The year is 1995, a young up and coming website designer CJayC has just finished his ultimate work. GameFAQs. A site for the best and brightest of the web. To celebrate CJay decided to do what he always does when he accomplishes something great. Head to Mexico and buy cheap drugs and cheap women.
So CJay set out in his 1984 Honda Accord with one pink door. While passing over the border he got a shiver down his spine. Something was different this visit.
After 3 days straight of drugs, women and one goat CJay decided to do some shopping in the market before heading back to America. He went through various stores and found nothing of value or note. As he was preparing to leave the last store something shiny caught his eye. He went over to inspect and found something that would change his life and the lives of millions of others. A shirt. It had a shine unlike anything he had ever seen. When he checked the price it said 6 pesos. He was sure this was a mistake and quickly scurried to the cash. The cashier went blind as he scanned the shirt.
Cjay bolted from the store into a back alley. He went to put on the shirt but was blown into a wall by it. As CJay struggled to his feet a strange man hobbled towards him.
"Sir you won't be able to get that on. It is a shirt made for only the most elite, better than everyone else type of person. As of yet no one has ever been able to put it on." - Hobbled Man
"What do you mean?" - CJayC
But it was too late the man was gone and CJay had the runs.
After several hours in a pay toilet, CJay left back to America. To find out what could be done with ... the SHIRT.
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Not changing this sig until the Bengals, Bills, Browns and Lions win the Super Bowl (10/10/10) The most American Canadian on Board 8 - #9 Bro on Board 8
I've heard parts of this story before... from someone who didn't believe it to be true. He won't be found, and if other such bodies need to be hidden, I volunteer to like help out or whatever...
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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu (about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)
Upon returning to the US Cjay contacts his best friend and vision of manliness, SBAllen. Allen was a gigantic African American with more swag, swank and pizazz than anyone Cjay knew, surely he could wear The Shirt.
"Allen you'll never believe what I found in Mexico! Get yourself over here right now!" - Cjay
"Yo yo yo I be headin therez for the sure and all dat." - SBAllen
Allen arrived at Cjay's upper lower class mansion and went down to his lab. Inside the lab he saw something amazing, unlike anything he had ever seen. THE SHIRT!
After 45 minutes of standing mouth agape he spoke... "Yo my bro wazzit you gots there, dang thing is blingin like Mr. T on a Tuesday." - Allen
"I found this in Mexico, but I couldn't put it on.... do you think you can?" - Cjay
"Ain't no thang I know how ta where a shirt ya fool." - Allen
Allen went to put The Shirt on but a beam of light came from it blinding them both temporarily. When they gained their vision back, Cjay was shocked to see ..... Allen was now a skinny little white guy in a sailor suit.
"Cjay what is it? Why are you looking at me like that friend?" - Allen
"Dude ...." - Cjay
He hands Allen a mirror. As Allen gazes upon what he has become all he can say is. "Gee whiz this is super! I always wanted to try on a sailor suit."
It became apparent to Cjay that not just anyone was going to be able to wear The Shirt. It had turned his friend from Bro to No instantly. He knew he needed to find a man that could wear it. HE NEEDED TO!
Having both touched The Shirt, they were now bound to finding it a suitable owner.
Literally Obsessed.
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Not changing this sig until the Bengals, Bills, Browns and Lions win the Super Bowl (10/10/10) The most American Canadian on Board 8 - #9 Bro on Board 8
It became apparent to Cjay that not just anyone was going to be able to wear The Shirt. It had turned his friend from Bro to No instantly. He knew he needed to find a man that could wear it. HE NEEDED TO!
this line is amazing
-- Warning_Crazy Winner of Board 8 Big Brother! i may be running for senatorship (thanks nio) but i'm no SUPERNICEDOG
Fast forward 6 years to 2001. Cjay and Allen have gone through countless trials and failures on their path to find someone to wear The Shirt. They introduced forums and user accounts to GameFAQs in hopes they could find an elite but only found well.... us. They had also tried various celebrities and were responsible for the deaths of Gene Kelly, Notorious B.I.G, Princess Diana, Mother Teresa and Walter Payton amongst others.
It became painfully clear to them that no human on this earth was going to meet their needs. Lucky for them Cjay and Allen also happen to be excellent biochemists and had extensive knowledge of science.
They began the process of creating a host for The Shirt. Countless failures occurred and many half finished genetically engineered monsters were left to moan the world. They would later become the trolls you know and love today. The issue seemed to be a lack of raw power and energy and as such the two great minds set forth one of the most complex insane plans ever. They decided that they needed to cause a massive explosion to get the energy they needed to make someone worthy of wearing The Shirt. So for months they plotted with a group of men that were led to believe they were doing this for a holy war.
On the morning of September 11th 2001 at 8:46am est Cjay and Allen got the energy they needed. From that energy Ulti was created.
But they only had the perfect body .... they still needed to create a persona to match ....
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Not changing this sig until the Bengals, Bills, Browns and Lions win the Super Bowl (10/10/10) The most American Canadian on Board 8 - #9 Bro on Board 8
From: Whiskey_Nick | #038 On the morning of September 11th 2001 at 8:46am est Cjay and Allen got the energy they needed. From that energy Ulti was created.
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Not changing this sig until the Bengals, Bills, Browns and Lions win the Super Bowl (10/10/10) The most American Canadian on Board 8 - #9 Bro on Board 8
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Cats land on their feet. Toast lands peanut butter side down. A cat with toast strapped to its back will hover above the ground in a state of quantum indecision
