Current Events > CYOA: You are a normal person looking for normal friends

(+) Yeah! (+)

The ringing of the school bell echoes through the hallway as everyone steps out of the classroom. Its finally the end of the first day!

...And you havent made a single friend. If high school is anything like your old middle school days, that means youre socially fucked. Everyones gonna form their cliques and youll be left sitting by yourself in the corner lunch table, sipping on Limited Edition BanApple Capri Sun.

Yknow, like some weirdo. As if BanApple would make you popular.

Mark my words, world! You will all appreciate BanApple! you scream at the hallway with raised hands.

A pair of girls walk past you, giving you strange looks.

Your face reddens as you lower your arms. Thats two people you could never show your face to ever again.

A sigh leaves your mouth as you pace around in a circle. Its time to devise a plan so that you could avoid doing this loner shit for four more years.

You hear the sound of crinkling paper. Looking down on your shoe, you see a colorful poster which reads, uh, something. Its written in some freaky looking language. Somehow, youre able to understand it though. Looking for an assistant. Head over to room B203 after school. Free snacks included.

Hmm. Snacks. You smack your cheeks. This is no time to be distracted by food. Youve got friends to make!

Suddenly, a flash of light blooms from the window of a nearby classroom door, followed by a few white feathers floating out from the bottom of the door. It opens partly, with a hand darting out from it to yank back the feathers.

Not that you noticed. Youre too deep in thought. After a bit, you shrug and make your way to the restrooms up ahead. Maybe a good splash of cold water will give you some ideas.



You look at the mirror with a dripping face. Admittedly, looking at your somber self is not the best source of inspiration.

You feel someone brush against your back. Turning around, you could only catch a glimpse of the person as they enter a stall.

Wait. Shouldnt you have been able to see them from the mirror?
...Nah, your face is just too wet to see shit. You dry yourself and walk out.

You pace around a circle again. Theres gotta be a perfect way to get friends quickly. Maybe being in the right place will give you some ideas.

A) Check out room B203 and claim your free snacks
B) Check out the feathery room
C) Check back at the bathroom again
D) Keep wandering the school
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badump
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A
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D
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Yay, a new nikko CYOA! Looking forward to it, its been a while.

Going B for this one
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"You are a normal person looking for normal friends"

This is going to end up with the twist I'm actually a space alien, isn't it?
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A

B
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0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

Yay, a new nikko CYOA! Looking forward to it, its been a while.

Going B for this one

didnt think i racked enough of a reputation for cyoas lol, ive been having lots of doubts with my writing lately but best thing to do is just write *shrug*

EverDownward posted...

"You are a normal person looking for normal friends"

This is going to end up with the twist I'm actually a space alien, isn't it?

also we got a tie for A and B
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A
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nikko004 posted...

didnt think i racked enough of a reputation for cyoas lol,

Nah mate, you definitely do
---

A) Check out Room B203 and claim your free snacks

Yeah, its hard to think on an empty stomach.



You take the stairs up to the B corridor, standing right before the door of B203.

Seeping under the door is an eerie purple fog.

...Thats gotta be the snacks!

You creek the door open and peek in. Uh, excuse me, is this the snacks club-- More purple fog buffets your face.

Someone inside coughs violently. They wave away the fog with a canoe oar, revealing herself to be some girl with a weird pointy hat.

Upon making eye contact with you, she hides behind a stove with a large cooking pot, where the purple fog seems to be coming from. Who dares to trespass my lair?

You stand there aloof. Um, well, I read that there was free food here?

She pauses at first, staring at you with caution, then stands up and stirs the pot with her oar. So youre able to decipher the Elder writing on that poster, she says with a blank expression. Impressive. Youre perfect to be my great assistant--

Your stomach rumbles aggressively. I, uh, dont want to be rude, but if you were advertising free snacks, I would very much like some.

She sighs and opens a drawer behind her, tossing a bag of chips over her shoulder to you. I dont know how long thats been in there. Enjoy it if you can.

