Poll of the Day > Is it ok to marry faster when older?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Or, I guess, is it normal to marry quicker when older is probably the better way to phrase it...

I have a co-worker who started dating a co-worker from a different section a little while ago. And they fell in love pretty quick. I noticed that it seems that when you're older, they seem to marry quicker. I guess because of age or something.
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I'd argue that the faster you get married increases your chances of the marriage failing, and is more indicative of desperation than it is of age. But then again, I'm anti-marriage in general.


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People should only marry when they're ready, regardless of age cause no one is the same. My mentality has always been to date at least two to three years to really know someone first.
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I'd say it's always dumb to marry fast.
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It's not how fast you marry.

It's how well you marry fast!
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Depends on the couple I'll say. Some folks I know got married after several years of dating while some do it after a year of dating. Of one couple who got married after a year, they were both in their mid 30's and already well established in their careers. Maybe they already knew what they wanted in a partner. My sister and brother-in-law were dating for nine years before getting married in their early 30's.
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pedro45 posted...

My mentality has always been to date at least two to three years to really know someone first.

If it takes you 2-3 years to decide if you want to spend 20-30 years or more with someone, you're doing it wrong.
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I dated the love of my life for 7 years before we got married.

Are they military people too?

People in the military wanna marry HELLA fast. I had a friend who was fooling around with some guy in the army for a few weeks. Right before he was supposed to go back to base, he proposed to her.

She ran FAR away
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Marry fast, marry well, marry smart. You can only do two out of the three.
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I think there's just more people that pressure you to get married or ask if you are when you're older and that makes some people feel pressured into getting married. Do what you feel is right though and not what others try to tell you

PK_Spam posted...

Are they military people too?

People in the military wanna marry HELLA fast. I had a friend who was fooling around with some guy in the army for a few weeks. Right before he was supposed to go back to base, he proposed to her.

She ran FAR away

No. This is at my other job. I know military marry fast. Some do it so they don't get separated if they're both in. Some do it to get money. Like females in our small town will have unprotected sex with military guys on the first day they meet them to get pregnant(Happened to a couple friends). Then they marry. After having the baby, some stay for a little, but they all usually end up divorcing. And then try to keep the child and get child support while living with their parents. Happens a good amount here. Luckily, they've been having better luck getting the fathers to have custody of the child as of late.
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I think it's more okay, because people generally know what they want out of life the further along they get in it. As long as you're being honest with one another before the marriage, I think it's easier to determine who's a "match" and who isn't once you get older.
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tbh, it depends on the people involved. The right person will be the right person if you marry within a week, a month, or a year. Conversely, you could date the wrong person for years, get married, and still have it fail.

In general, though, older people seem to take more time when it comes to marriage. It's more young people who seem to rush into it.
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Pus_N_Pecans posted...

I think it's more okay, because people generally know what they want out of life the further along they get in it. As long as you're being honest with one another before the marriage, I think it's easier to determine who's a "match" and who isn't once you get older.

That's what I'm thinking. If you've been around the block a few times, it doesn't take you as long to figure out whether a given relationship is worth getting invested in.

My wife and I got engaged 6 months after meeting and married... eh... another 8 months I think after that.

Things still going good a dozen years later. Just depends on the people, though.
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Better do it before it's illegal for u tc..

aside from financial benefits there isn't really any reason to get married.
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bossjony posted...

Better do it before it's illegal for u tc..

Trump described gay marriage as "the law of the land" so that kind of fearmongering seems ridiculous.
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bossjony posted...

Better do it before it's illegal for u tc..

I don't think I'm getting married. If I do, it won't be anytime soon...

Krazy_Kirby posted...

aside from financial benefits there isn't really any reason to get married.

That was the reason my friend got married...
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ParanoidObsessive posted...

I'd argue that the faster you get married increases your chances of the marriage failing, and is more indicative of desperation than it is of age. But then again, I'm anti-marriage in general.

I'll drink to that.
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Getting married fast is a mistake no matter the age.
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I feel like sometimes this works out, but I find that old people are just as dumb (well, dumber) as young people and jump into things too quickly without even really fully getting to get to know someone (a process that I believe, takes at least half a year).
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ReturnOfFa posted...

I feel like sometimes this works out, but I find that old people are just as dumb (well, dumber) as young people and jump into things too quickly without even really fully getting to get to know someone (a process that I believe, takes at least half a year).

I agree with this. Sometimes old people seem to regress in some senses and act as if they are young.
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They might feel pressured if they are indeed old. A limited time left sort of out look. Not going to say its a good thing but I understand why they might feel that way.

