Current Events > I'm probably gonna get in trouble over a woman at work

(+) Yeah! (+)

OniLink5000 posted...

Unfortunately people forget that you're there to make money. Friendship is secondary.

If you can manage it, it's nice. But ultimately you might find yourself in a tight spot where you're expected to take sides because of the friendship.

This is what I am trying to say in as few words. Thank you.

You also get pulled into cliques and other groups, which will immediately make you at odds with other group(s) just for being associated with the one you're friends with.

It's all more trouble than it's worth, imo. Again, you can be friendly while not being a friend.

Xenogears15 posted...

This is what I am trying to say in as few words. Thank you.

You also get pulled into cliques and other groups, which will immediately make you at odds with other group(s) just for being associated with the one you're friendly with.

It's all more trouble than it's worth, imo. Again, you can be friendly while not being a friend.

I feel like this is only an issue when you're working with a younger crowd of people. Once your coworkers are mostly in their 30s and aren't all playing grab ass with one another then the work place is a lot more chill and you're more easily able to make friends with your coworkers without having to deal with insufferable office drama.

you really need someone who cares about you to intervention you into a mental wellness center or something

i say this completely non judgmentally. you like smash bros right, well i imagine you cant much play smash bros if youre in prison or dead

ai123 posted...

That's a pretty jaded view of friendship, and doesn't tally with my experience at all.

I am talking specifically about workplace friendship. I have wonderful friendships outside of work that have little to no drama, and that's the way I prefer them. And if drama does come up, I love these friends enough to resolve it.

Again, there is a large space between being no one's friend and being constantly in the middle of a soap opera's worth of drama and treachery.

Maybe we have worked in different industries, because to me there is no such difference in my work experience. You're either part of a drama-filled clique, or by yourself minding your own business.

I'm a sociable person, and I enjoy having friendships, even at the cost of the occasional bit of drama, a lot more than I would being an aloof cynic.

To each their own. I just want my fucking peace. Drama is to be avoided for me at all costs.

Dungeater posted...

you really need someone who cares about you to intervention you into a mental wellness center or something

i say this completely non judgmentally. you like smash bros right, well i imagine you cant much play smash bros if youre in prison or dead

I think this is a good example of this debate being industry-specific. Very much so for you you need people who are more invested in your wellbeing, as it is very emotionally taxing to do that. Or to be in a call center of any kind, really.

Xenogears15 posted...

This is what I am trying to say in as few words. Thank you.

You also get pulled into cliques and other groups, which will immediately make you at odds with other group(s) just for being associated with the one you're friends with.

It's all more trouble than it's worth, imo. Again, you can be friendly while not being a friend.

Maybe if your colleagues are all teenagers.

Being friendly with one person doesnt mean you have to be unfriendly to another. Sounds like your workplaces have problems with tribalism and a lack of professionalism.

Xenogears15 posted...

I am talking specifically about workplace friendship. I have wonderful friendships outside of work that have little to no drama, and that's the way I prefer them. And if drama does come up, I love these friends enough to resolve it.

Maybe we have worked in different industries, because to me there is no such difference in my work experience. You're either part of a drama-filled clique, or by yourself minding your own business.

To each their own. I just want my fucking peace. Drama is to be avoided for me at all costs.

You are going to live a very lonely life if you don't make any friendships at all at work. Such a pessimistic view of friendship isn't healthy.

What industry do you work in that creates so much drama? I worked at Target for years and never once was I sucked into drama, and I even worked there with friends I knew before I worked there. And I started working there after I graduated HS, as did most people I worked with.
In fact, when it came to romance people were very discrete. Mainly because no one was try to create drama on purpose or get fired or get talked about.
Are there any consequences for drama where you work ?

you can also, like, not do that tc.

Xenogears15 posted...

I am talking specifically about workplace friendship. I have wonderful friendships outside of work that have little to no drama, and that's the way I prefer them. And if drama does come up, I love these friends enough to resolve it.

That's great.

Maybe we have worked in different industries, because to me there is no such difference in my work experience. You're either part of a drama-filled clique, or by yourself minding your own business.

Probably. I work for a very small company, and we've all known each other for a while. Everyone's chill and there's no drama. Well, sometimes work-related drama, but that will be the clients acting up.

To each their own. I just want my fucking peace. Drama is to be avoided for me at all costs.

'To each their own' is a fine rule to live by. Much better than 'don't make friends'.

Vegy posted...

