Lurker > Turducken

Calling themselves a monster might have been coerced out of them. Just like a 'confession'.

I don't necessarily think that's the case, but that's the line of reasoning.

I'm having difficulty thinking of a sadder, more pathetic thing than this.

LoveLikeJazz posted...

I don't even know tbh. I've never lived alone long enough to use an entire roll myself.

Gotta hide one off to be your own test roll for this experiment.

Mil'turry servs don't count none less'n you be puttin' bullets in brownies, boy!!

The_Popo posted...

This could be the opening to a very bizarre Disney song

Maybe one for Eeyore.

This is like Putin-critic levels of 'accident' explaining. "Oh yeah, he uh slipped and fell down a flight of stairs...which was right in front of a window...in front of a 5-story drop...and he landed on 14 bullets to the head. I've told ole Yuri before to watch his footing!"

ItsNotA2Mer posted...

Sure Donnie.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/116ba97b.jpg

Just add in red eyes and devil horns to him, photoshop in a fire background, add word bubbles to the kids saying things like "Help us!" "He's going to drag us to HELL!" "America needs TRUMP!" and so on, 'shop their expressions slightly to be screaming in fear...

CrimsonGear80 posted...

Thanksgiving is supposed to be OK, though.

Recently saw that. I'd agree that 'okay' is a perfectly succinct description for it. Completely run-of-the-mill horror movie, but it's...fine, I guess?

That's the best this utter shitstain's been able to come up with, huh? "Uh, she said something, so I thought maybe she might do something to do me, and when she did a motion, I REALLY thought there was a potential chance she could possibly do something in theory!"

Tyranthraxus posted...

Find a nearby puddle they probably drowned in there

Then just carry him around on your back and kinda talk in that half-mouth side voice.

"Hey, guys it's me, Ted. No, no, I didn't drown; just a little water weight!" (winks at camera)

luigi33 posted...

no, no it doesnt. you would die.

Possibly. It's an incredible reward, though, so again I am more than willing to chance it. You feel free to sit this one out.

No?

Definitely less cwinge to say cwinge, in any event.

The reward far outweighs the risk. I'll chance holing up somewhere and surviving on puddle water or something to have the rest of my life taken care of. The rest of everyone's lives, potentially. Spend that week figuring out the best way to use the wishes, and if something eats me, oh well. Worth the risk.

lcampoy posted...

Old new. There has already been several topics about this weeks ago

I was gonna say, wasn't there already a topic about some bootstain that killed a kid because they were too busy playing fucking videogames? Not that I'd put it past multiple people to do this, sadly...

Hah, fair point.

Are they just ignoring "Legion" and the other shit from the latest movie?

Evening_Dragon posted...

It might be petty, but I'm not comfortable with having such a severe sudden handicap. I very much like being the physically capable guy.

But think how much more physically capable you'll be now that all of these lazy motherfuckers are just flying everywhere. Their bones will become bird-brittle and you can CRUSH THEM for their insolence, Lord of Land!

cadcrafter posted...

I don't really get why everybody is syaing youd habe to die or even rig some sort of contraption to live... Just take one step in your door and then book it the other way when the whale spawns. Should be enough time to at least get to a spot you won't die at.

Surviving with no injury is preferable to surviving in a body cast or never being able to walk right again or whatever. If I gotta spend a little dough on my Whale Defense System, so be it.

-Agree to deal while outside.
-Have some kind of giant trampoline contraption built above house

Nirvanas_Nox posted...

Yall take the money. I'll be happy just to be able to fly. Would rarely ever need a car again

But you don't get to fly. The choices are you get money and everyone else gets to fly, or nobody gets anything.

Sephiroth_C_Ryu posted...

All stories are canon. Every game you play is also canon. Period. THAT is the multiverse.

Yes, but that's exactly the problem. If Marvel's main comics universe is designated Earth-616 and co-exists in the same multiverse as the MCU, then the MCU should have to have a different designation number. But the suits in corporate I assume wanted the recognizability of that 616 title, so in the movies the so-called Sacred Timeline is also called 616. So now there are two Earth-616s somehow, when they could have literally picked any untaken number and been fine. If they existed in separate mutliverses, it'd be fine. But if every piece of Marvel media exists in the same shared universe, they just created a problem for no reason.

No rule in the rulebook saying a dog can't surf!

THIS SUMMER

FROM WALT DISNEY STUDIOS

Surf's Pup!

DrizztLink posted...

Was it exclusive to airplane parts?

I know the most famous one was eating the whole ass airplane but I thought he ate wild shit in general.

You are correct. Guess I just remember his favorite meal best and forgot the others.

"Famously, he ate an entire aeroplane but was also known to snack on bicycles and razor blades. Whatever the meal of choice, Lotito prepared it by cutting up the selected item with an electric saw."

