Board 8 > Anagram Rates the Pokemon Anime 11: Damn you GenesisSaga Edition (spoilers)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Legendaries in the anime are treated as very rare pokemon with stories attached to them.

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Congrats to SuperNiceDog for winning the guru contest.

This write-up is a special present to Genny.

HOLD THE PHIONE!
"How about a Phione cellphone strap for good luck?!"
Score: 3.5/10

That line. That line is probably the most accurate thing in the show to real life, if pokemon actually existed. Can you imagine how much crap would have their faces on it? Think of how much stuff has pokemon on it and they aren’t even actually real.

The heroes have reached Chocovine Town. There's a merchant who sells Phione merchandise because he apparently really likes the worst legendary in the series, and they learn that once a year, Phione swim around the ocean near this city (and guess what, the heroes just happen to be in town during this part of the year). The merchant then also tells the heroes that the Chocovine Contest winners are all, without exception, people who'd spotted a Phione, so everyone decides to go Phione watching.

Dawn announces that she'll be using Buneary and Pachirisu in the next contest, and Piplup is disappointed. Don’t worry, Piplup. You’ll always have the fact that you’re the pokemon with the third/fourth most screen time in the series, after Pikachu and Meowth (and possibly Togepi, I’m not sure).

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At night, the heroes board a submarine to watch the Phione run by a disguised Team Rocket. Bizarrely enough, this time it's actually explained how they rented a submarine (they used the money people paid for tickets), but it's left unsaid how James learned how to drive it. I mean… I’ll freely admit that I know nothing about submarine operation, but I would think they’re really complicated, right?

Well, the submarine quickly finds several Phione, who swim by it and greet the passengers. People are excited, and a man and woman lock fingers, saying that they'll be "so happy together, forever!" ... Because there's no better way for the cosmic forces of the universe to communicate whom you should love than having a Phione swim near your submarine. This is just common ****ing sense. Before like the early 1900s, people were just confused as hell regarding marriage and wished they had a way to learn whom the Phione were swimming near.

One of the Phione develops a crush on Buneary and swims outside of its window, and when the submarine docks again, it chooses to stay near the town to say hi to Buneary. Unfortunately, Team Rocket captures it in... a net. A completely ordinary net. Then they stuff it into… a pot. Like, a cooking pot. And it is completely helpless.

In the morning, Ash wants to train with his pokemon, but Dawn asks him to accompany her to the town so she can buy novelty pokeball stickers. Wow. What? Wow. I. What?

Team Rocket loses control of the Phione they captured, and it escapes into a river where it sees Dawn and Buneary. Unfortunately, the heroes enter a bus and don't notice it.

Later, the heroes do some training when Phione shows up and says hi to Buneary (so that scene where they don’t notice Phione was completely pointless). It realizes that Buneary already has a crush on Pikachu, so it challenges Pikachu to a battle for Buneary's love. Instead, Buneary says that it will battle Phione itself, and that if Phione wins, they'll go on a date. Man, can you imagine if humans handled dates like that? There’d be ****ing no married female bodybuilders, I’m just saying.

Want to know something cool? In most of Shakespeare's works that involve fight scenes, the actual event is written as something to the effect of "They fight, [character] wins," because Shakespeare was an adept enough writer to understand that the exact workings of the fight don't really matter to the plot or characterization, it was really just the result and the dialogue that mattered.

This fight scene isn't like that at all.

After its loss, Phione leaves and Team Rocket tries to capture it again, so Pikachuusethunderboltbunearyuseicebeamblastingoffaaaaagain.

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I feel sorry for the group of trainers traveling 1 month behind Ash and co. They must have the most boring trip ever, just missing everything that happens.

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From: Anagram | #302
Don’t worry, Piplup. You’ll always have the fact that you’re the pokemon with the third/fourth most screen time in the series, after Pikachu and Meowth (and possibly Togepi, I’m not sure).

It's also possible Axew could overtake it depending on how long Iris sticks around.

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First is mnk'boy'907, who looks fab with her gray skin and grandma poncho/shawl thing~
http://img.imgcake.com/nio/boypngbu.png - Nio

Remind me how they pronounce Phione please.

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Hey, its that SuperNiceDog! Congrats to the Guru 2011 winner

Probably something terrible like fie-wun (fie as in pie).

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"First time I got punched in the face, I was like "oh no", then I was like "this is a story"."

