Board 8 > Board 8 Ranks Crime Films Part II: Disorganized Crime - The Rankings!

(+) Yeah! (+)

Hello and welcome to Board 8's 2nd crime film ranking and what I believe is the 35th Board 8 film ranking! (Correct me if I'm wrong, or don't.)

Over the last approximately 3 months, at least 9 Board 8ers have been watching, ranking and reviewing a list of 30 films within the general "crime" genre. Huge thanks to everyone who's been participating in a watchathon of what are many of my personal favorite films; I hope you all enjoyed at least most of the murder and mayhem you witnessed!

So what does Disorganized Crime mean? Unlike the last crime list, which focused on the mafia, the Yakuza, and general organized crime, this one takes the opposite approaches. You'll still see gangs here and there, but they're rarely the main focus. Here we're looking at your assassins, vigilantes, thieves. Your amateurs, outlaws and rogues. Your families committing crime to survive and your detectives fighting their corrupt system.

The films:
A Clockwork Orange - 1971
Baby Driver - 2017
Bad Times at the El Royale - 2018
Blood Simple - 1984
Bonnie and Clyde - 1967
Bullet Train - 2022
Burn After Reading - 2008
Dial M for Murder - 1954
Dog Day Afternoon - 1975
Drive - 2011
Fargo - 1996
Good Time - 2017
Heat - 1995
Jackie Brown - 1997
Lon: The Professional - 1994
M - 1931
Nightcrawler - 2014
No Country for Old Men - 2007
Ocean's Eleven - 2001
Oldboy - 2003
Raising Arizona - 1987
Serpico - 1973
Shoplifters - 2018
Taxi Driver - 1976
The Big Lebowski - 1998
The Boondock Saints - 1999
The French Connection - 1971
The Man Who Wasn't There - 2001
The Town - 2010
You Were Never Really Here - 2019

The Partipants:
Johnbobb
Inviso
PrinceKaro
LightningStrikes
Seginustemple
Seanchan
Pokewars
jcgamer107
Mythiot

The scores!
69
74
84
84
86
95
106
110
116
116
117
127
130
130
136
144
146
151
152
160
161
171
174
175
179
182
184
187
200
239

Yes you are seeing that right, that is a 39-point difference between 29th and 30th place, so if anyone has a last-minute ranking to get in, know that it is literally impossible for you to change what ranked last!

We've also got 3 ties which will be broken by removing the highest and lowest ranking outliers

First ranking drops tonight!

Looking forward to the list!

Surely with those scores last place has to be my number 30.

Yeah, we all pretty clearly hate the same movie. Close race at the top though

average ranking of around 27 for the the last place film

seems about right

I'm going to guess The Boondock Saints!

I'll guess Blood Simple

Oops. Sent my list in super late and only after Johnbobb reminded me so thank you Johnbobb!

Also there were 29 movies on this list I actually liked to some degree which is far and away the highest percentage on any of these lists I've done! Good job curating this imo.

Tag!

A movie that would be so universally hated as to get a 239/270...

I'm going to guess...Good Time.

Not to tip my hand too much but that is definitely not what I think of when I think of universally hated movies!

And we have a new challenger! With Suprak's list added, we have new totals:

71
75
88
89
109
112
122
123
128
131
133
140
141
153
156
160
166
167
169
169
172
187
190
190
200
206
207
211
216
269

Yes, for those of you doing the math, that was in fact another 30 for the current last place, bringing it to a startling 53 point difference between 29th and 30th

with that, let's get this going. Fun fact, I looked at the results from Organized Crime, and the 30th place film had the exact same amount of points at 269 (but with one more ranker and only a 23 point gap)

also Poke, I haven't gotten your write-ups in yet. About to post #30 so feel free to post your write-up for that one when you can!

Yeah, I'm writing up for the majority of the films. Once it places, I can post the write-up for it. And I'll probably send the rest tomorrow via email.

30. The Boondock Saints (1999)
Directed by: Troy Duffy
Score: 269

Inviso: 16
Poke: 19
Johnbobb: 27
jcgamer: 28
Seanchan: 29
Karo: 30
Lightning: 30
Seginus: 30
Mythiot: 30
Suprak: 30

Inviso:
The concept behind this movie is actually pretty cool. This movie COULD have gone onto the organized crime listexcept the crime in question is just random, vigilante violence that all started with a bar fight gone wrong. Some Russian thugs start some shit, they mess with the wrong guysa pair of brothers who wind up killing said thugs in self-defenseand doing this gives the brothers a belief that they are morally obligated to root out evil by killing other criminals in the city. So, they wage war against all of organized crime, just on a whim, and through a comical set of lucky circumstances, they wind up enlisting their mob buddy and an FBI profiler, and take down a whole crime family in the process.

