Current Events > CYOA: You are a Magikarp and your grandfather is dying of cancer.

(+) Yeah! (+)

C Bruno beat the Tentafamily maybe he'll beat the Blaine Train.

B. Step up and use Trainer!

This looks like a tough obstacle, and what better to challenge the most dangerous pokemon that you've ever seen inside a high pressure environment in front of a hostile crowd than a highly emotional teenage girl?

You roll forward onto the arena at the same time the teen challenger slinks off in tears. Then you throw your pokeball, making Trainer appear in front of you.

Blaine: "Wait is that a Bucket?... Is that a Magikarp?....Is someone challenging the Great Gym Leader Blaine with a damn Magikarp? IS THAT A GIRL!? DID SHE JUST COME OUT OF A POKEBALL!? What is this? Ugh I should have taken my medication this morning."

Trainer: "Bwyaaah... Where am I now? What's happening!? Why was I drowning!? Who are all you people? Where are my family!?"

Officer Jenny: "Ohhhh ! You must be that Magikarp's trainer! How did you manage to get stuck inside its ball? Wait... I did the same thing at the Pokecenter, the balls must be defective. That explains everything. No wonder the poor tiny thing seemed so hopeless, lost and useless."

You: "Magikarp Magikarp Magikarp!"(Whose side are you on anyway?)

Blaine: *sigh* "Let's get this over with little lady, step out of the arena and I'll happily turn that ugly Magikarp of yours into bad sushi."

Trainer: "The Magikarp!?... Oh THAT Magikarp. Oh I am going to make him p-....P-p-p-pony!"

Trainer's eyes seem to turn into love hearts as she notices the Ponyta for the first time and leers at it.

Trainer: "Oh it's adorable! It's perfect! I want one!"

Blaine: "But what about your Magikarp?"

Tentacool: "Tentacool Tentacool!" (Yeah kick its butt!)

Trainer : "Hey if I wanna ride the pony, I am going to ride the pony! Where in the rules does it say a human can't compete in a pokemon battle anyway!?"

Officer Jenny: "Rule #1 I believe."

Trainer: "Whose side are you on anyway!?"

Before anyone could react, Trainer leaps onto Ponyta's back, spontaneously expertly avoiding the flames as if she's been doing this for years. The crowd is stunned, they're not sure if this is real or a show.

Trainer: "Giddyup! Wheeee! I'm a princesses! Wheeeeeee! You're my noble steed! WHEEEEE!"

Ponyta is distraught and confused. He doesn't know what what do, he runs in circles, jumps, rears, neighs, spreads fire in all directions and tries to aggressively shake Trainer off but the more he exerts himself the more fun Trainer seem to have as she cheers louder and louder.

Eventually Ponyta tumbles under his own hooves and falls over, hurting himself in his confusion. Trainer lands on her feet like a cat and starts stroking his back.

Trainer "I'm gonna hug him and pet him and kiss him and feed him and groom him and ride him all day and call him Cupcakes and he'll be my bestest friend forever and ever and ever and ever. From this moment on we're going to be totally inseparable!"

Ponyta's expression sours, you see a look of fear and terror on his face that you've not seen since that time you walked in on your brother with a Dhelmise.

Without hesitation the Ponyta screeches in horror and jumps out of the arena before galloping through the crowd , away from Trainer and out of the gym faster than you ever thought could be possible. Not even looking back once. You've seen Abras teleport more slowly than that .

Ponyta has fled.

The crowd doesn't know how to react.

Blaine: "Daaoh! what have you done!? You scared him off! It's going to take forever before I get him back now!"

Trainer "Hey! It's your fault you grumpy old geezer! You clearly spooked him. Obviously Cupcakes loves me."

Officer Jenny: "You know, I think if Blaine doesn't produce another pokemon then that's a forfeit."

Blaine: "Whose side are you on anyway!?"

Trainer: "Well I'm sure anyone with a pokemon as cute and lovable as Cupcakes must really value beauty and elegance in all of their pokemon."

Blaine throws a pokeball and a fat Magmar emerges in a flash with a glazed expression on its face and its tongue lulling out.

