Board 8 > ~FIGHT!~ Juliet Starling vs. Earthworm Jim

(+) Yeah! (+)

Julie Starling has challenged Earthworm Jim to a fight! Location of the fight: New Junk City - A junkyard filled with springy tires, pits with junkyard dogs, and a teeter totter with a refrigerator hanging over it in the middle. No other enemies are present and access to the rest of the Earthworm Jim world is banned. Attackers will start by the fridge, with defenders starting at the site of Chuck's boss arena. Which side will win?

Guidelines

- The fight will occur in real-time (like an FMV sequence). Gameplay mechanics are less important than how the characters would function in a real-time environment.
- The members of each team are ideal teammates capable of a pre-selected plan of battle.
- "Broken" refers to a lot of things, including insta-death, auto-effects, a variety of status effects (e.g., Imp, Silence, Stop, *not* Poison), and revival. Unless stated otherwise, nobody has them, though do use your own discretion.
- There may be SPOILERS from all of the games the characters are from.

Rules for Voting

-Bold your votes (using bold HTML tags).
-You do not need to require justification for your vote, though the admins reserve the right to disqualify votes in the advent of obvious alt voting and other similar scenarios.
-Leaders cannot vote for their own teams (and players from the same pool may not vote as well), but they are free to argue their case.
-If you want to switch your votes simply bold the change; there's no need to delete your post, though you may if you wish.
-This match will end in 24 hours.
-The following conventions are in use for match topics: https://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/570224-mercs/75290480/878106427


Juliet Starling is as she appears in Lollipop Chainsaw, with all her abilities and upgrades, including those utilising Nick, with the exception of the Chainsaw Blaster. She also cannot activate Star Soul Power. An Energy Totem has been installed in the centre of the terrain. It as as durable as it is in Turok 2: Seeds of Evil, and for as long as it is active, Juliet will be imprisoned in place at her starting point, unable to move or perform any actions. She will only be freed if the Energy Totem is successfully destroyed.

~VS~

Earthworm Jim is as powerful and GROOVY as he is depicted in Earthworm Jim 1 and 2. He has his power suit, his trusty blaster with max ammunition, 9 shots of mega plasma, his bubble gun, and his head (which can be used as a whip, copter, rope, etc.).

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Anything but tangerines! FIGHT!
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@Eddv may post his arguments, if any. @DeathChicken may post one if he has it, too.
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abstain

because I believe this shitshow was not admined correctly
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so juliett is stuck unless someone breaks the totem

but there is no one to break the totem
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FFDragon posted...

abstain

because I believe this shitshow was not admined correctly

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"Hey yo. Its that fighting freak knuckles here to tell you how this one goes.

My boy Jim aint gonna have to even sweat it. See the other guy is stuck in place and cant move unless the great emerald energy totem is broke which aint gonna happen.

Jim gonna whip him with his head or blast him with his plasma and then enjoy some ghost pumpkin soup back at base."

This is knuckles, who fears none and Jim is gonna freak on em. "


ScareChan posted...

so juliett is stuck unless someone breaks the totem

but there is no one to break the totem

Pretty much.
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FFDragon posted...

abstain

because I believe this shitshow was not admined correctly

A ruling was made way in advance in response to a player query, posted when it became relevant, and handled consistently. People are free to disagree with the decision but to call it bad admining is silly. The admin team is allowed to decide as they like. Bad admining is letting biases for or against players decide what happens with an unclear rule interaction, not sticking to the precedent, and changing your tune after making players act based on something you told them (and one admin overruling others as well, that's another form of bad admining). Even if you think it's a bad call, the decision we took here is not 'bad admining'.
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Our little Kanzy has grown into a true Mercs Admin (with all the negative connotation I can possibly fit into those two words) and it only took him a week
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you can follow a procedure and still be bad at it
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I'll be honest, I have zero idea what happened. But it does look like Jim wins this pretty easily.
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FFDragon posted...

you can follow a procedure and still be bad at it

We can discuss this in the wartime topic a bit more if you'd like, but I'd rather not clog up a fight topic with arguments about whether the game is or isn't being competently ran. Can I ask for that as a matter of courtesy towards the players? They're not responsible for any decisions the admin team makes.
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Jim by default
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dc is a player and and he also posted it

so that is half the players in this match
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This fight topic is frankly a joke and serves no purpose except Kan furiously masturbating while rolling his eyes and going "Mah rules that I just invented on the spot were enforced! By me!"

And yet I will not forfeit it, because why make things easy
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addendum: this match is effectively a tko so what else is there to argue but the circumstances that (incorrectly) led us here?
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I have never voted in this series before and only clicked to remind myself of who Juliet Starling was since I knew the name was familiar.

My first thought was "How the fuck is she supposed to win with that stupid handicap attached?"

I hope that is relevant to the discussion at hand.
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it is
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FFDragon posted...

addendum: this match is effectively a tko so what else is there to argue but the circumstances that (incorrectly) led us here?

