Board 8 > ~*~Zen Anal-yzes the Summer 2013 Contest - 5 Years *2* Late Edition~*~

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Archive: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/184626-traffic-jam/76917465
Original Topic: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/76880099

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If you are just joining us, this is a part-analysis, part-retrospective, part-rambling mess of a post mortem covering the entirety of the Summer 2013 Character Battle IX. Featuring such wonderful (semi-unwanted) guest stars such as KamikazePotato, UltimaterializerX and LeonhartFour!

This is very much intended to be a topic devoted to stimulating the community into discussion, a lot of what we talk about here is very circlejerk-y but that is by design. The goal is to get people talking about contests and "in the mood" for CBX, as well as refreshing our memories on what the status quo was and speculate on what has changed in the five years since CBIX.

Your commentary is always welcome! As noted in the last topic, I have no idea what I'm talking about, and especially with later rounds my memory is very foggy. I welcome corrections and any factual input. Call me out if you see something wrong! This is supposed to be a fun series where we collectively reminisce as well as forget there was ever a "Best Year In Gaming" contest!

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(1)Sonic the Hedgehog vs (11)Mewtwo vs (7)Bowser




Spilling out of Link vs Draven was a match that had been fairly highly contested until this point. Nobody predicted there would be this much spillage from a rally. Yeah, the rallies had affected votals a little bit, but not to this extent. I don't know if any of us had predicted the Draven rally to be so much bigger in Round 3.

I remember visiting one of the Draven rally threads on Reddit after the match was over, and while most comments were discussing how buttdecimated we all were, there were a few here and there saying "dang, I missed it, oh well, voted for Mewtwo"

I don't know how much crossover there is between LoL and Pokemon but I'm assuming if you're hardcore enough to go to LoL communities you're probably enough of a huge nerd to absolutely love Pokemon. (ok that's a stretch but follow me here)

This is slightly unrelated, but I read some statistics a few months back (that I can't find now, of course) and a lot of the people playing Fortnite have never played another online game before, and there's a chunk where they consider it their first "real game." LoL was huge at the time, I wouldn't be surprised if there were people voting who had never played a Sonic or Mario game but loved the Pokemon anime, but that's just personal conjecture.

Originally people were arguing that Bowser would be strong enough to hold Mewtwo back for Sonic to take a win. After all, Ganondorf held back Mario enough for Vivi to win, so Sonic shouldn't have a problem here, right? Well, there's also the weird Nintendo SFF that includes Sonic on some level, but he's still SONIC, Noble Nine member and contest vet. Mewtwo didn't even double Phoenix Wright.

Unfortunately for us it was 2013 and Mewtwo absolutely embarrassed Sonic thanks to rally spillover. You can champion the righteous cause of "rallies" all you want, but the definite downside is the negative effects it has on other matches. Reddit and tumblr links often stay circulating for days, and, yes, the GameFAQs site views go up, but our morale go down.

Without the rally here, would Sonic have taken this in the year of Pokefear? Probably. Phoenix Wright was either really impressive in 2013 or Mewtwo was on rally roids in R3. Probably more the ladder than anything.

These results did get us hyped up that Mewtwo would be the anti-Draven, though. Pokefear had become our ally, like Magus or that food critic from Ratatouille.
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Tag
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Tag
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ZenOfThunder posted...

Phoenix Wright was either really impressive in 2013 or Mewtwo was on rally roids in R3. Probably more the ladder than anything.

Actually, Zen, it's a stepladder.
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PS if you enjoy the free content of this topic and feel generous donate to my Patreon:



aka nominate Metal Sonic: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/76868408
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(1)Sephiroth vs (5)Big Boss vs (4)Kirby




It's weird to say that "Sephiroth pulled an upset here" and even weirder when you expand upon that and say "Sephiroth pulled an upset against Kirby here." Only in 2013!

Votals were still pretty high, and for the most part they'd stay around there for a while. There were some wishful thinkers claiming that people brought to the site via rally were genuinely interested in the contest and wanted to see it through

I am here to say that is wrong because, again, most people who aren't us just think "GAMEFAQS DUM CLOUD ALWAYS WIN!!!!"

I guess those weren't the people who showed up for this match though because Sephiroth ended up winning a decently close match against Kirby, despite the supposed "PlayStation LFF" Big Boss was supposed to subject him to. Is there any actual evidence of that? I feel like that's a Nintendo thing. Let's look at the PSASBAR roster:



I guess we'll have to wait for a match with both Emmett Graves and Fat Princess in it before we know for sure, they are definitely deserving of the title of PlayStation All-Star. Can't wait to see how hard Evil Cole LFFs Cole too.

It kind of sucked (lol) to see Kirby give this one up to Sephiroth, he had the lead for a while here iirc. I remember waking up and seeing that Sephiroth had come back and wondering why it took the whole fucking contest for the FF fanbase to actually show up.

