be the creep from the mandatory training videos

Also in my personal experience, people who drop hints at personal interest and think the woman is being receptive is literally just her trying to be cordial

especially if said person is the difference between getting into a team you want to work with and not

ssb_yunglink2 posted...

Also in my personal experience, people who drop hints at personal interest and think the woman is being receptive is literally just her trying to be cordial

especially if said person is the difference between getting into a team you want to work with and not

There's actually an entire theory on why men do this so much:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Error_management_theory

Males
One of the aims of error management theory is to explain sexual overperception bias.[6] Sexual overperception occurs when a type I error is committed by an individual. An individual committing this type error falsely concludes that someone else has a sexual interest in them.[6] Research has shown that males are more likely than females to commit sexual overperception bias men tend to overestimate women's sexual interest while women tend to underestimate men's.[6] This is theorised to be likely due to the fact that the reproductive costs of sexual underperception are greater for men than the risk of making false positives.[6] Men who perceive themselves as especially high in mate value are especially prone to experiencing this phenomenon. In addition, men who are also more inclined to pursue a short term mating strategy exhibit a more prominent case of sexual overperception bias.[7]: 334