Current Events > Broke up with my girl, need to rant.

(+) Yeah! (+)

been together for about a year, we both work same job and shift. Noticed something was off about her last night, so we talked after work in the car, turns out she left her other relationship cause she had feelings for me, and now she's "confused" and wanted a break. I've basically broke up, i told her its too complicated now and not worth the hassle. Very annoying, especially cause we had no real issues and seem to be on the same page

This was only about an hour ago, Im still processing this.

Do you mean she was cheating on you or did she leave her old relationship to date you?

Thats a bad warning sign. I commend you for taking the initiative there, must have been tough with a whole year at your back.

Do you still work together? Cause that may be awkward.

McmadnessV3 posted...

Do you mean she was cheating on you or did she leave her old relationship to date you?

Sounds like both.

This is why you shouldnt date girls

Been there, sorry man.

Sorry to hear that dude. Probably for the best though. Odds are, she still has feelings for the other guy and she was going to go back to him during that "break"

I'm sorry, that sucks. But good for you for not just tagging along with her bullshit

Sounds quick with little provocation from what I see. Feels like nobody takes time to make relationships work anymore and jump ship at the first red flag. But maybe I just read too many Reddit posts like this.

havean776 posted...

Do you still work together? Cause that may be awkward.

McmadnessV3 posted...

Do you mean she was cheating on you or did she leave her old relationship to date you?

Left him for me apparently. We even talked about this on our first date cause i wanted to be sure she was over that, she told me she wanted to be out of that relationship for awhile.

Cory898 posted...

Sounds quick with little provocation from what I see. Feels like nobody takes time to make relationships work anymore and jump ship at the first red flag. But maybe I just read too many Reddit posts like this.

Yeah, maybe you do

Cory898 posted...

Sounds quick with little provocation from what I see. Feels like nobody takes time to make relationships work anymore and jump ship at the first red flag. But maybe I just read too many Reddit posts like this.

Maybe, but i dont think so. I gave my last girlfriend a second chance after a similar scenario, but it never felt right after that, like that emotional connection was severed. Knowing what you want, and commitment is important to me.

HudGard posted...

Thats a bad warning sign. I commend you for taking the initiative there, must have been tough with a whole year at your back.

Thank you, and yeah idk, it all happened so fast.

Protoman_X38 posted...

Maybe, but i dont think so. I gave my last girlfriend a second chance after a similar scenario, but it never felt right after that, like that emotional connection was severed. Knowing what you want, and commitment is important to me.

Yeah, you made the right call. It is possible that you just drawing a line instead of going along with a "break" could get to her. If she soon realizes that she made a mistake, would you give her a second chance?

And I can't say whether you should or not, as I don't know her or you well enough.

havean776 posted...

Do you still work together? Cause that may be awkward.

Yeah, neither of us are really the grudgy kind of people, so hopefully it wont be too awkward.

I'm sorry TC. Wishing you both the best of luck going forward

Cory898 posted...

Sounds quick with little provocation from what I see. Feels like nobody takes time to make relationships work anymore and jump ship at the first red flag. But maybe I just read too many Reddit posts like this.

Nah, I think TC made the right call here. For her to suddenly be "confused" about her feelings after being together for a year, likely means that she has feelings for another guy. Just like she left her ex because she had feelings for TC. It doesn't sound like she's able to maturely handle attraction while already in a monogamous relationship.

My ex similarly tried to suggest we go on a break because there's was another guy she liked. I talked it out with her and convinced her not to do the whole break thing and I thought all was good. Nope, just ended up cheating on me with that other guy.

Yeah, she was gonna go back go that guy during the "break". Breakups suck but you did the right thing, in this scenario, no need for that break and "time" bs

Moving on will be a bit harder since you work together but at long as you keep things civil and only have strickly work-related interactions with her, you will be fine eventually.

God I hate when girls do that shit. Good on you for taking the high road.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Thank you, that is exactly how I feel about it as well.

Cory898 posted...

Sounds quick with little provocation from what I see. Feels like nobody takes time to make relationships work anymore and jump ship at the first red flag. But maybe I just read too many Reddit posts like this.

I don't understand where you're coming from. This isn't a scenario over honest disagreements. This is a girl asking for permission to cheat. You can disagree with that assessment but asking for a "break" when you're clearly talking about feelings for someone else is emotional cheating even if it never became physical.

