Current Events > Tinder/Bumble/Grindr/etc General: Progress Edition

(+) Yeah! (+)

Can't let this topic die.
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Matching with fat 19 year olds.

It's what my life is now.
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billcom6 posted...

Matching with fat 19 year olds.

It's what my life is now.

Accept the gift tbh.
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Got 25 matches yesterday after resetting my account.

Probably will end up with 0 dates regardless because securing dates is almost as hard as rocket science
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ehh went a tinder date tonight that unfortunately was the classic look nothing like her photos. Her pics weren't even super hot or catfish nor was she hideous in person just way heavier and looked different in person.

I felt bad too cause she was actually super cool to talk to, but at one point the bar tender like didn't come over for like 45 mins and the girl turned to me and was like "i feel like you wanna leave". Couldn't even do the graceful exit

RIP

So many red flags when going out with this girl yesterday for the second time. Werent apparent on our first date bar hopping but damn. My Tinder dating experience hasnt been good at all but damn, this girl takes the cake for crazy.

1) From the start to the finish, talked about each of her jobs and the crushes/flings/exes she had at each job and how they fell out
2) Kept bringing up her sex life with these aforementioned exes (I dont need to know how you had to take a plan b after getting back with your ex)
3) Rude to the waiter (unnecessarily complaints about the food)
4) Casually bringing up how she stabbed her brother one time
5) Believes in horoscopes and signs that explains peoples traits
6) Calls one of her guy friends as Im driving her back to her apartment and talks with him about meeting for drinks

Oh well, you live and you learn.
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So when a girl's profile says she's just looking for new friends, does she actually mean that
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Well, I have two dates set up for this weekend. Hopefully neither flake
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DeroIin posted...

1) From the start to the finish, talked about each of her jobs and the crushes/flings/exes she had at each job and how they fell out
2) Kept bringing up her sex life with these aforementioned exes (I dont need to know how you had to take a plan b after getting back with your ex)

Unless this completely dominates the conversation, I wouldn't really have a problem with this on principle. Past experiences can make for pretty fun conversations.

DeroIin posted...

6) Calls one of her guy friends as Im driving her back to her apartment and talks with him about meeting for drinks

This just feels like she's signaling to you that she's not interested? Unless you had specifically told her that you weren't available for the rest of the night. Very rude
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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

Godnorgosh posted...

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

I re-made a tinder 2 weeks ago. I have 400 matches lol.

Went out with a tinder girl last weekend. Went pretty well. Gonna try to smash this weekend

I must be doing something terribly wrong because I've been on Tinder since 2014 and have less than 1/4 of the matches you do.

I'm not sure how many deleted their profiles over the years, though.

I'm in NYC
I'm fit
My pics show off physique, social life, talents, the basics

easy peasy if you do that

You're an asshat for thinking it's easy for everyone lol. "It's easy, just be at least an 9/10 looking dude and live in one of the biggest city in the world!"

The lack of understanding of what the online dating experience is like for the average male is pretty astounding. It'd be like Kobe Bryant saying "excelling at basketball is easy, anyone can do it! Just get the ball in the damn basket!"

Boo_Guy posted...

You're an asshat for thinking it's easy for everyone lol. "It's easy, just be at least an 9/10 looking dude and live in one of the biggest city in the world!"

I'm far from 9/10, and I'd still say it's easy. Obviously, it's a lot easier in a big city.

I understand quite well what online dating is like for men, and being a decent person will get you far. Knowing how to present yourself as a decent person helps, of course.
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scar the 1 posted...

Boo_Guy posted...

You're an asshat for thinking it's easy for everyone lol. "It's easy, just be at least an 9/10 looking dude and live in one of the biggest city in the world!"

I'm far from 9/10, and I'd still say it's easy. Obviously, it's a lot easier in a big city.

I understand quite well what online dating is like for men, and being a decent person will get you far. Knowing how to present yourself as a decent person helps, of course.

I mean... it's easy if you don't mind a 5/10 girl or a fatty. But getting a cute to hot chick takes a lot more patience and time than is worth, unless you're at least an 8/10, 9/10 dude.

The majority of women don't take dating apps seriously. Women are more social and spend more time and effort elsewhere. And they have to deal with a flood of messages if they're even somewhat cute, so the guy who stands out has obviously gotta be really good looking.

