Current Events > Dudes ruined online dating.

(+) Yeah! (+)

pres_madagascar posted...

The whole conversation thing has been my issue of late.

All the women I meet and date lately have been absolute dogshit at conversing, and had almost no unique personalities whatsoever. They've all seemed to want me to be the one starting and leading conversations at all times, as well as the one always deciding what we should do.

I don't want a fucking lapdog, I want a partner.

This is easily my biggest frustration I dating women. Women just don't seem to feel the need to carry a convo as much. It is pretty jarring how different this can be when dating other men

More bisexual people need to weigh in on this topic. Don't see how people would be talking up the difficulties of women in dating to such degree if you had ever attempted to date the same sex.
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TommyG663513 posted...

It's just that dating IS easier for women. Why is it so hard for people to admit that in one aspect of life that women generally have it easier?

Because we don't think it's true. For reasons that have already been stated.

No one is saying men never have problems with dating.

No one is saying women can't be awful.

No one is saying men can't be taken advantage of.

Coming up with individual situations where men come out the worse does not tip the scale to the end of "women have it easier in dating".

I mean, quite frankly this would be easier to explain if we had some actual women in this topic.

TommyG663513 posted...

More bisexual people need to weigh in on this topic.

That's fine, but I don't think it's going to give the perspective that this topic really needs. You're suggesting that because you date both men and women that you're in a position to judge who has it easier with dating, but that ignores the fact that while you have dated both men and women, you've only ever dated AS a man. You've never dated AS a woman.

What we really need are some of the trans people on CE who have dated as both expressions. >_>
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CyricZ posted...

TommyG663513 posted...

It's just that dating IS easier for women. Why is it so hard for people to admit that in one aspect of life that women generally have it easier?

Because we don't think it's true. For reasons that have already been stated.

No one is saying men never have problems with dating.

No one is saying women can't be awful.

No one is saying men can't be taken advantage of.

Coming up with individual situations where men come out the worse does not tip the scale to the end of "women have it easier in dating".

I mean, quite frankly this would be easier to explain if we had some actual women in this topic.

TommyG663513 posted...

More bisexual people need to weigh in on this topic.

That's fine, but I don't think it's going to give the perspective that this topic really needs. You're suggesting that because you date both men and women that you're in a position to judge who has it easier with dating, but that ignores the fact that while you have dated both men and women, you've only ever dated AS a man. You've never dated AS a woman.

What we really need are some of the trans people on CE who have dated as both expressions. >_>

And you've never dated as a woman so I guess no one ITT has a right to an opinion here.

There really is absolutely no denying that women have it way easier in the early stages of dating which is obviously how it all starts. It is a lot easier to block users who send obnoxious messages than it is to start a real conversation. Are women too scared to block people or something?
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Eh... which has it easier is harder to say. It depends what you think a successful date is.

Women get dates easier without question.

But I dunno if the metric should just be quantity of dates possible.
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This topic is a yikes. Tinder is a POS app, yet you guys use it because you're too lazy to actually meet women in real life. Then when it doesn't work, you complain as if women are conspiring against you.
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cuttin_in_farm posted...

Eh... which has it easier is harder to say. It depends what you think a successful date is.

Women get dates easier without question.

But I dunno if the metric should just be quantity of dates possible.

You only don't know because you know that'd make you wrong. Don't act like men are somehow getting a higher quality of dates when we swipe right on everything that isn't hideous and women get to be picky in the swiping department.

This isn't rocket science. It is a very well known and researched fact that women are way pickier with their swipes.
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Orlando_Jordan posted...

This topic is a yikes. Tinder is a POS app, yet you guys use it because you're too lazy to actually meet women in real life. Then when it doesn't work, you complain as if women are conspiring against you.

No one has stated any such conspiracy. Just a reality in how things work. Dating app odds are stacked against men compared to women. Dating in real life generally favors women too. Is it easier to approach or to be approached? It is just the way things are and you need to understand how it works if you want any success.
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I can only tell you what happening right now with my younger brother who found an online woman.
He's always been but now at 29 gone full desperate crazy. He's "not complete" until he has a woman and a family he's always said. Well he found a like minded woman. Both are desperate to be hitched by 30.
Found her online using some site, god only knows which in September. September 2018. Starts dating her and in less than a week he's invited her over for Thanksgiving with the family. God how I'm dreading tomorrow. And I'm hosting at my house.

What kind of girl is she you may ask? In the few times she's been over. Large, first generation, loud, rude, pushy, argumentative, foul mouth. Thinks she's cute as she dresses like a 9 year old would in Harry Potter print clothes or just dumpy too large tee shirts. Sits around and then falls asleep at the table or sofa, whichever she's sitting at. Uses my idiot brother as her personal ATM. Plans his days out for him. This *redacted* can't even respond when told "hello" by my other brother. She's just a true b in the truest sense of that word. Terrible person. Now she's showing up and doing chores like the dishes at my mom's house. And it's like Red Alert! Danger! Danger! You know what that is. She has her eyes set on moving in with him in my mom's house. That's what that is. Not being nice or anything. There's been stories exactly like this one playing out right now that have happened to other idiot men in my extended family. Some fresh from or not far removed from the third world girl comes out of nowhere, gets her hooks in the guy and then immediately sets her sights on the family home.
And a couple of those times these hussies have gotten in there because the mother is spineless and folds for whatever sob story they concoct. And all the family pays the price with the living hell they turned the home life into. Both of those occasions it took the mother having to go through legale avenues to evict her and their own sons. It's ugly. And damnit if it doesn't look like this is where this scenario is headed.
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EternalDivide posted...