You open it with glee, only for a chip to fall out from opening it too strongly. Shit, five-second rule, you say as you crouch under the table to pick it up.

Amidst your crouching, the pot suddenly erupts with eldritch tendrils spasming all over the place.

The girl sighs and takes out her smartphone, putting it up to take a selfie with her and the otherworldly creature in frame. Somehow, shes able to keep a deadpan face in the picture.

She captions it with when you accidentally summon the #endoftheworld LOL " still keeping up her blank face.

After hitting [post], she twirls her oar around and beats back the Thing into the pot.

You stand back up from under the table. Hey, that chip wasnt stale!

She stares at you again. Hm. Fearless, arent you.

Oh, yeah, a fallen chip aint that bad. You take another chip. I dont know why people dont believe in the five-second rule. Cmon people, foods food!

...I meant the--

You take a loud crunchy bite. So *crunch* anyway, what is this? *crunch* The cooking club? Do you need an assistant chef or something?

She ponders for a moment, then goes back to stirring with a sigh. Something like that. Are you interested in joining?

A) Sure why not
B) Nah, you're only interested in making friends fast
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A
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B. I need my friends, NAO
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A
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Also I got a pretty good chuckle at the selfie thing
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A
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A) Sure why not

You finish up your chip. Mm, sounds good! Maybe learning how to cook will get me some friends!

Friends? Are you having difficulties gathering some?

You piercingly crunch up another chip. Well, *crunch* yeah. See, I miss a lot of social cues, yknow?

Evidently, she mutters.

Yeah so, *crunch* that tends to make people think Im weird or something. You pause. Wait, am I weirding you out right now?

The pot starts to bubble up. She smacks it with her oar, causing it to sizzle down. Youre fine. Trust me, Ive seen...weirder.

You lean against the table, just about a meter away from the pot, but facing away from it. Oh, thats good! I mean, Im used to weirding people out, so its not like, a big deal if you are.

A gooping tendril emerges from the pot, making its way towards you. In a panic, she drops her oar and tries to grab a hold of it to stop it, but its too slippery. N-no, really, she reaches for her oar again, Im absolutely enjoying this conversation.

You take out another chip. Really? Im enjoying it too! Hey, yknow, youre a really nice person!

The tendril is mere inches from you now. It pounces at you--

Upon biting the chip, a piece falls. Ah shit, wouldnt want you to clean this up, you say while crouching down and avoiding a horrendous neck massage.

She mercilessly beats back the creature into the pot once more. With the pot at rest, she takes a seat, exhausted. Oh *huff* thank...you. She clears her throat. You seem nice as well, so I recommend that you stand clear of the pot.

You quickly jump away from the table. Aw fuck, I did it again! Im sorry. See, youd think common sense would tell me that I shouldnt be near a boiling pot.

Sure, lets go with that. She stands up. And again, its fine, really. Im not angry, I am simply concerned for your safety.

You get up close to her face, staring at her intently. Yknow

She leans back a bit with a raised eyebrow. Uh...yes?

...Youre a really really nice person!

She covers her face with her big hat and nudges you back with her oar. Thank you, its nice to hear that twice in a row. But you really shouldnt be near this pot for now.

You jump back again. Ah, goddamnit, Im so sorry. I swear I heard you the first time, promise!

She sighs, but ever so slightly smiles at you. Its fine. Seriously.

You sit down, taking out the last chip. Say, do you

A) ...wanna be friends?
B) ...know anything about making friends?
C) ...have any more food? (exits the room)
D) "...need any help?"
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B
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A. All this detouring is keeping from my primary directive of making friends.
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A.

A

nikko004 posted...

0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

Yay, a new nikko CYOA! Looking forward to it, its been a while.

Going B for this one

didnt think i racked enough of a reputation for cyoas lol, ive been having lots of doubts with my writing lately but best thing to do is just write *shrug*

For sure man, youve had at least three great ones that I can remember offhand - the JRPG slimes, Beezlebubs roommate, and trapped in a simulation. I thoroughly enjoyed all of those.
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A
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Bump
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0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

I thoroughly enjoyed all of those.