If that's your attitude going into it, then yeah you're going to have a hard time. People who spend a lot of time and effort on their looks likely have that as an interest, and if your profile doesn't signal that you share that interest, then of course they're not going to match with them. If you instead have the attitude that you're looking to meet fun and nice people, you might improve your odds of success.
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Lol, it's not about attitude when it's a physical judgment that's concluded in one or two seconds. Attitude and personality work great in real life, but when it's still pictures on the Internet, it doesn't take you nearly as far.

Again, unless you're a very hot guy, you'll have much better success meeting hot women irl. And at a much faster pace, depending on how much you put yourself out there.

Im a slightly chubby dude and Im still getting a decent amount of matches. Picture presentation and a good profile description is really the key
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Pics of you and pics of the girls you're matching with?

I have a 2nd date with someone from OKC tomorrow night
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I am pretty sure last summer I didn't get any matches like the whole summer. I have gotten a few in the last couple weeks, but none for awhile so I think we are back to no match season.
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billcom6 posted...

I am pretty sure last summer I didn't get any matches like the whole summer. I have gotten a few in the last couple weeks, but none for awhile so I think we are back to no match season.

Are you using Okcupid? It's the best one imo
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Blue_Inigo posted...

billcom6 posted...

I am pretty sure last summer I didn't get any matches like the whole summer. I have gotten a few in the last couple weeks, but none for awhile so I think we are back to no match season.

Are you using Okcupid? It's the best one imo

Never used it before, but I always heard that it sucked.

I live in the middle of nowhere so I doubt many people are on it honestly. Chances are better with tinder and bumble.
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OKC has its pros as it's fairly easy to spot red flags early on
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Boo_Guy posted...

Lol, it's not about attitude when it's a physical judgment that's concluded in one or two seconds. Attitude and personality work great in real life, but when it's still pictures on the Internet, it doesn't take you nearly as far.

It's taken me far enough. It's true that it doesn't hurt to look good, but that really isn't all there is to it. When I used Tinder I would match with plenty of pretty girls in big cities, and I quite intentionally didn't have a single good looking picture in my profile.
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scar the 1 posted...

Boo_Guy posted...

Lol, it's not about attitude when it's a physical judgment that's concluded in one or two seconds. Attitude and personality work great in real life, but when it's still pictures on the Internet, it doesn't take you nearly as far.

It's taken me far enough. It's true that it doesn't hurt to look good, but that really isn't all there is to it. When I used Tinder I would match with plenty of pretty girls in big cities, and I quite intentionally didn't have a single good looking picture in my profile.

Maybe you're just too damn good looking lol
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scar the 1 posted...

Boo_Guy posted...

Lol, it's not about attitude when it's a physical judgment that's concluded in one or two seconds. Attitude and personality work great in real life, but when it's still pictures on the Internet, it doesn't take you nearly as far.

It's taken me far enough. It's true that it doesn't hurt to look good, but that really isn't all there is to it. When I used Tinder I would match with plenty of pretty girls in big cities, and I quite intentionally didn't have a single good looking picture in my profile.

How many of those pretty girls turned into dates or getting laid, though?

I do find it funny when most men exaggerate how effective online dating has been for them. Yeah, you'll get laid here and there, meet women. But it takes more time and effort than is actually worth compared to meeting them IRL, along with a lot of flakes and girls who are just on there for attention. And odds are, the women aren't exactly something you're really into.

So I found a date on Match, she is 20 and I am basically 33.
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Monolith1676 posted...

So I found a date on Match, she is 20 and I am basically 33.

Nice
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Boo_Guy posted...

How many of those pretty girls turned into dates or getting laid, though?

I do find it funny when most men exaggerate how effective online dating has been for them. Yeah, you'll get laid here and there, meet women. But it takes more time and effort than is actually worth compared to meeting them IRL, along with a lot of flakes and girls who are just on there for attention. And odds are, the women aren't exactly something you're really into.

A handful. Could've dated more, but I stuck with one of them. Frankly I was surprised at the volume of matches I would get when I went to cities. But then again, I did have a bit of humor in the profile so they had something to go by.

Blue_Inigo posted...

Maybe you're just too damn good looking lol

Haha, don't worry, I'm not. Even if I were, the pictures either barely showed my face or were just plain unattractive (but funny)
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scar the 1, you either have some extreme good luck, or are highly exaggerating the quality of the women that you match with and go on dates.