Nothing, I would rather just debate policy in the wartime topic (or a separate topic created expressly for that purpose). The train of logic we followed was pretty simple - Kain says 'paid down mercenaries can't be rostered' and W100 says 'must be rostered if able'. 'Can't be rostered' wins, and it applies before rosters because otherwise it's completely dead language (if you can see a way this isn't the case I'm all ears). Kain subsequently also changes the way illegal rosterings work by punishing you if your roster is illegal on top. That's about it. The logic is simple, and people can disagree on how the ability should work but we didn't make the decision based on nonsense.

DeathChicken posted...

This fight topic is frankly a joke and serves no purpose except Kan furiously masturbating while rolling his eyes and going "Mah rules that I just invented on the spot were enforced! By me!"

And yet I will not forfeit it, because why make things easy

Which is exactly why the topic went up, yes. If you don't want to cooperate that's fine. We can deal with that.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I have never voted in this series before and only clicked to remind myself of who Juliet Starling was since I knew the name was familiar.

My first thought was "How the fuck is she supposed to win with that stupid handicap attached?"

I hope that is relevant to the discussion at hand.

She's not <_<.
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wait

are you actually masturbating right now y/n
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Juliet.
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FFDragon posted...

wait

are you actually masturbating right now y/n

No. I was responding to DC's last line about him not making things easy. The topic went up because he wanted to drag things out, so I obliged him. It's a reasonable last request for a player who quit.
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From the looks of things, an ability from outside the battle (Turok's if I had to guess) was used to force Juliet into this position.
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GANON1025 posted...

From the looks of things, an ability from outside the battle (Turok's if I had to guess) was used to force Juliet into this position.

Yep. Turok's ability, poached by Mega Man, and allowed to work without him being rostered by your boys the Wonderful 100. It's not meant to be an even match, and if DC wasn't nursing a grudge he'd just forfeit it. But he hasn't, and so here we are. And that's fine. I can deal with leaving this up for 24 hours.
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Eddv posted...

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I have never voted in this series before and only clicked to remind myself of who Juliet Starling was since I knew the name was familiar.

My first thought was "How the fuck is she supposed to win with that stupid handicap attached?"

I hope that is relevant to the discussion at hand.

She's not <_<.

...So what's the point of this topic/series if there's a way that it is absolutely 100% impossible for someone to win because of some arbitrary handicap?
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Furious masturbation
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Eddv posted...

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I have never voted in this series before and only clicked to remind myself of who Juliet Starling was since I knew the name was familiar.

My first thought was "How the fuck is she supposed to win with that stupid handicap attached?"

I hope that is relevant to the discussion at hand.

She's not <_<.

...So what's the point of this topic/series if there's a way that it is absolutely 100% impossible for someone to win because of some arbitrary handicap?

There are a certain amount of team leaders who have a certain amount of fighters who have abilities. Abilities can be used to weight a match in one team leader's favor. Sometimes this leads to a blood bath.
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Well, I'm happy to hear the Wonderful 100 were instrumental in a victory.
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DeathChicken posted...

This fight topic is frankly a joke and serves no purpose except Kan furiously masturbating

KanzarisKelshen posted...

Which is exactly why the topic went up, yes.

sorry kan you can't back out of this one
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...So what's the point of this topic/series if there's a way that it is absolutely 100% impossible for someone to win because of some arbitrary handicap?

We're playing a game where teams face off. Sometimes a team completely cripples another and the match becomes a formality. In those situations it's sportsmanlike to forfeit the match, which is why you don't see too many shitshows like this one. DeathChicken disagrees with a few calls we (the admin team of which I am a part of) made, and so he's forcing us to put up a match that isn't in question at all. We could have just overruled him to not waste everyone's time, but we decided to do things by the book instead of resorting to extreme measures.
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Usually, one-sided matches don't get this far. From the sounds of it, the admins made a call that a player was not happy with, so in response they have decided to not forfeit. This can happen from time to time, admins have to make calls and of course the people who are negatively affected by them aren't going to like it.
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GANON1025 posted...

Usually, one-sided matches don't get this far. From the sounds of it, the admins made a call that a player was not happy with, so in response they have decided to not forfeit. This can happen from time to time, admins have to make calls and of course the people who are negatively affected by them aren't going to like it.

Yeah, to clarify, this form of protest IS within a player's rights. We don't like it, but we won't deny it. Had DC asked for the match to not be put up at all THEN we would have done something in response, but this is fine.
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also turn around and never come back zhang

it's not worth it
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DoomTheGyarados posted...

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Eddv posted...

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I have never voted in this series before and only clicked to remind myself of who Juliet Starling was since I knew the name was familiar.

My first thought was "How the fuck is she supposed to win with that stupid handicap attached?"

I hope that is relevant to the discussion at hand.

She's not <_<.

...So what's the point of this topic/series if there's a way that it is absolutely 100% impossible for someone to win because of some arbitrary handicap?