BK_Sheikah00 posted...
Remind me how they pronounce Phione please.

Fee-own-ay

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Stupid -ay.

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Bump-ay.

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Anagram posted...
This write-up is a special present to Genny.

Aw, you shouldn't have...

Wait... You really shouldn't have, that episode sucked! And you mean to tell me it's Fee-own-ay instead of just Fee-Own?

Ixnay on the upidstay.

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You're such a kid! By fr0q. - http://img.imgcake.com/genirisjpgde.jpg
Me. By me - http://i974.photobucket.com/albums/ae221/GenesisSaga/JustForFun.jpg

GenesisSaga posted...
Anagram posted...
This write-up is a special present to Genny.

Aw, you shouldn't have...

Wait... You really shouldn't have, that episode sucked! And you mean to tell me it's Fee-own-ay instead of just Fee-Own?

Ixnay on the upidstay.

I love when Nintendo gives things terrible official pronounciations.

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That's how I've always pronounced Phione.

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ph33r teh masta~!

Actually, fee-own-ay does make sense now that I think about it. Most legendaries keep their Japanese names (Fione, in this case), and that's how it would be pronounced in Japanese.

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First is mnk'boy'907, who looks fab with her gray skin and grandma poncho/shawl thing~
http://img.imgcake.com/nio/boypngbu.png - Nio

to this day I hate having to say swee-coon

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The main thing I remember from the episode is the Phione saying "feeny!"
I admit that my perspective may have been affected by the third Phoenix Wright game.

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From: htaeD | #315
to this day I hate having to say swee-coon

Oh hey, that's how I've always pronounced it.

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"First time I got punched in the face, I was like "oh no", then I was like "this is a story"."

From: mnkboy907 | #317
Oh hey, that's how I've always pronounced it.

me too yippee

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You guys are bad.

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Not as bad as you for not updating in three days.

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Update tonight maybe

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lol, Ash's new rival sucks.

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he used to be i guy who fights guys when the government payed kids to fight guys but he doesnt anymore. - EMOSEWASISHR on his bestie

ANOTHER ONE GABITES THE DUST!
"Sorry we soiled your Gabite."
Score: 4/10

Well, folks. I think that's about it. You're not going to get better than an apology for defecating on a pokemon.

At a pokemon center, Dawn is feeding her pokemon when Pachirisu's poffin is dropped and a Gabite steals it. Pachirisu tries to attack with super fang, but since this is a Gabite, its attack does freaking nothing. Gabite's owner, a stereotypically *****y girl named Ursula, shows up and offers one of her own poffins as an apology, but Pachirisu doesn't want it. Ursula recognizes Dawn as the Wallace Cup winner and tells her her victory was an accident, and thus this rivalry is on. Feel the tension in the air!

At the contest, OH GOD MR CONTESTA WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR VOICE Dawn, Jessie, and Ursula all do well. The eight round 2 coordinators will be Dawn, Jessie, and Ursula, and Dude, Dude, Dude, Dude, and Dude. A time-filling montage of the named characters fighting the unnamed characters ends with Ursula defeating Jessie by running out the clock. Man, if you need to run out the clock against Jessie, I don't know what to tell you.

Oh wow, the final is Dawn versus Ursula. I didn't see that one coming. Pachirisu versus Gabite... Uh, isn't this like bringing a nuclear submarine to a knife fight? Well, fortunately, Pachirisu's super fang allows it to-- oh it immediately gets smacked about because it's a freaking Pachirisu. When Dawn realizes Pachirisu can't really hurt Gabite, she just has it counter its attacks with its own moves to look impressive and runs out the clock. How heroic. Dawn wins. Ursula leaves, Dawn gets a ribbon, the heroes leave to go to the Snowpoint Gym, and I get even more cynical about this show’s ability to be interesting.

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zomg

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"With Harry, it's cool. We don't speak a lot and he doesn't care if I smile or if I know who the next team we play is." - Benoit Assou-Ekotto

wtf is that ranking

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ph33r teh masta~!

Don't worry, Ursula gets waaaaaaaaayyy better.

She's actually like, high-tier among all the rivals in the anime.

Harley>Paul>Zoey>Ursula>>>Burgundy>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gary>May's Rival dude>>>>>Bianca>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Tyson


EDIT: I bet you're wondering why I forgot Trip...

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he used to be i guy who fights guys when the government payed kids to fight guys but he doesnt anymore. - EMOSEWASISHR on his bestie

How heroic.