I'm wondering how Big Boss is going to look in 2018 given that he's not even in MGSV for more than a few minutes. Is everyone aware of that twist now? I think I mentioned it in a previous post, whoops. Hope I didn't ruin the late Hideo Kojima's masterpiece. Wait, is Kojima dead, or just his career?

Does Big Boss receive a boost from Snake being in Ultimate? Does Big Boss receive equal boosts to Snake whenever he gets one?
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I dont even remember what game Emmett Graves is from.
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swirIdude posted...

ZenOfThunder posted...

Phoenix Wright was either really impressive in 2013 or Mewtwo was on rally roids in R3. Probably more the ladder than anything.

Actually, Zen, it's a stepladder.

Zen walked right into that one.
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(1)Solid Snake vs (2)GLaDOS vs (7)Kefka




Hot on the heels of "Match That Makes No Fucking Sense" comes "Escape From Beneath the Planet of the Match That Makes No Fucking Sense," which is commonly accepted as the "Dark Knight" to the original's "Batman Begins."

It was good to finally see Kefka get some laughing sprite pics, but because the rally juices were still flowing steadily nobody even got to see them as everyone just voted from the results page.

As a result of the rallies, GLaDOS probably got a huge boost from people who just play PC games. Although shouldn't Kefka have gotten some kind of boost if Sephiroth did? Again, 2013. I still don't get how the fuck this happened.

I incorrectly stated early on that GLaDOS had beaten Kefka handily, but that was my faulty memory and my (admittedly justifiable) impression that Kefka ain't shit. It's so ingrained in me that Kefka is a disappointment that I had a picture painted in my mind that this match wasn't close.

But it was! Probably one of the most entertaining matches of this contest. Once again Kefka gives us an incredibly unpredictable, super fun match. Even if it's 100 years from now and we're knee-deep in Character Battle XV (at this rate we'd be lucky to hit XV) with a field oversaturated with Generation 62 Pokemon, I still want Kefka to get a spot in the bracket because he will always find a way to impress or massively disappoint. Both is good.

At this point everyone had thrown out their brackets so we were just happy to get another good upset in there, although there was a dude so buttdevestated that Kefka lost that they account suicided. I'm not surprised, people get pretty emotional over this big head of lettuce.
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ZenOfThunder posted...

Is that classic PlayStation SFF real after all?

If it is, Kefka wouldn't be affected. He's most associated with the SNES.
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Man, I don't remember those Sonic/Mewtwo/Bowser pics at all

Definitely remember BOX/HATE/CAKE though
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Shit, sorry, I always forget FF6 was on SNES, I got the crappy PS1 port when I was a kid and associate it with that. Didn't get the SNES cart til years later.

I am probably the only one on the planet who would make that mistake.
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LordoftheMorons posted...

Man, I don't remember those Sonic/Mewtwo/Bowser pics at all

Definitely remember BOX/HATE/CAKE though

Thanks! That was mine. I had become so bored with making match pics after so many years of doing literally hundreds that I started just doing random photoshop tutorials and trying to incorporate them into match pics just to give myself something new to do.

See: My weird Andy Warhol pic for Draven / Snake / Samus
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(1)Cloud Strife vs (5)Squirtle vs (4)Leon Kennedy




Here's the next entry in the "Fuck It I Give Up" Sextology, this time involving a funny blue cartoon turtle beating former contest champion Cloud Strife because reasons

Reason 1) 4chan did not like Cloud and wanted Squirtle to win. Ulti mentions in his writeup that Squirtle didn't need a rally but I really don't think that's the case. You can see the votal increase on this match and 4chan had mentioned in a lot of their previous rallies that they were going to support Pokemon in the matches, and although there was less support it was still there. Again, we also still had a little spillover from the Draven rally posts, which probably benefit the Pokemon more than anyone else.

Reason 2) Ain't nobody give no shits about FF anymore unless it is specifically Sephiroth when he is against Kirby or Gilgamesh I guess

Reason 3) That weird PlayStation All-Star SFF hurt Cloud a bit, Leon is the man

Reason 4) Fuck It I Give Up

We all collectively saw this coming by this point but it hurt to watch it unfold all the same. Ulti mentions in his writeup that the vote trends are very similar to the original Mario / Cloud match from 2002, where Squirtle got a good size lead and even though Cloud made cuts he couldn't gain any momentum and eventually got beaten by this thing



Don't get me wrong, I chose Squirtle as my first ever starter like any sane person would, but I can't believe it's strong enough to beat legendary character Cloud Strife under any circumstances. Maybe I'm just old fashioned. Bring back asbestos, it didn't do anything wrong.