Less than stellar looking dudes do not get easy, frequent dates on dating apps with hot women. Period. Doesn't matter how novel your biography is.

Boo_Guy posted...

scar the 1, you either have some extreme good luck, or are highly exaggerating the quality of the women that you match with and go on dates.

Less than stellar looking dudes do not get easy, frequent dates on dating apps with hot women. Period. Doesn't matter how novel your biography is.

And how would you know this?
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scar the 1 posted...

Boo_Guy posted...

scar the 1, you either have some extreme good luck, or are highly exaggerating the quality of the women that you match with and go on dates.

Less than stellar looking dudes do not get easy, frequent dates on dating apps with hot women. Period. Doesn't matter how novel your biography is.

And how would you know this?

Through men that I know. I have a pretty broad social circle across the U.S. I know plenty of good looking dudes in big cities who've used these dating apps, good pics and all. But they do not get matches or dates with the beautiful women that they have no problem getting from a night out.

The online market is just heavily stacked against less than stellar men, to the point where it's not worth the time, unless you just don't mind meh chicks.

Godnorgosh posted...

I feel like kind of a terrible person for this. The other day I matched with someone on Bumble who seems nice and somewhat attractive, but I noticed that she has one hand. I don't know what happened, but it looks as if her other hand never developed for some reason.

I don't know if I should ask her out anyway and try to keep an open mind about it or not even bother and save her the trouble so she can look for someone better.

A friend of mine has this same condition. He's a great guy and functions perfectly fine.

Give this girl a chance if you like her!
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Boo_Guy posted...

Through men that I know. I have a pretty broad social circle across the U.S. I know plenty of good looking dudes in big cities who've used these dating apps, good pics and all. But they do not get matches or dates with the beautiful women that they have no problem getting from a night out.

The online market is just heavily stacked against less than stellar men, to the point where it's not worth the time, unless you just don't mind meh chicks.

Maybe they're doing something wrong then?
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I've seen the profiles. There's nothing wrong.

It's simple economics. Far more men use dsting apps than women, and women get flooded with limitless attention online. Obviously men are going to have less choice/date down than irl, where the playing field is more even.

I know in my area its that there arent enough women. Seriously after 2 days of swiping I am out of people within 35 miles.
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I am going to visit the girl who is kind of my ex at work tomorrow.
Like we haven't seen each other in over a year. I texted her about doing something sometime and she suggested stopping in where she works for a drink. I don't know what I am doing.
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Boo_Guy posted...

I've seen the profiles. There's nothing wrong.

It's simple economics. Far more men use dsting apps than women, and women get flooded with limitless attention online. Obviously men are going to have less choice/date down than irl, where the playing field is more even.

There's by definition something wrong if they aren't matching.
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They get matches, but not close to the caliber of women they pull irl

If you're after the "caliber of woman" that is around "9/10", you'll have to keep in mind that people in this category spend a lot of time and money on their looks. It's countless of hours learning how to apply makeup, researching skin products, scrubbing, exfoliating, daily and weekly skin routines, tending their hair, etc. It's hours upon hours of practicing selfie angles, making different faces to learn how they look. It's hours and hours (and Mooney) every week at the gym, it's not seldom dietary restrictions, walking in shoes that kill their feet. And yeah obviously the beauty products cost tons of bucks. If they're looking at a Tinder profile that is clearly signalling that the guy isn't remotely interested in this kind of lifestyle, of course they're not going to be interested. If you spend similar amounts of money, effort and time on your looks, you'll definitely match with girls like this.
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Bro, I don't know what else to tell you about the online dating market being a game most men can't win. An ugly girl will get way more messages than a hot guy. There are countless studies and stats out there that show just how skewed online dating is. It's basically purgatory for a man who is not stellar in looks. There are better pictures, angles, and bios you can write, but it will not take you much further. If your experience is different and you're not a really hot guy, you're getting all kinds of pretty girls in a week, then you're just insanely lucky or live in some mystical city where the women outnumber men 10 to 1. Or you exaggerate the women's looks.

https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard-to-be-an-average-man-on-dating-apps/

https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a

We can dispel the illusion that more men are on apps instead of women.

What it mostly is l, is that most men go for the same few women.

scar the 1 posted...