Contests were never about heroics ya know

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htaeD posted...
How heroic.

Contests were never about heroics ya know

I know. Nothing in this show is.

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Out of curiosity, do you guys like Winter more after her joining Rael?

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I think it's pretty cool how Anna only watches one episode every 45 years now.

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he used to be i guy who fights guys when the government payed kids to fight guys but he doesnt anymore. - EMOSEWASISHR on his bestie

BNVshark123 posted...
I think it's pretty cool how Anna only watches one episode every 45 years now.

Sorry I have schoolwork bro!

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I think it's pretty cool how Anna has to resort to using the same excuse over and over. Can't come up with something more original?

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mnkboy907 posted...
I think it's pretty cool how Anna has to resort to using the same excuse over and over. Can't come up with something more original?

Yesterday I had planned to do some schoolwork instead of Pokemon reviews, but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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STEALING THE CONVERSATION!
"You've already used all three of your balls! You don't have any balls left!"
Score: 8.5/10

Oh my God, the censors for this show just don't exist at all, do they?

Team Rocket steals Pikachu fifty-seven seconds into the episode. Well, I'll give the writers credit, at least they aren't wasting my time here. Piplup frees Pikachu, and Pikachu blasts Team Rocket off in less than three minutes. Unfortunately, it's knocked out of Team Rocket's balloon, and plummets to the ground. For this episode falling damage applies, and Pikachu is in serious danger!

Fortunately, Officer Jenny appears and catches it, cursing that Team Rocket escaped "again." She and her Chatot ask if Ash is "Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town," and Ash confirms it. She arrests him. He asks why, and she explains that she mispoke; she needs his assistance, so she'll be tkaing him into custody.
"FYI, I'm not a normal Officer Jenny. I'm a wild Jenny."
Jenny explains that she's from Kanto, and was informed that Team Rocket set up shop here as well. She wants Ash's help because Team Rocket is so attracted to him. She just wants the heroes to stand perfectly still in a park while she waits for Team Rocket to show up. As the heroes take their position, two cops, one of them the chief of police, appear and ask why the heroes are standing around, recognizing Ash instantly (by the way, we’re never told why these cops all recognize Ash). Jenny pretends not to recognize the heroes, but the chief instantly realizes Jenny is using innocent civilians as bait to attract criminals "again." Jesus ****ing Christ, this is the kind of thing that should happen no more than once, how is she still a cop if she's pulled this **** before?! Jesus ****ing Christ, this is like the most irresponsible thing ever. Her Chatot spoils the plan, and he tells her that if she makes another mistake, she's going to have to write "I'm sorry" one thousand times. Imagine if real police worked like this. The entire cowboy cop archetype wouldn't exist because the worst thing you could have happen to you as a cop is getting a hand cramp.

Well, Jenny invites the heroes to lunch, and only Dawn thinks that this woman is obviously out of her goddamn mind (don’t worry, this will go nowhere). As they eat, across the street, bank robbers escape from... well, a bank. Jenny, however, foils their getaway by knocking them down with expertly thrown bowling balls (seriously), then having Chatot use feather dance to wrap them up. Well, it's not a gun, but it's better than the other Jennies who just ask criminals to give themselves up.


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We then get a brief scene where a criminal thinks she's run out of bowling balls, but she Dirty Harrys him into giving up because she might have one left. She doesn’t, and everyone thinks this is awesome.

Team Rocket attacks again and accidentally captures Chatot before escaping, thinking they have Pikachu. Jenny declares that she'll chase them down, only to trip on a pebble. Well, that's what you get when the uniform for your physically-intensive job is a miniskirt and high heels. Ash sends out Staravia to search for Team Rocket, and Jenny gives her backstory: One time, a criminal almost escaped, but then a Chatot helped her out, so she adopted it. The end.

Staravia finds Team Rocket and leads the heroes to their cabin in the woods. Jenny prepares to enter, and tells the heroes that since the mafia is known for being dangerous, they should stay outside. The heroes beg to help, so she agrees to let the small children assist her in assaulting what is to her knowledge a criminal fortress.