Its why I think my mom does everything in her power to make her marriage work. She's at a age where she's not confident in being able to find someome else. (Though to be fair its not only age. She's a strong willed woman and not many guys from her gen are into that)
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LinkPizza posted...

PK_Spam posted...

Are they military people too?

People in the military wanna marry HELLA fast. I had a friend who was fooling around with some guy in the army for a few weeks. Right before he was supposed to go back to base, he proposed to her.

She ran FAR away

No. This is at my other job. I know military marry fast. Some do it so they don't get separated if they're both in. Some do it to get money. Like females in our small town will have unprotected sex with military guys on the first day they meet them to get pregnant(Happened to a couple friends). Then they marry. After having the baby, some stay for a little, but they all usually end up divorcing. And then try to keep the child and get child support while living with their parents. Happens a good amount here. Luckily, they've been having better luck getting the fathers to have custody of the child as of late.

Who the fuck has unprotected sex with someone on the first day?

Your friends deserve to get trapped. Because theyre morons.
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PK_Spam posted...

LinkPizza posted...

PK_Spam posted...

Are they military people too?

People in the military wanna marry HELLA fast. I had a friend who was fooling around with some guy in the army for a few weeks. Right before he was supposed to go back to base, he proposed to her.

She ran FAR away

No. This is at my other job. I know military marry fast. Some do it so they don't get separated if they're both in. Some do it to get money. Like females in our small town will have unprotected sex with military guys on the first day they meet them to get pregnant(Happened to a couple friends). Then they marry. After having the baby, some stay for a little, but they all usually end up divorcing. And then try to keep the child and get child support while living with their parents. Happens a good amount here. Luckily, they've been having better luck getting the fathers to have custody of the child as of late.

Who the fuck has unprotected sex with someone on the first day?

Your friends deserve to get trapped. Because theyre morons.

It usually happens to the very young ones. Also, they're are usually virgins. And stuff like that. Most have sex the first day. So do wait and some use protections. But some don't because they'll say they're on the pill, but they're not...
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mooreandrew58 posted...

They might feel pressured if they are indeed old. A limited time left sort of out look. Not going to say its a good thing but I understand why they might feel that way.

Its why I think my mom does everything in her power to make her marriage work. She's at a age where she's not confident in being able to find someome else. (Though to be fair its not only age. She's a strong willed woman and not many guys from her gen are into that)

Most women start to think this was around their mid-late 20s, even if subconsciously. Theyll also do stupid shit like thinking they can just get a new guy and divorce someone for trivial reasons and act surprised when they cant find someone who wants to marry them when theyre 40 with 3 kids.

Also other factors in getting married fast, namely being catholic or being military. Catholic imo for stupid made up reasons (want to lose it but god says no lol) and military namely to get the benefits the recruiter promised you (food and housing money) yet conveniently forgot to mention you have to be married to get those perks.
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LinkPizza posted...

Or, I guess, is it normal to marry quicker when older is probably the better way to phrase it...

I wouldn't say it's normal but probably more appealing when you know the clock is slowly starting to slow down. I don't understand the need some folk have for marriage though.
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SunWuKung420 posted...

pedro45 posted...

My mentality has always been to date at least two to three years to really know someone first.

If it takes you 2-3 years to decide if you want to spend 20-30 years or more with someone, you're doing it wrong.

Thinking before a lifelong decision is wrong?
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EdgeMaster posted...

the benefits the recruiter promised you (food and housing money) yet conveniently forgot to mention you have to be married to get those perks.

You can get that stuff without being married as long as you live off-base. Being married or having kids does give you more money based on how many dependents you have. But depending on you spouse and kids(if any), it can feel like less. Haha. Though, if you have a dependents when you first go to you're base, you can move off instantly. Where if you have no dependents, they want you to live on base for a little while... Or until you get dependents...
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pedro45 posted...

SunWuKung420 posted...

pedro45 posted...

My mentality has always been to date at least two to three years to really know someone first.

If it takes you 2-3 years to decide if you want to spend 20-30 years or more with someone, you're doing it wrong.

Thinking before a lifelong decision is wrong?

Seriously. And i think at Least 6 months to a year of that time should be the two living together.

I say that because if not living together one can hide certain flaws or annoying habits of theirs but it will eventually crop up when living together.

On the military thing though I ways thought they married fast due to the fact they never stay in one place long.
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mooreandrew58 posted...