Now, that storyline is interesting, but what holds the movie back just a LITTLE bit for me is the fact that the lead charactersthe two brothersarent the most dynamic characters to carry a film. They have their moments, and the religious angle works, but theyre very comparably stoic compared to Rocco (their mob buddy and third man who is kind of an over-the-top asshole to the detriment of the film), and Willem DeFoes FBI agent (who is the star of the goddamn movie with just how much fun hes having in the role). But yeah, its a movie that feels like its more exciting than it actually is. The flashbacks from DeFoes perspective, where hes recapping the brothers various massacres, are great. But the scenes with the brothers and Rocco are justtheyre okay, I guess. It makes for an okay movie, but there have been better films on this list, in my opinion.

Johnbobb:
Why I included it:
One of the most famous vigilante crime action thriller movies of all time that isn't just a comic book adaptation. It's hard to overstate the impact The Boondocks had on pop culture shortly after it premiered, becoming an instant cult classic once it released on DVD. You'd see influences from this film in vigilante action films for years to come, with the "noble" criminals hunting down mob bosses in incredibly hyper-violent ways. The Saints walked so John Wick could run.

What I thought:
I LOVED this movie when I was a teenager. I mean, basically everyone who was a teenage boy in the mid 2000s loved this movie. Now? Maybe it didn't age the best. The action is still great, but it really feels like a product of its time in a way that's not always great. Still a very fun time though, but 95% of that is because of Willem Dafoe going absolutely ham for the entire runtime. I still quote "IT WAS A FIREFIGHT" to this day.

Favorite 1/2 star Letterboxd review (there were a lot of good ones to choose from):
William DeFoes hair delivers an Oscar worthy performance. The rest of this movie was written by a Tapout tank top and a warm Mountain Dew

jcgamer:
This movie was kind of fun and cool when I first saw it in middle school, but rewatching it as an adult.kinda comes off like it was written by an edgy teenager who is way overconfident in their ability to write dialogue. Willem Dafoe saves it from last place (THERE WAS A FIRE FIIIIGHHT).
4/10

Seanchan:
This movie is just so full of itself and I didnt really like it. Willem Dafoes character is over the top to the point of parody.
Our 2 protagonists might well be the heroes of a certain taxi driver for the way they decided to not be passive and to use violence (mostly of the gun variety) to enact their vigilantism on the pimps and lowlives of the city. At the same time, theres no introspection into the story of these characters. Theyre just two cool dudes killing bad guys and everyone loves them because the cops are incompetent! Ugh
I probably would have liked this more if I had seen it around the time when it originally came out, as I would have been a teenager. In 2024, this is a quintessential style over substance movie and just comes across as a bunch of edgy nonsense.
Couple of other random thoughts: The CD player clipped to the belt. Hey, its porn star Ron Jeremy!

Karo:
These two dipshit brothers decide to take a crack at being violet vigilantes and are surprisingly successful despite how grossly incompetent they are because God is on their side or some dumb shit like that.
So here how things go down: some asshole FBI guy examines the scene of a gruesome murder, coming to ridiculous conclusions that are somehow right because of course they are, then we show a flashback to our two catholic cavemen precipitating the absurd and gratuitous demise of the mobsters (and several random people they heroically shot just because they were there). Now repeat these two points over and over until you've got a full movie.
While that already makes for one dull story, the fact that all the characters are obnoxious neanderthals with no concept of inside voices whose entire vocabulary is 'fuck you, you fucking fuck fuck' pushes things beyond the threshold of any reasonable tolerance.
After an hour and a half of mindless violence and a lot of screaming, our 'heroes' somehow manage to break into the county courthouse while a trial is in session and just straight up execute the defendant because there is apparently no security whatsoever despite how high profile the case is.
It's just am unremarkable and headache-inducing self-righteous murder fantasy steeped in utter unbelievability and psychotic religiosity directed by a talentless Quentin Tarantino wannabe and it should be sent straight to hell where it belongs.

Lightning:
THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!

The pattern of the reception of this movie is truly bizarre. Slammed when it first released, became a cult classic on home video, and now pretty derided once again. There was a backlash, a backlash to the backlash, and a backlash to the backlash to the backlash. I had never watched the film at all before this and while I wasnt looking forward to it I was trying to keep an open mind.