They attack, but Team Rocket counters with a giant robot shaped like a bowling pin that shoots missiles. When Dawn is nearly killed, Jenny curses Team Rocket for stealing Chatot. Predictably, the bowling pin robot is knocked down by three bowling balls, and Chatot escapes, back to Jenny. Jenny tells Team Rocket that her next ball will blast them off (doesn’t even give them a chance to surrender), and they claim she already threw all three of her balls. She does the Dirty Harry thing again, but Team Rocket sees through it and attacks again. She throws Chatot at them, however, and has it use steel wing, and their robot explodes. Only after they blast off does Jenny remember that she was supposed to arrest them. Ah well.

Believe it or not, this episode is actually very good. Officer Jenny is extremely memorable because, while she’s as incompetent as the other Officer Jennies, she can at least still do things on her own, and “Dirty Harry with bowling balls” is a cool gimmick. This is what filler should be like.

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I never thought anything involving Chatot would be good

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I had forgotten Chatot existed.

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ph33r teh masta~!

Looks like I was right about that Emboar.

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"First time I got punched in the face, I was like "oh no", then I was like "this is a story"."

htaeD posted...
I never thought anything involving Chatot would be good

Aw, Chatot's not a bad pokemon (in design).

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I suppose
just dont use one

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THE DRIFTING SNORUNT!
"Searching for a Snorunt in snow is hard!"
Score: 4/10

Team Rocket is hiking through a blizzard when they see a Froslass. Aw yeaaaaaa much cooler than Glalie. It tells them to follow it. Cut to the heroes.

They’re lost, so Froslass appears to them and waves its hand. The blizzard disappears and a cabin appears behind it, and no one thinks this is suspicious at all.

In the cabin, Froslass makes them some soup (?!), takes them to a fireplace, and draws a bath for the pokemon. Unfortunately, the cabin disappears; the heroes are just in an ice cave, and they're eating shaved ice. Brock is the only one who realizes this is Froslass' fault because it’s not like Ash has extensive experience with ghost pokemon and illusions. Froslass freezes Piplup in place and tells Chimchar not to free it, and then shows them Meowth (also frozen). Meowth explains that Froslass can't find its friend Snorunt, and it's forcing humans to look for it by freezing their pokemon in place and threatening them. The heroes instantly agree instead of just recalling Piplup to its pokeball and then agreeing. The heroes are completely forgiving of its threatening Piplup even after it says they still can't have it, so the heroes just tell Piplup to wait for them to get back. There is a zero percent chance Ash would have gone along with that if it had been Pikachu in that position.

The heroes and Team Rocket meet up and agree to search for Snorunt together, and they… succeed. Well that was easy. As it agrees to come with them, a Glalie appears and attacks. Glalie knocks Snorunt out and escapes with it, so the heroes pursue. Who's the first person to think to do something other than run? Freaking James is who stops it, using bullet seed.

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A dude appears on a snowmobile, and after he announces that he owns Glalie, the heroes say that it tried to take Snorunt. He tells that he wants Snorunt to sell on the pokemon black market, and even brings out a piece of paper listing the illegal selling price of a Snorunt. Wow.

Just

Wow

The heroes and Team Rocket attack, but Glalie is able to spam hyper beam without recharging and defeats four pokemon at once. Come on. I know it's not very fun if the villains are helpless, but this is ridiculous. I mean, yes, okay, eventually Chimchar manages to get the upper hand by itself, but even then Glalie recovers and is about to win when Froslass appears and aids Chimchar just enough for it succeed. By the way, no, we never learn why Froslass left the cave and came after the heroes and Team Rocket, nor do we learn why a guy who wants to sell Snorunt evolved his own Snorunt into a Glalie.

They lock the poacher up and call Officer Jenny, and Froslass apologizes for threatening Piplup and Meowth and lets them go. As the episode ends, Team Rocket tries to attack, but slip on some melted snow and tumble off of a cliff so that the heroes don't even realize they were attacked.

This couldn’t be more filler if it tried.

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anagram you a gulpin yo

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ph33r teh masta~!

Yay Froslass.

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Froslass is awesome yeah
good thing it gets a better showing in the future

also

The heroes are completely forgiving of its threatening Piplup even after it says they still can't have it, so the heroes just tell Piplup to wait for them to get back.

Its Piplup
part of me thinks they WANT it to die

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That battle with Skyla was pretty awesome.

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Hey, its that SuperNiceDog! Congrats to the Guru 2011 winner

Indeed, the animators knew where to focus

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Didn't expect her to be so tan though.

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Hey, its that SuperNiceDog! Congrats to the Guru 2011 winner

lol air battles

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lol Skyla's gloves

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