Trainer "KILL IT WITH FIRE!"
Officer Jenny: "I don't think you can."

Blaine: "Magmar! Teach this bothersome brat a lesson!"

Jets of fire burst out of Magmar with a vicious tenacity. Trainer barely crouches beneath the flames at the last moment. It singes the top of her head and burns her hair. Trainer squeaks in irritation, marches up to the Magmar and starts poking it in the chest as her eyes twitch in anger.

Trainer : "Listen you Mighty Ducks reject! Do you have any idea how long it takes to get-"

Magmar lurches forward and pecks Trainer directly across the face with its beak while she was talking. Making Trainer grab her face and squeal

Trainer: "Owwww! You big stupid je-"

Magmar just pecks her again even harder, in the eye this time, making her flinch.

Trainer: "YEEEOWWWW!"

Blaine: "Now Magmar! Finish her off!"

The puzzled crowd is starting to pick up again and cheer for Blaine.

What do you do?

A. Trainer use Leer!
B. Trainer use Quick Attack!
C. Trainer use Ride!
D. This isn't going well. Withdraw Trainer, use splash!
E. This isn't going well. Withdraw Trainer, go Bruno!
F. This isn't going well. Tag in Officer Jenny.
G. Give up. You're outmatched fish.

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JE19426 posted...

C Bruno beat the Tentafamily

Technically he lost

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Lmao this is gold.

C. Worked the first time.

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E
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Guns_of_Verdun posted...

that time you walked in on your brother with a Dhelmise.

Lmao.

F

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F. The nurse is cool underpressure, so she can obviously cool the flames, in those fire Pokemon's heart, and body, and everything else.

JE19426 posted...

F. The nurse

Oh my...

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F
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F. Gotta make sure every1 is leveled.

F

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This is fantastic

F. This isn't going well. Tag in Officer Jenny.

You: "Magikarp ! Magikarp Magikarp! (Officer Jenny! Get in there!)

Officer Jenny stares at you blank faced.

Officer Jenny: "I know, I know. You're supposed to be out there, it must be frustrating but this feisty girl doesn't seem to understand."

Oh nuts to this. You withdraw both Trainer and Officer Jenny. Then throw your pokeball and Officer Jenny re-emerges inside the arena.

Blaine: "Ohhogo! So now little miss forefit wants some! Well you just stepped onto the rails of the Blaine Train! Magmar! Make it quick but not painless!" He waves his cane as he yells .

A bewildered Officer Jenny trembles a little as Magmar approaches her.

Officer Jenny: "H-hey now. There's no need for violence. Can't we settle this over a nice game of scrabble instead?"

The crowd jeer and boo at her cowardice. They're into it now and are out for blood.

Magmar: "Magmar.... Magmar!" (You sound just like my mother.... I HATED my mother!)

Magmar raises his hand for a Katate Chop and brings it down, only to miss at the final moment due to Tentacool frantically crawling into the arena and pushing Officer Jenny out of the way.

Tentacool: "Tentacool Tentacool Tentacool!" (You leave her alone you big red monster!")

A chorus of boos echos throughout the arena.

Magmar: "Magmar Magmar?" (Oh yeah? Who's gonna stop me)

Tentacool: "Tentacool!" (I am!)

Magmar: "Magmar!"(Gwahahaga! I eat seafood like you for breakfast!)

Tentacool: "Tentacool!" (Eat This!)

The Tentacool spurts out toxic black mist. No where close to as much as the Tentacruel expelled but enough to completely blind the Magmar when fired at close range directly In the face. And unlike with Bruno it is super effective.

The Magmar staggers around awkwardly and then is accidentally whacked across the face by Officer Jenny's swinging hooped hair when she stands back up.

Officer Jenny: "Y-you saved me. And here i thought I was looking after you."

The Tentacool's cheeks glow red and it looks at the floor sheepishly.

Blaine: "Oh you want a 2 on 2 team battle eh? That's fine with me! Rhydon! Crush them both!"

The crowd roars in anticipation.

He throws a pokeball and a Magcargo appears on the field, haplessly squelching across the ground slowly.