If you're after the "caliber of woman" that is around "9/10", you'll have to keep in mind that people in this category spend a lot of time and money on their looks. It's countless of hours learning how to apply makeup, researching skin products, scrubbing, exfoliating, daily and weekly skin routines, tending their hair, etc. It's hours upon hours of practicing selfie angles, making different faces to learn how they look. It's hours and hours (and Mooney) every week at the gym, it's not seldom dietary restrictions, walking in shoes that kill their feet. And yeah obviously the beauty products cost tons of bucks. If they're looking at a Tinder profile that is clearly signalling that the guy isn't remotely interested in this kind of lifestyle, of course they're not going to be interested. If you spend similar amounts of money, effort and time on your looks, you'll definitely match with girls like this.

I can agree with this here. I lift regularly and wear nice clothes, and Ive matched with a girl I consider a 9+ twice ever and Ive certainly never gone out with one. What you need to realize about these women is they are high maintenance; most of them unless you are insanely good looking, well off, and white, you would not be able to date for a long period if at all. I am closer to 30 than 20 now and I can definitely say as you get older there is a date and fuck category. Additionally the vast majority of men are not meeting men of this caliber online. The amount of game and luck required to pulled someone who literally has 12 other men talking to her at all times exceeds anyone who doesnt spend their time making it a hobby to pick up these kinds of women.

The best bet you have is to take of yourself and be realistic. I dont believe leagues are a thing in the traditional sense, but from someones photos you should be able to tell from a social level if someone would associate with you. If you are a quiet guy who enjoys reading dont expect to match with women that have tons of friends that go cool places. If you are a man that doesnt take care of his body, then dont expect a women who does to notice you.
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Well I got ghosted. @Seraphim13 will be happy about that.
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billcom6 posted...

I am going to visit the girl who is kind of my ex at work tomorrow.
Like we haven't seen each other in over a year. I texted her about doing something sometime and she suggested stopping in where she works for a drink. I don't know what I am doing.

It was really nice to see her and talk to her, and she seemed happy I was there. I have no idea if she is seeing anybody or anything. I will probably ask her to hang out and she'll probably say no. I doubt she wants to dig up the past like I do.
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Villain posted...

I have a 2nd date with someone from OKC tomorrow night

On my alt. It went really well.
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Nice. Did you give em the D
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billcom6 posted...

billcom6 posted...

I am going to visit the girl who is kind of my ex at work tomorrow.
Like we haven't seen each other in over a year. I texted her about doing something sometime and she suggested stopping in where she works for a drink. I don't know what I am doing.

It was really nice to see her and talk to her, and she seemed happy I was there. I have no idea if she is seeing anybody or anything. I will probably ask her to hang out and she'll probably say no. I doubt she wants to dig up the past like I do.

Sounds like it was a good time.
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Blue_Inigo posted...

Nice. Did you give em the D

No but we went to a barcade and she put poo for the initials after getting a high score so I dunno did I find my soulmate
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Asked girl out on Monday, she says yes. Ask her if we're still on yesterday, she replies yes today and says she's down for whatever. All of a sudden silence when it's time to meet.

Women are weird
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Blue_Inigo posted...

Asked girl out on Monday, she says yes. Ask her if we're still on yesterday, she replies yes today and says she's down for whatever. All of a sudden silence when it's time to meet.

Women are weird

That's kinda shitty. I get it can be a kind of nervous thing to meet a total stranger, but once you confirm and then when you're ready to meet up she ghosts that isn't cool.

Hopefully you weren't at the place you were supposed to meet and stood up completely?

Boo_Guy posted...

Bro, I don't know what else to tell you about the online dating market being a game most men can't win. An ugly girl will get way more messages than a hot guy. There are countless studies and stats out there that show just how skewed online dating is. It's basically purgatory for a man who is not stellar in looks. There are better pictures, angles, and bios you can write, but it will not take you much further. If your experience is different and you're not a really hot guy, you're getting all kinds of pretty girls in a week, then you're just insanely lucky or live in some mystical city where the women outnumber men 10 to 1. Or you exaggerate the women's looks.

https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard-to-be-an-average-man-on-dating-apps/

https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a

I know full well that the male and female Tinder experiences are really different. But I also know that a lot of men can barely go two messages without asking to hook up, so a lot of competition is fairly trivial to outmatch if you're trying.

And again: it's less about being born handsome than it is about investing in your image. Once you've spent similar amounts of time and money into your image, you'll very likely be matching with the people you quite reductively rank at the top.
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