Poll of the Day > It's getting more difficult for me to date because of who I am. (long topic)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Was watching a segment on tv about dating and first impressions and all of that. It inspired me to make this topic.

Basically it keeps getting more and more difficult for me to find that special someone because of who I am. I think people would consider me boring and that's completely fine. I don't like going out, I only enjoy socializing at work, I prefer being by myself most of the time, and things like that.

I'm basically living in my own little world I guess. And I absolutely like it this way. I'm not complaining about that.

But it does make it very difficult for me to meet new people. Again, I don't care too much about socializing I guess since I don't enjoy hanging out with people that much outside of work and the few times I have, I've gotten bored within an hour. I have no interest in new hobbies or ways to meet people.

With that in mind, it basically seems like it would be impossible for me to find someone to date. I also don't think many girls would be interested me, but I could be wrong. I'm sure there's someone out there for me. I simply have not met her yet. And I can't picture myself living with a woman because I'm too boring.

I'm not putting myself down or anything. This is just the way I feel and I feel like I'm being realistic.

I am not interested in online dating through websites or apps. I'd rather meet a girl in real life. However, I am open to meeting women I've played online games with. I'm not actively looking for one or anything like that. But I have met a cool friend I play online games with and it would be cool to meet her in person. I prefer having online friends because I can relate with them much more.

Oh and irl I'm pretty laid back, super nice, lots of people at work end up liking me, and I'm considered charismatic, which might sound a little weird because I'm often considered quiet. lol. I don't care if I get friendzoned by women because those are the types of women I wouldn't want to date anyways; women who wouldn't date a guy like me just for being 'too nice.'

I guess that's about it. I was wondering if there's anyone who can relate with me? Oh and just wanted to say that I'm not the kind of person that only wants to date physically attractive women. I like to get to know them and all of that. I've met some great looking women who simply aren't interesting at all to me.

p.s. I'm approaching my 30s and many women in my age group already have kids, divorced, or already in a relationship. I'm no where near ready to start a family.
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Only options I really see is either socialising, finding new hobbies, joining groups of current hobbies and/or online dating. Being as you're not interested in any of that your options are very limited. Not sure what to suggest really.
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Why do you want to date when you don't like doing anything? Just pay for an escort.
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Don't care about anyone's needs but your own. From there you can expand your social group to people that have qualities you value. They're about 6.5 billion people on the planet and the only ones that really matter are the ones that you choose to acknowledge.
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Just because you date someone with kids doesnt automatically make them your kids.
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EvilMegas posted...

Just because you date someone with kids doesnt automatically make them your kids.

If you're going to commit to them that's not true though

As for the topic, I think you should reconsider the online dating thing. Plenty of boring women out there who like to stay at home too. Might even find a yourself a cute gamer girl

OhhhJa posted...

EvilMegas posted...

Just because you date someone with kids doesnt automatically make them your kids.

If you're going to commit to them that's not true though

As for the topic, I think you should reconsider the online dating thing. Plenty of boring women out there who like to stay at home too. Might even find a yourself a cute gamer girl

Even if you "commit" to someone, its not your responsibility to take care of their children unless you and your partner agree to that.

And yeah, go date online.
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EvilMegas posted...

Even if you "commit" to someone, its not your responsibility to take care of their children unless you and your partner agree to that.

Yeah, no. When you commit, you share responsibilities. Marriage merely legally cements it.
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Youre talking to a single dad thats dating. Lmao
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EvilMegas posted...

Youre talking to a single dad thats dating. Lmao

You being okay with women you're commited to not helping you doesn't make it not their responsibility.
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Please keep trying to speak as if you wrote the book on this when you have no clue.
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EvilMegas posted...

Please keep trying to speak as if you wrote the book on this when you have no clue.

Says mister single dad, master of holding down committed women.
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Yeah, I could try online dating I suppose. Just to give it a try. I did try a few years ago but it was really quickly. I messaged a girl I found interesting and she appreciated the fact that I actually tried to start a conversation instead of using some dumb pick up line. lol. That was the end of it. But maybe I'll try again and this time for a little bit longer.

