Board 8 > Quinton ranks user-nominated Final Fantasy stuff

(+) Yeah! (+)

Gatarix posted...

quinton taking a bold stance on smfffc eligibility

neither one of us will be ranking Dark Nation on a character list
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>:(
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although I guess I could rank Vagrant Story characters because I did play a couple hours and quit because the weapons/battle system was so terrible
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Dark Nation is eligible for SMFFFC imo

But I am not host
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Whiskey_Nick posted...

Dark Nation is eligible for SMFFFC imo

But I am not host

yes but you also tried to push for a random FFVI enemy in the past
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Just wait till FFVII remake gives Dark Nation cutscene time.
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10. Durandal
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/d/da/D012_Durandal.PNG/revision/latest?cb=20110320043104

I know what you're thinking. "But Durandal sounds like 'Durr, Randal.'" You're not wrong. But try to #think outside the #hivemind and I promise you, you will come to respect Durandal. Also known by the inferior names of Durend and Twin Durandals, this wonderful weapon is said to have been "forged by spirits" according to the stellar localization efforts of Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions. I think it's really stupid that the far end of the blade looks like someone chopped it off, but I refuse to let that cloud my vision.

The Durandal is pretty. It looks like someone brought the very best of Victorian-era architecture to a cosplay convention. You'd better believe it turned heads that evening. It grants Triple AP for Tidus in Final Fantasy X. In Final Fantasy XII, it requires the Swords 9 license for wielding. That's right, my friends -- a literal Board 8 reference. It's even a gunblade in its Final Fantasy XIII incarnation. And in the Xenosaga trilogy, it's the name of Rubedo's spaceship. How much cooler can you be?

Well friends, there are nearly ten swords that are even cooler...

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09. Revolver
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/a/a7/Dissidia-Revolver.png/revision/latest?cb=20110218050949

A cultural icon, Squall's Revolver gunblade needs no formal introduction. From the basements of 1990's teenagers to the deepest courts of the Indian judicial system and the farthest reaches of snowy Siberia, every human being knows Revolver. Dig into the rich histories of Ancient Babylon and mighty Assyria and you will discover societies ahead of their time; nay, even the Aztecs under Montezuma heralded Revolver as a fine blade. Weapons Monthly Magazine reported that "What it lacks in power, it more than makes up for with its reliability."

To be sure, the Revolver is not perfect. Does that mean it is overrated? In my opinion, no. Consider the simple beauty of imperfection. God is perfect, and in Him we do look up. But our beautiful planet is ripe with the kind of imperfections which make life zesty. The Revolver is one such imperfection. What's wrong about it? Well, I once held a terrific replica of the Revolver at a flea market and I accidentally slapped myself in the face with the metal chain dangerously dangling from its handled hilt. Needless to say, the fault was not my own.

Gilgamesh knows what's up, so in the hit 2006 video game Final Fantasy XII, you'll note that the Revolver is among the great swords which constitute his collection. And in Final Fantasy: Record Keeper, it has five stars, so that's probably good or whatever, who cares. But most iconic of all -- eat your heart out, Jecht -- Squall Leonhart wields his Revolver like a boss. Not a boss fight, mind you.

A boss.

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SaveEstelle posted...

Consider the simple beauty of imperfection. God is perfect, and in Him we do look up. But our beautiful planet is ripe with the kind of imperfections which make life zesty. The Revolver is one such imperfection. What's wrong about it? Well, I once held a terrific replica of the Revolver at a flea market and I accidentally slapped myself in the face with the metal chain dangerously dangling from its handled hilt. Needless to say, the fault was not my own.

now this is cinema
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08. Anastasia
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/b/ba/RW_Anastasia.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20180223160156

Known throughout the annals of commonly-shared human history as the sword that screamed when "I killed the Tsar and his ministers," Anastasia is an epic piece of metal. Gazing upon its noble frame is like picturing the most beautiful woman naked yet ready to pounce and slice and dismember my soul. That is to say, it is a sword worth dying over. Gilded but not gaudy, Anastasia is a type of weapon invented for the purposes of killing scary monsters as well as other people.

Entrusted to Vaan by the Yarhi in the hit video game Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings, Anastasia is forged from Velis' soul and defined as a "Godsblade." It's powered each time the Well of Whispered Oaths is completed. Whilst Vaan himself looks stupid, Anastasia does not look stupid, and I must fall upon mine hands and knees in silent prayer at the power of Anastasia to look so not-stupid that even in Vaan's hands it allows its wielder to shine.

It does not, however, allow its wielder to SHINE, and for that there are seven swords even greater than Anastasia.


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robert baratheon, durr king of durr randals
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Mac Arrowny posted...

robert baratheon, durr king of durr randals

Quinton liked this.