Take Leon out this match and give Cloud the boost from KHIII and Smash Ultimate in 2018, what do you get? Probably a much more boring match where he wins pretty easily. It's just surreal how this contest ended up playing out. We had Vivi beating Mario, Draven beating Link, and now Squirtle beating Cloud. Eventually Sephiroth would get knocked out to Draven and Mewtwo.
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Jesus christ, look how much Squirtle stands out in every single one of those pics. It's a bright blue smiling blob directly in the middle of dark colors and 'realistic' characters. Might actually have been important!
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ZenOfThunder posted...

It's weird to say that "Sephiroth pulled an upset here" and even weirder when you expand upon that and say "Sephiroth pulled an upset against Kirby here." Only in 2013!

I mean

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/poll/3305-contest-semifinal-cloud-snake-sephiroth-kirby
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also honestly Squirtle beating Cloud is probably more insane than Vivi beating Mario because at least there was the excuse of Ganondorf in the poll

but people were in the frame of mind to believe anything at this point in the contest especially if Pokemon was involved
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(6)Pikachu vs (2)Sora vs (12)Pokemon Trainer Blue




jfc



What is the opposite of "fall from grace?" "Rise to dominance?"

Also I made the mistake of googling "PaRappa Kingdom Hearts"



I'm not sure what the most amusing part of the image is, the drawing itself, the "copyright" by Italian Shorty III, or that there were two Italian Shorties before him. They're breeding and soon we will be consumed by the calzone.

Board 8 was so soaked with tears and beaten down by the results of the previous five matches that this was somehow not even a shocker of a result. By this point if you had tried to logically argue that Blue would pull Pikachu down enough to let Sora slip by you'd get laughed at. We all feared the Pokemon and we knew what it would do. Spare_us.RAT.

Sora actually might have been able to win this one if given enough time. The problem is that Sora shares the same fanbase with Pikachu to some extent, so any time he'd start to gain Pikachu would stop him. The same people obsessed with Kingdom Hearts are also way too into IV training their Pokemon. It's some "advanced weeaboo" thing. Managing Pokemon stats is just as difficult as making sense of the Kingdom Hearts plotline.

I want to say this match was entertaining, but it really wasn't. There were occasionally KH fans coming to the board asking how Sora was losing to a big dumb baby like Pikachu as if Sora isn't a big dumb baby himself. You want entertaining? Here's the one time ever Sora was a walkaround character at Disneyland:



Yikes, why didn't Disney just get Haley Joel Osment to dress up as him?



oh

why is he a duck dynasty now

(I'd still take it over whatever Italian Shorty III puts out)
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I think KP said Lightning losing to DK was the most embarrassing performance of the contest but I think Sora losing here ranks right up there with it.
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KamikazePotato posted...

Jesus christ, look how much Squirtle stands out in every single one of those pics. It's a bright blue smiling blob directly in the middle of dark colors and 'realistic' characters. Might actually have been important!

I wish Allen would have given us statistics for the amount of votes coming from the results page versus the front page. I'm curious how many people even saw our pics this year.

LeonhartFour posted...

ZenOfThunder posted...

It's weird to say that "Sephiroth pulled an upset here" and even weirder when you expand upon that and say "Sephiroth pulled an upset against Kirby here." Only in 2013!

I mean

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/poll/3305-contest-semifinal-cloud-snake-sephiroth-kirby

Bro there was a cloud over that match it don't count
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so are you saying Vivi > Mario doesn't count
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LeonhartFour posted...

I think KP said Lightning losing to DK was the most embarrassing performance of the contest but I think Sora losing here ranks right up there with it.

I remember feeling like Sora both had the potential to win and never did at the same time. I can't describe how I feel about that match, like I knew logically that Sora should and could win very easily but I also knew there was no way he was going to. Like Schrodinger's Match or something. Sora both could and couldn't win at the same time.

I have no idea what I am saying it makes sense to me tho
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LeonhartFour posted...

so are you saying Vivi > Mario doesn't count

this match is an anomaly we need to assign it an SCP number and contain it for further study
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I think my issue with DK>Lightning is that it wasn't even close. You take Falco out of that poll and it's something like 58-42. That's really bad! DK isn't very strong!

Sora losing to Pokemon isn't something I can begrudge him for even if he had the LFF advantage. I mean, Pikachu beat Crono, what was Sora going to do?
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I think the fact that it was close and Sora never really threatened to win is what makes it embarrassing.
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ZenOfThunder posted...

Maybe I'm just old fashioned. Bring back asbestos, it didn't do anything wrong.

Boy do I have some exciting news for you...!
https://archpaper.com/2018/08/epa-asbestos-manufacturing/
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(1)Samus Aran vs (8)L-Block vs (7)Tifa Lockheart




Alright so I logged into my Imgur account for the first time since 2013 to look for the raw versions of the magazine covers from my match pic, and holy shit is it just a treasure trove of weird Board 8 culture and history. This match was really boring anyway, some people thought L-Block could upset Tifa but there was never really a chance for that. For a short time we were just able to breathe... Just breathe.

