Lurker > Kamekguy

Kiryu would surrender the instant he saw DK supporting a small child.

They would then decide it based on if Pauline or Haruka is a better singer.

You ever done insta-platforms with Squitter? If you press L and R slightly desynced, it generates a platform right under Squitter's feet. Love speeding through Web Woods with that.

VERY good list, agree with pretty much all of it aside from thinking Arctic Abyss is fine, or at least not worse than Black Ice Battle. A couple I like speeding through so I'm biased toward 'em (Parrot Chute Panic especially is a ton of fun to freefall), but very little objectionable!

-hotdogturtle-- posted...

Are you implying that DK would be less resilient than a bus?

Nah he's stronger than a bus, but his high bar in Bananza is "shatter concrete" for sheer bustin' power, and that's about on-par with MK. Again, basing it JUST on non-Kong Bananza DK and imagining the Moon Punch as "he tried really, really hard to punch the moon" as opposed to just what he's tossin' out all the time.

Meta Knight is weird. A lot of his attacks actually do enough damage to be reasonable to compare to DK - at base, his sword can knock over an entire bus of Waddle Dees in Planet Robobot, something that can only be matched by the actual Robobot Armor. There's a pretty direct comparison to be made for MK having that level of strength at minimum, which would put him at least on par, if not better, than pre-transformation DK. This is to say nothing of speed and skill, which are leagues above what DK can do - keeping up with Wheelie Rider while escaping the Halberd BACKWARDS and that flight speed being consistent across boss appearances is way beyond anything DK could do.

I could see a feasible route to Meta Knight winning if he killed Pauline first. I do think base Bananza DK has no better options for Meta Knight than "throw rocks at him", and Meta Knight is actively able to heal himself and improve his speed as a fight goes on. However, a bunch of MK's best feats of "he beat Galacta Knight, the strongest warrior in the universe!" just... didn't happen, merely existing as what-ifs where he COULD do it I guess if he wanted to. Additionally, I just don't see him ganking Pauline; if DK brought a child into the fight, I feel like Meta Knight would be honorable and not kill a child. At which point, yeah dude, Kong Bananza REALLY hurts, like "I hit a man so hard it parted the clouds with his carcass" is gonna deal damage.

If Meta Knight plays the lamest game imaginable I think he takes it. Which means that the average Brawl player would win this. But nah, Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong

I think sans would throw. Both of them are really lazy, but Donkey Kong would want to go out for bananas. sans would not respect the limits of this topic and would shrug and ask if DK wants to go eat bananas, and DK would go "OK!" and sans would give up so that DK would buy the food.

It's silly, but I don't see any reason for sans to keep it up battle-wise. Dude would get really tired really fast.

https://youtu.be/Fej1macKCRs

If there's naturally a lot of electricity in an area, Donkey Kong can clap his hands and make lightning strike someone if they're holding metal. Also one of his pants from Bananza actively reduces shock damage; debatable if he'd have it equipped or that the rules are on "can DK change his pants in the middle of a fight", but there's a world where DK is just. Outright passively countering everything Kafka can do.

DK is a uniquely bad match-up for Kafka. Bananza DK actively just walks through electric goop whilst taking damage, so his actual 'stun' time is bad, he has good showings WITH lightning, and he has active mind control resistance from not really doing much. Even if you wanna argue Kafka mind controlling Pauline, DK has broken her out of a reduced mental state (Odd Rock) before by simply beating his chest really, really hard. There are times where Kafka CAN win this, but DK has a ton of options to close the gap and oddly specifically has gotten through her best tricks.

There is precedent in DKC3, where Dixie Kong and Kiddy Kong turn into Ellie the Elephant to drink a weird waterfall creature named Squirt and then shoot his squirt water back in his eyeballs, blinding him until he spits out a jet ski.

I'm not saying it's a GOOD idea, but there IS a reason to assume that if a Kong transforms into an elephant, they can identify someone made out of liquid can be sucked and spat back out. Mostly because a literal toddler has done it before.

Look I am the biggest bulwark of support you could ask for for DK.

Alucard. There's just too many things Alucard could do and the dude's got knocked multiple rooms through Dracula's castle before and walked it off. I think DK can get in a good hit and zebra is a better speed option than wolf. In pretty much every other category, Alucard has some way of countering DK.

Pauline embarrasses Faerie at singing, though.

DK punches Pikachu into Red on accident, breaking Red's spine and killing him instantly.

DK Vs "these six Pokemon exactly" is scary and has a lot for me to consider. DK not accidentally destroying a 12-year old with the amount of collateral he's causing is a lot harder for me to argue against.

That said I do think that Blastoise and Snorlax are active detriments here if they're out, actual fodder for DK to toss around. He doesn't kill them fast, but everyone else kinda just gets rocked incidentally as he throws them.

To its credit, the auto-revive continues on from DK's health bar. It WILL effectively double his base health, but he's pretty much still going with whatever he's doing; his momentum and damage animations persist. So it's more "he will absolutely live this hit in specific" rather than "he has reset neutral instantly".

