Board 8 > All-Purpose Wrestling Topic Part 499 - 2020 is EVIL

(+) Yeah! (+)

Five minutes until the start of AEW's women's tag team tournament. Jericho endorsed Nyla & Ariane vs. Taynara & Anna Jay as being really good so let's see if he's full of it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXcCQ9mhODc

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I just finished watching it.

Jericho did not fib. That match was actually really good.

But first, the opening match was Nightmare Sisters vs. Penelope Ford & Mel. Before this, they explain the Nightmare Sisters being together because Allie just looked in the basket and picked out the same color as Brandi. I'm glad they didn't pretend they happened to get picked together.

Penelope Ford was the standout because she has just improved so much in such a short amount of time. Really surprised by how well she's been improving. Allie rakes Mel's eyes and then Brandi hits a spear for the win. Kind of expected. Kip Sabian was also another standout in this match because it's Kip Sabian.

Then Nyle & Ariane vs. Tay Conti & Anna Jay. Anna Jay came out with the Dark Order and is kind of gothed up but not really? But I'm going to be real: my expectations were low, and they exceeded them a lot. Ariane actually looks like she's done a ton of training. Like, she's legit solid in the ring now. I was stunned considering she was trying to pin people while they were on their front in WWE. Tay Conti has a lot of personality and really got to use her black belt moves to impress. Anna Jay looked the best Anna Jay has ever looked, honestly. I don't know if Nyla is the glue that held it together or what, but all of these girls looked great.

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Oh, and they put Veda Scott on commentary, had Medusa come out to introduce the tournament, and Shaul Guerrero is doing the announcing.

Veda Scott did great.

Edit: OH! And Brandi was acting the most heel ever in her post-match promo, but she's really, really not very good at character stuff and I have no faith that it was intentional. But I came across after it being like "Wow, Brandi is a horrible person." Which... I have no idea if it's intentional or not because it's Brandi and that's the best explanation I have.

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Like this shit is so heelish.

But

It's Brandi.

So I can't be assured it's intentional.

https://twitter.com/TheBrandiRhodes/status/1290432292960313346

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Oh, and they put Veda Scott on commentary, had Medusa come out to introduce the tournament, and Shaul Guerrero is doing the announcing.

Veda Scott did great.

Edit: OH! And Brandi was acting the most heel ever in her post-match promo, but she's really, really not very good at character stuff and I have no faith that it was intentional. But I came across after it being like "Wow, Brandi is a horrible person." Which... I have no idea if it's intentional or not because it's Brandi and that's the best explanation I have.

*Madusa

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WWE Fight Club is actually what they're doing.

Wrestling in a basement without a ring.

This is the best they could come up with.

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WWE is just giving up it seems

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Convince me this doesn't look like the lamest shit you have ever seen in your life.

https://twitter.com/GifSkullIV/status/1290460838009212928?s=20

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I feel like I don't wanna fault a fed for trying something weird in these Unprecedented Times TM

or in general, but that's the chaos-craving WCW mark in me

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Hes got dancing women as eye candy in his underground fight club

https://twitter.com/wwecreative_ish/status/1290465656366944258?s=21
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Tom Bombadil posted...

I feel like I don't wanna fault a fed for trying something weird in these Unprecedented Times TM

or in general, but that's the chaos-craving WCW mark in me

Well Raw Underground basically has the Nitro Girls

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I hope it gets called a temple of violence at some point

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I wasn't allowed to watch the Nitro Girls segments as a kid so frickin' sign me up

I'm not super into eye candy these days but it's the forbidden fruit man

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Tom Bombadil posted...

I wasn't allowed to watch the Nitro Girls segments as a kid so frickin' sign me up

I'm not super into eye candy these days but it's the forbidden fruit man

Just you wait until these segments somehow draw stupidly high numbers and suddenly Asuka and Sasha are fighting for the RAW women's title in a Bra and Panties match.

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Jesus Christ. The camera cuts.

https://twitter.com/WWE/status/1290468202502410243?s=20

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https://twitter.com/seanrosssapp/status/1290466928423821315?s=21
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hey if it was regular WWE it'd be 1600 and half the shots would be of the "crowd" so

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Don't worry

After a few months of this, they'll learn about shaky cam for fights.

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Why is Zelina Vega dressed like the sun?

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StealThisSheen posted...

Don't worry

After a few months of this, they'll learn about shaky cam for fights.

If its good enough to Liam Neeson, it's good enough for WWE.

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Other stuff I've heard about Raw.

Montez Ford got dosed or something?

There was a match between Shayna Baszler and Sasha that ended because Asuka attacked Bayley ringside?