Blaine: "Oh God damn it, I keep meaning to label those things. Well, adopt, adapt, improve... Magcargo! Get them!"

The Magcargo looks at you and yawns loudly. Suddenly you feel a little sleepy.

Blaine: "NO! Not the damn fish! Get that silly girl and her little squid too!"

Meanwhile The blinded Magmar starts to become enraged that it can't see and explodes a powerful inferno of fire all across the gym, leaving scorch marks on your bucket, making the first 3 rows of audience evacuate and setting Blaine's Doctors coat alight. But missing everyone actually inside the arena.

Baine jumps back which causes his sunglasses to fall off and plummet into the arena. Then he takes off his flaming coat and bashes it with his cane. This puts out the fire out but he inadvertently knocks it into the arena as well.

Officer Jenny: "Oh Baine, such a litterbug."

Officer Jenny geys down on all floors to pick up the coat causing the wildly raging blinded Magmar to trip over her and land directly ontop the Magcargo. Crushing it under his enormous red hot backside.

Magcargo has fainted.

Officer Jenny picks up Blaine's doctors coat and puts it on. The Tentacool picks up Blaines sunglasses and places them over Officer Jenny's eyes, then perches itself onto her shoulder.

They high-five, hand on Tentacle.

The crowd boos intently.

What? Officer Jenny is evolving! Officer Jenny is becoming Dr Cool-Joy.

What do you do?

A. Accept.
B. Oh no you don't.

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A

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A
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A

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What monster would pick B.

b

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A

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A

love Jenny and tencacools friendship

A

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A. Accept.

That's it! Use your new found....coat... And take out that Magmar!

The Magmar has gotten back to its feet and wiped the worst of the toxic mist out of its eyes. Dr Cool-Joy looks at it over her sunglasses and is staring it down.

Dr Cool-Joy: "I'm going to give you one more chance. Don't feel like you have to fight. You always have a choice."

Magmar: "Magmar Magmar Magmar MAGMAR!"(In a few moments all you'll be feeling is OBLIVION!)

The Magmar steps back and unleashes a hellish Hyper Beam that blasts across the arena. But telegraphs it so blatantly that Dr Cool-Joy easily dodges it.

Dr Cool-Joy: "You don't have to do this. I'm begging you. You're going to regret it if you keep attacking."

Magmar: "MAGMAR MAGMAR!" (I REGRET NOTHING!)

The Magmar starts wildly firing Hyperbeams over and over and over in rage and anger, they're extremely poweful but so slow and predictable that it is easy for Dr Cool-Joy to side-step them.

Blaine: "MAGMAR YOU UTTER FOOL!"

Only then does it realize what it has done. It has fired a dozen or so hyperbeams directly in Blaine's direction. It would be impossible for an old man like Blaine to dodge them all or for them all to miss.

Magmar: "Magmar! Magmar Magmar Magmar!" (OH no! He'll kill me if I hurt him!)

The Magmar rushes forward with desperate scuttling speed and dives in front of it's own beams to protect Blaine. Effectively blasting itself multiple times. Then collaspes in a heap.

Magmar has fainted.

The crowd jeers and boos.

Blaine: "Grrraugh....You're not the only one with tricks up their sleeve. Heheheheheh... I didn't want to do this but you deserve it! Graveler! I choose you!"

A Graveler emerges on the field. It seems slow and cumbersome compared to Ponyta and Magmar.

Blaine: "You see I don't just solely deal in fire ... I deal in FIREPOWER! Graveler! Use Self-Destruct! And make it hurt!"

Graveler charges forwards manically waving it arms and making aweird roaring "BWAAAARHGLLLLLLL" sound as it starts to glow bright red. Then it abbruptly explodes with enormous power. The explosion is so large it tipped your bucket over and you had to awkwardly shift it back up.

Graveler fainted.

A huge smoke cloud covers the arena. The crowd gives a standing ovation, they are loving the show.

Blaine: "Ladies and gentlemen! Allow me to present to you what little remains of-ARCEUS' BALLS!"

The smoke dissipates you see Dr Cool-Joy standing there, utterly unharmed. One hand on her hip, the other making a peace sign. The Tentacool is copying her on her shoulder but doesn't have any fingers. The clapping suddenly stops.