Frankly this film is just utterly amateurish dreck and even accounting for the era and target demographic its odd that this was ever popular. There are action movies that say something serious and philosophical and are great. There are action movies that are just dumb over-the-top nonsense and are great. There are action movies that blend the two that are great. This film achieves absolutely none of those. Its attempts at posing a moral question, making a philosophical statement, or even having drama are just beyond juvenile. Yet despite that it fails as dumb fun also. The action scenes are not particularly exciting and the vast majority of the jokes fall flat and rely heavily on homophobia and racism. The script also thinks that swearing is a substitute for wit.

Even setting aside its complete lack of any substance, the film is just poorly made. The editing is terrible, with constant irritating fades to black. The cinematography is extremely poorly framed and too dimly lit. There is no dynamism or interesting choreography to the action at all and the soundtrack is a garish mix. The performances are also generally pretty poor with some terrible attempts at Irish accents. For a film that is blatantly hibernopholic it winds up becoming very hibernophobic. But I guess this is a film without much on its mind or any love in its heart.

There is a saving grace to this film however: Willem Dafoe. Despite his character being a pretty poor, homophobic portrayal of a gay man his performance is great. He seemed to be the only one who understood the assignment. His delivery of the quoted line was hysterical and I laughed so much I had a coughing fit. There is to be fair one actually pretty good joke (is it dead?) also. I did have some fun with this film as a result of these silly elements that kept it entertaining even while it was being actively terrible. I went back and forth between a 1/5 and a 2/5 for that reason. However this is frankly a truly bad film and it gets the lowest score from me. If you like this film I am not going to trash your opinion. All it is is that there are far better examples of what this film tries to achieve.

1/5

Seginus:
Okay in my 20s I had the type of roommates that had the Boondock Saints poster on their wall, so Ive seen this before, but boy did I forget how awful it is. This is just mean-spirited violence fetishization that comes off like an edgy fourteen year old made it. So desperate to be cool, you can tell it wants to be like Tarantino but its such a facile version of that style. Everything had me cringing in embarrassment - the bible verse executions, the nonstop screaming and cursing, the Ron Jeremy cameo. Even a game Willem Dafoe cant save his character from being awful: the opera detective, he can visualize a crime scene perfectly as long as hes listening to Nessun Dorma, get the fuck outta here. But I think what bothers me most is that the movie wants me to think these reprehensible, amoral people are essentially good because they participate in religious pageantry. I hate the hollow, cynical version of Christianity this perpetuates, the lip service devoid of actual spirituality.

Dumbest bit of the movie: the Russian mafia unlocks an elite boss prisoner to go kill the saints, and his elite boss strategy is to shoot at their house from the middle of the street in broad daylight. But they get away, and when he finds them again he just happens to catch them a prayin so he decides he should actually be on their side, and they agree because he finishes their prayer for them. Jesus wept. Fuck this movie.

Bonus: Racist coca-cola product placement. Double drink!

Leaderboard:
Inviso: 14
Poke: 11
Johnbobb: 3
jcgamer: 2
Seanchan: 1
Karo: 0
Lightning: 0
Seginus: 0
Mythiot: 0
Suprak: 0

Inviso and Poke off to a strong early lead as the only people to have scored the bottom film over a 27, with a 5-way tie for last place. But we're still early, and who knows what comes next! Well, I know, but still!

Hint for #29: We see our first top 10er drop already!

Oh boy, this is gonna be one of those lists, isn't it? >_>

Interesting, I never would have guessed Boondocks Saints. I remember liking it, but like some of you pointed out I saw it once when I much younger (and drunker) and I bet if I watched it again now I'd have a much lower opinion of it

fortybelowsummer posted...

Interesting, I never would have guessed Boondocks Saints. I remember liking it, but like some of you pointed out I saw it once when I much younger (and drunker) and I bet if I watched it again now I'd have a much lower opinion of it

That was my experience

I went back into it thinking it was gonna be a ton of fun, especially since I'm much more familiar with Dafoe and Reedus than I was at the time

Then I watched it again and it just hit me as being a lot different than it felt as a teen

For some reason it reminded me most of Wanted. Not necessarily for content, but there is something about the tone that I found a lot of fun in high school but then I watched it 10+ years later and was like "uh oh was I dumb???"

Regardless this is the earliest I've ever said this and will ever say it again but...good winner guaranteed! I even thought my 29 was pretty decent.

Hey Wanted is still fun, in addition to being dumb

I think I saw Wanted in the theater for some reason. Probably mostly for TJF (The Jolie Factor)

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/18e97ddf.jpg

Anyway, whew, glad that ones out of the way. Its the only bad movie on the list, though there are a few middling ones to come. Honestly its kind of wild that this movie got the reputation it did on home video. Im actually willing to roll with its juvenile philosophy if it could actually give some stylish action in return, but its just so badly crafted. I didnt mention this in my writeup but you compare it with John Wick and its night and day. Having said all that, I still kind of enjoyed watching it in a so-bad-its-good sense.