There are a certain amount of team leaders who have a certain amount of fighters who have abilities. Abilities can be used to weight a match in one team leader's favor. Sometimes this leads to a blood bath.

Okay, but the weight in this match is "It doesn't matter who you would have, this is an insta-win handicap." Like, if it were a team thing then okay. But I don't see any reason for something so obviously a handicap to be used in a 1v1 match. I dunno, it just seems stupid from an outsider's point of view.
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too much information in this topic
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Also yeah, I made it quite clear in a PM that I had no interest in continuing to play this crap if that's how things were going to operate (frankly you could hand me a dozen wins and my opinion would remain the same. Once you're literally losing matches due to a mid-topic character rewrite, actually playing the game loses its luster).

Followed by a PM shortly thereafter where I decided, y'know what...why make things that easy. I am assuming by Kan's wanking...I mean wording that the initial ragequit is being held to the exclusion of the later rethinking it. Fine by me (in a way), but let's not play dancey wordy.
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Okay, but the weight in this match is "It doesn't matter who you would have, this is an insta-win handicap." Like, if it were a team thing then okay. But I don't see any reason for something so obviously a handicap to be used in a 1v1 match. I dunno, it just seems stupid from an outsider's point of view.

It very much is. The only reason we didn't just award Eddv an automatic win is because applying force on the players damages trust towards the admin team. We'd rather stage a farce than act dictatorially when we can take a path of less resistance.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

it just seems stupid from an outsider's point of view.

New Mercs Tagline.

Ready the t-shirts.
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DeathChicken posted...

Also yeah, I made it quite clear in a PM that I had no interest in continuing to play this crap if that's how things were going to operate (frankly you could hand me a dozen wins and my opinion would remain the same. Once you're literally losing matches due to a mid-topic character rewrite, actually playing the game loses its luster).

Followed by a PM shortly thereafter where I decided, y'know what...why make things that easy. I am assuming by Kan's wanking...I mean wording that the initial ragequit is being held to the exclusion of the later rethinking it. Fine by me (in a way), but let's not play dancey wordy.

Correct. We have a replacement lined up already. No offense DC, but we'd rather have players who aren't out to disrupt the game. Quitting because you disagree with us is fine, trying to stick around to cause mayhem is not.
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The mind does race a bit at thinking what could have happened. Even FFD, who I don't think is playing, is upset for some reason? I'm not asking for it to be brought up here, just thinking out loud.
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Who are you to question my reasons for wanting to play? If I want to play strictly to throw abilities around and burn everything I see (this was the plan going forward, independent of refusing to be involved in *this* particular dumbfuck match), you'd think that would be my call
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Oh hey DC, you win Mercs by escaping the quickest. ^5 buddy.

I'm not upset, I just think it was an overtly wrong decision that is a prelude of things to come.
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Wait, this is a Mercs thing!?

I would have understood completely if you told me it was a Mercs thing!

I'll let you guys dissect what that means.
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GANON1025 posted...

The mind does race a bit at thinking what could have happened. Even FFD, who I don't think is playing, is upset for some reason? I'm not asking for it to be brought up here, just thinking out loud.

You can see it in Wartime, starting on post #186: https://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/75333016?page=3

Short of it is that we issued a ruling on how one of DC's abilities worked that wasn't how he expected it to work (we did this way in advance at Eddv's request). We then also confirmed that he couldn't work around the ability usage he'd declared by using another ability he had available to break roster caps. So he quit over it. That's that. I can discuss this further on Discord or PMs if you want the details, GANON.
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FFDragon posted...

Oh hey DC, you win Mercs by escaping the quickest. ^5 buddy.

I'm not upset, I just think it was an overtly wrong decision that is a prelude of things to come.

To be fair, you will jump at even the most minor thing wrong to get in some kind of line about mercs being bad.
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Jokes on you I won by not signing up FFD.

I finally won mercs someone give me a prize.
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DeathChicken posted...

Who are you to question my reasons for wanting to play? If I want to play strictly to throw abilities around and burn everything I see (this was the plan going forward, independent of refusing to be involved in *this* particular dumbfuck match), you'd think that would be my call

We're the admin team and it's our duty to ensure the game is as healthy as possible. This is why Aldor Peacekeepers were invented, and why we have the power to make executive decisions. We're not rules-parsing machines, we're arbiters and referees, and we CAN redcard players who act in an unsportsmanlike way.
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DoomTheGyarados posted...

Jokes on you I won by not signing up FFD.

I finally won mercs someone give me a prize.

Neither did I!


GANON1025 posted...

To be fair, you will jump at even the most minor thing wrong to get in some kind of line about mercs being bad.

Not entirely incorrect, but it's because I know I'll never see my idealized version of Mercs realized. And also while I recognize admining is hard, there are still some things that should never happen.
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Ooh, who is the replacement? Given what's been displayed here they'd either have to be the dumbest son of a bitch alive, a masochist to even top me(!), or just some poor dude naive enough to not have seen the freight train coming quite yet
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNgxyL5zEAk
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