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07. Excalibur II
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/0/03/ExcaliburII-ffix-knightsword.png/revision/latest?cb=20120623150147

Where I'm from, we have a saying. "Only Nixon could go to China." Excalibur II purports to "improve upon perfection." As we previously discussed, there is beauty in imperfection. This is an important thing to remind my dear readers because I refuse to believe that the pursuit of improving perfection can be anything more than a fool's errand -- an imperfect effort. Nevertheless, I must needs acknowledge that the Excalibur II, first introduced in hit 2000 video game Final Fantasy IX as the reward for a ludicrous optional challenge, is a prime example of a very sharp piece of metal.

What I like most about Excalibur II is just how extra it is. The legendary holy sword Excalibur is the romantic conquest of Final Fantasy V's much-adored Gilgamesh. History tells us that in Gilgamesh's mind, there is no sword more desirable than Excalibur. Yet along comes a spider. This sword is so extra that the English localization for Final Fantasy XII didn't even know what to do with it; one of Gilgamesh's swords in that game is labeled "Excalibur2" but overseas the asset is called "NOT_USED." NOT_USED. What title could possibly be more direct about how extra Excalibur II truly is? The English localization team knew the fabled weapon is above human hands and also above the hands of... whatever Gilgamesh is, exactly. They wisely and cleverly and clearly deliberately opted to respect the distance between mankind and Excalibur II.

Excalibur II's Final Fantasy IX birthplace lists its attack power is 108. This refutes the common claim that Final Fantasy IX lists its weapon strengths between 1 and 100. But obviously this was the original plan; Excalibur II is simply so extra that it refused to follow directions. I will never wield Excalibur II and I am okay with that. Well, technically I wielded it in Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift.

But that doesn't count.

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06. swordz9
https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13198383_f520.jpg

I was on a train traveling through the state of Georgia one balmy summer afternoon when I first encountered @swordz9 . He didn't know me back then. I didn't know him either. But I remember the flashpoint moment which dictated the course of the rest of our lives.

I was saving a young lady from ertyu, who was running a Muk on the train. Tried as I might, my then-young arms could not pull the woman out from Muk's innards without accidentally brushing up against her ample bosom. I wanted to save the life of this troubled lass but I preferred not to be viewed as a sexual opportunist in the process. I hesitated. In that panicked second, Muk almost finished swallowing her whole. That was when swordz9 appeared wielding nine swords of various cutting power. He went straight for the source. What folly! I should have known from the start. By killing ertyu, swordz9 sent the "ronin" Muk into a frenzy. It spat the woman clear across the train and fled the scene of the crime. And the name of that woman?

Albert Einstein.

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wow Growing Pains Leo is an underrated Leo for sure
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bumpo

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lumpo
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DanteIsSlacking posted...

lumpo

Lumping one likes to join in pranks? Lumpo one is wiser one than other ones!

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Beautiful.
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swords and swords and swords and swords and swords and
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Top 5 tomorrow. Prepare yourselves.

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SaveEstelle posted...

Even pjbasis is aware now. He murmurs under his breath that this is not his fault but acknowledges that it could have been.

amazing
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I'd do them all right now but my Chromebook's at 6%. You have been warned.

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05. Buster Sword
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/9/9a/Buster_sword_2_FF7.png/revision/latest?cb=20100611221609

It's an open secret that I included the citizenry of the French city of Paris during the making of this list. The French are a very opinionated people. I wanted to include their insight. JRPGs are huge over there. Great, great people, the French. But as I said, opinionated. So when I told the Prime Minister that I was going to list the Buster Sword sixth, he threatened to have my diplomatic credentials revoked. He and his constituents were determined to push the Buster Sword to #1, but we settled on 5th with the concession that swordz not reach the top 5. swordz is, naturally, not well-received among the French people.

The Buster Sword is quite possibly the single most memorable weapon in Final Fantasy. That is, if you ask the proletariat. But I am an elite. I understand things that you'll soon come to appreciate. Was the Buster Sword wielded by the legendary Cloud Strife? Check. Is it on the cover of the most popular non-Pokemon JRPG of all time? Check. Is it excellent? Check. Is it the best? No. Checkmate, atheists.

But I've grumbled enough. The Buster Sword plays a nice role in the hit 1997 video game Final Fantasy VII as Cloud's ever-present blade. Even when he gets better blades. Which actually happens rather often. The Buster Sword was Zack Fair's, you see, and he passed it on to Cloud like a blind man passes exquisite curry to a prince destined to die. It's a heartfelt scene and a powerful plot beat to remember. Unfortunately, every appearance since FFVII has kind of sucked. Gilgamesh's FFXII Buster Sword is fake; all it does in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance is teach the Wyrmtamer ability; it forgets to do even that much in Final Fantasy XII. It's a dummied-out weapon for Tidus in Final Fantasy X, which is a dummy move and then some. And its legacy is somewhat tarnished by its existence in Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, because everything that exists in Compilation of Final Fantasy VII is somewhat tarnished by proxy.