So yeah, good stuff in the rest of the list. Was pretty cool on my number 29 but its not outright bad. Hoping for one of my top five in the top spot but really anything in my top 25 would do.

LightningStrikes posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/18e97ddf.jpg

Vis is that you

Is that young Evan Peters? Or the guy from Gen V?

Inviso posted...

Is that young Evan Peters? Or the guy from Gen V?

It is in fact young Evan Peters

That is the correct last place movie lol

Interesting that there's no real consensus on the top movies - 71 seems high for 1st place

(I was very confused why I couldn't see this topic in the topic list. Then I realized it's tagged as Forum Game, which I wasn't displaying...)

Yep, that was the obvious 30th place.

Now the next one is a movie in someone's top 10 but 29th overall.... Hmmm... I've a feeling my 30th place is going to be an aberration by 8-12 spots, so...I'm going to guess Burn After Reading.

29. You Were Never Really Here (2018)
Directed by: Lynne Ramsey
Score: 216

Johnbobb: 9
Karo: 11
Mythiot: 16
Seanchan: 18
Lightning: 23
Vis: 26
Seginus: 27
Poke: 27
Suprak: 29
jcgamer: 30

Johnbobb:
Why I included it:
A handful of reasons. For one, crime films are inherently pretty male dominated, and it's good to get some more woman directors in the genre. For two, it was my #1 movie of 2018, which was a pretty loaded year overall. But the third, and probably most important, I think this movie pairs really well on the list with Taxi Driver and Leon: The Professional. All three are movies about hyperviolent men in the dredges of society trying to protect a young girl by killing shitty people, but I think there's something about You Were Never Really Here that really makes it stand out by comparison. It also pairs really well with Oldboy, taking similar directions of close-quarters hand-to-hand brutality from emotionally devastated protagonists. It's violent, but never glamorizes or relishes in its violence, having most of the kills happen off screen or from obscured perspectives, focusing almost entirely on the mental condition of its antihero instead.

What I thought:
Like I said, it was my favorite movie of the 102 films I saw from 2018 (according to Letterboxd) and one of my favorites of the decade. Lynne Ramsey shook me to my core with We Need to Talk About Kevin, so I went into this with high expectations, but also a fear of what I'd be leaving with. Both instincts were right. I'd argue that this is a career-best performance from Joaquin Phoenix, and that's an exceptionally high bar.

Favorite 1/2 star Letterboxd review:
I just couldn't get past the Maxwell's Silver Hammer meets Taxi Driver underlying premise here. So this guy buys a new hammer every time he kills countless armed guards, etc.? Does he have a True Value Rewards card?

Karo:
So when a morally flexible veteran who specializes in tracking down missing kids takes on a job that pisses the wrong people off, the police and feds come and kill all his friends and family to get to him.
So yeah, this whole government is controlled by a secret pedo cabal QAnon narrative makes me very uncomfortable, and it is a thorn sticking in the side of what otherwise should have been a rather good movie.
The characterization is really what stands out, I get the feeling that this guy is a real person rather than just the stock 'crazy old solider' character.
Unfortunately the story borders on the nonsensical, apparently the Governor is sex trafficking the daughter of a Senator who then hires a hitman to bring her back? But plot twist the Senator is actually a part of the trafficking ring so he sent this brutal assassin after his own group for some reason! Did anyone even bother reading a plot synopsis out loud before starting to make this movie?
Nonetheless, is is a brilliant character study of a tormented war vet that brings a believable and sympathetic portrayal of mental illness, its just a shame it had to be saddled with such problematic elements.

Seanchan:
I thought this was interestingly shot and edited but the story wasnt great. At the same time, that might be the point, as its more about Joe than it is the specifics of the plot. The funny thing was that I was playing a game that had the line people in pain do painful things and it couldnt have been more apt for this movie. In the end, we find out that Nina is just like Joe, and the cycle will repeat.
Couple of other random thoughts: Using the security cam footage to show him getting the girl out of the house was pretty cool. That was unexpected (the cop at the door getting shot). OWWW (Joe pulling his tooth).

Lightning:
Its a beautiful day.

A relentlessly grim film where a traumatised Joaquin Phoenix brutally kills a child trafficking ring. This film is relentless and uncompromising yet also pretty sparing in what it actually shows. In many ways the suggestion of violence is often more disturbing than actually seeing it unfold. Lynn Ramseys direction here is excellent, and she really makes this film feel tough to watch in a positive sense. Joaquin Phoenixs performance is also great, one of his best ever.