Blaine: "Bu...How did you....That was one of my most powerful attacks!? How could you withstand it!?"

Dr Cool-Joy: "Hmmph! Well you see! You maybe be more experienced than anyone here. You may be richer than anyone here. You may have trained your pokemon well and I may have just stolen your coat for no reason. But you see, you'll never win in the end Blaine, because there's something you don't understand. All your pokemon are vicious, proud and mean! It's not about sheer power or size. It's about the love and bond you have with your pokemon! The respect between man and nature. The true eternal longing for understanding and succeeding despite our differences.All of our strengths and all of our weaknesses. If that hope and determiation is strong enough then there is nothing you cannot overcome, nothing is too tough or too large or t-"

Suddenly she is rundown by a stampeding Rhydon from out of no where. The attack sends her crashing to the ground with a splat and knocks the Tentacool back 15 feet. The Rhydon then stomps over and over again ontop of her while beating its chest. Pressing her further into the ground with each crushing blow.

Blaine: "It was in my left pocket. I remember now. Sorry you were saying something??"

Dr Cool-Joy: "Flgflffffphmphhh.....phlfhh...uugghhhh..." She garbles, spitting pebbles and dirt out of her mouth.

Blaine: "Right of course. Well said."

The Rhydon finishes her off with a giant jump. Landing directly on top of her with all its immese weight and power.

Dr Cool-Joy Fainted.

The Tentlecool crawls up to her and hugs the body. Then to your surprise they withdraw into the same pokeball together.

The crowd screams "Go BLAINE PAIN TRAIN! *Clap clap clap-clap-clap* Go BLAINE PAIN TRAIN!" while the Rhydon roars and mimicks ramming things with its horn.

What do you do:

A: Splash! He's not so tough.
B. You got this Trainer! I have faith in you. (Injured)
C. A hardheaded brute? This is a job for Bruno!
D. You're no match for that thing. Just concede now and maintain some dignity.

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C - we'll make a champ out of him.

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C.

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C. Fighting types are good against rock, everyone knows this.

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C

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C

When is the anime adaption btw lol
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C
This is so awesome

The Tentlecool crawls up to her and hugs the body. Then to your surprise they withdraw into the same pokeball together.

AWWW

C. A hardheaded brute? This is a job for Bruno!

You're not licked yet! You still have your strongest..... Well... you still have Bruno anyway.

You throw your pokeball and Bruno appears in the arena. For the first time you've ever seen him not drunk or hungover. He is flabbergasted by the sight of the crowd and after a few moments of dumbfounded gawping, he starts adopting ridiclous poses and doing handstands and cartwheels. Which might be impressive if he could do any of them consistently. But his lack of practice and belly make that impossible. The Rhydon is getting increasing annoyed that its audience is being stolen.

Bruno: "Whaaarrrgh! ahahahaha! AGggh! Bwahha! Yes! It is I! Believe your eyes! What you're seeing is no trick! It really is me!"

Blaine: "Wait... No... It can't be! Bruno!?"

Bruno looks up and notices Blaine for the first time, then immedately facepalms and curses under his breath.

Bruno: "Uggggggh no... damn it... not now... not here... Not the In-laws."

Blaine: "NO! No! NO NONO! I am NOT your father-in-law! Not anymore! Dumping your worthless drunk hide was about the only smart thing my daughter actually did in her entire life."

Bruno tries to act unscathed but is clearly twitching in hurt and anger.

Bruno: "Big talk coming from some elderly loser gym leader on a backwater island. At least I made it to the Elite Four! At least I did something with my life! Tell me how much of the world did you ever travel!? Huh!? When is your protg gonna take over your gym so you can advance to the next level? I gave mine to my nephew when I was young because I joined the Elite Four. You can't even let go of your neverwas glorydays! All you could ever do was impress some hicks!"

The crowd go from mild confusion to loud booing. They did not like that. Blaine senses an oppotunity and turns to the crowd.