I can only tell you what happening right now with my younger brother who found an online woman.
He's always been but now at 29 gone full desperate crazy. He's "not complete" until he has a woman and a family he's always said. Well he found a like minded woman. Both are desperate to be hitched by 30.
Found her online using some site, god only knows which in September. September 2018. Starts dating her and in less than a week he's invited her over for Thanksgiving with the family. God how I'm dreading tomorrow. And I'm hosting at my house.

What kind of girl is she you may ask? In the few times she's been over. Large, first generation, loud, rude, pushy, argumentative, foul mouth. Thinks she's cute as she dresses like a 9 year old would in Harry Potter print clothes or just dumpy too large tee shirts. Sits around and then falls asleep at the table or sofa, whichever she's sitting at. Uses my idiot brother as her personal ATM. Plans his days out for him. This *redacted* can't even respond when told "hello" by my other brother. She's just a true b in the truest sense of that word. Terrible person. Now she's showing up and doing chores like the dishes at my mom's house. And it's like Red Alert! Danger! Danger! You know what that is. She has her eyes set on moving in with him in my mom's house. That's what that is. Not being nice or anything. There's been stories exactly like this one playing out right now that have happened to other idiot men in my extended family. Some fresh from or not far removed from the third world girl comes out of nowhere, gets her hooks in the guy and then immediately sets her sights on the family home.
And a couple of those times these hussies have gotten in there because the mother is spineless and folds for whatever sob story they concoct. And all the family pays the price with the living hell they turned the home life into. Both of those occasions it took the mother having to go through legale avenues to evict her and their own sons. It's ugly. And damnit if it doesn't look like this is where this scenario is headed.

Damn that is pretty extreme. Seems like more dudes are willing to settle, but this scenario sounds made up if it wasn't so detailed.
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TommyG663513 posted...

Not really. I outlined issues with bars. I have a job during the graveyard hours. I have my own interests that I pursue that take up time. I'm not going to do things that are completely unnatural to me just for the purpose of meeting women. Comedy clubs, quite frankly, give me more opportunity than most things I do to talk to women. The thing is I'm extremely passionate about comedy so talking to women there is just a thing that happens on occasion that I don't plan for. The thing with comedy is it decreases my anxiety about being in social situations by being on a stage in front of a large group telling jokes. There is an awful lot of worth in that all by itself which is why I go to open mics very often.

People don't have unlimited time to go meet people. It's weird to approach people at the gym, generally. Sometimes I can chat with someone at the grocery store, but people are usually busy shopping. Not gonna go to a random place to lurk and meet women unless I have a real reason for being there.

The biggest place to meet people is bars, but again, I'm not into that stuff very much.

QwelzaarKane posted...

You can meet women literally anywhere

If you're having trouble even meeting women it's due to a lack of effort. Think about things you like to do (besides comedy), go to where like-minded people congregate, and socialize. Comedy clubs tell me you live in or close enough to the city. If that's the case it should be easy af to think of a bunch of places to meet people regardless of your interests.
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QwelzaarKane posted...

TommyG663513 posted...

Not really. I outlined issues with bars. I have a job during the graveyard hours. I have my own interests that I pursue that take up time. I'm not going to do things that are completely unnatural to me just for the purpose of meeting women. Comedy clubs, quite frankly, give me more opportunity than most things I do to talk to women. The thing is I'm extremely passionate about comedy so talking to women there is just a thing that happens on occasion that I don't plan for. The thing with comedy is it decreases my anxiety about being in social situations by being on a stage in front of a large group telling jokes. There is an awful lot of worth in that all by itself which is why I go to open mics very often.

People don't have unlimited time to go meet people. It's weird to approach people at the gym, generally. Sometimes I can chat with someone at the grocery store, but people are usually busy shopping. Not gonna go to a random place to lurk and meet women unless I have a real reason for being there.

The biggest place to meet people is bars, but again, I'm not into that stuff very much.

QwelzaarKane posted...

You can meet women literally anywhere

If you're having trouble even meeting women it's due to a lack of effort. Think about things you like to do (besides comedy), go to where like-minded people congregate, and socialize. Comedy clubs tell me you live in or close enough to the city. If that's the case it should be easy af to think of a bunch of places to meet people regardless of your interests.

Ok. Please list thrm off if it is so simple. Keep in mind that it has to be something I have some interest in myself. Nobody likes the dude who only does a thing to meet women.

Just seems weird how you've repeatedly proclaimed how easy it is without offering any meaningful advice or ideas.
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TommyG663513 posted...

Ok. Please list thrm off if it is so simple. Keep in mind that it has to be something I have some interest in myself.