Don't do it, she might have bad intentions

*facepalm* Holy fuck, this is what you came up with?

Someone definitely has bad intentions, it's just not who you think it is.

sfcalimari posted...

"Hello, HR?" The topic.

Lol

Glob posted...

Yeah, the people who believe that you cant have friends at work are proper fucking weirdos. There seem to be a lot of them on this site. I dont understand where they get the impression that you cant be friends with a colleague.

I agree with this... But I can sort of see where Xeno is coming from. I made great friends when I predominately worked with people close to/my age... And when the people actually wanted to be there.
I've been working at Starbucks for a year and change and have zero interest in being friends with any of these workers. For one, the majority are literally half my age. For another, I am a shift supervisor. It's already damned near impossible to get anyone to give the slightest shit or to do basic tasks. It would be outright impossible and be a recipe for annoying drama if I actually befriended anyone

Glob posted...

Maybe if your colleagues are all teenagers.

I wish that were the case.

Being friendly with one person doesnt mean you have to be unfriendly to another. Sounds like your workplaces have problems with tribalism and a lack of professionalism.

I'm friendly to most people here. I am unkind to none of my coworkers, and even stand up for them if they are being mistreated by clients. I have others come to me for help with work, even. But I keep professional barriers with these folks. You seem to mistake my being professional with being cold, which I am not.

Probably. I work for a very small company, and we've all known each other for a while. Everyone's chill and there's no drama. Well, sometimes work-related drama, but that will be the clients acting up.

I will say that at the last agency I worked at, we were very small and friendly with one another. About as close as I've ever come to "We're a family" being true. I still kept up barriers there, but if I ever go back I might relax thise rules just because of how special that place was.

Literally everywhere else I've been (including the huge agency I'm at now) has not been the case.

Shamino posted...

You are going to live a very lonely life if you don't make any friendships at all at work. Such a pessimistic view of friendship isn't healthy.

I've seen how people get treated after they leave here. They're just numbers, for the most part, and everyone is in a cliques and backstabbing. Half the reason I want to leave.

I don't want a large circle of friends, anyway. Makes me anxious. I am very glad I have a small circle of people I can trust with my life outside of work, and I'm okay with that. At work? There are literally two people that I will treat as anything above "friendly", but not quite friends. Too many bad experiences.

What industry do you work in that creates so much drama?

Government. Before that, law (which was only marginally better). Before that, food service and retail.

I worked at Target for years and never once was I sucked into drama, and I even worked there with friends I knew before I worked there. And I started working there after I graduated HS, as did most people I worked with.
In fact, when it came to romance people were very discrete. Mainly because no one was try to create drama on purpose or get fired or get talked about.

That sounds like good people to work with. For the most part, I do not have those.

Are there any consequences for drama where you work ?

Professional? Not many, unless you really fuck up and the union can't defend you. Mostly it's social ostracization and pettiness. I have seen people get ostracized and talked about behind their backs more than me, the guy who tries to stay above the fray. Seeing that people kept me out of drama by my way of just being neutrally friendly with everyone has reaffirmed my beliefs in this.

FolkenRawr posted...

I agree with this... But I can sort of see where Xeno is coming from. I made great friends when I predominately worked with people close to/my age... And when the people actually wanted to be there.
I've been working at Starbucks for a year and change and have zero interest in being friends with any of these workers. For one, the majority are literally half my age. For another, I am a shift supervisor. It's already damned near impossible to get anyone to give the slightest shit or to do basic tasks. It would be outright impossible and be a recipe for annoying drama if I actually befriended anyone

Jesus Christ, I do not envy you being a manager. That sounds like a special kind of hell that is not worth the pay.

ai123 posted...

Probably. I work for a very small company, and we've all known each other for a while. Everyone's chill and there's no drama. Well, sometimes work-related drama, but that will be the clients acting up.

That'll do it. See my previous comment about working in a smaller agency.

'To each their own' is a fine rule to live by. Much better than 'don't make friends'.

That's mostly what I try to do. I want to make this clear: I am not a loner, I do not treat my coworkers like garbage. I just do not try to get close to them. I keep it professional. I stay involved in my union, I donate to the coffee and food club, I donate extra money for special meals for the staff when they happen, I generally try to make it a good place to work (when it isn't). But I mostly keep to myself.

I do not hate other people, I'm mostly just used to being by myself and being happy that way. Probably how my wife and I found one another and married so quick.

Sephirothe posted...