That actually means a lot, thank you ^^
Also happy Easter yall!

A) ...wanna be friends?

She pauses; her eyes slightly widened. Friends? With me?

Yeah! You freeze up again. ...Wait, shit, was it wrong to just ask like that?

She sighs with a small smile and walks up to you, tapping you on the head with her oar. Listen, I dont have many friends either, but I can tell you this much: you dont immediately become friends just by asking. Especially when we dont even know each others names.

You look away. Oh. My bad.

That said, she goes back to the pot and continues stirring again, Im Naomi. You did say youre willing to join me, so we can at least start as clubmates.

Your eyes light up as you jump up from your seat. Clubmates!? Ill take it! Thank you so much, miss Naomi!

Just Naomi is fine. Oh, and you might want to fill this out.

She stirs a bit more, then fishes out a dripping piece of paper from the pot and shakes it around. Magically, it dries up in no time. She then hands it to you along with a pen. Just your name, student number, and phone number is all I need.

Done, done, and...done! you say, handing it back to her.

She looks it over intently. ...Lee. Thanks for keeping me company today. The day is almost over, so perhaps Ill see you tomorrow?



You sit quietly in the corner of the cafeteria, sipping on your usual BanApple while watching everyone else here actually enjoying their lunch time with friends.

The realization dawns on you. You still havent made any friends. Clubmates arent even close to friends. At least, not enough for them to have lunch with you.

The second realization dawns on you. Youve drank 3 BanApples now. Its dawning so hard that its reached your bladder.

You make a mad dash for the restrooms.

Once there, you bust right into one of the two stalls and do your business.

As you do your thing, you see some...red liquid seep from the stall next to you.

A) Tell whoever is in that stall about their ketchup problem
B) Ignore it and go back to the cafeteria
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A
---

A
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B

A) Tell them about their ketchup problem

You knock on the stall wall. Excuse me sir, you seem to be spilling ketchup everywhere.

...Ketchup? says the voice in the other stall. Oh shit, fuck!

A long pause ensues. Not a peep from them.

You zip up and flush. Before you could exit your stall, they finally say something.

Bro. We have a code No-White. I repeat, code No-White. Emergency levels are at max.

You panic. Oh shit, an emergency? Are we gonna die?!

Wait, shit, are we?!

I dont know, you said we have an emergency!

Oh. They pause. Well, Im still out of TP man, so Im kinda fucked here.

Is that an emergency? I usually just call my mom when that happens.

Yooo, good idea man!

A phone rings in their stall, followed by some chattering. Yeah, mom, its me. Sorry for hitting you up at work but Im out of TP. *chatter* ...You cant? *chatter* ...No, yeah Im still at school. *chatter* ...Dang, aight, love you bye. *click*

They groan. Mom said shes busy with work right now so she cant help me.

Oh. Well, Im out of ideas then, you say as you grab a piece of the TP in your stall to wipe a slight runny nose.

Awww shit bro, what am I gonna do?! Im gonna be stuck here and miss 4th period! Thats my nap time period man!

Why not just, uh, leave?

Hells naw bro! Mom didnt raise me to make life harder for the janitor!

A) This aint your problem; return to the cafeteria
B) Run out and look for a mop bucket
C) Find someone who can help
D) Offer him TP
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C
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D

C

Also we need to get @Eevee-Trainer in here
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B
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C) Find someone who can help

You bust out of the stalls. Okay, you sit tight and Ill find someone that can help!

Sounds good bro!

The moment you exit the restroom door, you collide into a girl who also just walked out of the womens restroom.

Ah, sorry! both of you say at the same time.

In the collision, she dropped a pouch of BanApple.

Your eyes immediately light up. Hey-- upon looking at her face directly, you almost thought you were looking at a mirror; this girl looks really similar to you.

Probably from being a fellow BanApple fan! You feel like you could definitely rely on her.