Blaine: "Hey everyone! This is Bruno! You probably don't rememer him. He's a former 'Elite Four' member who lost in a cleansweep to an 11 year old! Then was kicked out in disgrace and became the world's least funny drunken fool! Now he's serving an ugly Magikarp! I think that's a fitting position for him."

The entire crowd point and laugh at Bruno.

Blaine: "Hey! Cinnabar Island? What do you all think of Bruno? Let's hear it!"

A loud mixture of boos and "Bruno Sucks!" chant breakout among Blaine's many fans. Bruno takes the bait and turns his back on Blaine.

Bruno: "Oh yeah! Well shadup! You're all pe-"

Blam!

The Rhydon clocks Bruno in the back of the head with a haymaker while he was distracted. Bruno crashes face first into the floor. The Rhydon bends down and drills Bruno through the back of his left leg with its horn, making Bruno scream out in pain as the horn rips into him.

The Rhydon stands back up, dangling upsidedown Bruno from its horn in front of the mocking crowd and parading him about like a cat toy. Bruno squeals as the Rhydon struts back and forth in front of the crowd showing off as they cheer.

This is not going well.

What do you do:

A. Be supportive. Come on Bruno. I got faith in you.
B. Be enraging. Bruno needs to get angry to stand a chance. Not full of self-pity.
C. Try to turn the crowd against Blaine.
D. Nah he's useless. Get in there Trainer!(injured)
E. Nah he's usless. I got this with my Splash.
F. That Rhydon is unstoppable. I give up.

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A.

Bruno! Bruno! Bruno! Or I guess a bunch of magikarp noises and flopping about.

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A. He just has to BELIEVE!

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A

YOU GOT THIS BRUNO!!! He is a marital artist!

You know, just to switch things up a bit

E
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B

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B

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B



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C

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B.

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Im torn between B and C.

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C

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A. If there's one thing Final Fantasy VI taught, it's that martial artists beat trains. So Bruno can stop the Blaine Train.

JE19426 posted...

A. If there's one thing Final Fantasy VI taught, it's that martial artists beat trains. So Bruno can stop the Blaine Train.

Perhaps the key is some sort of suplex.

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B. Be enraging. Bruno needs to get angry to stand a chance. Not full of self-pity.

The Rhydon swings upside-down Bruno around and starts slapping him about to the delight or the crowd.

Rhydon: "Rhydon Rhydon Rhydon! " (I'm the greatest son of a Growlithe that ever lived!)

You: "Magikarp! Magikarp Magikarp!" (Bruno! You have to fight back! Stop letting them push you around! Harness all your rage and use it!)

It isn't working. Rhydon is flicking Bruno's face to amuse the crowd. Bruno and you have made direct eye contact. It almost feels like he can understand you.

You think for a moment. How did your brothers used to make you angry? Oh yeah they were all bigger than you and pushed you around. Not helpful. You can't think what to say.

You: "Magikarp MagikarpMagikarp!" (Bruno you've got to get mad! You must be angry!)

Bruno: "Why would I be hungry when I'm getting killed!? Why would you even say that at a time like this!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? Aaaaarrrghhh!"

With a screaming roar Bruno kicks Rhydon in the side of the head with his good leg. Before Rhydon hits the ground, Bruno frees his other leg, spins and punches Rhydon In the jaw.

They both start thrashing about in an uncoordinated meele that resembles two sentient busses repeatedly crashing into each other.

An irresistible force meets an immovable object as the two lock arms and start start grappling. Trying to overpower the other.

They're both grunting and It looks like an evenly matched dead heat until Bruno's horn stabbed leg gives way and he drops to one knee while grimacing.

Rhydon now has leverage and pushes Bruno onto his back.

Blaine: "Yes Rhydon! Finish him off!"

The crowd starts calling for it "Horn Drill! Horn Drill! Horn Drill!"

Rhydon starts bringing his head down for horn drill directly in Bruno's face when at the last moment Bruno grabs the base of the horn with both hands.

He then starts twisting and the Rhydon screams in a high pitch you did not think it was possible of reaching. Bruno twists even harder and pulls back. Ripping the horn right off the Rhydon's face with a terrible fleshy tear.

You can tell that Yenke and Biran aren't in the crowd because no one is laughing now.