I know dating a woman that has children doesn't mean they'll be my responsibility, but there's the possibility of becoming attached to them, and I do think it's a big commitment.

Thanks for the replies everyone.
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Kyuubi4269 posted...

EvilMegas posted...

Please keep trying to speak as if you wrote the book on this when you have no clue.

Says mister single dad, master of holding down committed women.

How will I ever recover from such a sick burn?
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pipebomb_phil posted...

Yeah, I could try online dating I suppose. Just to give it a try. I did try a few years ago but it was really quickly. I messaged a girl I found interesting and she appreciated the fact that I actually tried to start a conversation instead of using some dumb pick up line. lol. That was the end of it. But maybe I'll try again and this time for a little bit longer.

I know dating a woman that has children doesn't mean they'll be my responsibility, but there's the possibility of becoming attached to them, and I do think it's a big commitment.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Very fair points. I really have no argument against that.
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EvilMegas posted...

Even if you "commit" to someone, its not your responsibility to take care of their children unless you and your partner agree to that.

I can't tell you how to raise your kid but I disagree with that philosophy. I think every kid should have a good mother and father figure around. I dont think it's healthy to have a "stepdad" or "stepmom" who sees their significant other's kids as just kids that happen to live with you and the lady you're banging

EvilMegas posted...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

EvilMegas posted...

Please keep trying to speak as if you wrote the book on this when you have no clue.

Says mister single dad, master of holding down committed women.

How will I ever recover from such a sick burn?

Not a burn, an observation. You're in no position to question other people's relationship knowledge.
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I mean there are attractive women that have married fat dudes that arent rich

Not sure why the concept of people falling for each other for reasons not solely based on physical experience is so hard for some to grasp
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Wrong topic, bro.
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Mead posted...

I mean there are attractive women that have married fat dudes that arent rich

Not sure why the concept of people falling for each other for reasons not solely based on physical experience is so hard for some to grasp

Maybe you should read my post first? I never mentioned anything about my physical appearance.
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pipebomb_phil posted...

Mead posted...

I mean there are attractive women that have married fat dudes that arent rich

Not sure why the concept of people falling for each other for reasons not solely based on physical experience is so hard for some to grasp

Maybe you should read my post first? I never mentioned anything about my physical appearance.

He meant to post in a different topic lol

pipebomb_phil posted...

Mead posted...

I mean there are attractive women that have married fat dudes that arent rich

Not sure why the concept of people falling for each other for reasons not solely based on physical experience is so hard for some to grasp

Maybe you should read my post first? I never mentioned anything about my physical appearance.

My apologies friend, I actually meant to post in duckbears topic about a supposed gold digger but somehow mistakenly posted it in your topic instead

My bad
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Mead posted...

pipebomb_phil posted...

Mead posted...

I mean there are attractive women that have married fat dudes that arent rich

Not sure why the concept of people falling for each other for reasons not solely based on physical experience is so hard for some to grasp

Maybe you should read my post first? I never mentioned anything about my physical appearance.

My apologies friend, I actually meant to post in duckbears topic about a supposed gold digger but somehow mistakenly posted it in your topic instead

My bad

I figured that's what happened. Haha.

Also, I agree with EvilMegas. You don't have to take responsibility. But you can. I'm dating someone with kids. And they aren't mine. That being said, I would help if they ever asked me to. But it's different for every person.

Also, I can understand what TC is saying about getting attached, too...
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Go look at yourself in a mirror. Remind yourself that things could be worse. You could be me.

Use that knowledge that you are far superior than I am in the dating scene.

I used to have a really hot coworker that had a really nerdy boyfriend that she met on WoW. I also have a really nerdy friend that never did anything with a girl before hook up a few times with a pretty hot girl he met on Ragnarok Online.

So go play MMOs, maybe you'll get lucky like those people.
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LinkPizza posted...

Mead posted...

pipebomb_phil posted...

Mead posted...