This is a deal breaker if you're monogamous there is no point in trying to make it work with someone who isn't.

BlackScythe0 posted...

I don't understand where you're coming from. This isn't a scenario over honest disagreements. This is a girl asking for permission to cheat. You can disagree with that assessment but asking for a "break" when you're clearly talking about feelings for someone else is emotional cheating even if it never became physical.

This is a deal breaker if you're monogamous there is no point in trying to make it work with someone who isn't.

You and the others who replied are probably right. Didnt mean anything offensive by it.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Yeah lmao, like i cant even cry or feel anything right now. She's not a bad person, and that just makes it more frustrating.

bro wtf

Sucks that it happened, but to your credit, you handled that ideally. No dicking around, no breakdown, no denial. Textbook.

Cory898 posted...

You and the others who replied are probably right. Didnt mean anything offensive by it.

I don't think anyone is offended by what you said. Just explaining why we think TC made the right call.

Protoman_X38 posted...

Yeah lmao, like i cant even cry or feel anything right now. She's not a bad person, and that just makes it more frustrating.

Yeah that frustration sucks. If I could give you a hug right now, I would

Don't.

Shit.

Where.

You.

Eat.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Nah, just got so many disagreeing responses to my post wanted to make clear I wasnt judging the person and that I see where you all are coming from. I also didnt mkake the connection of wanting a break and being confused about ex.

Cory898 posted...

Nah, just got so many disagreeing responses to my post wanted to make clear I wasnt judging the person and that I see where you all are coming from. I also didnt mkake the connection of wanting a break and being confused about ex.

It's all good dude, im actually glad she was upfront about the ex thing, otherwise i likely would of given her "time and space" and it would of just prolonged this.

rexcrk posted...

God I hate when girls do that shit. Good on you for taking the high road.

Men do the same thing.

Jiggy101011 posted...

Men do the same thing.

Can confirm. Sometimes, people just suck.

Cory898 posted...

You and the others who replied are probably right. Didnt mean anything offensive by it.

You didn't say anything offensive, if anything I was more curious to understand your perspective given it seemed like pretty clear cut infedility to me

Xenogears15 posted...

Don't.

Shit.

Where.

You.

Eat.

It's really hard to avoid dating coworkers when they're the people you spend most of your time around. Attraction is inevitable and just one more thing that makes the adage extremely hard to follow.

A_Good_Boy posted...

It's really hard to avoid dating coworkers when they're the people you spend most of your time around. Attraction is inevitable and just one more thing that makes the adage extremely hard to follow.

No, man. It's really freaking easy. You just practice some semblance of self-control and realize that it's much more trouble than it's worth.

Xenogears15 posted...

No, man. It's really freaking easy. You just practice some semblance of self-control and realize that it's much more trouble than it's worth.

Idk man, when the apps are dry but them coworkers are throwing themselves at you it's really really hard to turn that away.

A_Good_Boy posted...

It's really hard to avoid dating coworkers when they're the people you spend most of your time around. Attraction is inevitable and just one more thing that makes the adage extremely hard to follow.

No, it isn't. As all the people it has never happened for can point out.

Xenogears15 posted...

No, man. It's really freaking easy. You just practice some semblance of self-control and realize that it's much more trouble than it's worth.

There are countless couples who met at work. Yes, it is tricky but hard and fast rules are generally bad.

suchiuomizu posted...

No, it isn't. As all the people it has never happened for can point out.

Well as per usual when dealing with dating, the advice is applicable if you're attractive and can manage to avoid repulsing another person for all of 5 minutes.

Xenogears15 posted...

No, man. It's really freaking easy. You just practice some semblance of self-control and realize that it's much more trouble than it's worth.

It being trouble is entirely dependent on your workplace and the maturity of the people involved. Which is why I agree with Dissident about it not being a hard and fast rule. Years ago, I worked with my girlfriend at the time, and it took months before our co-workers even found out that we were dating. We didn't let our relationship affect our work.

And at my current job, I asked out one of my co-workers. She turned me down, but she doesn't treat me any differently than she did before. We still hang out platonically and enjoy each other's company. No trouble, no drama.

If a partner tells you they want a break, that relationship is already dead. They are already cheating on you or theres someone they wanna mess around with without feeling guilty.

good thing you still have to work with her lmao

Jiggy101011 posted...

Men do the same thing.

Oh absolutely