Michel Lotito. The man with the indestructible stomach...

EDIT: Additonal fun facts

"Since 1959, Michel Lotito, has eaten 18 bicycles, 15 shopping carts, 7 TVs, 6 chandeliers, and even a plane, totaling 8 tons of metal."

Baron_Ox posted...

oh yea, sorry, I was actually thinking about the Golden Axe remake.

but I was thinking about the one that was teased some months ago:

Ohhhh, I almost forgot about that teaser. I do hope they learned from Beast Rider and don't make the upcoming one single-player. Beast Rider wasn't even a horrible game--kept the spirit of the originals well enough I though, just kinda middle of the road gameplay--but the lack of co-op really hurt it. Hell, this new one they could make 3 player and have the whole crew at once. That'd be a kick.

I also hope Altered Beast is covered under the 'And More' of that teaser. And no Bio-Engineered Modern Day nonsense! You can do it, Sega. I believe in you.

How many Earths 616 are there? If the main comics is 616, how can the movies be the same? They can't both be!!! They can't!!

Baron_Ox posted...

for a second, I thought this was about the Altered Beast remake.

That goofy one where they decided to turn it into some kinda weird sci-fi thing with Bio Creatunoids and whatnot? Blugh. I wish one day they'd give us a proper remake, and for the love of god, make it multiplayer. Golden Axe did the same shit. Take these classic co-op games...remove the co-op. Brilliant.

Cuz I'm a stupid fucking MUSHMOUTH MORON IDIOT FUCKFACE DUMBFUCK!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Strider102 posted...

You haven't lived until you've eaten a gaming pc.

Let me tell you, the taste is heavenly. Yeah, you do have the annoying broken teeth, cut up gums, tongue, cheeks, esophagus, etc to deal with, and the painful expulsion that comes after, assuming you live that long.

But it's really quite delicious.

You joke (I hope!?!?!) but there was a guy who used to make his living eating airplane parts. I am not kidding.

Someone who begins and ends every day reciting the entire Pokerap for all 14,674 Pokemons by heart.

Also for drowning the odds are a lot better of being presentable for an open-casket funeral. Ain't nobody gonna wanna look at your Freddy Krueger-lookin' ass if you burn up.

He's an actor, god damn it.

Fuck the po-leese...gimmick?

Why do people always...wanna fuck...ROBOTS!!!!!

Baha05 posted...

To try and prevent a towing/fine

Sounds nice 'round them parts. Here, sure seems like people just take the fucking things and suffer no consequence for it.

DrizztLink posted...

Guaran-goddamn-tee the same people making/using these are the same people who would use a fake handicapped placard.

Why bother with the placard? I see a disturbingly high number of people just use the handicapped spot.

I've always felt Nick O'Teen was one of Superman's most dastardly villains.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oljZbk9qsMM&ab_channel=OnyxtheArchwyvernlord

Euripides posted...

Yes, I hate most of them with the heat of 1000 suns.

Doubly hate them when the website makes their site unusable on mobile in order to force you into their app

McDonald's: "Yeah, we could just let you order through the site, but haha fuck you. Use The App or pay out your ears, bitch."

"Hello, this is Heywood. May I ask to whom am I speaking?"

Well, if I drown I might be able to be resuscitated. If I burn to death I probably wouldn't WANT to be saved.

I'm a human. Does that mean there's a chance that I'll turn into whatever thing, also?

Sufferedphoenix posted...

The average person wouldn't know about the child cyborgs

Scandal Exposed live on Youtube! Sen. Armstrong using CHILD BRAINS to fuel his War Machine...LITERALLY!!!

They got that one building all wrong. Pathetic.

But it was R-rated! R-rated movies have a lower box office limit!

As everyone else has said, I'll take the money and keep the vital bodily function.

It's that kind of Hallmark card stereotype bullshit that should've ended decades ago. "Happy 30th birthday! It's all over from here!" Like, shut the fuck up.

brestugo posted...

They've legit got nothing.

Really. This is just pathetic at this point. She laughs! She hugs! What's next, she smiles too much? Makes her look weak! A leader doesn't smile and hug! They're always stern, with arms folded and an expression of I Just Smelled A Fart!

Crono99 posted...

Mimar Sinan did NOT build the four minarets of the Hagia Sophia. He only built two of them.

(eyeroll) Everyone knows THAT....

Tyranthraxus posted...

That's never going to happen they use their own races now.

Yeah, they Blelves and Schwarves. Expertly done, SEG.

I think I'd go with any of these choices for free. Let's spice up Planet a bit, huh? Less boring humans, more Other Things!

Don't be evil. Just be somewhat of a cranky jerk. Cranky Jerk playthrough.