How am I supposed to know what you're non-comedy interests are and what city you're in? Like, why are you having trouble thinking of different things you like to do where you live?

TommyG663513 posted...

Just seems weird how you've repeatedly proclaimed how easy it is without offering any meaningful advice or ideas.

QwelzaarKane posted...

Think about things you like to do (besides comedy), go to where like-minded people congregate, and socialize.

I can't offer more than that because I don't know you. I'm also not about to sit here and do research on where you should go to meet women. That's your job.
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Honestly the only time I ever hear guys talking like this is because they're frustrated they aren't getting laid.

Which is fine, it's understandably a frustrating thing. But you should probably focus on things you can change about yourself rather than ways the rest of the world is flawed
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QwelzaarKane posted...

TommyG663513 posted...

Ok. Please list thrm off if it is so simple. Keep in mind that it has to be something I have some interest in myself.

How am I supposed to know what you're non-comedy interests are and what city you're in? Like, why are you having trouble thinking of different things you like to do where you live?

TommyG663513 posted...

Just seems weird how you've repeatedly proclaimed how easy it is without offering any meaningful advice or ideas.

QwelzaarKane posted...

Think about things you like to do (besides comedy), go to where like-minded people congregate, and socialize.

I can't offer more than that because I don't know you. I'm also not about to sit here and do research on where you should go to meet women. That's your job.

So you basically have nothing lol. Perhaps you shouldn't try to pretend to be so certain that there are tons of ways to meet women when it really isn't that easy.

Comedy is basically the most social interest I have with the greatest chance of meeting women. I certainly feel it has limitations in that regard, but idk. I have gotten women to compliment my act a few times, but it has always been a girl with a date. Again, performing comedy helps me feel more confident and comfortable with myself. That seems a lot more important than meeting women.

It's kind of stupid to just do things for the purpose of meeting women
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Here's a reflective question

If you don't seem to possess an interest that any woman shares, what would you see yourself doing in a relationship

You shouldn't do things for the sake of meeting women but if you are that limited in personal interests it wouldn't help to expand your horizons a little bit
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TommyG663513 posted...

Perhaps you shouldn't try to pretend to be so certain that there are tons of ways to meet women

You're asking me things specific to you and where you live. Tf you expect me to do? I can think of ten places off the top of my head around me where I would go to meet people with similar interests.
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All_My_Life posted...

Here's a reflective question

If you don't seem to possess an interest that any woman shares, what would you see yourself doing in a relationship

You shouldn't do things for the sake of meeting women but if you are that limited in personal interests it wouldn't help to expand your horizons a little bit

Bingo.

Developing new interests not only broadens your horizons, but also gives you more opportunities to meet women. Simply doing new things for the sake of trying new things as the focus comes with women as a bonus.

Hence, developing yourself remains the best advice. Most guys dont understand what it means when given that advice though.

Women are a want, not a need. In this context anyway.

Doing the same stuff when you acknowledge it limits you is odd ONLY if it bothers you youre single.
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Flockaveli posted...

Conversate isnt a word. You meant converse.

Im pretty sure I heard an uneducated, old-timey cowboy use that word before.
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cuttin_in_farm posted...

All_My_Life posted...

Here's a reflective question

If you don't seem to possess an interest that any woman shares, what would you see yourself doing in a relationship

You shouldn't do things for the sake of meeting women but if you are that limited in personal interests it wouldn't help to expand your horizons a little bit

Bingo.

Developing new interests not only broadens your horizons, but also gives you more opportunities to meet women. Simply doing new things for the sake of trying new things as the focus comes with women as a bonus.

Hence, developing yourself remains the best advice. Most guys dont understand what it means when given that advice though.

Women are a want, not a need. In this context anyway.

Doing the same stuff when you acknowledge it limits you is odd ONLY if it bothers you youre single.

This is the problem with people on here who have no personal interests besides video games lol. They wouldn't want to do anything else and it'd just be so boring in an actual relationship
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maybe women should try playing some video gams
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YukihoHagiwara posted...

maybe women should try playing some video gams

They do

But that doesn't mean that's all they'd want to do with a significant other
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All_My_Life posted...

YukihoHagiwara posted...

maybe women should try playing some video gams

They do

But that doesn't mean that's all they'd want to do with a significant other

then they haven't played enough
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QwelzaarKane posted...

TommyG663513 posted...

Perhaps you shouldn't try to pretend to be so certain that there are tons of ways to meet women

You're asking me things specific to you and where you live. Tf you expect me to do? I can think of ten places off the top of my head around me where I would go to meet people with similar interests.

Then list them. It isn't that hard, but you keep dancing around it.
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TommyG663513 posted...

Then list them. It isn't that hard, but you keep dancing around it.

Art museum
Rock n roll hall of fame
Science center
Local theatre
Concert halls
Tremont
Kelly's Island & Put-in-Bay
Boston Mills & Brandywine
Sugarcreek
Public Square and the rest of downtown
Metroparks

I didn't dance around anything. You were asking me to name shit near you that you would be interested in. I ask again: tf you really expect me to do there? I don't know you or where you live so I literally can't do what you were asking before.
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