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04. Save the Queen
https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Final-Fantasy-Weapons-Save-Queen.jpg?q=50&fit=crop&w=738&h=369

The British Empire rose to power in much the same way as the fading glory of the Spanish Empire before it. Through killing people. It is fitting, then, that in Final Fantasy, Save the Queen is usually a blade made for killing people. What better way to save a monarch than to kill all those who would bring her harm? In Final Fantasy VIII, Save the Queen takes the form of a whip instead, but this can be attributed to the wielder's many-splendored kinks. At just 18 years old, Quistis Trepe has lived an impressively diverse sexual life; she has already discovered the ultra-niche bad breath fandom, so it's no wonder she turned a Queen's salvation into BDSM.

I could talk about Save the Queen's swordly-lordly appearances in video games other than Final Fantasy IX, but there is precious little point in so doing -- save, of course, for the mention that in Final Fantasy Tactics, the weapon is held by one Meliadoul Tingle's Rosee Red Rupee Land. It is in Gaia, however, that Save the Queen earns its fourth-place keep. Beatrix uses this blade to instantly leave the player's ragtag mouse band of party members at 1 HP, which in real-world, get-a-job terms is the rough equivalent of ripping someone's arms and legs off, ruining their necks forevermore, and then patching them up with just enough gauze to prevent them from bleeding out completely before the paramedics arrive and, I don't know, what do you even do for a patient at that point? Blow on it?

It is precisely because Beatrix not only cannot be beaten but looks like a boss whilst cutting me up -- step on me, Beatrix -- that I cannot help but declare my love and devotion to the eponymous "Queen."

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03. Brotherhood
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/8/8b/Brotherhood.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20161129210203

According to garbage gacha whalemonger hussy Final Fantasy: All the Bravest, "To bestow this to another is to anoint them your best friend forever." This is, indisputably, the one and only thing that mobile-exclusive Final Fantasy has ever gotten unequivocally correct. In the hit 2001-02 video game Final Fantasy X, Wakka bestows Brotherhood upon Tidus. The two forge a lifelong friendship. Even through the toughest times, such as the climactic battle with Sin and the technically-canon mere existence of Final Fantasy X-2 as a piece of Spiran history where Tidus wasn't even around anyway, Wakka and Tidus have always maintained the greatest bromance the franchise ever knew -- until Final Fantasy XV, anyway.

The nicest thing about Brotherhood is that it's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, pretty. Contrary to apparently popular opinion, I do not consider blue to be the best color. Yet there are things in this world which make me turn my head nevertheless. Blue lightsabers are one of those things, though they are generally far surpassed by almost any other lightsaber color and this is one of my only core grievances with the Star Wars sequel trilogy because I don't think Rey is ever getting a green lightsaber and that's not only disappointing it's downright damning and Disney has made a critical mistake which will haunt them for the remainder of their days and I can only hope the hiring of Kevin Feige as a producer on a new Star Wars movie is the kick in the teeth that the Lucasfilm Story Group needs in order to give someone significant a green lightsaber, or really anyone at all, the only time we've even seen a green lightsaber in the new films is in that flashback with Luke in The Last Jedi, which was like fifteen seconds long, and he didn't even kill anyone with it, which I guess is fair if only because if he had, he would in fact be the out-of-character character that Last Jedi naysayers claim he is, but it was actually this precise moment in the plot which re-establishes that this is in fact the Luke Skywalker we know and love, but even still, the lack of fatalities to green lightsabers in the modern era of Star Wars storytelling is disgusting, degrading, and a devolution of everything we hold sacred within the United States of America.

In Brotherhood's case, however, blue is best.

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Brotherhood is indeed the prettiest sword in the series
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02. Ragnarok
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/4/4c/Ragnarok_-_FF6_iOS.png/revision/latest?cb=20140712010053

Every single time the recurring sword called Ragnarok has appeared in the Final Fantasy series, it has singlehandedly stolen the stage. Anything that is occurring between characters, world, gameplay mechanics, raw visual assets -- all of it is instantly sidelined so that we as a civilization can bend our knees and hero worship the sun. Yet there is no finer instance of Ragnarok than in Final Fantasy VI, because it is an Esper as well as a sword, a living embodiment of the actual "ragnarok" which happens during the game's narrative. My only regret in life is not being old enough during the production of the cult classic 1998 video game Xenogears to tell Tetsuya Takahashi what the game was truly missing.