There are some impressive set pieces here despite the budgetary constraints. Most impressively, the sequence where Joe rampages through the apartment with a hammer beating paedophiles to death in brutal fashion as seen from the point of view of security cameras. The film pulls every filmmaking trick out of the bag to get the point of its violence across without showing it too directly. It feels like there are big action scenes here even though there are not. You might say they were never really here in fact.

This is a film that seems like a crime action film but is much more of a subtle character study. It therefore can feel a little slight, but there is an unforgettable style to this film. The final scene too is something I havent gotten out of my head since I saw it. It really makes you ask if it is hopeful or despairing. I can see why some wouldnt like this film but I found it quite strong.

4/5

Vis:
If Im being honest here, with only one film left to watch on this listI feel like this movie is going to wind up the most forgettable overall. Its a very dull affair, despite the shorter runtime, and its not dialogue-heavy, so the characterization is largely limited to a bunch of blas people surrounding the all-but-silent Joaquin Phoenix, with the sole exception of his increasingly-senile mother. I think Joaquin Phoenix himself is part of the films biggest failing. Thats not to say he doesnt do a good job in the role, but the ROLE is not a great one. Not for my personal enjoyment of a film, at least. Obviously, Joaquins Joe is a traumatized individual from years of parental abuse from his father, witnessing the horrors of the Iraq War, and having seen the worst the sex trafficking business has to offer. But the end result is a cold, emotionless killing machine that lacks the charisma needed to make the protagonist role one thats enjoyable to watch. Instead, we get a lot of quick cuts to his various psychoses, and a bunch of people die that I just dont care about on a personal level. This movie really needed SOMEONE with more of a pulse to make me care, and neither Joe, nor the girl whose rescue is the focus of the plot, offers that kind of pulse.

Seginus:
Yeah, I was never really following the story. Lynne Ramsay gets all Jean-Luc Picard with the jump-cutting, Jonny Greenwood supplies some distracting weird music, and Joaquin Phoenix is of course the Baskin Robbins of nutcases, hes got 31 flavors. I am estranged and confused by this movie and not in a good way.

I do likes the nightvision sequence, the bit with Joaquin singing along with the guy he just shot, and especially the part where hes going through his mothers fridge and hes like hey what the hell this cheese is from 1973 and shes like nooo dont throw that out thats still good, thats me when I visit my grandmothers house now. I feel that. Also, that actress is totally mee-maw from The Heart, She Holler! Seeing her pop up was practically a jump-scare.

jcgamer:
This really felt like style over substance to me, and I wasnt even into the style much at all. I found the method of switching between Joaquins perceived reality and actual reality to be more annoying than cool or interesting. The overall story was OK but I didnt think this film was of the caliber of most the rest of the list.
3/10

Leaderboard:
Johnbobb: 23
Karo: 18
Inviso: 17
Poke: 13
Mythiot: 13
Seanchan: 12
Lightning: 6
jcgamer: 3
Seginus: 2
Suprak: 0

Vis loses his early lead, dropping to 3rd as I skyrocket ahead of him. A lot of shakeups throughout as the list already proves itself to be controversial to everyone except Suprak, who sits comfortably at a perfect score two movies in.

Hint for #28: There was initially a heist movie list that never came to be, parts of which were taken to make Crime 2. This is one of the movies from that list.

Ah I thought it might be as it can be a fairly divisive film. I liked it but not enough for a high ranking.

Guessing Good Time next.

Yeah I'm thinking Good Time also

Man you guys always rank amazing movies way too low haha

28. The Town (2010)
Directed by: Ben Affleck
Score: 211

Seanchan: 11
Poke: 11
Lightning: 15
Vis: 22
Johnbobb: 24
Karo: 24
jcgamer: 24
Mythiot: 24
Suprak: 27
Seginus: 29

Sean
This was just a really solid movie! Good performances, great heist scenes, and I loved that very claustrophobic car chase through those narrow Boston streets.

Lightning
Whose car we gonna take?

Frankly I never really rated Ben Affleck all that much as an actor through the 2000s. However, he really found a terrific voice as a director. In 2007 he directed a really effective thriller in Gone Baby Gone and he brings that same energy to this film. It does clearly owe a lot to heist and other crime films that came before it. In a sense, this is almost like a working class version of Heat. Despite that this still really works, and the setting does add a lot to the film.