This. Dont be the creep from the mandatory training videos

TC is like hold my beer for everyone that thought those mandatory sexual harassment videos were over the top.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Lol

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


...dude

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Tagged.

Did TC just. Sleep through the power dynamics training?

winstonthewhite posted...

There's some shocking and unnecessarily casual use of certain words in this topic. Very concerning to see how people think.

Overall this is probably not a good idea to do because its work, and prob best not to do it under the assumption of having a meeting. But at the same time people meet at work all the time, so if you really want to give it a go then do it, but be smart enough to be prepared for any negativity that might follow

this isnt meeting at work. This is implications from someone with power over someone without@ and this topic js a fascinating look into how harassers uh the workplace think

LightSnake posted...

Did TC just. Sleep through the power dynamics training?

I don't think most places have that training, just the generic sexual harassment one.

LightSnake posted...

Did TC just. Sleep through the power dynamics training?

He took it out to lunch and got it drunk first.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

It's bananas and a very different variety than this topic at that

tc fucked up didn't they?

they know it

I'm constantly reminded on why I left the Smash community.

It wasn't the game. It's full of people like TC.

ai123 posted...

I've never been a member of any discord for anything.

Doesn't Humble run it? He and I don't get along.

While Humble does own the server, I wouldn't say he runs it. He's hardly there and when he does pop up, it's in the politics channel. Me and a handful of other CE people run it. If youre interested in peeking in at it, PM me and I'll send you a link.

This topic went places

Toonstrack posted...

This topic went places

Presumably went to an office with HR reps asking 'em there for a talk

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


...This is super creepy.

Okay, with further posts from TC and more context about how they are in general, this is beyond creepy and just predatory as fuck. What the hell is wrong with you?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


This is just full on "They're just gonna have to fire me then because I'm going to, at best, try to coerce this girl into sex."

I just

HashtagSEP posted...

...This is super creepy.

Okay, with further posts from TC and more context about how they are in general, this is beyond creepy and just predatory as fuck. What the hell is wrong with you?

This is just full on "They're just gonna have to fire me then because I'm going to, at best, try to coerce this girl into sex."

I just

Holy fuck what the hell

I think TC needs to be tagged

HashtagSEP posted...

...This is super creepy.

Okay, with further posts from TC and more context about how they are in general, this is beyond creepy and just predatory as fuck. What the hell is wrong with you?

This is just full on "They're just gonna have to fire me then because I'm going to, at best, try to coerce this girl into sex."

I just

"I'm done with dating apps, my workplace is my dating ground" is

uh

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Just don't do it. Don't be upfront. Recognize there's a power dynamic at play that makes this untenable.

Never dip your pen in the company ink. It won't end well.

I originally posted in here suggesting TC be careful things don't backfire on them, but I ended up deleting that post because it's just the wrong angle for what they're wanting.

It's unprofessional, it's exploitative, it's delusional, and it's creepy. Stop it.

He's the team leader and she wants to join the team. Asking her out is a terrible idea and will color any interaction at work

Dont sleep where you shit.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Oh, yes, the brilliant tactic of "it's just me contemplating rape by coercion why y'all getting mad lol."

Surely that's not gonna blow up in your face or anything.

This sounds like a really bad idea, but youve got to do what youve got to do sometimes

Payzmaykr posted...

This sounds like a really bad idea, but youve got to do what youve got to do sometimes

No. No you don't. You never have to coerce somebody into sex.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


I just caught up with the "Walmart thing" and.

What the absolute FUCK is wrong with you? "There was no coercion! I only found someone I could barely communicate with who was entirely dependent on me for purchasing things and had sex with her, putting a big condition on my supposed help?"

And you were bragging about this?

HashtagSEP posted...

No. No you don't. You never have to coerce somebody into sex.

I feel pretty comfortable saying TC comes off as incredibly predatory and there's a pattern to this

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


It's going to be weird regardless. She wants to be on his team, which means anything he asks of her is already going to have implication/coercion to it, since he could effectively control her fate, on that. And as much as he's playing dumb, he clearly knows that, since he said he was going to take her to lunch for a "mock interview," something he's never done for anybody else.

EDIT: Well, no. I guess he's not playing dumb anymore, since he had since moved on to "I guess they'll just have to fire me, then."

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


he's calling this "lol so you think prostitution is wrong?!"

Like I'm sorry, there is a fucking difference between "I will answer this Backpage ad" and finding a broke girl in a parking lot before saying "I'll buy you necessities if you fuck me."