The Rhydon backs away, grabbing its face where its horn used to be but Bruno is already back on his feet, well foot. He's hopping on one leg and starts smacking and stabbing the Rhydon around with its own horn.

You: "Magikarp Magikarp?" (Okay maybe that's a little too angry?)

Bruno hoists the Rhydon above his head and hurls it at Blaine. With a thunderous impact they crash into each other. Blaine is left flat on the floor, legs sprawled with the Rhydon next to him and his cane in pieces.

Blaine: "Will you people stop ruining my things!? EEEEEEK!"

Blaine screams like a little girl as Rhydon's sharp horn lands between his legs with a loud thud, sticking out of the ground an inch away from his pokeballs.

Rhydon fainted.

Bruno waves his arms at the silenced crowd.

Bruno: "Are you not enter-" then stumbles over his wounded leg, falling onto his face again. "Aggh, I'm bad at this..."

Blaine: "You.... You're despicable! You think you can come to my Island! While the whole town is out! And humiliate me in front of everyone I know?"
Bruno: "Yeah pretty much, I mean that is the gist of it."

Blaine: "Grrrr.. You think you've won don't you!? You truly have no idea. I still have one Pokemon left and i-"

Bruno: "Ohhhh what is it? A Rapidash? An Oddish? Oh! Maybe an Accelgor? Pfft, look what I just did to your Rhydon. On one leg too! Whatever you got is going to be a Gastly in 5 minutes."

The crowd all start stamping their feet In anticipation. The whole gym starts to vibrate making you slosh around helplessly in your bucket. They all know something you don't.

Blaine: "Well Bruno. You may have been an elite. But me? I've always been a LEGEND!"

He throws his last pokeball and in a crimson blaze of fire that hurts your eyes just to look at, a Moltres appears in all its glory with a proud squawk.

Before you could say it's name, it's zipping around the air. It does loops, spins, corkscrews and spreads jets of flame into marvelous patterns as it soars above the arena. It's 4 times as fast as the Ponyta ever was.

The entire crowd all stomp, clap and chant In unison. "Molt-res! Molt-tres! Molt-res! Molt-tres!"

Bruno: "Huh... that's a big bird..."

Moltres: "Moltres." (Omae wa m shinde iru)

Bruno: "Nani?"

It swoops down, faster than the wind and generates a gargantuan tsunami of fire that engulfs everything around it, including Bruno. For a few moments the whole arena is red as fire washes over it.

The entire crowd gasp in shock and awe. Nothing is left of the arena grounds after the attack has finished except mounds of ash and dirt. You find it fortuitous that you were already in water.

It's super effective! Everything this bird does is super effective!

Blaine: "And that's the last anyone ever saw of that guy. And there was much rejoicing."

Some of the ground starts to shift until you can't believe your eyes when you realize it's Bruno, covered head to toe in ash and dirt as he crawls back to his feet.

Bruno: *Huff puff* "Meh, your daughter hits harder than that."

Somehow, someway, Bruno is still in there. He's acting tough but he's badly burned and breathing heavy. You are overwhelmingly relieved that his pants were fire resistant.

Blaine: "Impossible!!! No one has ever withstood an attack from Moltres before!"

Bruno: "I am not no one. I am an ELITE!"
Blaine: "That doesn't even make sense!"
Bruno: "I've lost a lot of blood."

Blaine: "Oh to heck with this charade! Moltres! Stop showing off and just end this! Now!"

Moltres is preparing for another attack.

What do you do?

A. Go Bruno! Attack it now!
B. You can't beat fire with your fists Bruno. You need a strategy. Use your head!
C. Withdraw Bruno. Up and at 'em Trainer!(injured)
D. Withdraw Bruno. Legendary flame is no match for my Splash
F. M-m-m-moltres!? Run! Flee! Surrender! Evacuate! Get outta here!

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B. Headbutt is a good move; maybe it will flinch.

Love the references in this one.


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B.

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B

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D
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D
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As much as I want to go with D... B it is.

Gotta be B

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Oh that poor rydon but

You can tell that Yenke and Biran aren't in the crowd because no one is laughing now.