I mean there are attractive women that have married fat dudes that arent rich

Not sure why the concept of people falling for each other for reasons not solely based on physical experience is so hard for some to grasp

Maybe you should read my post first? I never mentioned anything about my physical appearance.

My apologies friend, I actually meant to post in duckbears topic about a supposed gold digger but somehow mistakenly posted it in your topic instead

My bad

I figured that's what happened. Haha.

Also, I agree with EvilMegas. You don't have to take responsibility. But you can. I'm dating someone with kids. And they aren't mine. That being said, I would help if they ever asked me to. But it's different for every person.

Also, I can understand what TC is saying about getting attached, too...

Thank you, rational person.
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Mead posted...

pipebomb_phil posted...

Mead posted...

I mean there are attractive women that have married fat dudes that arent rich

Not sure why the concept of people falling for each other for reasons not solely based on physical experience is so hard for some to grasp

Maybe you should read my post first? I never mentioned anything about my physical appearance.

My apologies friend, I actually meant to post in duckbears topic about a supposed gold digger but somehow mistakenly posted it in your topic instead

My bad

My bad. I assumed you simply posted in the topic without reading (like you have done in the past). But my bad.
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pipebomb_phil posted...

Basically it keeps getting more and more difficult for me to find that special someone because of who I am. I think people would consider me boring and that's completely fine. I don't like going out, I only enjoy socializing at work, I prefer being by myself most of the time, and things like that.

I'm basically living in my own little world I guess. And I absolutely like it this way. I'm not complaining about that.

But it does make it very difficult for me to meet new people. Again, I don't care too much about socializing I guess since I don't enjoy hanging out with people that much outside of work and the few times I have, I've gotten bored within an hour. I have no interest in new hobbies or ways to meet people.

You and I are basically the same person. If given the choice of being home alone playing video games or going out and getting sloshed at a loud bar, I choose home 99/100 times (because once in a blue moon yeah I like going out, but like you, I get bored of it quickly).

That being said,

pipebomb_phil posted...

I am not interested in online dating through websites or apps.

You're going to have to get over this hump at some point. I understand the urge of wanting to meet a lovely lady on a video game (I've been friends with this girl I met on a Maplestory private server for five years, we just met up for the first time last month in Vegas). It's much more liberating talking to people over a game because there is no ulterior motive. But the odds of this ever turning into anything "real" are pretty much zero (one of us would have to move).

I also would like to meet someone in real life, but again, this lifestyle of only work and home does not afford many opportunities to meet women.

I know you're a bit older (I'm 25) but there's nothing wrong with setting your age range to women a bit younger, like maybe 24+. There are young women out there who prefer stability, which it sounds like you have.
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Muffinz0rz posted...

You and I are basically the same person. If given the choice of being home alone playing video games or going out and getting sloshed at a loud bar, I choose home 99/100 times (because once in a blue moon yeah I like going out, but like you, I get bored of it quickly)

Yep. Same thing goes for malls, stores, etc. I don't drink so I never go to bars (did once or twice and it was boring for me).

Muffinz0rz posted...

You're going to have to get over this hump at some point. I understand the urge of wanting to meet a lovely lady on a video game (I've been friends with this girl I met on a Maplestory private server for five years, we just met up for the first time last month in Vegas). It's much more liberating talking to people over a game because there is no ulterior motive. But the odds of this ever turning into anything "real" are pretty much zero (one of us would have to move).

I also would like to meet someone in real life, but again, this lifestyle of only work and home does not afford many opportunities to meet women.

I know you're a bit older (I'm 25) but there's nothing wrong with setting your age range to women a bit younger, like maybe 24+. There are young women out there who prefer stability, which it sounds like you have.

True. Yeah I'll have to give online dating another try. I've heard people had good success with it so it's worth a shot again. I've accepted that online dating is normal in this day and age.

Yeah, I'm open to dating women younger than me. I also think it would be good for me because a younger woman is likely to have a more fun mindset or whatever. Obviously not every younger woman is like that either. Unfortunately I don't have much stability at the moment because of some health problems, but I'm getting back on track.
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