Nia Jax is feuding Pat Buck and got suspended indefinitely?

And a box fell?

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There are now men and women in black outfits throwing molotov cocktails at WWE equipment.

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Montez Ford got dosed or something?

POISONED
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And yes there was a breaking news report from Charly earlier that heavy box had been tipped over backstage
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Can someone please confirm that the totally not political faction is just an Antifa faction?

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Fuck. This is all going to make me almost want to ironically watch RAW to laugh at how awful it is. Is it possible they're actually heading to so bad it's good territory?

https://twitter.com/WWE/status/1290473444866433024?s=20

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Seth Rollins is cutting a promo on Tom Phillips, and a bunch of guys are yelling "You suck, Tom!"

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This RAW honest to god sounds like a giant fever dream. Why is Rollins cutting a promo on Tom Who-Gives-a-Fuck Phillips!?

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

This RAW honest to god sounds like a giant fever dream. Why is Rollins cutting a promo on Tom Who-Gives-a-Fuck Phillips!?

Because Tom laughed at him for getting beat up by Dominik Guerrero.

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And for an NXT commerical they used the tagline "Welcome to the Underground."

How many undergrounds does this company have?

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Is this the Underground that Sami Zayn was the Underdog of?

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Jesus they must really want Rey to re-sign. Dominik literally clowning Seth Rollins week after week.

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Jesus Christ Shelton Benjamin is super jacked.

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So the ending was just Beatdown Club beating up random people.

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Wait so they didn't even debut the new stable?

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Wait they're called the Hurt Business.

So the final scene was a bunch of 40 year old dudes beating up some no names in a non-ring.

And the anarchists haven't been revealed. Hey remember when NXT had a group of anarchists that showed up on hoods and face masks?

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https://twitter.com/ryansatin/status/1290479007113175042?s=21

LMAO
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TheRock1525 posted...

Wait they're called the Hurt Business.

So the final scene was a bunch of 40 year old dudes beating up some no names in a non-ring.

And the anarchists haven't been revealed. Hey remember when NXT had a group of anarchists that showed up on hoods and face masks?

Yeah, remember how they hyped them up for months and then Vince decided he didn't like it and proceeded to have them all squashed when they debuted?

Good times.

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Wait, Brennan Williams was one of the people who got beat down? Did they even acknowledge it was him? Or are they just acting like he's a random dude now? lol

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Yeah, remember how they hyped them up for months and then Vince decided he didn't like it and proceeded to have them all squashed when they debuted?

Good times.

Funny part is that he had them beat New Day in their debut.

And then immediately gave up on them.

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Like if you ever wanted a microcosm of WWE problems, the final shot featured 4 men and the "youngest" of the group was 44 year old Bobby Lashley.

Not your (relatively well-booked) Babyface Champion Drew McIntyre.

Or even your current double champs Bayley and/or Sasha Banks.

Nope, 3 dudes in their 40's and 1 dude in his 50's, and the 3 dudes spent the entire time beating up no-name people we don't care about.

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OMG I JUST REMEMBERED.

Sanity was killed in a 3v1 Handicap Falls Count Anywhere Match BY THE MIZ.

Jesus Christ.

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AND THIS WAS LITERALLY AFTER YOU MADE THEM LOOK LIKE JOKES EARLIER IN THE SHOW.

MVP couldn't beat Apollo Crews.
Shelton Benjamin, even with Lashley and MVP at ringside, couldn't win a no-DQ match to retain his title against fucking Akira Tozawa and R-Truth.

And now ooooooh they're a scary group because they beat up some lame-o's that aren't even named wrestlers. You had Erik and Ivar there earlier. You had Dolph Ziggler. Let them get tossed around to show that they're actually a worthwhile group. How was this your big hook to help with your pitiful 3rd hour numbers?

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WWE Sucks

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Whiskey_Nick posted...

WWE Sucks

Flaming hot take.

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Like I kept sitting there and waiting for the moment when they'd just beat the shit out of Shane because there's no way Shane is equipped to host this thing week to week but MVP would be perfect for it. Like turning it into a believable fight club where MVP makes money off of it via betting, Lashley is the enforcer/bouncer, and Shelton is the prized fighter who takes of a mixture of no-name jobbers and actual wrestlers week after week. I mean they are literally called "The Hurt Business" i.e. they profit from hurting people. Randomly beating people up makes them the Hurt Charity.

It's like... it's right there. If you insist on making this a thing, fine, but you had a moment where you could have made a reason for it to exist, especially for these 3 characters that really don't need to be a faction.

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