Hey, you continue, I have a frien...a somebody that needs help inside the restrooms. Could you help us?

She picks up her BanApple and tilts her head. In...the boys bathroom?

Yeah! ...Wait, did I miss another cue? I feel like it was wrong to ask.

Youre asking for help, right? She sips the last of the pouch and tosses it into a nearby trash can like a basketball. I dont see anything wrong with asking for help!

With that, she barges right into the boys bathroom. You follow behind.

Shit dude, is you there??? says the person in the stall which seems to have even more ketchup spreading through the floor. Did you get any TP???

You walk up to their stall. No, but I found help!

She slowly approaches the stall, looking at the red stuff with bewilderment. That is a lot of ketchup.

Yooo that sounded like a kid! you brought a lil 11-year old dude in here to help?

She puts her hands on her hips. Hey! Im pretty sure Im the same age as you guys! And definitely not a dude!

A moment of silence.
Ketchup-guy rattles the stall a bit. Bro you brought a girl into the boys room?!

Can we just focus? you both say at the same time.

Damn, chill, aight. So how are you gonna help, lady?

She puts a hand on her chin. Its Leah, not lady. And I dunno, uh, can you open the stall? I wanna know whats happening in there.

Yooo good idea! he says as the stall clicks, and the door swings open.

There, you see a pretty tall guy squatting on top of the toilet which is currently closed up with the cover. Hes holding a blood bag with a hole on the bottom, dripping with the red fluid.

Wow, you say, thats the biggest ketchup packet Ive ever seen.

Is that your lunch? Just ketchup straight out of the packet all day? Leah asks.

He sweats a bit. Uh yeah dudes, ketchup, totally. Cant get enough of it. Anyways dudes, where do yall think were gonna get more TP?

You all hum in unison and in thought.

Suddenly, the door starts creaking open. Shit. Gotta think fast.

A) Hide in the empty stall
B) Hide in with this guy
C) Stay out here and cause a distraction
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Lmao this was the best update yet

B
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B
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No. I am a normal person looking for normal porn.
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B

B
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A, just to be contrary.
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B
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B) Hide in with this guy

Your one barely functioning brain-cell decides to jump into this guy's stall.

Shit dudes, he says as the stall door shuts and he catches you with one arm, yall scared the shit outta me!

You look to your left and see Leah being held in his other arm. Wow. You got pretty strong arms--

Oh man, a voice from outside says, Taco Bell for lunch is a fucking terrible idea, seriously.

You're telling me, dude, says another guy. I gotta take a monster fucking shit right now--

They both gasp.

I think they found the bl...uh, the ketchup, dudes, Ketchup guy whispers.

Yo, anyone there? Anyone alive, preferably? the outsider asks.

The three of you stay silent.

In an attempt to think quick, Leah speaks up. Leave this place at once!

Both you and ketchup guy start sweating.

The hell? A kid? says one guy.

Why the hell does everyone think I'm a child?! I'm a fucking girl!

Yo. There are two things that shouldn't be in this bathroom: Chicks, and blood! says the other guy.

How rude! I can't help that it's that time of the month!

A pause. ...you mean, like, periods? This is what a period is like?!

She grins. This isn't even that bad! But if you guys anger me more than this she bangs the stall wall, there'll be more blood!

They both squeal.

What are you doing?! You whisper.

Duh, I'm helping! she whispers back.

Yo, there's more girls in there?! the outsider says.

Uh, you say in a high pitch voice, no, I'm just, uh, a ghost. And I definitely didn't cause all of this ket...blood.

Leah interjects. Its just what happens during a period, alright? You bleed a little, and sometimes you get haunted. Thats just your everyday month for girls!

Women are mad scary bro, Im taking my shit at another toilet! one outsider screams as he bolts out the door.

Shit man, I dont wanna get haunted! he starts sprinting.

Yo hold up dude, says Ketchup guy, we need hella TP bro!

A few rolls of TP fly into the stall, followed by the fading sound of running.

Leah catches one. Its a good thing ketchup looks kinda like blood!