On the military thing though I ways thought they married fast due to the fact they never stay in one place long.

That's another reason, as well. But mostly for military to military marriages. With military to civilian, they can still get someone to move with them, depending on where they are moving. With military to military, if one of you gets orders and the other doesn't, then that sucks. Bing married means you can sometimes both get orders to the same place.
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LinkPizza posted...

mooreandrew58 posted...

On the military thing though I ways thought they married fast due to the fact they never stay in one place long.

That's another reason, as well. But mostly for military to military marriages. With military to civilian, they can still get someone to move with them, depending on where they are moving. With military to military, if one of you gets orders and the other doesn't, then that sucks. Bing married means you can sometimes both get orders to the same place.

Things must have changed could swore they had to be married to move with you (at least on the militarys dime like if you live on base)
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mooreandrew58 posted...

LinkPizza posted...

mooreandrew58 posted...

On the military thing though I ways thought they married fast due to the fact they never stay in one place long.

That's another reason, as well. But mostly for military to military marriages. With military to civilian, they can still get someone to move with them, depending on where they are moving. With military to military, if one of you gets orders and the other doesn't, then that sucks. Bing married means you can sometimes both get orders to the same place.

Things must have changed could swore they had to be married to move with you (at least on the militarys dime like if you live on base)

It depends. It use to be that you could only live on base(base housing) if you had dependents. So, if you lived on base with them, then your were probably already married. Though, they recently sold it to someone, so now you can either have dependents, or a military roommate. They can move all you stuff (and your SO's stuff, but considered yours) if you tell them it's all your stuff. Most people do DitY moves so they can get paid, though. That's a "Do it yourself" move. If you're not married, you can still move together(if they're civilian). The military just won't pay for them. So, that part is correct...
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LinkPizza posted...

mooreandrew58 posted...

LinkPizza posted...

mooreandrew58 posted...

On the military thing though I ways thought they married fast due to the fact they never stay in one place long.

That's another reason, as well. But mostly for military to military marriages. With military to civilian, they can still get someone to move with them, depending on where they are moving. With military to military, if one of you gets orders and the other doesn't, then that sucks. Bing married means you can sometimes both get orders to the same place.

Things must have changed could swore they had to be married to move with you (at least on the militarys dime like if you live on base)

It depends. It use to be that you could only live on base(base housing) if you had dependents. So, if you lived on base with them, then your were probably already married. Though, they recently sold it to someone, so now you can either have dependents, or a military roommate. They can move all you stuff (and your SO's stuff, but considered yours) if you tell them it's all your stuff. Most people do DitY moves so they can get paid, though. That's a "Do it yourself" move. If you're not married, you can still move together(if they're civilian). The military just won't pay for them. So, that part is correct...

I know too back in the day women went after military men for the financial security. If they where career military they got retirement pay and if they died before the woman the woman got his retirement pay or at least some of it I believe.

My gandmother truly did love her last husband but she was like that. 3 marriages and all 3 where career military men.

Hell think she still loved her first husband too. But that's a long fucked up story on how parents of people can ruin a good thing.
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Older people tend to have a better grasp of who they and what they want as well as playing fewer games. They cut the shit and get to know each other faster.
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Bugmeat posted...

Older people tend to have a better grasp of who they and what they want as well as playing fewer games. They cut the shit and get to know each other faster.

Also they are set in there ways. When marrying young they might change there ways and its not always for the better.
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I was with my hs sweetheart for 8 and a half years, then we broke it off

3 or 4 months later I started dated another girl and we dated for 2 and a half years before we got engaged and then were married the next year and have been for almost 3 years now

I don't really have opinions on marriage when it comes to age, but I will say that you should never marry someone unless you are sure they are the right one. I mean 8 and a half years with the first girl and I didn't marry her so no rush for anything at all

Bugmeat posted...

Older people tend to have a better grasp of who they and what they want as well as playing fewer games. They cut the shit and get to know each other faster.

True that. Time to hit up the nursing homes I think.
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wwinterj25 posted...

Bugmeat posted...

Older people tend to have a better grasp of who they and what they want as well as playing fewer games. They cut the shit and get to know each other faster.

True that. Time to hit up the nursing homes I think.

idk, my grandma dated her boyfriend for 5 years without ever marrying him and finally broke things off. I think he finally outlived her as well.
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When you are older you have probably already done the marriage thing, and know what your getting in to, also , you are probably already used to having someone in your life and miss it, versus being used to being on your own (after leaving your family/parents home etc).

If your much older, you may not have that much time left either lol.
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