So instead of more analysis here are pics from the ol' Zen archives, featuring minimized AIM cameos by @KamikazePotato and @Ashethan:





























<cite>ZenOfThunder posted [p:907187704] in ~*~Zen Ana... [t:76918242]...</cite> <quote>(1)Samus Aran vs (8)L-Block vs (7)Tifa Lockheart Alright so I logged into my Imgur account for the first time since 2013 to look for the raw versions of the magazine covers from my match pic, and holy shit is it just a treasure trove of weird Board 8 culture and history. This match was really boring anyway, some people thought L-Block could upset Tifa but there was never really a chance for that. For a short time we were just able to breathe... Just breathe. So instead of more analysis here are pics from the ol' Zen archives, featuring minimized AIM cameos by @KamikazePotato and @Ashethan: </quote>

... Copied to Clipboard!

my word that MWE PM
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here's some more:







allen was the one with 100% on hannah montana

also why did we stop censoring pics with tim allen's head that shit was hilarious
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I'm responsible for the top left Cloud/Squirtle/Leon pic. It's the only pic I've ever made that was accepted.
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here are all the pics I submitted for Round 1, even the rejected ones:



also:


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I also made these, which were rejected.
https://imgur.com/tWQjTDY
https://imgur.com/T7XKLGt
https://imgur.com/Tfkoyvl
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Anagram posted...

I also made these, which were rejected.
https://imgur.com/tWQjTDY
https://imgur.com/T7XKLGt
https://imgur.com/Tfkoyvl

i actually remember each and every one of these!! they were great, i can't believe allen passed on this goldmine
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I posted them in a "post your rejected pics" topic, and people generally liked the Link and Snake teaming up pic, but what can ya do.
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Wow I stayed up way later than I was supposed to, I gotta get up early tomorrow

This was fun, i'll try to wrap up this topic within the last two days. I will also be commenting on the bonus matches and maybe I'll spin this topic off into "Zen comments on potential new characters for CBX"
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The professor Oak one is brilliant
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How are we in a timeline where Cloud is in Smash Bros. but not PlayStation All-Stars?
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somehow we lucked out

now to get Spider-Man into Ultimate somehow
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tag
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Oh man, those magazine cover pictures were absolutely brilliant.

Though, I actually managed to sneak "B8" into a match pic that you'll be hitting very soon.
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Morning bumpo
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Was that plethora of borderline female pornographic pictures of female video game characters necessary?

yes
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As I mentioned earlier a lot of what I did this contest was pushing boundaries for pics to see what Bacon would take. I had been making them since 2007 and I was super bored with the same photos being used over and over

So yes kind of, I didn't expect most of them to be accepted anyway
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taggin
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tag

My goodness me this contest had a shit ton of fucked up results *_*
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I also want to mention my imgur account is filled to the brim with "sexy" pictures of all the CBIX characters from my topic series "Zen Determines if the CBIX Entrants Are Virgins"

I will be doing this again for CBX
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(6)Vivi vs (2)Squall Leonhart vs (4)Pokemon Trainer Red




Because Bacon released the guidelines for Round 3 and beyond's match pics way in advance, there were people who had pre-made Mario / Squall / Red pics that had to resubmit their pics because fucking Vivi beat Mario. I'm almost positive the picture in the top left originally had Mario in it.

This match was debated until Vivi pulled his upset, and all of a sudden it became a matter of Squall putting away Red with the newly-awakened sexual tyrannosaurus that was Vivi in the match. Could he pull it off?

Short answer: No

Long answer: fucking Vivi beat Squall

Again, expert brackets had been basically torn to shreds, but this match was cause to take a blowtorch to the scraps that were left. Vivi had a ton of momentum coming off his Mario win and everyone threw their votes his way like teen girls throwing their bras on stage at a [insert current popular boy band here] concert.

Vivi is going to be riding this win for the rest of his contest career. I wouldn't be surprised if he landed a 2-seed in CBX. That's how strong his win was (and still is!). We're going to be talking about it until contests die. Vivi could lose to Caim in R1 this year and we would still champion him.

If we step through a doorway and enter the Berenstein Bears dimension, we'd find a match where Missingno was here instead of Squall, and Vivi would advance to the semi-finals. On the left of that doorway is another leading us to the dimension where Sinbad actually was in a genie movie, and there we'd find a match where Mario beat Vivi and Squall would have had a shot to beat Red and advance to the semi-finals.

Are those realities better than the one we live in? That's up to you, the reader, to decide. Then you can complain in the comments and I'll ignore you.
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Squall beating Missingno was a tragedy. Vivi having bandwagon momentum could have gotten him to the finals.
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KamikazePotato posted...

Squall beating Missingno was a tragedy.

get out

Vivi had his moment and then stole Squall's
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