General cheatsheet of things DK can do now. BANANZA SPOILERS TO FOLLOW.

-Destroy a four-story building floor by floor in 30 seconds (this is gameplay you just do that)
-Punch through a LOT. Literally cubic miles of smashing things. In-game this peaks at spiked, reinforced concrete.
-Slow down time by turning into a snake. This is not a targeted effect, it slows down in-game timers. He can spam this as long as he can transform into the snake.
-Does not flinch from being hit if charging a punch.
-Turn into an elephant who can suck up terrain issues and then throw them back at people. This includes pure rock walls; he just sucks you to death.
-Turn the ground and his surroundings into gold when transformed and unleashing an attack. If he throws the gold or hits you with the gold, the gold explodes. He can also surf on the gold.
-He can sense where you are by hitting the ground really hard. This can also send off loose objects around him.

I think " time slow" and "yeah he just destroys anything short of solid metal casually" are probably the highlights from Bananza, but in general he just... sucks less, eyeball test-wise? A lot of his one-off feats (punching K Rool through a metal ceiling in DKC2, for example) are just things he does in gameplay now.

Coming into the game with the major worry that DK's moveset would trivialize level design, the main fun that I have is in how densely littered everything is within the game. Donkey Kong is absolutely too strong for the world around him, and every Bananza transformation or new level gimmick does not so much give you a constructed challenge but a way to even further destroy the level design. And a lot of stages KNOW that and add further gimmicks exclusive to them that give you mobility and platforming arrangements that would be frankly absurd. I liken Bananza's movement more to something like a Spider-Man game; the area and level design around you is more there to facilitate the strength of the basic movement rather than a constructed challenge around it, with Bananza then escalating that going "ok here is a new toy, break this now" with every layer. Progression exists for the sake of getting bananas so that DK becomes stronger so he can then break it more.

I will say that around 500F is when it all REALLY started to click for me, but the sheer novelty went a long way and stimulated my mind like nothing else. Though I'll gladly say DK is my favorite series regardless, so my propensity to TRY to like the game is probably higher than most.

4.5

It's a very clumsy rail shooter. Shocked every time I go back to it just how rough it feels to control, especially compared to Star Fox 64 on the same console. But like, there's such a charm to putting way too many Charmanders on-screen or ruining Jigglypuff's concert with the Poke Flute. Very cute nothing game.

9

Tyson fight is still one of the best representations of an out-of-games character as a video game boss. Fight data was properly taken to emulate Tyson's fights in making the first 90 seconds this explosive test of pure survival and once that was over, you were merely treated to "the hardest fight in the game". One of the few times I think difficulty perfectly embodied what its real-world equivalent was trying to represent while still celebrating the mechanics of the game itself. To the point where I'd rate the Mr. Dream version lower despite that just being a reskin as it doesn't sell the narrative of "oh. That's Mike Tyson. He's gonna kill me.", Mr. Dream's just kind of an ass.

Rest of the game is rock solid for NES but not nearly as good, Tyson elevates it a full point on his own.

Metal Gear Solid 2

Super Mario Galaxy

Final Fantasy X

Metal Gear Solid 3

Final Fantasy VI

Final Fantasy VII

Super Mario Galaxy

These are really close for me though I could flip-flop on any given day.

Chrono Trigger
Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
-

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
Persona 4

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Super Smash Bros Ultimate

Disco Elysium
Metal Gear Solid 3

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Metaphor: ReFantazio

Persona 5
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

Donkey Kong Country
Super Mario Galaxy

Astro Bot
Super Mario Odyssey
Final Fantasy IX
Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
Final Fantasy X
Pokemon Gold/Silver/Crystal
Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds

Super Smash Bros Melee
Super Mario 64
Persona 4
Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Star Fox 64
-
Persona 3

Disco Elysium

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
Disco Elysium
-
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

Final Fantasy VIII
Kingdom Hearts II
Metaphor: ReFantazio
Nier: Automata

Banjo-Kazooie
Final Fantasy VII
Hades
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

Metal Gear Solid
Donkey Kong Country
Final Fantasy VII Remake
Kirby and the Forgotten Land

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Final Fantasy IX
Super Mario Bros. Wonder
Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island

Chrono Trigger
Devil May Cry 3
Super Mario Odyssey
-

Silent Hill 2 (2001)
Hi-Fi Rush
Resident Evil Village
Diddy Kong Racing

Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie's Double Trouble
Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
Final Fantasy X
Okami

Mass Effect 2
Persona 4
God of War (2018)
Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow

Let's gooooo top option.

Super Smash Bros Melee
Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow
Metroid Dread

Lies of P
Ori and the Will of the Wisps
Persona 3 (2007)
Super Smash Bros Ultimate

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Batman: Arkham Asylum
Star Fox 64

Damn and I'd vote for Survivors over anything today other than SotN and what it drew. Rough luck!

Resident Evil 2 (2019)
Crash Team Racing
Final Fantasy Tactics
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

Ninja Gaiden (2004)
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
Baldur's Gate 3
Disco Elysium

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
Metal Slug
Nier Automata
Psychonauts 2