Fucking score, broskis! Yall saved my ass! Ketchup guy says just before catching a few with his mouth.



After a bit of cleaning, the three of you exit the bathroom.

Thanks a lot bros! Ketchup guy grins as he slaps your back. Names Drake. If yall need any favors, Im your guy!

You nod at him.

Do you have a name, ghost boy? Leah asks.

Uh, you put a hand behind your neck. Im Lee. Nice to meet you all!

Nice meeting you too bros! Drake says with a grin.

This seems like a good chance to

A) Ask them to be friends
B) Ask them about how to make friends
C) Go back to the cafeteria
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B
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B
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B
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Also B
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A

B) Ask them how to make friends

Hey, uh, you begin, do you guys know how to make friends?

Leah shrugs. Ive been figuring that out too. Are you popular, Drake?

Hells naw, but you dont need friends, dudes, says Drake. I mean, look at me. I got no friends and Im doing just fine!

She raises an eyebrow. Are you though? You eat ketchup for lunch.

I was born like this, aight? Damn, let a man live.

You look down. I dont know...Ive always been alone, and I dont really feel happy about it.

Leah pats your shoulder. Aww, hang in there, ghost boy. You and I can be partners in this journey of getting friends!

Your eyes light up. Partners?! Ill take it! you say as you put your hand on her shoulder to mirror her.

Drake grumbles a bit while closing his eyes in thought. Hmmrrng his eyes suddenly shoot open with determination. ...alright, fine! Tell you what dudes, Im gonna get yall some friends as a favor, aight? Were gonna be allies in this friendship shit!

Your eyes sparkle more. Whoa...I just got a partner and an ally in the same day.

He puffs his chest out. Alright bros, lets do this--
The lunch bell rings.

...Alright bros, well do this tomorrow! he says as he struts off to the classrooms.

Leah also starts walking away, waving at you. Guess Ill see you tomorrow lunch, Lee.

Your face is still dumbfounded and in awe at the progress youve made today.


---

You walk into your English classroom very early and find the nearest seat to the door. Since there isnt any assigned seating and no ones really here yet, you find the option of being able to escape easily very appealing.

Before you arrived, however, there was already another girl sitting in the corner just across from you. She slouches in her seat with a lollipop in her mouth, intensely focused on playing her Nintendo Switch.

Other students begin to arrive and scatter to find a seat.

Strangely enough, whenever someone comes that lollipop girls seat, they seem to just turn away from it and find someplace else to seat, not even acknowledging that girls existence.

Everyone must just be really polite as to not disturb her!

The bell rings again as the teacher walks in, marking the beginning of class.

Alright everyone, lets give it up for day 2, he says.

Cricket noises.

I can really feel the excitement, guys, he says with a sigh. Anyways, youre all freshmen now. Hope thats sinking in, because youll be doing more work than in middle school. As in, right now. A group project.

Everyone groans.
Yes yes, hold your applause. Youll pair up with somebody and present a narrative essay about each other at the end of the year. He then waves at everyone. Alright now, shoo, have fun and find somebody.

Within a second of hearing that, everyone gets up and gets with their friends. All the cliques have their pairs ready; middle school buddies are already together, and even the people who seemed quiet managed to find somebody.

The only people that havent gotten up are you and the lollipop girl.

The teacher looks at you, at a piece of paper which seems to be the class register, then back at you. Lee. Looks like youre the odd one out here. Do you want an alternative solo project?

You tilt your head. Uh, Mr. Fisch, what about the girl over there? you say, pointing at the lollipop girl.

He raises his eyebrow. Whom? That seat is empty, Lee. He glosses over the register again. Ah, we do have a whos been absent since yesterday. Thats where shed be sitting. Did you want to try being partners with her?

You look at her again. Shes clearly right there.

But then again, nobody in this room seems to think she is there.

...She must be really good at concealing her presence! Probably essential to having uninterrupted gaming time.

A) Take on the solo project
B) Agree to pair up with lollipop girl
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