The actual heist sequences (and resulting action scenes) are tremendously effective, keeping the tension high at all times. The pacing is great, it gets you in the action quickly, takes its time to build the characters then exploding into its exciting climax. What really makes this film work however is the characters, Ben Afflecks lead is suitably conflicted, Jon Hamm is a great foil and Rebecca Hall is a proper ray of light through this film. The actual standout however might be Jeremy Renner, who gives a great performance (remember when Jeremy Renner acted in things other than Marvel) as possibly the most interesting member of the gang.

Honestly, there isnt too much more to say about The Town. It doesnt reinvent the wheel or do much especially new to the genre. But it does everything well and manages to be pretty genuinely exciting while still keeping a touch of depth. This is not a revolutionary film but it is a really enjoyable crime thriller I would happily recommend to anyone.

4/5

Vis
I just found this one kind of dull, you know? Heres the thing: by this point on the list, Ive gone through multiple bank robberies and otherwise armed robberies, and this one just lacks charisma by comparison. The plot feels almost like the crime aspect is secondary to the life of this lower-class guy whos just really good at robberies, you know? Thats kind of the thing: the whole movie is told from the perspective that this one neighborhood in Boston produces a LOT of criminals, and Ben Affleck is a product of that environment. Hes not as MUCH a product of it as the rest of his gang, but hes a product nonetheless. And the movie is largely about Ben Affleck trying to reconcile his upbringing with a desire to get away from the criminal life that saw his father imprisoned, and his best friend imprisoned for manslaughter. All that good stuff.

The problem I have is that I just dont really care about Afflecks interpersonal drama, and his relationship with Claire is predicated on him trying to find out how much she knows as their former hostage, without her finding out his role in the bank robbery that kicks off the film. The chemistry is lacking, and the whole plot feelsoff, you know? Like, there are so many red flags that Claire should be avoiding, even if shes still recovering from PTSD over the robbery itself. Also, Blake Livelys relationship with Affleck is touched upon, and she winds up being his gangs undoing (including her brothers death), and she just comes across as trashy, you know? Its a weird dichotomy, because the heists themselves seem well-planned and well-executed, but the characters personal lives are fucking MESSES.

Finally, Ive gotta touch on Jon Hamm as the chief antagonist of the film (well, police antagonist, since the late Pete Postlethwaite winds up being the criminal antagonist, forcing everyone to stay committed to the life). Hes fine. Hes decent enough, but I guess hes just a little too normal to stand out as a character, and I GET that The Town is meant to have a grittier, more realistic feel to itbut sometimes you want a character in a movie with a memorable personality, you know? Someone who you can say That guy stole the show. Ben Affleck sure wasnt that kind of character, but apparently neither is Jon Hamm. The whole movie is just an exercise in being perfectly acceptable. No more, no less.

John
Why I included it:
Only the second movie Ben Affleck directed (after his lesser known but critically acclaimed Gone Baby Gone) and the followup to Renner's breakout role in The Hurt Locker (before The Avengers would go on to dominate his career), and one of the first appearances of Blake Lively in something that wasn't a romcom. It was also one of the most well-known heist films of its decade, moving away from the slick casino heists of the Oceans series and pushing the genre back toward true stories about small town gangs and gritty realism, which would signal a shift in the genre for the decade to come.

What I thought:
oh shit that's Jeremy Renner, he was in The Town

Favorite 1/2 star Letterboxd review:
I honestly like this movie but the Celtics are winning the finals and it unsettles my soul so deeply and makes me so spiritually mad that Im going to be a Boston hater on letterboxd

Karo
So apparently there's this neighborhood in Boston where all the bank robbers live, training their kids to follow in the family business. The police know all about it, but don't ever take any serious action against them because why would you ever want to prevent crime?
Anyway, one of the robbers falls in love with a bank teller he held hostage and things unfold pretty predictably after that. Yada yada she eventually finds out he's a crook, things get complicated, there's a lot of extremely incompetent police work that always allows the protagonist to get away, all that shit.
There's just nothing about it that makes it stand out in the crowd, it's just pretty forgettable.

jcgamer
Competently done, generic Boston heist movie. Didnt hate it but kinda forgettable.
5/10

Seginus
What Fargo did for Minnesota Nice this movie does for Boston Prick. Can an accent be punchable? Is it possible to be racist against just one city? Because I gotta be honest, when I hear Bostonians talk I start having problematic thoughts like you people deserve to be kept down and thats something I have to work on.

Seriously though, the real problem is that its another movie that wants me to root for awful people with practically no redeeming qualities and I just cant get with that. I appreciate that it tries to thread a romance in there so Affleck can bring out a sensitive side but it still doesnt get me to liking the character. I kinda get the sense that he wanted to do his own version of The Departed with this because Scorsese didnt take the package deal with him and Damon and he felt left out. Nice try, Ben.