I knew the word "ragnarok" long before I studied Norse history because of Final Fantasy. I met my wife and became a proud great-grandfather because of Final Fantasy. I can only draw breath through this mask because of Final Fantasy. Ragnarok, to me, is synonymous with Final Fantasy. But I do have a confession to make.

When I was 11 years old, I embarked on my very first adventure as a writer of stories and designer of worlds. In the first iteration of my "original" fantasy universe, virtually everything I penned was -- at best -- a pudding-thick allusion to something which already existed. There was a big, thick, muscular man who looked like a horned version of Bruno from Pokemon Red and Blue and I called him Korangar. Which is Ragnarok spelled backwards.

I can only hope to be forgiven in the next life.


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I'll tell you #1 later hehe.

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ya go my Lionheart
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Leonhart4 posted...

ya go my Lionheart

are you attempting to will this into existence y/n

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I hold this truth to be self-evident
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I would do a best FF weapons topic myself, but I could never measure up to this.
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Ragnarok with some mighty Warp Strikes is pretty neat
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01. Lionheart
https://assets.rpgsite.net/images/images/000/080/595/original/ff8_lionheart_disc_1_lion_heart.jpg

France is an interesting place. During my stay in Paris, I received accommodations at the French embassy in France. France has its own embassy. It is where esteemed diplomats from France are given lodging whilst visiting France. Dont look this up because the internet lies about everything, you cant trust it. So there I was, in the French embassy in Paris, and the French visitors to France were huddled beside the fireplace in the gorgeous Hall of Estelle. One and all, they wanted me to regale them with tales of my exploits. I told them my darkest story of all the time I was killed in action in the Vietnam War.

i was picking plums in the jungle when I bore witness to the arrival of the American Armed Forces. I soon realized that the North Vietnamese Army was hidden among the plum trees so I offered them some plums. They accepted. But then I offered the American soldiers some plums, too, but that didnt sit well with the North Vietnamese, who shot me to death. Afterward, I climbed up the nearest hill and retrieved the gunblade of a fallen Russian soldier whose very presence in Vietnam that night I was sworn to secrecy over.

The gunblade, Lionheart, glowed a fierce blue that appeared green on my childhood TV screen, which as weve established scores things real points with me. I gave the American soldiers suppressing fire as they advanced, but then I remembered that technically that means I was suppressing them with bullets, so I apologized for my silliness and gave them covering fire instead. Alarmed by my marshal prowess, the North Vietnamese launched a rocket at me from their hidden tunnels below the jungles surface, killing me instantly. Afterward, I tapped R1 multiple times in rapid succession which was nevertheless carefully timed. My new weapon, the gunblade Lionheart, flashed in a manner I can only label epic and I proceeded to dive off of my hill and slash the North Vietnamese soldiers in spectacular fashion until none drew breath. The retreating French Army came by afterward, hugging and kissing the American soldiers, who were so embarrassed by this behavior that they shot me square in the face, killing me.

In Final Fantasy VII, disc 1 spoilers pertains to a tragic narrative loss. The heroes lose someone near and dear to them forever. In the hit 1999 video game Final Fantasy VIII, however, the message of empowerment extends to the games own disc 1 spoilers. Gamers and Freemasons in hushed whispers regale one-another with increasingly lofty stories about how careful and industrious players can obtain Lionheart before the end of disc 1. Whereas Sephiroth wanted to keep Cloud down, Final Fantasy VIII is free to explore such startling themes as human genetic engineering what is Nietzsches superman if not a world in which we summon the blade?

I learned so very much in Vietnam that day and I have imparted that knowledge upon the French ambassadors to France. I should want nothing more than to believe that even now, Lionheart awaits me, so that in my darkest hour I can see the dawn.

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It wouldn't be a Lionheart writeup without an oblique reference to Vegh
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Everyones favorite FF sword is Lionheart.
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Leonhart4 posted...

It wouldn't be a Lionheart writeup without an oblique reference to Vegh

Absofrakkinglutely.

Anagram posted...

Everyones favorite FF sword is Lionheart.

Absofrigginglutely.

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Time for some battle/overworld themes.
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i can't wait until we get to primals in eorzea
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hell yeah

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once again we are deprived of knowing the best field and battle themes
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don't say that

remember the legend of jcgamer who returned to us to do his vgm rankings after like a year and a half

i still believe
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also I never received a list of characters
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I, too, still believe

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Someday you and me
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will all go down in history
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SaveEstelle posted...

7. SMFFFC hosts
-BK

oh no
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I've got a while before you get to characters
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You really do

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