Leaderboard:
Poke: 30
Seanchan: 29
Lightning: 29
Johnbobb: 27
Inviso: 23
Karo: 22
Mythiot: 17
jcgamer: 7
Seginus: 3
Suprak: 1

Vis continues to topple from the top as Poke emerges as the new leader, followed closely by Sean and Lightning scoring similarly big hits. On the other end of the spectrum, Suprak continues to barely budge, while Seginus rests just a touch higher.

Hint for #27: There are 7 Coen Bros. films on this list. Tomorrow, we see the first one drop!

As much as I enjoyed it, Burn After Reading will probably be the first to go.

I'm gonna guess Blood Simple.

I wonder how much the order we each watched affected our rankings. You Were Never Really Here was one I watched early on and was one of the <10 that wasn't a rewatch. Twenty+ movies later, it got a lot harder to keep perspective.

Disappointed in The Town bowing out so early.

First Coen Bros movie to drop...probably Burn After Reading, though I'd give Blood Simple and The Man Who Wasn't There an outside shot.

Wow Johnbobb you really didn't need my list for this one haha.

I'm surprised The Town dropped so early. I thought I would be the outlier on that one. It definitely wasn't a bad movie, but I think it got hurt a bit because I saw it right in the middle of the others and it doesn't stand out as much as some of the better ones.

Joe Mazzulla in shambles.

Suprak_the_Stud posted...

Wow Johnbobb you really didn't need my list for this one haha

Your ranking actually was enough to drop You Were Never Really Here a few spots!

Wow that one is a shock. I really enjoyed this and surprised to see most were cool on it.

Burn After Reading is next I think.

I will give this one credit for the bit where the cops are making suspects read lines and the guy goes "I'm trying to make this shit sound authenticious", that was gold

yeah everyone called it lol

27. Burn After Reading
Directed by: Joel & Ethan Coen
Score: 207

Inviso: 6
Poke: 13
Johnbobb: 17
Seginus: 20
Karo: 21
Seanchan: 23
jcgamer: 25
Mythiot: 26
Suprak: 28
Lightning: 28

Inviso
This is, surprisingly, only the third movie on this list thus far that Ive watched before this watchthrough, and the thing about that is that I wasnt SUPER high on Burn After Reading, going into it. But this time around, I think Im older and Im more able to appreciate the film for what it has to offerwhich is just the lunatic of a cascade of coincidences just fucking things up for person after person after person. I love how you start out in a relatively serious setting (except for John Malkovich being batshit insane in his own right), complete with government jobs and government talk and rich person dinner parties and all that good stuff. But thenyou introduce Frances McDormand and Brad Pitt as these fucking dipshit minimum wage gym workers, and they add a VERY different tone to the proceedings. Dont get me wrongthis is a movie FILLED with people who buy into their own hype and believe themselves to be far cleverer and more skilled than they are. But THOSE TWO are effectively like the audience at home assumes government and espionage work.

But yeah, youve got John Malkovich in a loveless marriage with Tilda Swinton, who is having an affair with George Clooney, who sleeps around all over Washington. And by pure chance, Tildas lawyers secretary goes to Frances McDormands gym with a CD containing a bunch of Malkovichs personal files, which makes Frances and Brad Pitt think they have secret intelligence that they can sell to afford Frances plastic surgery. Its so insane that it becomes hilarious, particularly when the situation starts escalating into Brad breaking into Malkovichs house and getting shot by Clooney, and EVERYONE thinks Pitt was killed due to spy shenanigans, when it was just goofy coincidence. And meanwhile, you have these two interstitial periods where JK Simmons shows up to look exasperated at how dumb and random all of the events of the film are. Its just funny to see it through the perspective of an ACTUAL government conspiracywhere its just random shit for no reason sometimes. Its great.

Johnbobb
Why I included it:
Coen #7 - Between the Coens' bizarre script, the star-studded cast of actors at the heights of their careers, and the unique brand of political thriller satire, I've never understood how Burn After Reading didn't get bigger than it ultimately did. It's ultimately become a cult-favorite, with Brad Pitt's dancing idiot gym-himbo being one of his most recognizable appearances and JK Simmons baffled, nihilistic closure to the film remaining a highlight.

What I thought:
"What did we learn, Palmer? I guess we learned not to do it again. I'm fucked if I know what we did."
Every time I watch this movie I like it more. It's intentionally befuddling; it wants you to walk away like JK Simmons did, loosely trying to piece together what the hell just happened and what it all means. It is a smart movie that is secretly stupid, but beneath that it's smart again. Probably. The message of the movie is essentially that you either fake it til you make it or you die. Fantastic.

Favorite 1/2 star Letterboxd review:
Incredibly challenging to make a movie that makes both brad pitt and george clooney both unbearable and unfuckable

HM:
https://imgur.com/GCBK3lx

Seginus
This is the only Coen bros. film I saw in its theatrical run, and I remember at the time being a little disappointed. After No Country I guess I wasnt expecting a lightweight comedy and as such a lot of the non-obvious humor went right by me at the time. Its more enjoyable on rewatch, especially knowing its another one of their shaggy dog stories and there is no real plot to tease out. Because yeah, what did we learn Palmer? I dont know. I dont fuckin know either. Maybe its about how all these people are delusionally self-important and think theyre connected to some bigger plot when really all of our lives are shaggy dog stories.

Still, I can only put this so high on the strength of ensemble charisma and good humor. Needed more John Malkovich really.

Karo
So the plot in this is kinda hard to follow but basically an ex CIA guy is writing a book but loses a copy of it and people mistake it for classified information. A lot of misunderstandings later a lot of people end up dead as everyone commits every crime from breaking and entering to high treason. Basically par for the course for the Coen Bros.
But man, do these characters begin to wear upon the nerves as the movie goes on. These people all deserve each other. Also, not having Linda face any consequences for her actions really rubs me the wrong way, she was the worst of the lot and not only does she get off scot-free, she gets her fucking plastic surgery paid for by the CIA. Where is the Coen justice done to scuffed criminals that I am used to?

Seanchan
This might be the most that was a movie movie on this list. Which is to say that its fine but not much more than that. Really, its J.K. Simmons' two genuinely hilarious cameos that save this movie for me, with the closer just summing the whole thing up ever so metatextually.
Malkovich feels like hes in a completely different movie than everyone else, whichkind of makes a bit of sense the way things unfold. Pitt played the dumb himbo well, though he was really looking like Benico del Toro with that hair.
Couple of random thoughts: Okay, the dildo machine reveal was pretty great! Just knowing the DC area a bit, the run Clooneys character seems to make was nonsensical (starting on Memorial Bridge, then to Jefferson Memorial, then over the Key Bridge back into Georgetown). Shit.

jcgamer
I think this is probably the Coens worst movie, which is a shame because its got a great cast. One part that did really resonate with me was John Malkovichs speech about a league of morons, I still use that term once in a while. Maybe funnier than the average Coen Brother movie but the characters and story are sub-par and at times even obnoxious.
5/10

Lightning
"What did we learn?"
"I don't know, sir."
"I don't fuckin' know either. I guess we learned not to do it again."

Maybe its just the preponderance of Coen brothers films on this list but this one didnt do it for me as much. Compared to their other outright comedies this just isnt as funny, though it has a few good chuckles in it. Also, the characters dont stand out as much. Brad Pitt is the highlight but he dies just over halfway in. Tilda Swintons character is flat but she gives it some life. Everybody else gives it a good effort and Frances McDormand is always great with the Coens though I didnt feel there were too many standouts.

This is also a film where, unlike No Country for Old Men, the climax happening entirely offscreen does it a disservice. Most of the characters just leave and then you find out what happened to them offscreen. While the deliberate anticlimax is funny and the last scene is great, I felt like I wanted more. Yet despite that even at a breezy 95 minutes this film still feels like it could be shorter with some scenes that go nowhere.

Having said all that, this is still a fun time. Some of the jokes are quite good, and it goes by quickly enough to be worth a watch. I had a good time with this film overall. It just all feels a little slight and not as funny as you would expect.

3/5

Leaderboard:
Poke: 44
Inviso: 44
Johnbobb: 37
Seanchan: 33
Lightning: 30
Karo: 28
Mythiot: 18
Seginus: 10
jcgamer: 9
Suprak: 2

And Vis is back in the game! After landing another big hit, he leaps back up to a tied first place, neck and neck with Poke who held his own in the round alongside him. Meanwhile, Suprak continues to refuse to give an inch. The gap between the top 6ish and the bottom 3 is steadily growing.

Hint for #26: After breaking normal list conventions by drop mostly newer movies first (plus The Boondock Saints, which is 25 years old now?????) we finally drop our first pre-90s movie.

Well, there's 10 candidates for pre-90s movies left. I feel like M is the most obvious one to drop next of those but you never know.

M - 1931
Dial M for Murder - 1954
Bonnie and Clyde - 1967
A Clockwork Orange - 1971
The French Connection - 1971
Serpico - 1973
Dog Day Afternoon - 1975
Taxi Driver - 1976
Blood Simple - 1984
Raising Arizona - 1987